The lab was unusually quiet, but it would be since no one was in it. No one that is, except one cranky doctor and his best and only friend. James Wilson had better things to do that talking to his friend Gregory House, but their boss, Doctor Cuddy, had threatened his job. That didn't really leave him much of a choice.

"What are you doing?" It was always best to start out slow with House.

"Testing this blood for red cell count," House muttered back without looking up.

"Why?" In Wilson's eyes, that made no since at all.

"It may or may not rule out leukemia for my patient." House sneered back, like everyone should know why he did what he did. The truth was, House rarely made any since and was always hard to follow until he explained himself.

"No, I mean why are you testing it and not one of your ducklings?" 'Ducklings' meaning House's team of doctors of course. House's team consisted of three doctors: Chase, Cameron, and Forman. While House was always abusive and rarely complimentary, he was the best in the business, which was they all put up with working for him.

"Orders from Cuddy." 'So, Cuddy finally got him to do his own work!' Wilson thought to himself. House was notorious for gimping out of work. It you worked for him and didn't have a case to work on, you could bet you would be doing his clinic hours for him.

"About time you did your own work." 'You lazy basterd'

"Shut up," He deadpanned. "What do you want?"

"Cameron wants your opinion on whether to make Chase a one night stand or give him a real chance." The almost relationship between the two doctors on House's team was beginning to get to everyone. Especially House, considering h that he used to date Cameron.

"Always said that woman was easy. Why would I care anyway? I don't exactly like either of them." Well that was true, but they didn't really like him either.

"She values your opinion. I don't know why, but she does." Odd girl that Cameron was, this was probably all some sort of mind game with results that only she could devise.

"I think it's my impeccable manners and gentlemanly charm." Yah right, that was definitely it.

"You should go talk to her. "

"No. "House was always blunt. Wilson didn't know why exactly, but it was occasionally refreshing to hear after all the sugar coating that people try to put on anything they say.

"I won't stop bugging you until you do."

Knowing that Wilson was completely serious, House agreed in order to save his remaining sanity for when he had to talk to Cameron. "Fine, just let me finish in peace and then I'll – "

Suddenly a man in a hospital gown bust into the lab. Threateningly waving around a stolen scalpel, he motioned to the conversing doctors.

"Where is it?!?"

"Sir – "Wilson could hear the nurses running down the hall. If they could hold the guy off for just a few minutes…

"Where's the morphine?!?!" So the guy was an addict. Then this situation made a lot more since.

"There is no morphine in this lab dumbass." Now was not one of the times that bluntness was good. Now was the time to pour sugar over everything in sight…and try to get that scalpel away from the guy without cutting yourself.

"BULL SHIT!!!!!" 'Well now. No need for that scary man.' Wilson found himself thinking. 'Oh great, I could be about to die and I'm being stupid. I'm spending too much time with House."

"Sir you need to calm down," Nurses should be here by now.

"Give me morphine!"

"Sir – "House should stop while he's ahead.

"NOW!!!"

The guy had been slowly getting closer and had pushed the nearest rack of chemicals on House and Wilson. The last thing either of them saw before blacking out was a big, bright light.

Joanna Wilson could see her friend Emma through the glass. She was sitting in a hospital room listening to a Kryptonite on her I-pod. When Emma saw her best and only friend come in, she took out one ear piece.

"What are you doing?" Joanna queried.

"Watching the guys that were found in the lab," Emma responded.

"Why?"

"Because it was a serious security breach and we need to figure out what they wanted."Emma responded like it was the most obvious thing in the world. She did that a lot, but honestly people hardly ever knew what she was doing or what she would do next.

"No, I mean why are you watching them and not one of your ducklings?"

"I have orders from Cuddy."

"Damn! If you had held out against her for just three more days and you could have won me some big bucks!" There was a betting pool going on between some of the doctors who knew Emma, or at least had heard about her. Whoever guessed the date that Emma was forced to do her own work won the money.

"Shut up Joanna," Emma deadpanned.

"What?! I would have split the money with you."

"What do you want Josie?" Emma looked at her in exasperation.

"My name is Joanna! I hate it when you call me 'Josie'!"

"That's why I do it. So Josie, what did you want?"

"I was just wondering if they," She motioned to the two men. "Had woken up yet."

"The one pretending to be you is out cold, but the one who was impersonating me has been awake for upwards of ten minutes."

House knew that there was no point in eavesdropping anymore. "How'd you know?"

"Your breathing changed and your heart rate speed up." 'Well that does give it away then' House thought.

"Nice catch."

"A first ear med student could have figured that one out." Emma went back to her I-pod, but with the volume turned down a bit.

House grunted his agreement. "So what did I hear about impersonations?"

"You and your friend were found wearing name tags that say 'House' and 'Wilson'," Joanna jumped in.

"I'll let you two girls in on a little secret. Doctors wear name tags so that their patients can annoy the right person." House snapped.

"Much as I agree, doctors also usually wear name tags that have their names on them, not someone else's. You just happened to be found wearing one that said my last name." Emma snapped right back.

House blinked blankly. "What?"

"I am the only House in this hospital and my best friend is the only Wilson, which raises the question of who you really are and what you want. "

"I don't know if Cuddy put you up to this, but let me guarantee you that my name is House, and my friend's name is Wilson."

"The only Wilson I know is Joanna, and she's standing right next to me," Emma grabbed a cane off the back of the chair she was sitting in and stood up. "When you decide to tell me the truth, ring for the nurse to find me. In the meantime, I have patient to see and doctors to annoy. " and with that last quip, she left with Joanna following her out.

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