How to train your Viking

by MuzaiandYuuzai

Hiccup H. Haddock, being the worst dragon slayer ever, decides to try his hand at Viking training instead. Not that it’s going to be easier teaching over 300 Vikings how not to kill their dragons.

Title: How to train your Viking

Author: Muzai Yuuzai

Rating: PG

Characters/Pairings: Not as of yet

Spoilers: That whole Hiccup leg thing….

Disclaimer: Don't own and don't pretend to

Summary: Hiccup H. Haddock, being the worst dragon slayer ever, decides to try his hand at Viking training instead. Not that it's going to be easier teaching over 300 Vikings how not to kill their dragons.

Rule 1. Remain calm
In the Great Hall of the Hairy Hooligan tribe; there is an old book, penned by an even older Viking. It's not written very well, but bears some relevant information and quite a few illustrations on the subject of dragons. The overall advice of the tome can be summed up thusly.

'When facing any dragon, except one which bears its own set of instructions; the traditional advice is kill on sight. As of late there has been a notation in the margins which reads 'yell very loudly.'
While this information is rather outdated, the point remains that the book exists and that there is no companion piece or supplement on training Vikings.
(There are rumors such a manuscript may yet exist, but we are not ones to give into flights of fancy.)

Such a work is exactly the sort of thing Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third needed more than anything in this world. Well almost, what he really needed at the moment was a pair of earplugs, but there is more to that story; the sort of more that takes quite some explanation. Let us go back to the beginning to flesh out the tale and return to this when we are more sure of our surroundings.

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the third was not your average Viking. In fact he was so unaverage that he was the very boy real Vikings overlooked in raids because he was too small to be away from his mother. As a scrawny freckled youth of a fierce Viking Tribe the young Hiccup was in a single word, different.

Stoick the Vast, Terror of the Seas, Most High Ruler of the Hairy Hooligans, O Hear His Name and Tremble, Ugh, Ugh, was the first to notice such a variance from the usual characteristics in his son.

Hiccup was born on a quiet day with nothing more than a snowstorm to mark the occasion. Stoick's wife, Valhallarama had only been in labor for an hour when the midwife returned and shook her head sadly. The infant had been borne, but the outlook had been grim. As he, the newborn, was such a tiny child; no one had expected him to live long. His mother on the other hand, merely kissed her boy's brow and offered the child up for the chief's inspection.

The tiny babe squirmed weakly in his arms, the man's great red beard scratchy against his face. All pale and wrinkled, he'd opened his green eyes and hiccupped loudly before stilling against the welcoming beat of his father's heart. The infant was named after his Great-grandfather and Great-great-great-grandfather on the spot. He was small, but he was the chief's first son, and as such was the hope and heir to the tribe of Hairy Hooligans. Looking down at the child, Stoick couldn't have been prouder.

Hiccup as mentioned before was not your average Viking, and as the boy grew, certain peculiarities of his began to stand out among the other Hooligan Children. Hiccup did not grow as fast as the other boys or girls of the Village, nor did he get as big. A bit of a twig, the chief's son was miserable at bashyball, rather mouthy and almost useless at anything he tried. While he was a toddler these things could be overlooked as the inability of youth, but by the time he was seven his differences shone like stars.

Before his birthday, Stoick took his young son outside and pointed to the tallest stone in the yard.

"Hit your head on that rock." He ordered the boy.

Hiccup looked up at him in confusion blinking his green eyes.

"Why?"

That reply had not been what Stoick had expected.

"Because I told you to."

All at once his father's order didn't seem to matter as much as the result.

"But that would hurt."

It was the will of the gods, that Hiccup was to be different and by the will of the Gods all of those differences turned out for the better, not just for him, but for Berk and all of its inhabitants. Inhabitants who were slowly learning to coexist with each other. As of yet not a single Viking had tried to kill a dragon; nor did the oversized reptiles feast on any human flesh. There were still individual incidents between the species, but that was expected. More so than before, they had hope.

Hiccup dashed past the house, a bucket of fish cradled to his chest. Turning slightly he beamed at his father before stumbling down the hill.

'Well not all those differences' Stoick thought fondly. Half a step behind him the boy's dragon ambled down the slope, more resembling a dog than fire breathing flier.

The five other members of his peer group were assembled at the training grounds by the time Hiccup arrived. Toothless stalked into the domed enclosure warily before settling down by the entrance to doze. Astrid offered the late teacher a small smile, but the other students weren't so pleased to see him.

