"I'm hungry," Ed complained, trying not to whine.
"We're all hungry, kid," Greed said. "There's just not a hell of a lot we can do about it right now."
Ed looked into the small fire they'd built. It was starting to be cold, and he hated the cold. His ports ached, and his side ached, and none of it did anything to distract him from the gnawing hunger in his belly. "Do you even have to eat?" Ed snapped. It wasn't fair that the homunculus was so calm about this. Ling would have sympathized, at least. Actually, maybe that was why Ling hadn't appeared in a while- he'd probably passed out from hunger in Greed's head.
"There's have to and want to, kid," Greed said, leaning back. "I'm not exactly going to die of starvation, you know." He grinned, and his voice went low. "But I'm Greed the Avaricious. I want the best of everything- the tenderest cuts of meat, the sweetest fruits, the ripest vegetables."
Ed's stomach growled. "I might die of hunger," he said, glumly. "What do you think the automail runs on?" he pointed out. He didn't mention that he was eating for his brother, too. Greed would just think it was funny. "I have to eat more than people think I do."
"Darius and Heinkel will be back soon," Greed said, shrugging. "They'll probably have something."
But they didn't. "Town's crawling with soldiers," Darius said. "We'll have to move on to the next town to look for food."
"I tried to go hunting," Heinkel added, "But my animal instincts aren't all that helpful with small game. If we could find a deer or something we'd be fine. But all I see are rabbits, and they're too small. They get away from us."
Ed wasn't at all sure he was going to make it to the next town without a decent meal. It'd been days already. But- "Rabbits?" he said. "I can get us some meat."
Greed laughed. "No offense, kid," he said. "But you really think you can bring something down when the chimeras couldn't? They're the useful ones; I just keep you around for comic relief."
Ed was well into his screaming rant when he realized that Greed was needling him on purpose. He wound down, glaring at the still-laughing homunculus. "Fine," Greed said, wiping his eyes. "If you think you can get us some meat, go crazy, kid."
"Hey, Lion Guy," Ed said. "Come with me."
"My name's Heinkel," he insisted, glaring at Ed.
"Whatever," Ed said airily.
"Give me your coat," Ed told Heinkel, holding a hand out.
"Like hell," Heinkel said, holding his coat closer.
"C'mon," Ed argued. "I need some wire. I'm just going to transmute the buttons. I'll put them back when we're done."
"Hell no," Heinkel said, more emphatically. "Even if I get them back, you'll put skulls or dragons or something on them." He looked thoughtful for a moment. "But if metal's what you need-"
He led Ed to a broken-down bit of fence he'd seen on their earlier trip out. Ed shrugged. "I guess this'll work too," he said "If you're going to be prissy about the buttons." A clap of his hands later, and he had wire and string. He knelt on the ground and began assembling snares carefully.
Heinkel watched him with interest as he made them, twisting and looping wire. "Where'd you learn to do that, kid?" he asked. "I wouldn't have figured you as the outdoorsy type."
Ed laughed. "Alchemy training," he said, dryly. "My teacher stranded me and my brother on an island for a month, with only a knife. We had to figure things out. Now," he said, looking his work over, "we have to set the traps. This is where you come in, Lion Guy."
He sighed. "Heinkel," he corrected futilely.
"Whatever," Ed said. "We have to put the traps in places the rabbits are going to go. We could look for tracks, but you've got your sense of smell, and that'll work better. You point me to a place where lots of rabbits have been running, and I'll set the traps." He tossed the snares over a shoulder, and indicated that Heinkel should lead the way.
Heinkel shifted into his animal shape a little self-consciously. He almost wished the kid would be unnerved by it. It was creepy the way that he acted like it was normal.
"Your teacher really just left you on an island?" Heinkel asked, trying to make conversation. He looked down suddenly at tiny Fullmetal, who'd been in the military for years, and frowned. "How old were you?"
"Nine," Ed said, shrugging. "We ended up eating ants at one point. Man, I'm almost hungry enough to do it again if we found some. They're not as bad as you'd think, actually. Crunchy and kind of sour."
Heinkel shook his head. "No thanks!" he said. He sniffed. "Hey- I think I got a trail."
Ed followed along it, considering carefully. Finally, he picked a spot and set the snare. "This is the narrowest part of the trail," he explained. "The rabbit has to go through here, and then- dinner."
They repeated this until all the traps were set. Ed stretched. "Now we just find someplace to relax for a few hours." Ed found an out of the way place, clapped, and made them a shelter.
Heinkel settled himself in, crossing his arms. "This isn't as exciting as hunting usually is," he observed.
Ed snorted. "It's a lot less work," he pointed out. "And your way didn't get us any meat." The kid pulled his coat around him, and Heinkel could tell by the way he was curled up that he was hurting.
"That wound giving you much trouble these days?" Heinkel asked, nodding to Ed's chest.
"Nah," Ed said, shrugging. "My biggest problem right now is that I need some damn food."
He was probably lying, but Heinkel wasn't going to press him. "Some food would be good," he agreed.
They were quiet for a while, then. Ed seemed lost in thought, and Heinkel was just as happy to let him think. It was rare that the kid was quiet; he always seemed to be yelling about something. It was amazing that the military hadn't found them yet from the noise alone. Eventually, Heinkel realized that Ed was sleeping. He'd curled into a tight ball against the cold, and his face was screwed up in pain.
Heinkel sighed, and moved next to Ed. He pulled his coat off, and draped it around the both of them. He shook his head. The damn kid couldn't even remember his name, and somehow Heinkel still felt loyal to him. It probably had something to do with having saved the kid's life. Heinkel felt responsible for him now.
Ed sauntered back into camp with a brace of rabbits over his shoulder. Heinkel followed behind him with the air of a man whose patience has been greatly tried.
"Meat," Ed announced, grinning.
"Hey," Greed said. "Nice going, kid! Guess I'm keeping you around after all."
"Shut up and build a fire," Ed said, grinning.
A/N: Written for the October FMA Gift Exchange. Bob_Fish asked for something relating to the Camping Trip of Doom, and this is what I came up with.
By the way, ants really are sour if you eat them. It's the formic acid. This is why chocolate-covered ants are a thing.