There once was a girl they called Fi
Who would seem weird to you and to me
She searched all around
And strange things she found
And so from her home she did flee

There once was a young man called Jack
His sister he always attacked
He denied all things weird
A strangeling he speared
And always must cut Fi some slack

There once was a hot boy named Clu
So dumb he knew not what to do
I gave him a fig leaf
It fit well beyond belief
I wuv him to bits, that is true

There once was a woman named Molly
who sung folk-rock music by golly
Carey played in her band
He liked to hold her hand
Could they be dating? Pro'lly

There once was a dude they called Carey
A siren he would like to marry
Molly was his trusted friend
He adored her to no end
And he was scared of things that were scary

There once was a large man named Ned
Who had curls on the top of his head
He roadied for Molly
Is known for his folly
And is absent so much, you'd think he was dead

There once was a lady, Irene
She often seemed very mean
With cell phone in hand
She managed the band
And was able to keep the bus clean

There once was a blondie named Annie
Jack cannot like her, can he?
Conrad protects her
I wish Fi would hex her
And kick her out on her skinny fanny