"What took you?" Groused Snotlout from his corner of the ring.
Grumpy dragons were far more of a challenge to control than humans. Hiccup just set the bucket down and pointed upward.
"Someone had to get the other half of the class."
As he spoke massive shadows fell over youths and one by one they raised their eyes to the sky and the dragons circling overhead.

Just as quickly the beasts swooped in through the open dome and began to descend, the great beats of many wings buffeting the young Vikings with cool air. The Hooligans watched in silence as the earth beneath their feet rumbled at the touchdown of their larger classmates. Shining in the faint sunlight peeking through the clouds, the Nadder twisted its head around trying to catch glimpses of the humans as the much larger Monstrous Nightmare hung from the swaying chains, lashing its spiked tail. With its heads winding sinuously the Zippleback folded its wings vocalizing softly while the final creature, a heavy Gronckle began dozing against the wall.

"Well," Hiccup began as his students sized each other up,"Let's get started."

As this was the very second lesson in dragon training Hiccup was ever going to give, he squared his shoulders, lifted his chin and offered an encouraging smile to both Vikings and dragons. No one responded so he simply continued with the lesson.

The first objective was to familiarize the riders with their dragons, to reinforce the bond that had bridged the gap between them as it were. Their very first flights as partners had been disastrous; nearly all of the Vikings had been unseated, though not by choice. It was Hiccup's opinion that the way to tame anything, to master it and make it yours was to keep trying. Watching the others Hiccup was as nervous it was as if it was him holding out a fish for the obsidian dragon perched on a cluster of rocks, towering above him.

Astrid strode right up to the preening Nadder, fearless and proud. Hiccup wanted to stay and watch her performance but he opted instead to aid Snotlout with his problem. The Nightmare was still clinging to the chains; it plaintively refused to come down, even as Hiccup tried to coax it with a fresh fish. It was then while he was distracted that the green speckled Zippleback moved, ignoring everyone including its riders and attacked the bucket promptly eating every fish within. In the shadow of the divider the lazy little Gronckle briefly moved, only sitting up long enough to snort warily in Fishlegs' direction before returning to her nap.

In the chaos Toothless made a disgruntled snort before rising to his feet.

"A little help?" Hiccup ventured looking to his draconic partner.

Striding to his side Toothless glanced up at the Nightmare and twitched an ear. For a few moments the dragons stared at each other and Toothless growled. The crimson dragon didn't stir but made a low rumbling sound in return. Without warning Toothless attacked, firing a single concussive blast that missed the other dragon, but dissolved the twisted wire as it struck. At once the formerly suspended Nightmare fell, taking the obliterated chain it had clung to with it, its lashing red tail took out Astrid, her Nadder and their instructor in one fell swoop. Pleased with his intervention Toothless returned to his position against the wall and went back to the sleep.

The entire debacle ended with a warbling cackle as the spooked Zippleback crashed into the wall, entangling its heads in the chains. It tugged and screeched loudly trying to dislodge the entanglements. The bucket wobbling over its spark producing head as its riders struggled to stand.

"Great!" Tuffnut shouted, leaning towards his sister. "Your dragon is as clumsy as you are."

Instead of freeing their mounts, the twins were wrestling, as the sinewy necks of their dragon flailed in panic.

The Nadder righted itself and bolted, its swinging tail hurling projectiles as it fled. Thankfully a well timed dodge ensured that the beast's rider Astrid wasn't on the receiving end of one of those spikes. As the dragon rose into the sky the blonde blew her bangs out of her eyes and hauled the felled instructor to his feet. Just behind them Snotlout and his 'partner' stared into one another's eyes before the temperamental dragon finally snapped it's great jaws and slunk away rumbling dangerously.

Terrified squawks greeted Hiccup as he moved over to the Zippleback and caught the chains wound about their heads. Speaking softly he drew the long necks toward him and tugged the bindings away freeing the dragon. Both heads growled rather agitated, but Hiccup ignored them, placing a hand on the closest snout and giving it a gentle scratch. The hostile rumble softened and the other head swooped down nudging earnestly to receive the same attention. Once it was close enough he finally drew the bucket of its pointed horns. With a relieved smile Hiccup patted the weaving dragons as the necks coiled about him

Turning slightly to the twins he frowned.
"You two have got to take care of your dragons." He said as a smoggy nose bumped against his cheek. "You're supposed to be working together."

