It's really out of character, Maxxie realises upon taking a few moments to review his situation. It's not anything he would've considered before (he's not even sure why he's considering it now) and when he looks at the whole picture, he can't help but admit that it's just not him.
It's not as if he isn't enjoying himself. Tony's great to be around when he's not being a total prick. The sex isn't exactly lacking either. But that's just it. Sex. That's all there is to it. Maxxie isn't even sure if he can call it a relationship; it sure as hell isn't not what he imagines a relationship to be like. At the very least, it's not what he's ever wanted a relationship to be like. And while he'll happily admit that sex is pretty much amazing, it's just not enough.
Telling Tony is easier than he thought it would be.
"What?" he scoffs. "Like what I had with Nips?"
It's not a lot, but it's better than the flat-out rejection that he'd been expecting.
"Something like that," Maxxie replies. Then he remembers that the first time Tony sucked him off was back when he'd been dating her, so he rectifies, "Well, not really. I was hoping for something more...uh...monogamous."
Tony frowns and Maxxie wants to hit himself. He was kidding himself to think that Tony would understand the meaning of the word, let alone agree to act upon it.
"You want the feelings and shit."
Well, that's not how he would have worded it, but he nods anyway. It's close enough.
"...like Nips wanted."
And because that's exactly how he would've worded it, he nods again.
"You always make things so fucking complicated," Tony snaps, snatching the cigarette tangling from Maxxie's shaking fingers. He closes his eyes as he takes a long drag. "Nothing wrong with what we're doing now."
Maxxie wants to ask if there's anything wrong with being monogamous, but he keeps his mouth shut. The look on Tony's face tells him that there's more coming.
"Besides," Tony predictably continues, "monogamy's a load of bullshit, innit? Look at Cassie and Sid. They do that crap and they're the most fucked up couple I've ever met."
At this, Maxxie raises his eyebrows. Because while he'll happily admit that separately, Cassie and Sid are a little fucked up, he doesn't think they're all that bad as a couple. They're almost sweet, actually. Anyway, he'd prefer what they've got over whatever it is he's doing with Tony.
"And we're not like them. We don't need that shit." Tony looks over at Maxxie, his frown more pronounced than ever. "You don't need that shit, right?"
Yes, Maxxie wants to say. Yes, I need that shit and I want it with you.
Tony groans at the look on Maxxie's face and lets the back of his head hit the brick wall he's slouched against. "Christ, Maxxie. Why'd you want to fuck this up? We've got a good thing going, right here."
"Well, it's not really a thing, is it?" Maxxie manages to choke out. "It's just sex."
"It's obviously not just sex if it's got you spouting all this crap."
"What?"
If he's heard correctly (and clearly he hasn't), it'd almost sounded like Tony has just admitted that what they're doing is more than sex. What that means, Maxxie's not sure. But he's willing to bet it's a damn sight better than the "Fuck off" he's been dreading (and expecting) to hear since the beginning of this ridiculous conversation.
"It means something to you," Tony speaks slowly and carefully, as if Maxxie has suddenly morphed into a dimwitted child. "The sex. That's why you're asking me to be your boyfriend right now."
"I am not!" Maxxie retorts indignantly. It's true. He hasn't said anything of the sort. He doesn't have the guts to.
Tony chuckles, blowing a ring of smoke in Maxxie's direction. "Right. Sorry. You're asking for monogamy."
"You make it sound so absurd," Maxxie snaps, feeling more than a little wounded at Tony's condescending tone. "What's wrong with wanting a proper relationship? So what if quickies during break aren't doing it for me anymore? What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing," Tony replies with a shrug. "But you're asking me."
"Yes."
Tony flicks the cigarette to the ground, unceremoniously stubbing it out with his heel. "You're asking me for monogamy. Me."
Yes, Maxxie wants to scream. You're making me feel like an complete twat for doing so, but yes.
Tony's eyes are skimming over him. It's almost as if he's waiting for Maxxie to run away or start shaking with fake laughter and try to turn back on his words. His frown is still present, but more than anything, he just looks confused.
"I still think monogamy's shit," he eventually says, dragging his eyes back up to meet Maxxie's. "But all right. We can give it whirl."
"What?"
Maxxie isn't used to being so inarticulate. Then again, he isn't used to Tony agreeing to monogamy either. He stares for a while, figuring that there's a catch. Tony can't possibly want monogamy. It's just not Tony.
Tony rolls his eyes, not bothering to repeat what he's just said. Instead, he gives Maxxie a withering once over. He also gives Maxxie a final out. "You're fucking up a good thing, mate."
It's probably true. Knowing Tony, he'll probably be heartbroken before the week's out. But now at least he can pretend that they're a proper couple. He can pretend that Tony is willing to try make his actions fit his words. He can pretend that they're everything he's ever wanted and that they're almost as sweet as Cassie and Sid.
If he's really lucky, he won't have to pretend.
And so, he shakes his head.
He might be fucking up a good thing, but he reckons it's worth it if it turns into an ever better one.