Disclaimer: I own nothing… so pfftt go sue someone else… like Lyssa… I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

AN: I was unable to sleep last night cause of the annoying plot bunnies soooo I wrote this…I wasn't going to post it but then Lyssa told me too 'cough'threatened'cough' and so here it is a little drabble. Interpret as you will.

Edited: 01/04/08 or 04/01/08 (Also, this will become a story later on when I have the time)

Hugs and Kisses

BlackEyedWicca

Beautiful Lies

We locked eyes across the training grounds and in that moment I knew, I knew without words what I had been asked.

Nodding my head slightly, I watched him look away. I didn't have to ask to know that the message had been received and for that I hated myself a little more.

I hated myself for giving in, for wanting it, but most of all; I hated myself for suggesting it.

It was a bitter cycle, each time I would tell myself it was the last, but then in one glance I was crumbling under his will.

No matter how much it hurt, I continued.

Why?

Because it was the closest thing I would ever get to what I wanted, and in that sense, we were the same. Each wanting what we couldn't have… but wait, that was inaccurate. He could have what he wanted if he kept hinting the way he was, that is.

The person he loved wanted him back, at least on some level… mine didn't.

So why didn't I hate them?

Why didn't I try and break them apart? Because I loved one of them, and to do that would hurt him.

He may be a cold, spiteful asshole… but not when it came to his heart.

So instead, I hurt myself… not with knives or drugs but with emotions. I hurt myself every time I gave in.

Every time he asked, I came. Like a fucking puppy dog to his master, I came... but I couldn't say no to him.

He wouldn't even have to ask anymore and I'd give into him. I felt like a whore… I never felt clean afterwards.

I was cheating, I was lying and I was selling myself for one shred of contact with him.

I gave everything I could to him, learned every pleasurable mark on his body and knew exactly when to tease and when to finish. Nothing was good enough though.

He'd cry out a name, a name that wasn't mine, and it killed me.

I loved him… and he knew it, he used it and… I didn't care.

He was my everything and I was his nothing, god I just wanted to be his something… and in a way, I was.

I was his way to let go for a while. I was his fuck toy, the person he used in order to imagine that his beloved was there.

So who really wins in the end? Nobody does, not now at least. It was Russian Roulette, only the game was fixed.

I'd get the lethal shot, I was sure of that.

I wish it wouldn't happen, but I know that one day, I'll get kicked to the gutter and Sasuke will finally get the guy he wants.

So if my future's set, why do I keep playing?

Because no matter how much closer the trigger clicks, I'll still get a few more moments with him, even if they're just lies.

AN: Don't try and ask me where that came from 'cause I have no idea. I hoped you liked it though…I kinda do lol. And ummm yeah. It can be taken from Naruto's POV or from one of the other Konoha ninjas… it's really up to you. I saw it from Naruto's pov… but as I said up to you… lol. Anyways… reviews are love xD And maybe now Lyssa will get off my back.

Luv

BlackEyedWicca