Title: Necessary Reactions
Pairing: Gibbs/Vance
Rating: T
Genre: Slash
Cat: Angst, slight Romance/UST
Spoilers: Spoilers for Shabbat Shalom and after, but not really an episode tag.
Warnings: Language. Slash.
Summary: This isn't right, doesn't make sense, isn't what either of them want, but somehow, it's what's necessary right now.
Author's Note: Written for the First Time Challenge on NFA. Probably not what the challenger had in mind, but it fits. That and I've been wanting to write a Vibbs fic for awhile now. I'm hesitant to label it romance, because it's not a happy fic. It is what it is. You'll see.

Gibbs isn't surprised to find him in the basement. It's become a frequent thing in the previous weeks, and it's not that he minds, and it's certainly not that he doesn't understand, but he can sense what's coming next – it's in his gut, and he knows how fucked things are going to get, even more fucked than they already are – and he knows he has to do something, yell, kick him out, before their relationship goes beyond the point of no return.

He stops at the bottom of the wooden steps and meets his visitor's gaze. "Leon."

Vance gives him a curt nod. "Gibbs."

They stare at each other for a few moments, then Gibbs speaks. "Find a babysitter for the kids?"

Vance shrugs. "They seem to like Ziva."

Gibbs could feel the silence coming again, could hear the light bulb buzzing overhead. "You shouldn't be here, Leon. You should be home with your kids."

Vance glances down at the floor, sensing Gibbs coming closer, though he moved almost inaudibly. "I can't look at them, Gibbs. I can only see her. . ."

He doesn't look up when Gibbs puts his hand on his cheek, his rough palm warm against his face, just waits for him to speak.

"I should punch you right now, you son-of-a-bitch."

The words, growled, make Vance's head snap up, and Gibbs observes the anger in his eyes, mentally nodding at the reaction. Good. Better to be pissed off than feeling sorry for himself.

Vance realizes then that Gibbs' hand is still on his face and reaches up, yanking it down, still glaring at him. "I suppose this is where you tell me how lucky I am, to still have my children, even though my wife is gone." He shakes his head. "You know, Gibbs, what happened to you was terrible, and I'm sorry it happened, but it's not the same. I can't even grieve properly, because I have responsibilities. I have responsibilities as a father, and as the Director of NCIS. I'm the director of a federal agency, Gibbs! Sure, I got some time off, some sort of 'mourning period,' but you tell me you were magically over Shannon and Kelly after a month or two."

Gibbs listens to the rant without saying anything, just blinking. When it's clear Vance is done, he speaks. "Why are you here, Leon?" He holds up a hand to stop Vance from interrupting. "And don't give me any of that, 'I can't look at my kids' crap. I know that's not the real reason." He raises his eyebrows. "What is it?"

Vance stares at him, the anger still blazing in his eyes, before lunging forward, grabbing Gibbs' face in his hands and pressing his lips hard against Gibbs'. The kiss isn't meant to be comforting or romantic, not even passionate; it's just another way to feel something other than pain.

Gibbs returns the kiss briefly, then fights against Vance's hands, shaking his head as he pulls away. "We can't do this," he mutters, though the look in his eyes says he feels differently. "Goddammit, Leon. You know nothing good is going to come from this." He doesn't even have to ask, 'Why me?' because he already knows the answer. He's a kindred spirit. Someone killed the love of his life, too. This isn't right, doesn't make sense, isn't what either of them want, but somehow, it's what's necessary right now.

Vance is already backing up, as though just realizing what he's done, and shame washes over his face. He won't apologize – he's too proud for that – but there's a hesitance in his actions, a longing for something he needs right now, that Gibbs completely understands.

"Shit," Gibbs says, and before he can stop himself, he's the one initiating the kiss, but he's not as demanding as Vance was. This tragedy has brought them together in ways that absolutely nobody else around them can comprehend, and he feels a duty to be the support system Vance needs right now, in whatever way that means.

Gibbs lets the kiss go on for a minute, maybe two, before breaking away, turning his face away so he doesn't have to look Vance in the eye. He isn't even sure what to do next. Do they leave it at this, teenage make out sessions in his basement, do they break it off and pretend like this never happened tomorrow when they're back at work, do they take things upstairs, see what happens in the dim light of his bedroom?

He shakes his head. "We shouldn't. . ."

"I know."

It's the first time they give in. They both know it won't be the last.

The End