Title: Within Dreams
Fandom: Angels Feather
Pairings: ShouxKai
Rating: T+
Warnings: Incest, yaoi (nothing too explicit), sap, fluff
Summary: Kai finds himself plagued with nightmares, and finds comfort within his brother's arms. ShouxKai [YAOI
Dislaimer: Sadly, I do not own Angels Feather. -sulks-
He still had nightmares of that night. He'd wake up in a cold sweat with Nagi's name on his lips and tears stinging his eyes, only to find himself in his room, Kris sound asleep in his own bed. He would sit in the dark afterwards and just remember; Nagi's cry as he fell, the smile he wore as his life slipped away, trying to comfort his friend even as he began to fade. He could still remember that horrible, numbing emptiness that had clawed at his chest, the thought that he was alone again, always alone, always abandoned. Even now he could feel it, lurking somewhere within the deepest recesses of his heart.
Sometimes, the dreams would be different. Events from that night would change. Some nights he would dream that Nagi had never saved him, that his friend had forgotten him and left him to die. He knew that such a thing was impossible, yet that fear still clung to him. It would never truly go away, despite Nagi's words. It wasn't as if his friend was there anymore to tell him otherwise.
Other nights he would dream that Nagi hadn't been the one to save him. He would stare wide-eyed as the attack drew closer, frozen to the spot and unable to move, only to feel arms wrap around him and pull him against a warm body.
'It's alright, Kai.' The words would be whispered into his ear, torn and cracked with pain but soothing nonetheless, and he would stare, terrified, as his brother fell before his eyes.
It was those dreams that left him the most shaken. He would wake from them with an almost desperate desire to see his twin, to make sure that Shou was still there, still safe and alive and sound asleep in his own room. But he held himself back, every time. He didn't want Shou to worry about him; no one knew of his nightmares, not even his roommate, and he wanted to keep it that way. If his brother found out, Kai knew he would only blame himself.
Still, that desperate desire, that need to see his twin, was sometimes too strong to ignore. When the ache was too much he would creep from his bed and sneak into the hallway, his bare feet leading him, always, to his brother's room. He would slip through the doorway, his heart fluttering in his throat, until he saw Shou huddled beneath his covers, chest rising and falling in a gentle rythem as he breathed.
It was impossible to describe the relief he would feel, knowing his twin was alive and still there. It was stupid, and a little pathetic, he knew, to get so upset over something so insubstantial as a dream, to the point where he could only trust his own eyes, to see that Shou was alright.
But one look at his slumbering brother and Kai would forget all of that, all of the nightmares, all of the pain he had felt, after Nagi had died. He could remember now, how close he and Shou had been, when they were still so small. They had been everything to each other; nothing could stand between them, nothing could tear them apart.
He longed for that connection, wanted so much to be as close as they had been. After seeing his nii-san again, remembering that closeness, that safety that only came in the form of his twin, he wanted it all back.
Tonight had been one of those nights. He had woken, shaking and gripped with fear, the image of Shou's bloodstained face still present in his mind, so vivid that for a terrifying moment he had truly believed his brother was dead, gone from his reach. He had shuddered beneath his sweltering sheets and tried to calm himself down, his hands clammy and trembling clutched around the amulet hanging from his neck.
'Shou's alright, he's alive, asleep in his room.' He told himself over and over, and soon enough he had been able to calm down. He had felt that need again, the ache deep in his heart, and had thrown the covers from his body without another thought, clumsily stumbling out of bed with far less grace than ever before. He hadn't bothered to shield his departure from Kris; he could feel the other's gaze on him even as he ran out the door, but he ignored it, knowing his roommate would demand answers from him later.
The run through the hallways had been nothing but a blur. He stood, panting and out of breath, before his brother's door, fingers trembling at his sides. Before his strength left him he twisted the doorknob and squeezed through the frame, eyes immediately seeking out his twin.
His heart gave a great sigh of relief upon spotting the Shou-shaped lump beneath his brother's covers. A tuft of unruly hair, a deep shade of chocolate brown, was just barely visible, along with one slender, pale foot peeking over the edge of the bed.
"Shou... " Kai kneeled by his twin's bed, his head cradled in his hands as he tried to calm his heart. This night had been one of the worst by far, one of the most memorable; even now Shou's face lurked behind his eyelids, drenched with his blood and growing paler by the second. Before he could withhold it a small, strangled whine escaped his throat, his fingers clutching almost desperately at the silk strands of his hair. "Please," he whispered, tears rimming his eyelashes, "please don't leave me, nii-san... "
He jerked as a warm palm suddenly cupped his chin, another hand trailing through his hair and dislodging his own stranglehold on the strands. His eyes slowly fluttered open, almost too afraid to look up, only to meet the bright-eyed gaze of his brother, a face so similar to his own.
"S-Shou... " He tried to pull himself together, feeling weak for giving into his selfish desires yet again, for getting too close when he should have just gone back to bed. He hated to be seen as weak, by anyone. Nagi had been the only one he could trust to let down his guard around, and even then he was still wary. He hadn't expected Shou to wake up; now he could do nothing but sit there, unsure of what exactly he should do but wanting more than anything to flee.
Shou's smile was kind, as it always had been, his hands warm against Kai's skin. He could see something in Kai's face, in his little brother's eyes, something that spoke of fear, of longing for something to cling to, someone that wouldn't leave him alone again.
Without a word he reached out and wrapped his arms around his sibling, pulling him up on the bed and arranging them until Kai's head rested against his shoulder, the younger one's arms hanging at his sides. Shou gripped his twin around the waist, running his fingers through long honey strands, feeling the other slowly begin to relax.
