A/N: I had intense browser issues with this fic previously. So i got frustrated, deleted EVERYTHING, and am putting it back to the form that i need - longer chapters, better flow! Thanks to all those that had reviewed it the last time - you guys are awesome!

Chapter One

The spring weather allowed blooming trees and burgeoning green lawns. Flowers danced lightly in the warming breeze, and shorts were becoming popular for those eager to escape their winter wear. The insects were chirring noisily, the sun blossoming in a warm blue sky – all around them was the awakening of outside activity, and it couldn't have been more peaceful than this.

That was a bandage on one cheek from a hard sparring session with his shinai, and his hat was pulled low so that the brim hid most of his expression. His pants were rolled at the hem because he chose not to partake in the shorts trend currently happening. Law concentrated on his newest manga, eyes moving from side to side as he absorbed the brilliantly rendered battle of Super Pike Bike Man and his sidekick, Tricycle Boy. Next to his head was a beautifully lacquered tray with a pitcher of lemonade with ice, fruit and a ladle. Around that were a couple of cups and creatively made braces-friendly snacks encased within Tupperware containers. Both of them were sitting atop of a blanket Sanji had pulled down from his grandfather's collection, and while the setting seemed so 'gay' to Law, he felt too comfortable to leave it.

They were sitting underneath a tree in the apartment complex's park area, where kids played on the equipment nearby, and Sanji had all his scrapbooking supplies around him.

"Hi, Mrs. Brighton! Welcome back! How was your grocery run?"

"Hi, Mr Thompson!"

"Hi, Mr and Mrs Willams! Are you back from your vacation?"

"I can't read if you're yelling in my ear every five seconds!" Law complained as Sanji sat back down on the blanket next to him. He re-opened his scrapbook, where he'd been coloring and pasting various things for most of the morning.

"I'm sitting way over here, you bastard," Sanji said cheerily, capping his gluestick. "If I wanted to yell in your ear, I would've done so – hi, Mrs Gaylon!"

"You just did!"

"Pish posh. Law, if your mouth hurts so much, why are you talking? Shouldn't you just sit there with it closed?"

Law's tongue crept over the braces that made his teeth ache, and his jaw complain. He scowled at Sanji, who was humming as he colored a page, head bent over with concentration. Every once in a while, he'd look up, scan the faces of those returning or leaving their apartment complex and shout out to them. It unnerved Law how Sanji knew so many people by their names, and gave them so much attention. He'd prefer not to bother with anybody – he chose to keep them at glare's length.

Besides, everyone knew who his father and uncle were, and all of them chose to stay far away from him, not wanting to be associated with 'riff-raff'.

But Sanji was a different breed of kid – he was the type to smile at everybody, and flirt with the younger set – Law still wasn't sure what made him hang around the kid, besides his amazing snack-making skills. For a child of eight, Sanji was quite talented.

Law then looked over his head to see Darcy Rue coming up the walkway, a half smile on her face as she held a bag from the corner mart in one hand, her phone in the other. He sat up quickly, feeling his cheeks warm as he felt in awe of her long golden hair, her light smattering of freckles, her cheerful expression. Sanji looked at him, then followed his line of vision, spotting the girl.

"Hi, Darcy!" he shouted cheerfully, abandoning his scrapbook and snatching the Tupperware container so he could intercept her. Law tried to call him back, but the boy was already in the girl's line of vision, and she paused in mid-step to allow him to catch up. Law wondered what it felt like to have that much confidence and security to just go up and talk to someone else, and pulled his knees in close as Sanji used his eight year old charms on the middle schooler.

Law had been admiring her for some time. He was drawn in by her presence, and he was pretty sure that if he ever wanted to try and talk to a girl, she was the one. There was something about her smile and cheer that made him feel she'd say 'hi' to him if he managed the confidence to say something to her. When she took the snack Sanji held out to her, she glanced at him, and he quickly looked away, too embarrassed to make eye contact with her.