"What about yours?"
Toothless was still lounging occasionally flicking his tail in what Hiccup had determined as a bored fashion.
"He's not making a nuisance of himself, unlike some people."
The heir to the Hairy Hooligans tribe glared meaningfully at the headstrong Thorston twins.
"You mean unlike everyone else." Ruffnut inquired sourly, punching her brother.
Glancing back Hiccup surveyed the assorted Hooligans and Dragons occupying the arena. The brightly colored Nadder and the irritable Nightmare had deserted the circle of stone already; as Snotlout bore telltale singe marks that usually accompanied his fiery dragon's passing. Fishlegs was still sitting on the sidelines, peering at the humming form of his partner as the dragon dozed on.

Sucking in a breath Hiccup scratched the rounded chins and sent the dragon its way with a gentle shove, before he squared his shoulders and tried to emulate the ways of Berk's most infamous teacher. "That was ridiculous." he boomed, well attempted to shout as he advanced on the combative pair. "You're here to learn how to train dragons, not to injure them or yourselves!"

Slowly, Tuffnut and Ruffnut released their sibling's collar sparing Hiccup a wary glance before they too walked away. Dumbfounded the chief's son turned to watch them go shoving each other as they marched through the gates. "Maybe we don't need to learn to train Dragons; it's not as if flying them is all that hard." snorted Tuffnut airily.
"Not if you can do it." His sister replied loudly and they shared a laugh, before that too dissolved into a shoving match.

"If you want to keep flying with them you'll have to learn how to work with them!" Hiccup tried again, but his reply fell on deaf ears as the twins rolled into the muddy grass howling at each other as he watched. A heavy hand clapping on his shoulder gave the boy a start, but he turned to find Fishlegs with a weak, but encouraging smile on his face.
"It took them weeks just to get the hang of sword fighting. I think they just need a little time."
"Well that and a swift kick to the posterior." Muttered the teen bitterly as his friend moved along the causeway towards the village.

A gentle punch connected with his shoulder and Hiccup wobbled slightly before turning to meet Astrid's gaze. It was always going to be like that it seemed, but he really didn't mind, more often than not the rough contact was merely Astrid's way of showing her affection.

"Today could have been worse." The golden haired girl insisted calmly watching the other students depart.

"Oh really, how?"

You could be on fire, half digested, or even falling to your doom." She replied smirking as he rubbed his arm.

"Thanks for reminding me."

"See you tomorrow?"

"If haven't been carried off in the night." He shrugged as she laughed, then turned towards the slumbering form of Toothless in the sun.

"Hey Hiccup." Astrid called back standing at the entrance to the former ring of death. "People can change, it just takes time."

She was right, and they both knew it. Nodding he continued towards his snoring friend, an amused smile pulling across his features.

"Time."

"Maybe long enough for a few irate dragons to eat some obnoxious Vikings."

Glancing in surprise at his cousin, Hiccup had to choke back laughter at the nearly serious expression on his face.

"Some Vikings?"

"One or two can't hurt."

Giving him a not to gentle shove, Jorgenson started up through the egress leaving Hiccup and his dragon alone in the arena of scored and scorched stonework. The reptile rose at his gradual approach, shaking dust and debris for himself before headbutting his human in the chest. Returning the affection with a scratch, Hiccup caught the saddle bar and heaved himself onto the waiting dragon. Toothless gave a cheerful purr as Hiccup settled across his shoulders and leaned close. Once in he was in position, they moved as one.

Toothless didn't take to the air as his rider had expected, instead he launched them through the gate and up the worn path. Tucking his wings close the scaly sprinter weaved past Snotlout, Fishlegs and barked lightly at Astrid as he galloped past. The great bridge leading into the village proper creaked loudly under their weight, but neither paid it much attention as they closed the distance between themselves and last pair of students.

It was there, right then as they slid in behind the twins, that the dragon took to wing. Toothless was so close that the Thorstons had to throw themselves to the dirt path as the Night fury swooped overhead. The wind from his wings buffeted the pair and they gaped in shock as rider and dragon rose into rapidly into the sky before arcing into a terrifying dive. Clutching to the saddle bar, Hiccup leaned into the descent to aid in maneuvering; it was almost instinctive to him now. Swooping past the twins, he turned in the seat, flashing the pair a smug grin. Toothless roared in triumph and spread his wings again.

This is what training could do, they seemed to say, looping into a complicated spin. The boy moved in unison with the dragon as they dove out of sight. Down the hill the pair streaked circling about the mountainside as they looped into the village proper. Soaring over the houses and roosts Toothless carried them through air before dipping down past other dragons to land heavily in the dirt. The shock rocked Hiccup in his saddle but he rolled with the momentum as Toothless moved again ambling towards the Great Hall and home.

