Okay, so I didn't even begin writing this until about two days before Christmas. And well, it seemed wrong to work on it on the holiday, and I was busy enjoying my new laptop after, so I never really got around to it. (not to mention the great, I-might-of-accidentally-gotten-locked-out-of-my-new-computer incident) Anyway, please read and I hope you enjoy!
Christmas
"Dear Santa," Hollyleaf read aloud as she scribbled words on a piece of paper. "This is the second time I've written to you, since it's only been my second Christmas. I was planning to wish for a tree again, particularly a cotton tree, which remains missing from my vast collection. But instead I've decided to wish for something a little more personal. Revenge. If you could please kill Ashfur this year, that would be great. Love, Hollyleaf."
She paused a second, thinking, then added. "P.S. Sorry for last year. I promise my grandpaw won't attack you again. Me and my brothers will tie him down. So don't be a wuss and skip out on our place."
She hesitated, and added even more. "P.P.S. After you slaughter Ashfur, you can still give me a tree if you want. Oh, and Fuffy wants something inedible to eat for Christmas."
Satisfied, she folded the paper and stuck it in an envelope.
"I've been good this year, right Fluffy?" Hollyleaf stroked her bunny, as she wrote the address on the letter. Fluffy ate a napkin in reply.
...
In dream world...
...
"Hey! Hey Ashfur! Ashfur! Hey! Hey! Ashfur!" Jayfeather poked the tom.
"Shut up already!" The warrior snapped. "Stop haunting me in my dreams!"
"But, but Ashfur! There's unicorns!" Jayfeather gave an evil grin. After all he knew was Ashfur was dreaming. He knew what everyone was dreaming. He always did.
"STOP TALKING!" Ashfur screamed, startling several unicorns in the rainbow fields.
Jayfeather hushed, putting on his most so-not-innocent face.
Ashfur gave a relieved sigh. "Finally..."
"Hey! What's finally? Hey, hey! Why don't you tell me? Hey Ashfur! Come on, say something! Hey! Hey Ashfur!" Jayfeather started up again, grinning madly.
"Shoot me now..." Ashfur groaned.
...
By the entrance of camp...
...
Spiderleg sipped his coffee, browsing through the newspaper in his paws. He was on guard duty, sitting on a chair by the entrance to camp. Suddenly, the protective brambles shuttered, and a grey shape blurred past, smashing into him and splashing coffee everywhere.
"Spiderman! You gotta help me!" Ashfur gasped, eyes wide with terror.
"Don't call me that, and what's up?" Spiderleg grumbled, looking at the coffee stains in his fur.
"Jayfeather! He won't leave me alone! All day and all night! There's no escape!" Ashfur practically screamed. Then his eyes darted behind him. "AGH! HE'S COMING!"
"Agh?" Spiderleg mumbled, watching Ashfur run away.
Then Jayfeather trotted through the entrance, perfectly calm and happy. "Hey, Spiderman!"
"Hi... what did you do to Ashfur?" Spiderleg asked cautiously.
"N-o-thing!" Jayfeather smiled. "Just showing how annoy-oy-ing I can be-e!"
"Oooookay." Spiderleg leaned away. "I guess I'll be seeing you then..."
"S-e-e you!" Jayfeather skipped away, scarily happy.
"Maybe I've been working over time." Spiderleg grumbled to himself, once the medicine cat was gone.
...
Somewhere in camp...
...
"A little higher... no... a little lower... more to the right..." Cinderheart instructed, watching Lionblaze hang Christmas decorations. "Oh! Avoid that tree!"
"Stupid Hollyleaf and displaying her stupid pine trees." Lionblaze hissed, as he shuffled through the branches, hanging lights.
"I think they're nice." Cinderheart whispered kindly. "And you're decor is making them nicer."
"Me and loosing bets..." Lionblaze complained.
"A bet?" Cinderheart asked. "What bet?"
"Between me and Jayfeather. To see who was better at Halo. I thought I'd improved." Lionblaze winced.
"Oh. But you at least managed to kill him a few times, right?" Cinderheart murmured.
Lionblaze hesitated, making an expression somewhere between guilty, disgusted, and plain annoyed. "I'd prefer not to answer that."
...
In the North Pole...
...
Santa Claws sipped his coffee, glancing carelessly at a letter he chose randomly. Suddenly, the door banged open, and an elf-cat ran in. "Santa! Santa! You gotta read this!"
"What? Why?" He huffed. "That's your job."
"Yeah but the elf-cats don't know what to do with this one!" The elf-cat complained, handing Santa the note.