Sanji returned to him, exhaling heavily. "I did everything I could. It's up to you, now," he said, causing Law to freeze with shock. Once he realized that Darcy was just standing there with an expectant look to her face, he paled. His soul might've even crept out from his dropped jaw. "Go talk to her. tell her she looks pretty in her sundress, and compliment the highlights in her hair. Mention the cornflower blue of her eyes, and suggest an evening at the park on the swings!"

"Shut up, you're so dumb! I'm not talking to her! I don't even know what to say!"

"Now's the opportunity! Take it! Don't be a wimp! Do you want me to go with you?"

"No! I can't talk to her!"

"Darcy! Come here!" Sanji shouted, waving at her to join them. She did so, and Law practically exploded with embarrassment and shock, unable to think of anything to say to her. 'Hi' was definitely an impossibility. There was no way he could talk in front of such a pretty vision, sure that anything he said to a girl would be considered 'stupid'. His throat closed up. His heart raced. His face bloomed with red, and Sanji gave him a thumbs up.

"Darcy, Law and I were enjoying some snacks and lemonade. He made it himself," Sanji said, gesturing at the pitcher, lying extravagantly so that his friend made points with the girl. "Would you like some?"

"No, thanks," she declined politely, looking at Law. She recognized him. He was the boy who always had a book in his face, who said mean things to other kids if they bothered to talk to him, and whose parents made her parents and others complain to the school board. He always looked intimidating, glaring at every one who accidently looked at him, but whenever she caught him looking at her, he had a dopey expression on his face. "Hi."

When he said nothing in return, looking at his manga – which he tried to hide subtly to the side of him – she frowned.

"Well, rude," she commented. "How come your friend is so nice and you're not?"

"It's a disease," Sanji confessed, standing quickly as he realized that Law was having a hard time responding. "I like talking to people. Law only talks to a few because he chooses his friends very carefully."

Hand on her hip, Darcy asked, "So I'm not good enough to talk to? Maybe he can't, with those things on his teeth. Oh, well, he doesn't have anything nice to say, anyway."

"Ah, well, it does hurt for him to talk, so maybe he doesn't have anything to say. I'll walk you to the door!"

"Is it true, Law?" Darcy asked, bending slightly just to look him in the eyes. "Your dads are gay? Are you going to be a homo, too?"

Irritated at her attitude, Law stood up quickly, and she backed off with a startled expression, Sanji freezing in the middle of pouring another drink.

"My uncle and his brother are definitely not gay, asshole. Who the hell do you think you are, talking to me that way? Hopefully the next time you utilize your car, you and your family don't get into an accident," Law threatened her, and she cowered, backing away. Sanji looked at him in horror. "And what the hell are you talking about, I can't talk with these stupid things? Obviously, I talk just fine. I just chose not to talk to idiots like you who can't even pass their science tests. Walk your dumb ass out into traffic, jerk!"

"What a thing to say!" she exclaimed.

"You can't say that sort of thing to a girl!" Sanji exclaimed, as Darcy quickly turned and ran away from them, Law looking furious as he held onto his shinai tightly. "That wasn't very nice, Law!"

"She wasn't very nice," he grumbled, sitting down with a hard flounce. "I can't believe I even thought she was."

With a sympathetic frown, Sanji handed him the drink he'd poured. "Well, to be honest, she was being a jerk."

"And who the hell are you to go up to somebody like that?"

"I just wanted to help out! I figured if you weren't going to do anything, I'd just help you."

"I don't want your help, stupid!"

"Fine. Shut up and drink your juice!"

"Girls are stupid, anyway," Law grumbled, sipping at the cold liquid. "I told you they were."

"Maybe if you smiled more, they'd like you better," Sanji commented. When Law looked at him and managed a half smile, he winced. "Or not. You look constipated."

"It hurts, okay? I can't! I refuse! And shut up, brat, it doesn't matter, anyway. Girls are stupid. They like boys like – like older versions of you, who do stuff for them. Guys like me don't get girls – Doffy says we have to buy them. I'm unclear on that. I don't know if he means by prostitution or through mail order."