The dragon padded through the square past others of his kind and Hiccup turned to look up towards the training grounds beyond the buildings. He could just see the shapes of his students and peers on the trail leading from the arena. His official first Dragon training lesson had not gone quite the way he'd expected it would. Loosening his grip on the saddle Hiccup sighed and Toothless twisted to meet his gaze crooning encouragingly.

"It's alright." Hiccup murmured leaning forward to pat the dragon's neck. "We have plenty of time. It's not like we're flying into battle tomorrow."

Under him the dragon rumbled again and turned his eyes forward, just in time to crash headfirst into the one of the fish filled cauldrons that were now so numerous. Brought to such a jarring halt Hiccup merely shrugged helplessly and offered the dazed dragon a fallen fish.

Maybe the other villagers weren't the only ones who needed training.

Meade Hall was filled by the time Hiccup soothed his ruffled friend and disentangled himself from his saddle. Despite a slight bruising and wounded pride, both he and Toothless were quite fine. The dragon had decided to curl in the last rays of the setting sun as his rider ascended the steps into the massive hall. Instead of joining his peers; whom he'd had more than enough of for one day, a lifetime if he counted the twins, Hiccup ventured towards the great table. Several warriors sat clustered around the table pounding the wood with flask and fist alike. Gobber's tales were a thing of wonder and rightfully so, he'd seen as much battle as Stoick himself. In another life he could have been a skald, his stories were so enthralling despite some alternate perceptions on their validity.

With quiet footsteps, Hiccup moved to his father's place. Once spotted a small, but serviceable place was made for him at the man's side, he nodded his thanks and joined his father up on the bench. Gobber's bloodthirsty tale continued and the men ate it up, the carnage only whetting their appetites. Stoick turned as Hiccup sat, his heavy eyebrows knitting together.

"Hiccup?"

"Long day." Hiccup replied tiredly and spoke no more.

Before long a thrall placed a loaded plate before him, but merely Hiccup poked dispassionately at it. He wasn't really that hungry. His father reached out and placed his own goblet before him and the teen was sipping down the mead before the vessel touched the table. The drink was sweet, with a hint of vanilla and something spicy. It was good and cold and the rider drank deep.

"Finally a healthy appetite," Spitelout chortled from beside him table as the empty cup met wood. A few men laughed and Hiccup favored his uncle with a strained smile before pushing a turnip into his mouth.

"How did your day get so long?" Stoick wondered aloud as he chewed the tuber.

Swallowing the lumpy vegetable Hiccup replied with a question of his own, "Did you ever have two warriors, and I use the term loosely, who couldn't work together?"

"Well of course." Boomed the chief as a well dressed woman moved to refill his goblet.

"What did you do about them?"

"They dueled until first blood, and the gods favored the victor."

Rather pleased by his son's interest in the proper way of the village, Stoick pushed another drink into his hand. Favoring the kindness with quick swallow Hiccup shook his head and turned back to the chief.

"As tempting as that is, I really don't think it's the best solution. They wouldn't stop at first blood; in fact I'm sure they wouldn't stop until the earth was dyed red."

"Thorstens?" asked the man curiously.

"Thorstens." his son agreed, spearing a bit of fish on his fork.

"What of us?" demanded a huge man from across the table, splattering the contents of his mug about as he leapt to his feet.

"Pipe down Tuffnut you old goat, we're speaking of those selectively deaf offspring o' yours." Gobber interrupted waving the taller man aside. The table broke into uproarious laughter and the bushy haired elder dropped heavily to the bench sneering at Hiccup.

"Jr and the girl eh? Not listening? Don't you be letting them get the best of you. A good swat will sort them out quick enough."

"To be honest," Hiccup interrupted, taking another swallow of the honeyed drink. "I don't think I could take them both at once."

A wry smile blossomed on the elder's face before he began laughing loudly.

"Stoick!" He called slapping the table, the boards creaking under his hand. "We have a problem!"

That kind of talk quieted the hall; diners craning their heads to discover what was happening and if so join the throng.

"What?" His father shouted between bites of mutton.

"Your son-" He roared, jerking a thumb at Hiccup, who choked on the fish he'd attempted to swallow. "Is modest!"

The men at the table howled as the boy chugged the nearest cup, spilling mead over himself and the table. Throat cleared, he could only stutter at the loud accusations as a few men broke out into hearty applause.