He glanced over it, muttering words at random. "Second time... Second Christmas... Would like a tree... make that a cotton tree... But want something more personal... Revenge? Kids these days... And uh, kill Ashfur... Still wants a tree... And get something for Fluffy." He looked back up at the elf-cat. "I don't see what the problem is."
The elf-cat let out an annoyed sigh. "I'm asking how we're suppose to kill Ashfur!"
"Oh, that? I'll just run him over with my sleigh on the way there. No biggie." Santa waved him off.
"Oooookay. If you say so." The elf-cat slowly backed away.
...
Meanwhile, on the lake...
...
"Carollers, attention!" Firestar shouted.
Behind him, almost the entire clan lined up in neat rows, a determined look on their faces. They were standing on the frozen lake, facing off against none other than, you guessed it, ShadowClan.
"We will not loose to you again, Blackstar!" Firestar bellowed, knowing he had an army behind him. "This is war!"
"We'll see about that!" Blackstar hissed. "ShadowClan, ATTACK!"
The two clans charged at each other, snarling, claws unsheathed. Suddenly everyone froze, mid leap, as a grey blur streaked by, screaming. Ashfur ran right between the two armies, not even taking notice. Everyone stared as he barrelled across the lake, a trail of smoke rising in his wake.
Only a few seconds later, Jayfeather came skipping by, oblivious to everyone as well. "Hey, Ashfur! Why you running? Hey! Hey, Ashfur! What's the matter? Hey! Heeeey! Ashfur! What's wrong?"
The two vanished into the distance, leaving the two clans to only look on. Then, as if given a silent command, unfroze, charging forward once again.
They collided. Splitting into pairs before starting to scream random Christmas songs in each other's faces. There was a lot of "JINGLE BELLS!" and "HE SEES YOU WHEN YOU'RE SLEEPING!" and "FROSTY THE SNOWMAN!"
They didn't aim for pretty. This was war after all. The out of tune screams and screeches made flocks of birds flee from the territories. Finally, everyone collapsed, out of breath.
The casualties were many, and unfortunately ThunderClan lost, before the sheer strength of the ShadowClan carollers.
...
Back at camp...
...
"Mwuhahaha!" Bellowed Bob (Firestar's cousin, for those of you who can't remember).
Everyone screamed for no apparent reason, adding to the effect. They ran around camp in utter chaos, knocking over Christmas trees and destroying everything in close range.
The reason? Bob ruled all. Firestar had declared this donut day, and then ran away. In turn, he put Bob in charge. That lead to Bob stealing all the presents, and forming them into a sort of mound in the middle of camp, resembling the bone pile RiverClan once had, back in the good old days.
"Ha ha ha!" Bob laughed. "I will forever rule!"
Everyone screamed. Again.
"Oi, Flame Boy, get down here!" Whitewind called from the bottom of the present pile.
"Why?" Bob mocked.
"Cause I challenge you!" Whitewind growled.
"Ooooooh!" Instantly, a crowd gathered, chanting "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"
Bob glanced at the she-cat, knowing he couldn't refuse. "What do you have in mind?"
...
Five minutes later...
...
"Dang it! Get back here!" Bob snarled, tilting his Wii controller.
Whitewind grinned. "Face it, Flame boy. You'll never win against me in Mario Cart!"
"No! Never! I will- I will win!" Bob bellowed, rapidly pressing buttons on the controller.
Beep. Beep. Bloop.
"Did you just die?" Cackled Whitewing.
Bob didn't answer.
...
That night...
...
Ashfur ran. But no matter where he went, Jayfeather was always there. Always, always, always, always, always...
Then there was a red blur, streaking through the woods, straight towards him. It looked to be pulled by horned furry creatures; Reinbunnies. He didn't even have time to process this, before it ran over him.
...
"Did we get him?" Santa called.
"Aye, Captain." The small elf-cat mumbled, looking behind the sleigh. "I think you nailed him."
"Ah ho ho ho! It's been too long since I've had such fun!" Santa bellowed. "We'll have to take requests like this more often!"
"Yeah..." The elf-cat muttered.
...
Jayfeather skidded to a stop, looking at Ashfur's lifeless body, which had tire marks on it, from getting run over.
"Oh no..." He mumbled. "You're not getting away from me that easily."
...
In StarClan...
...
"Ugh, finally. Peace and quiet." Ashfur whispered, sinking into the soft grass.
"Umm... you just died. Shouldn't you be worried or concerned or at least less relaxed?" Yellowfang asked.
"Yeah, no. After how much Jayfeather kept bugging me? This is better than I could ever hope for." Ashfur sighed.
Yellowfang winced. "Umm, yeah, about that. You see, Jayfeather can-"
"HEY ASHFUR! HEY! HEY ASHFUR! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ASHFUR? HEY! ASHFUR, HEY! WHATCHA DOING? HEY ASHFUR!" Jayfeather materialized beside them, grinning like a mad cat.