"What's 'prostitution'?"

Law blinked and looked up at the tree they sat under. "Pretty sure it's buying their company for, like, a night to talk to, or...I don't know. Whatever you do with women. Cora told him to shut up, and I keep forgetting to look it up."

"You can buy women? Like from the store?" Sanji asked, amazed and interested, crouching next to him. "How much money do you have?"

"Twenty dollars."

"How much do you think they cost?"

"I don't know, and I don't care! Choke on your pineapples, asshole. 'Ch." With a dejected look at the doorway that Darcy had taken to escape, he scowled, pulling his knees to his chest again while Sanji finished off his drink and set it aside.

"I'm going to start saving, then. It shouldn't cost more than fifty to buy a lady from the store," Sanji said. "When I buy one, I'm going to pamper her."

Law gave him a look of disgust, then hit him with his shinai. "You are such a weird kid! You're eight! What do you know about that stuff?"

"Then we'll get married, and have kids right after high school!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, this is stupid. I'm going home."

"Okay, well – there's plenty of fish in the sea, Law! Don't let the loss of one lady prevent you from wanting the love of another!"

"You're so dumb, I swear. Life isn't about 'ladies', you know."

Sanji looked at him with a wide-eyed horror. "Then what is it about, if they're all around us?"

"I don't know! There's something different out there, and I'm sure I'll find it. Anyway, I better go home. Cora was bitching about my room, again."

"Mr Flamingo come back from Florida, yet?"

"No."

"Come to dinner, then. I'll make you your favorite. Papa's going to be out late at work."

"Okay."

Later that evening, when Corazon was frowning at a gossip rag, smoking a cigarette, Sanji leaned over the couch to say to him, "How much do ladies cost, Mr Cora?"'

Corazon choked on his smoke.

"Me and Law were talking about buying a lady, because he said that Doffy said that only him and Law could buy ladies, and he called it "pross de tuition", and I was just wondering because I might want to buy one, too."

"OH MY GOD! DOFFY! LAW!" Corazon shouted, reddening. Law emerged from his room with a scowl, trash bag in hand. "Come here!"

"Doffy isn't here," Law reminded him crankily, Sanji resting his cheek upon his palm as Corazon twisted in the couch to look at them both.

"Both of you will not talk about 'prostitution' anymore, and if Doffy mentions it ever again, you tell him that I told you guys that it's not a subject to be discussed around kids!" Corazon sputtered, Sanji carefully pushing the hand holding the cigarette to the side.

"But I was just curious," Sanji said, straightening away from the couch. "What if I can't find a lady, either? What if I have to buy one, too? Do they come in stores? Or do you have to order them from Amazon?"

"You are such a weird kid," Law told him as Corazon continued to look horrified.

"Don't worry about it! It's not a subject kids should be talking about!" he said, causing both of them to frown. "It's an adult topic!"

"Why?" Law asked curiously. "Is this like one of those things, like Doffy's breath mint business?"

"YES. PLEASE. Don't talk about it any more, please, Law, not - Sanji, please don't mention that we'd talked about this to you to your papa, because Zeff will kill us all," Corazon then pleaded, looking at the boy with genuine fright. "He probably won't let you come over, anymore."

With some reluctance, Sanji shrugged. "Okay."

"How on earth did you even start talking about this, anyway?" Corazon demanded of Law, looking at him with a frown.

"Darcy Rue," Sanji answered quickly. "She said some things to Law, and he said that he and Doffy were the type to buy women, anyway."

"Shut up, you little brat! Don't tell him things like that!"

Corazon just sank down on the couch with mortification, cigarette to his mouth. He shook his head, lips tight. "I can't believe Doffy – Law, don't listen to him! Half the shit he says is not even true! You will not be buying women when you're older! Sanji! Don't take the things Law says seriously!"

