Everyone thinks that I have it all
But it's so empty living behind these castle walls
These castle walls
...
Justin caught his sister staring out the window, watching the leaves on the trees outside their house turn brown and brittle, the wind making the leaves and branches sway. Her usually expressive and bright eyes were blank and turned to a meaningless brown. Her usual smile was wiped from her face and she stood still watching. To an outsider, her hands seemed to lay dormant inside of her jacket pockets, but he knew her better than that. He knew her hands were fidgeting inside of her pocket. It's been a nervous habit of hers since they were children.
"What are you doing here?" She asked in a commanding hiss.
"Shhh." He whispered comfortingly, as he reached out softly and laced his fingers with her.
Sighing, she squeezed his hand appreciatively and tried to smile, but the whole situation made it impossible.
Alex sighed out loud and tossed his hand away, "Don't. Not now."
He shook his head, trying to comprehend what was happening.
"I told you to stay away," She turned to look at him, "Mason won't like it if he finds you here."
He snorted, "I really don't care about Mason."
"Justin.." She warned.
He then turned around and noticed the garment bag that was hanging on the wall.
"That's the-" He swallowed, "The dress?"
Alex just nodded sadly.
"I bet you will look beautiful." He managed to mumble out.
She finally understood what he was saying and felt her stomach turn, "Y-Y-You're not coming?" Alex looked at him, and her eyes suddenly filled with tears.
Quietly, he led her to her bed where he sat down and pulled her sweetly into his lap, so that she was facing him sideways.
He safely secured her by wrapping his right arm around her tiny shoulders. When they were alone it was easy to forget who they really were.
"We can't-" She tried again only to be interrupted this time, by Justin placing one finger over her mouth. Silently, he reached up and gently tilted her chin with his left hand until she was looking directly at him.
"Please don't." She whimpered, "Please don't say it."
She could see his blue eyes and how they wavered between grave guilt and intensity.
"Mason will take good care of you," He managed to say, "We both know that it's for the best."
She bounced back up and angrily glared at him, "So that's it?"
He looked away.
"You'll leave and-"
Then he pulled her down into her lap again and kissed a trail from her jaw to her mouth where he softly changed from giving sweet pecks to opened mouth kisses, "I'm doing this for us- our family."
She gasped, and Justin took that opportunity to gingerly explore her mouth. He was very careful not to over do it. He was there to comfort her, as she once did for him. As he softly swept her mouth and coaxed her shy tongue into play, Justin's mind wondered to that day when the tables had been turned.
It was the day he had lost Juliet, for good. In his weak state, he could barely stand and had relented to crawling to his bed.
And then Alex had shown up. He couldn't be sure as to exactly how she had crept into his room. By all accounts, she shouldn't have been there.
And he could still remember how he had sunk into her embrace and rested his head on her shoulder where she rocked him back and forward and let him cry silently until he was asleep.
It had been one of the kindest gestures from her. He always thought that Alex was self centered, but that night as she held him he learned differently.
And on the occasions since, she had always been there right by his side through it all. Justin wouldn't have dared to do this with her, Alex was his little sister for crying out loud. Over the nights of comfort when they confided in each other, the lines between siblings and lovers blurred. Slowly, kisses on the forehead became kisses on the lips. Holding hands became caresses and stroking. Tending wounds became something much more intimate. The understanding they had for one another was beyond that of mortals words could explain.
In their pain they had formed a common bond and had become much closer to one another than they should have.
A sharp moan broke Justin from his thoughts and it took him a minute for him to realize that Alex was pushing him away.
Reluctantly he pulled away from her and frowned as she took big gulps of breath, her left hand splayed over his chest.
"Justin, we can't do this." She told him plainly when Justin tried to reach in and kiss her again. Sighing, he straightened a little and gently engulfed the hand on his chest, with his left one. Just as previous nights, he had always stopped them from getting too carried away.
"Don't make me do this," Alex mumbled quietly, her brown eyes staring straight into his blue ones, "It will be harder to let go."
Of course, Justin could understand why.
This was their last day together.
This was their good bye.
"Don't marry him," He pleaded, "Couple years more."
She grimaced, "We can't- It has to end tonight."
They had agreed to stop- whatever it was between them, soon as either one of them was getting married.
Alex was marrying Mason.
Alex was something truly special to Justin. His spirit was drawn to her like no other. He thought maybe, perhaps they had been lovers or soul mates in a different life and somehow found one another in the next. It sounded so crazy ,but with the circumstances, he could find no other explanation.
Alex loved him too, but while Justin had discovered exactly how he felt for her some time ago, she was just now learning it for herself. She would come around. He cherished her, practically worshiped the ground she stood on, though he was careful not to make it obvious to the others around him.
"I know. You're right." He whispered to Alex, as he leaned in and kissed her on the forehead. Slowly, as Alex's eyes began to close, he slid his right hand up her shirt so that it could rest on her smooth stomach and he could draw comforting circles into her skin.
"I don't think you're my sister," He began quietly, but she was too tired to respond beyond a small shrug.
"It's just a disguise that comes with the skin." He went on, still drawing circles in her skin. On impulse, he leaned down and kissed her neck before whispering into her ear.
"...if only we had more time..." He mumbled regrettably.
Alex continued to watch him intently.
"There was so much I could have done for you...I could have...we could have..." He continued with a new line of distress in his voice.
"...I had it all planned out...I was going to take you with -" Unable to stand watching him torment himself, she interrupted. Though this time with a kiss that almost immediately was deepened when Justin entangled his left hand into brown locks of hair that were nearly identical to his.
They both moaned quietly at this and fell sideways on the bed. Eventually the two broke away for air, their breaths both hurried. Silently, he brought his forehead to rest against Alex's.
She smiled in return, "I won't regret this. What we have… it's.."
"Something that nobody else will understand."
When Justin saw that she was getting tired, he pulled himself up, ready to call it a night.
Alex gave a strangled cry and grabbed Justin's collar. Speechless with surprise, he found himself in a lip lock with her.
Hesitantly, he wrapped his hands around her, wondering why she was suddenly being so aggressive and if he should stop her. As much as he wanted her to continue, he was afraid, that like in the past, this would overwhelm her. Abruptly, he broke away.
"Alex," Justin swallowed thickly. He never finished though, because suddenly he was being pushed onto his back while she crawled onto his chest, "Listen, Justin, I don't want to be here when you leave." She started. Justin quieted at her words and looked at her.
"I can barely stand the thought of you moving out of town and- my wedding." Alex shuddered at the thought and sympathetically, he pulled her to him so that they were both lying down on their sides, "I'll miss you." In the smallest voice ever. Justin closed his eyes. The thought of leaving her nearly broke his heart, but he knew that they both needed to move on.
Be normal.
Be a brother and a sister again.
"I'll miss you too."
...
If I should tumble if I should fall
Would any one hear me screaming behind these castle walls
There's no-one here at all, behind these castle walls
Just something that I wrote while listening to the song Castle Walls :( So sad. . . Side note; this has nothing to do with my other story 'Perfect Lies'