Hey guys! So I've been reading Vampire Academy fanfiction forever, and I decided it was about time to try writing my own story! I know this has been done before, but I love these types of stories so much lol. Constructive criticism is appreciated :)

Disclaimer: None of these characters are mine, they belong to the amazing Richelle Mead.

Summary: Everyone thinks Dimitri died in the caves, but what if he managed to get the upper hand on Nathan? Injured and alone, can he fight his way back to Rose in time to save her… from herself?

chapter 1-

Rose POV:

As I collapsed over the wards, I could hear a faint high pitched voice yelling my name. I ignored it and continued to lay in the grass and catch my breath. Lissa came running up to me and I realized that it was her voice that I had heard yelling for me.

"Rose! Rose I thought you were dead! You scared me so much, never do that to me again!"

I was about to tell her I was fine when the memories of the attack hit me like a train. The battle. The rescue mission. Dimitri. That final thought snapped me out of my haze as I started sobbing uncontrollably. He was gone, taken, dead… or worse. I struggled to breathe as I thought of the fact that I would never see him again. My lover, my soulmate, was gone. All I wanted was for him to be here and comfort me. I need him to tell me that everything will be okay.

Lissa held me while I sobbed, and I'm sure she only thought I was upset over what I had experienced. I took a quick look in her head and realized I was right. she was close to crying as well, over all the lives we had just lost.

As I laid in her arms, I could feel my heart breaking all over again. It felt as if a part of my soul had been ripped away from me, and it had. It was the worst pain I had ever experienced. Worse than breaking my ankle. Worse than having the air forced out of my lungs. Worse than dying. All my physical injuries were forgotten as I drifted into unconsciousness with memories of him fresh on my mind.

I woke to the sound of beeping, and a bright light. I had spent more time in the infirmary than I could've thought possible, so I'm used to it by now. As my eyes adjusted to the light, the faces of my friends came into focus. Lissa, Christian, Adrian, and Eddie were all there. Christian and Adrian were asleep, and Eddie perked up when he saw that I was awake. Lissa shot up out of her seat.

"Oh my god, Rose! You're awake!" She hugged me as tight as she could with me being in a hospital bed. I tried not to let her know how much it hurt.

"Liss, why am I here?"

"Rose… Do you remember what happened?"

"Yes, the academy was atta-" My blood ran cold and it felt like my heart stopped along with my sentence. Dimitri was gone. Everything came rushing back to me again, for the second time. Lissa, assuming the look on my face was still due to confusion, continued to talk.

"Yes, the academy was attacked and you passed out in my arms when you got back from the raid. You've been asleep nearly 24 hours, we were starting to worry. What happened out there Rose? I get that we lost a lot of people, but that wasn't normal." I couldn't take it anymore.

"Nothing about this is normal Lissa! Dimitri's gone. He's dead, or worse. I watched him get taken by a strigoi and there's nothing that I could do to stop it. Do you know what that feels like? Being so powerless?"

Lissa was shocked by my outburst. I don't blame her, so was I. Eddie just stared at me. Worry mixed with fear in their eyes. Lissa tried to talk to me some more, but I ignored her and stared out the window.

"Rose… Rose please talk to me. I know I'm not a guardian like you, but if you let me know what's going on I'll do my best to understand."

She couldn't. She couldn't even fathom what I was feeling right now. I felt hollow, like nothing even mattered anymore. Dimitri didn't deserve this. At the thought of his name, my heart split open all over again. The vision of his eyes as he stared into mine for the last time burned into my brain, and I squeezed my eyes shut as tight as I could to try and make it go away. I didn't work. I should've been stronger, faster, anything. I shouldn't have let my mother pull me away, like a coward. It should've been me.

"What?" Lissa asked, confused. Shit. I didn't mean to say that out loud.

"Nothing." She didn't buy it.

"Rose, what did you say." She said it stern, bringing out her "mean voice" that didn't phase me in the slightest. I looked back out the window.

"Rose," she said, and I could feel her glaring at me. Sighing, I turned back around and met her glare straight on.

"It should've been me."

"What are you talking about?"

"It. Should've. Been. Me," I said, harder this time. Understanding filled her features, and her face softened.

"Rose, Dimitri's death wasn't your fault. You did the best you could. He was a great guardian, and an even better person, but he's gone." Unable to speak anymore, I looked my head away from her.

Realizing I was done talking, I heard her turn around and head back to her seat. I lost track of time. Later, when Christian and Adrian woke up, they all tried talking to me. I just couldn't do it anymore, I was drained. Eventually they all gave up and left, all except Eddie.

After a while Eddie stood up and walked over to crouch right in front of me, with his hands on my bed.

"I've been watching you, you know. Or I guess I should say both of you. I don't know how no one else saw it. I know you love him Rose." I just stared at him, blankly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said in a raspy voice, looking away from him. Eddie didn't look convinced.

"I've seen the way you look at him, and him back at you. You love each other." My eyes widened, fully realizing how bad this was. No no no. What if he tells? What if he doesn't approve. Seeing my expression, Eddie continued.

"Oh Rose, don't worry, I won't tell. I'm so sorry, you know I'm always here for you, right?" I nodded in response, and once again, my lip trembled and the tears spilled over the edge of my eyes, blurring my vision.

"It's n-not f-fair. Why? Wh-why him? I Just got hi-him Eddie. I lo-love him so much, it fe-feels like a pa-part of m-me is mi-missing," I hiccuped. I'm surprised he understood a word of my rambling, but he just nodded.

Silently, he got up and crawled onto the bed with me, wrapping his arms around me and letting me cry until I was so numb there was nothing I could do except lie there until the darkness took me again.

So… What do you think? Please let me know!