"Is this a really bad thing, Mr Cora?" Sanji asked curiously. "Buying women is a bad thing?"

"Yes, it is. It is a very bad thing."

"Is it a crime?"

"YES!"

"Why would we have to, anyway?" Law asked curiously, Corazon's face reddening slightly. "To talk to them, because they don't talk to us?"

"I…go finish cleaning your room, we'll talk about it later."

"Why can't you talk about it in front of me?" Sanji asked with a suspicious expression.

Corazon began to sweat. "It's not…it's not for young children – it's not an appropriate topic."

"Law's a kid!"

"I'm thirteen! I am actually almost a teenager."

"I'm going to learn anyway! If I ask Papa – "

"Don't talk about this topic to your papa! He'll be so angry at us – at me, at Law – it's not an appropriate topic for children. Look, if you can keep a secret…"

"Cross my heart and hope to die!" Sanji declared, Law venturing out of his room with his trash bag once he saw that Corazon was weakening over being pressed for an answer. His sweaty forehead and jittery hands suggested that this was an intense topic.

"Basically, you are buying a woman's friendship for the night," Corazon explained shakily, red-faced as he realized how far he was stepping into a forbidden zone.

Sanji made a face. "I'm paying a lady to give me her friendship? That's the whole entire thing?"

"Yes. Only adults can do it, though."

"Why? How come I can't?"

"Because they can only talk about adult things."

Sanji leaned against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling with a thoughtful expression. Law stared at Corazon for several moments, looking for a secret answer, but the man looked like he was preparing to dig his own grave.

Corazon reached out and snagged Sanji's chin within one hand, forcing the boy to look at him. "Do not mention this conversation to anyone. Do not attempt to buy a lady's 'friendship'. Do not talk to Zeff about it, because then you and Law can't be friends, anymore. Is this clear?"

"I don't understand!" Sanji complained, rolling over the back of the couch and into the cushions, resting his head atop of his thigh. "Why is it a secret if you just want to be friends with a lady for a night?"

"OH!" Law exclaimed, looking mortified after a few moments. "Oh!"

"SHHHH!" Corazon hissed, finger to his lips.

Law said, "Sanji, never mind about this stupid subject. Remember how you want a wife after school?"

"Yeah…?" Sanji said slowly, disappointed that Law knew the correct answer before he did.

"Well, you can't get that from a prostitute. They only want your money, and not the house, or kids or dog. They don't even like the dog idea. They don't even like you. It's like renting a movie that you don't even like, and wanting your money back."

Understanding hit Sanji at that moment, and he righted himself on the edge of the couch, and finally stood up. He looked vaguely disappointed.

Law crossed his arms with a huff, continuing with, "Besides, it's better if you find a wife on accident, not paying for her like a checklist, because there's…there's no romance in a checklist. You're all about surprises, right?"

"Oh! You're right! I love surprises," Sanji said to Corazon, who only gave him a cheerful smile. "Well, I'm going to go home. Good night!"

"Stupid kid. Why am I friends with him?" Law muttered after Sanji left, Corazon exhaling heavily with relief. "Cora. A prostitute is someone that gets paid for sex, right?"

"Yes. Never speak of it, again."

"Ugh. Doffy's probably right, anyway," he said with a frown. "I can't talk to anybody. Girls hate me."

"They don't hate you, they just don't know what to say to you because you're so handsome!"

"Shut up! No I'm not! Anyway, I don't think of them the way that idiot, does. I just think that when I get older, maybe my point of view will change. It's not important, right now."

"It's not, because you're just a kid. It happens to us eventually, Law. You can't force people to like you or think differently of you. What's important is the true people in your life, and how they feel about you."

"Stupid."

"Did you get rejected, today?" Corazon asked with concern, wondering who'd reject his sullen baby when he clearly tried so hard to win the approval of others.