"Where was that modesty when you were out training Night Furies?" someone demanded and Hiccup wiped the mead from his face.

"Or staring down Nightmares in the ring?"

"It was there, somewhere behind the overwhelming sense of dread."

His reply garnered laughter, but more than that it drove the assemble Vikings to ask more questions, to encourage the heir to share a tale of his adventure.

"Well, let's hear it boy. Go on, in one season you've felled more dragon than any warrior here."

Hiding behind his cup, Hiccup spared a glance towards the greedy little terrors begging for scraps and the other signs of Berk's new partnership.

"My secrets are my own," he mutter cryptically to many groans and more laughter, "but there as still things that you may yet learn."

Pushing aside his plate Hiccup called to his father, sipping at his mead.

"On the subject of learning. Dragon training, for the whole village."

As expected the look his father gave him was highly skeptical, but Hiccup was not willing to back down. Not on this.

"We start tomorrow. The youngest children will begin after their chores, the adults at midday, and those in between before last meal so they can learn and prepare for the duties they're growing into. No one is exempt."

Turning on the wide bench, Stoick leaned close, matching his gaze with his son's. In the firelight he could see the eyes of his wife and force of his spirit in the boy who stared back at him.

"No one?"

Hiccup nodded with determination.

"No one."

Clapping a hand to the boy's shoulder Stoick replied in kind. "We start tomorrow."

Grinning with childish abandon the son of the chief thumped his mug on the table and drank again, his face nearly as red as his hair.

"Start what?" inquired Gobber noisily, gesturing with a chicken leg.

"Dragon Training." the boy insisted rocking in his seat.

"Oh goody, who do I have the honor of whipping into shape now?"

"Not you old friend-"began Stoick, just about the time his son chose to speak up.

"That dubious honor, is mine."

"Oh Woden preserve us."Gobber replied, tossing the bone to the Terrors peering over the table edge.

"Are you saying I can't?" Hiccup asked, but the Gobber ignored him in favor of poking fun at his father. "Are you sure the boy won't be killed before the first dragon lands?"

"Moderately." The chief answered, and Hiccup rolled his eyes finishing what was left of his drink.

"Oh right" he drawled with a touch of bitterness in his voice. "Talk about me like I'm not here. Is it because I'm short or because I really don't stand out?"

His elders laughed good-naturedly and the heir of the chief smiled despite himself.

"It's mixture of both lad." his father whispered.

"No it is not." Gobber interrupted again smiling crookedly. "It's because you, like your father are a bit of a stubborn fool. Especially when it comes to dragons."

"They're not dangerous, they're mostly harmless." he began as he tried unsuccessfully to cover a burp.

"Oh really? Tell that to the men missing limbs." His former teacher whispered back, swinging his detachable arm aloft.

"I'm one of those 'men'." Hiccup countered with a snort.

"You still can't lift a hammer." His father supplied unhelpfully and the laughter began again.

"I'm training dragons and you're worried about hammers?" Flushing red the boy folded his arms and sulked at the others, very much feeling his age."Nice to know the real dangers to the village."

On his other side Spitelout elbowed him gently offering an offhanded complement."You're not so much of a danger anymore."

"Thank you for summing that up." he remarked dryly as his father attempted to cover his laughter with a cough. Drawing his son close he tried again speaking soft, the way he had when Hiccup had been so much younger.

"You'll do fine. Just show them, show everyone what they need is to learn is a bit of this."

There in the great Meade Hall during the night meal, both the Chief of the Hooligan tribe and his only heir grinned at each other like children with a secret.

"You just gestured to all of him." Gobber whispered across the table in a less than conspiratorial tone.

"Best be mindful, he gets a bit fussy when you do that."

"I'm leaving." Hiccup announced in return pushing up from the bench wobbling on his feet.

"He's definitely your son." replied another elder and the men laughed again.

"He is that." Stoick the Vast admitted proudly clapping his swaying offspring on the back.

"Dragon training tomorrow." He babbled almost excitedly, before snapping an order to men assembled.

Amidst cheerful calls, well wishes and agreements Hiccup lifted his father's goblet, which had been refilled at some point. Tossing back the cool sweet mead he gulped once, twice and drained the vessel before slamming it to the table loudly.

"Good night, you Hooligans!" he all but shouted to a cacophony as he marched through the hall. His eyes caught sight of his peers clustered together and he nodded to them he passed.

"Do not be late." he slurred pleasantly before stumbling through the doors out into the night air.