"Yeah... that." Yellowfang finished.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Ashfur shrieked, taking off across the endless territory of StarClan.
...
And so, that morning...
...
Jayfeather left his bedroom, and strolled into the living room, which looked like the Christmas fairy had puked all over. "Hey guys." He greeted his parents and siblings.
"Morning." Lionblaze waved him over. "Sleep well?"
Jayfeather grinned. "Better than you could ever imagine."
"Painappuru o shitaidesu ka?" Squirrelflight asked.
"Nah, I'm good." Jayfeather answered, sitting down on the sofa.
"Present time!" Brambleclaw shouted, more excited than any of them.
"Okay dokey!" Hollyleaf handed each of them their present from Santa Claws.
In five seconds flat, the wrapping was torn away, faster than anyone could see.
"TREE!" Was all that came from Hollyleaf.
"TURKEY!" Shouted Brambleclaw, smelling it before he even opened it. He stuffed the entire thing in his mouth, wrapping and all.
Squirrelflight started saying several different things, all of which were too fast to be understood. In the end she pulled out a puppy, which barked, before begging to chase Fluffy around the house.
"Santa gave a cat a dog," Jayfeather muttered. "Nice.
"I got sunglasses," Lionblaze announced. "Brother, what'd you get?"
"The remote control exploding mouse I wanted." Jayfeather answered. "By the way, do you think Santa's teasing you?"
"No why?" Lionblaze asked.
"Lionblaze. Sunglasses. No? Never mind."
...
In Firestar's den...
...
"Honey, please don't cry." Sandstorm pleaded, wearing her new cooking apron.
"But, Santa... he gave me..." Firestar chocked, holding up a stocking full of coal, and a note that read: Sucks for you!
"Well, you did attack him last year..." Sandstorm ventured.
"I didn't mean to!" Firestar protested. "It was an accident!"
"Sure it was..." Sandstorm murmured.
...
"Now that's just cruel." Spiderleg muttered, looking at the special edition Spiderman comic book Santa gave him. "I keep telling him I like Batman."
...
In ShadowClan...
...
"No... way..." Blackstar stared at the special, one-of-a-kind my little pony doll he got. "OH MY MOUSE! OH MY MOUSE! OH MY MOUSE!"
In a flash, the entire clan had gathered, staring in awe and jealousy at the pony. "I got a death ray..." Tawnypelt muttered. "If anyone cares..."
...
In WindClan...
...
"Soooooo... anyone wanna race?" Onestar asked. Everyone looked at their brand new scooters. Most were too busy trying to figure out if Santa was making fun of them.
...
In RiverClan...
...
Everyone sat at the edge of the river, trying out their new fishing poles. "I don't know..." Mistyfoot murmured. "This somehow doesn't feel right."
...
In the Tribe of Rushing Water...
...
The whole tribe cowered in fear, as the robot they named Fred-2, roamed around, spouting random threats like "#%&^456%%&!)$#" Which in a rough translation, meant go jump off a cliff.
...
And last of all, in BloodClan
...
"No. Bloody. Way!" Scourge held up his new dart gun. "Sweet! Now how do you fire this?" He accidently pulled the trigger.
BAM!
"Oh... Sorry, Bone." He smiled. "Umm... you won't kill me, right? I'm leader after all. Heh... heh heh."
...
Meanwhile, in the North Pole...
...
"Sir? Are you feeling okay?" An elf-cat whimpered.
"Why, never better!" Bellowed Santa Claws. "Why do you ask?"
"Umm... it's just that you've been kinda mean this Christmas... and you did kill someone..." The elf-cat whispered.
"Ha! I was just having some fun! Tell me, did they figure out it was me yet?" Santa questioned, a twinkle in his eye.
"No sir, not yet." The elf-cat murmured. "They still haven't found the body."
"Good. If anyone asks, frame it on the Easter Bunny." Santa smiled, "Got it?"
"Yes sir." The elf-cat whispered, and left the room.
"Ho, ho, ho." Santa stroked his beard. "My, what an interesting year this will be..."
Squirrelflight translation; "Want a pineapple?"
Okay, so this is only a wee bit late. I apologize. Anyway, because this took me so long, I'm afraid the next chapter might be a bit delayed as well, but I'll post it... uh... within the window of New Year. Anyway, hope you like it just as much as the first one. I can't wait for a whole nother year of holidays, warrior cats style!
And just a reminder, the vote for which day the Birthday chapter should be posted on has now started. Please vote by reviewing. First come first serve.
Next Chapter-
Coming New Years
(probably)