"GAH! I don't want to talk about that sort of thing! It's none of your business! And it's not rejection if I wasn't asking for her attention, anyway!" Law snarled at him, red faced and shaking his trash bag at Corazon. "Don't ask me again! I need to finish cleaning my room! Leave me alone!"

Corazon made a pouty face as the boy slammed his door shut behind him. He smoked sullenly, figuring he'd just ask Sanji about it later on. It hurt his heart to hear what Law had to say, but he was young. There was still time for things to change, and for him to experience the best of what the world had to offer.

: :

The next day, Doflamingo winced as Corazon slapped him upside the head as soon as he stepped into the apartment, suitcases bumping into various things along the way.

"You idiot! Why are you talking about things like prostitution in front of the kids?" Corazon asked immediately, glaring at his older brother.

"OW. Oh, well…I don't remember. And is this how I'm greeted upon my return? With accusations and slander? First, I miss my flight, then I piss off the bakery, then I realized I left my ID in another state – then it was the middle seat for four hours to Milwaukee - "

"You don't talk about adult things in front of impressionable minds!"

"I - ! I had no idea anybody even listened to me in this household!" Doflamingo exclaimed, running a hand through his blond hair with agitation. At that moment, Corazon crossed his arms tightly over his chest, glaring up at him. "Anyway, so, regarding the bakery, I think it'd be good for Law to – "

"NO."

"But they're taking in kids, so if we submit an application –"

"NO!"

"But he's dark and ruthless and tortured right now, so by the time he's an adult - !"

"I SAID NO."

"But every boy grows up wishing he were an assass - !"

"NO, DOFFY! NO!"

Doflamingo frowned at his brother. Corazon had put his foot down, and his steely expression told him he was not going to get anywhere with him.

Before anything else could be said, Law's door to his room opened, and Sanji raced out – both of them were still in their school uniform, and Doflamingo looked at Law with disapproval.

Clearly, the kid had forgotten their talk about him hanging out with a much younger boy, encouraging gossip amongst the tenants.

"Mr Flamingo - !"

"Doffy - !"

"Mr Flamingo, Law said that you said the reason why you wear little clothes is because you're - !"

"It's not true! Don't listen to him!"

Roughly, Doflamingo separated them both so he could glare down at them equally. "ENOUGH OF THIS! I had a long day. I lost at the horse races, I lost at life, and I come home to slaps and shouts, and it's like – everyone just needs to stop what they're doing. You all need to let me do my thing. I need space. I will leave again."

"Mr Flamingo, is it true that the reason why people think you're intimidating is because you're a - ?"

Law slapped a hand over Sanji's mouth. "STOP! Get out of my home! Go play out in the parking lot and die!"

"Whatever you're going to ask, it's not true," Doflamingo said sternly. Law frowned up at him with clear exasperation, Sanji's expression changing to something wide-eyed and horrified. "Wait. What'd you hear? Don't listen to him. LAW! Are you spreading rumors to your one friend about me, again? This is an impressionable mind you're trying to corrupt, and while I admire you for it, now's not the time. Go to your room. Think about your actions."

But he leaned down to whisper, "Good job manipulating your minions while they're young. That way, they're willing to be human shields without question - "

Corazon hit him again, almost causing his glasses to fall from his face.

"Told you!" Sanji said to Law, pushing him, causing the older kid to push him back.

Corazon gently pushed the kids aside as they wrestled, slamming off of furniture, shouting over each other on their way to the front door. Then he turned to Doflamingo with a glare.

"Isn't it odd how I missed the sound of kids playing?" Doflamingo said, grinning. "Like happy music to the ears – Fine. Look, all I said that day, that could've been suspect, was that my personality and his personality were alike, and that we were Team Single for life. And if I ever wanted a woman's company, I'd have to pay for it, because there's no way any woman would want to involve themselves with someone as sexy as me. I'm much too dangerous for them to come to me willingly. And I told him the only way girls would talk to him is if he paid for their services. Because he's a little shit, and no one likes him."

Corazon lit his cigarette. "Wow. To a thirteen year old. You're saying this shit to a thirteen year old."

"If we want him to grow up equal to us - !" Doflamingo started to say when his brother cut him off with a hard gesture.

"That's the entire point! We don't!" Corazon exclaimed.

"OWIE!" Sanji screamed in the background, something shattering on the kitchen floor.

Doflamingo growled, growing irritated at his brother's lecturing. "Could you text me that memo, next time? The next time you have something significant to say or teach the little bastard, could you give me a little warning?"

"You don't talk that sort of thing around kids," Corazon stressed, gesturing at the boys with his cigarette in hand. "You don't tell a thirteen year old that his only option with women are goddamn prostitutes. DOFFY."

"I'm going to fart on you so hard, all your hair will fall out!" they heard Law snarl.

Doflamingo then shrugged. "I'm preparing him, what can I say? Life is cruel. Life is especially cruel to men like us, men that Law can be, if he'd just let it – so we have to do what we have to do in order to get any love and affection - "

"NOT TRUE!"

"STOP!" Sanji screamed.

"I can't believe you!" Corazon exclaimed, hands in his hair, burning several strands with his cigarette.

"LAW! GIRLY BOY! Front and center! NOW!" Doflamingo bellowed, causing both kids to untangle from each other. "I understand that some things happened, that I might've said some inappropriate things in front of you. I totally don't apologize for it. if you can't handle the reality of your life, then it's your own damn fault! Trust your own goddamn instincts and your own judgment, and not those of others! I didn't get this far in life being obedient, I can tell you that, so - !"

Corazon kicked him, then shoved him towards the main hall so he could go put his things away. "You ass!"

Doflamingo dropped his suitcase, then jerked him onto the floor. Law and Sanji watched as they wrestled, kicking and punching at each other, cursing and insulting until Doflamingo pinned Corazon onto the floor, working spit up in his mouth.

"Let's go outside," Law told Sanji, Sanji watching Corazon shriek with horror underneath Doflamingo's grasp, a long line of spit dangling from his lips. "This is so embarrassing."

"I still never got to ask if - !"

"You don't need to know!"

But as soon as Sanji stepped out, Law shut and locked the door behind him. Sanji kicked and yelled, but went home anyway, so Law turned and waited for the brothers to separate. Corazon wiped his face with a horrified expression, and Doflamingo stood up and looked at him.

"I thought I told you not to be hanging out that kid. It's inspiring certain talk amongst our neighbors."

"I heard you, but it's like I don't listen to you. It's a strange thing."

"You little shit - !"

"And, besides, you just finished telling me that I shouldn't listen to anyone but myself because you didn't get this far in life being obedient to others."

Doflamingo stared at him for several seconds, while Law stared at him back, understanding that he won this round. Saying nothing, Doflamingo snatched up his suitcases, then stomped towards his room. Law grinned, looking at Corazon, who couldn't help but be proud of him.

: :

After school the next day, Sanji was seated near the rock wall with Law's after school snack in hand. He saw Darcy Rue running up the walkway, looking upset. When she caught sight of Sanji looking at her, she glared at him.

A few minutes later, Law walked up to him, lowering his Mountain Dew to his side. "Did that girl just come through here?"

"Yes. She looked upset."

"Good. Because I told her that for her transgression the other day, she'll now endure 365 days of verbal pain. If my mouth has to suffer because of these wretched braces, she'll now suffer whatever I dish out."

Sanji frowned impatiently at him. "That's not how you get a girlfriend, Law."

"I don't want one. Besides," Law said, taking the cubed apple pieces and pears drizzled with fruit sauce, to be washed down with sparkling water, "I'm Team Single. I don't need anybody. It's going to be me, myself and I though life."

"What about me?"

"What about you?"

"Where am I, in between 'me, myself and I'?"

"You're my slave. You and your wife. And Momo. And all your kids."

Sanji shrugged. It sounded like a pretty good deal to him. Job security, and all.