"I'm here," he whispered in Kai's ear, smiling as his twin shuddered in his arms. "Your nii-san's not going to leave you, Kai. I told you that."
Kai trembled and buried his head beneath Shou's chin, the words bringing a cool, soothing calm to his chest. Shou had said the same thing, back then, when he had begun to lose control, back when yet another person he had held dear to him had left him alone again. It was his nii-san's voice that had brought him back from the edge, his nii-san's arms that had anchored him, just as he was doing now.
The hands threaded through his hair began to move, blunt nails scraping lightly against his scalp. Shivers wracked Kai's spine, and he melted against his twin, cheeks stained a soft red. It felt... safe, here. Wrapped up in his older brother's embrace Kai felt as though nothing could touch him. His nightmares faded to the back of his mind; nothing could hurt him as long as Shou was there.
For a moment it felt as though they were transported back in time, back to a place where it was just the two of them, back before memories were forgotten, back before battles were lost and won, before circumstance saw fit to tear them from each other's arms.
"Kai." His brother's breath whispered past his ear, its warmth seeping into his skin. Kai's breath hitched as he glanced into the eyes of his twin, sinking into endless depths of green, so much like his own. Shou's fingers twitched in their nest of hair, one hand slipping to the back of his neck and pulling him closer. "You know," Shou murmured, eyes bright and almost wary. His cheeks were dusted a light pink as he leaned his forehead against Kai's. "I'm glad, that you come to me when you have nightmares."
Kai jumped, looking at Shou with confusion. "H-how did you?"
"Kris told me." Shou's grin turned sheepish; he rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous gesture. "He said you kept tossing and turning in your bed at night... at that sometimes... " He trailed off, his cheeks burning. "Sometimes you call out my name... "
A blush fit to match his brother's spread across Kai's face. He'd never thought about talking in his sleep, and Kris had apparently never felt the need to tell him he did so. He wondered with a spark of panic if the silver-haired man had told anyone else.
"I... I have nightmares," he admitted, green eyes staring at a point below Shou's chin; he could see the sparkling red of his brother's amulet, dangling against his collarbone. "I dream of... that night." He didn't have to say which night that was; by the look on Shou's face-one of sadness and anger-he knew his brother understood. "Sometimes I dream that you... you push me out of the way... you take Nagi's attack, and... " His voice broke off as a lump formed in his throat, the image he had been trying so hard to push back overtaking his mind once more. He closed his eyes against it, his head buried deep against his brother's neck.
Shou wasted no time in drawing him closer, his arms a welcome haven around his twin. Kai didn't have to finish; Shou knew what he must have saw, what terrors must still plague his otouto.
"It's alright, Kai," he whispered, bringing Kai's face up to meet his own, a comforting smile curling his lips. "I'm right here. Your nii-san's not going anywhere." He watched as tears slipped from Kai's eyelashes, running silently down his cheeks, his heart constricting at the sight. He had already vowed never to let his brother be hurt again, not his beautiful little twin.
He brought Kai's face even closer to his own, his heart hammering inside his chest as their eyes met. He tenderly brushed them away with the tips of his fingers, stroking his brother's soft cheek. Kai's eyes fluttered and then slipped closed, lips parting as he breathed, and without a single thought put into his actions, Shou closed the miniscule distance between them and covered Kai's lips with his own.
His heart roared as their lips brushed, his blood pumping through his veins. Warmth seemed to seep from Kai's flesh, flowing into him and warming his limbs; he craved more of his touch, more of that warmth.
"K-Kai," He broke apart from his brother's lips, eyes glazed. His blood was like fire in his veins as he stared at his little brother, his lips red, his face flushed an endearing shade of pink. Kai's eyes opened slowly, feverish as they gazed at Shou, and the older twin suddenly wondered if he had done something wrong. Was Kai be... disgusted, by that kiss?
"Are you... alright?" He asked slowly, wary of the answer. He hadn't meant to upset Kai more than he already was...
Kai nodded slowly, and Shou felt the fear melt away. Kai's lips parted as he leaned closer, his breath warm and sweet against Shou's lips. "Can I... ?" He pointedly glanced at Shou's mouth, and the older twin felt himself nodding, his brain ceasing to function as Kai's lips swiftly covered his own.
The kiss was slow and sweet, and sent tongues of fire crawling up Shou's spine. He wrapped his twin in a firm embrace, arms sliding around Kai's waist, one hand tangling once more in honey blond strands. His eyes had slipped to half-mast; through them he could see Kai's face, his little brother's eyes closed and his cheeks and nose stained rose red.
He groaned and closed his own eyes as Kai's hands tangled in his hair, mussing the already unruly locks. He slanted his head and deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding past Kai's lips to tangle sweetly with his own. His heart fluttered as Kai moaned, his arms sliding around Shou's shoulders.
Soon the need for air drew the two apart. Shou gently pulled back, placing light, feathery kisses along Kai's jaw and cheeks. He smiled as his lips brushed his twin's soft skin, still warm from his violent blush.
"C'mon," he whispered, pulling Kai to lay beside him in his twin bed. He pulled the covers over the both of them, wrapping warm arms around Kai's stomach. His little twin cuddled close, resting his head on Shou's shoulder, green eyes bright. Shou rested his head on his pillow, his chin nestled in Kai's long hair, and whispered a breathy goodnight.
"I love you, Nii-san." Shou blinked his emerald eyes, his lips spreading into a warm smile as he gazed at his little brother. He pressed his lips against Kai's forehead, his breath coming out in a whisper.
"I love you, too."
Kai smiled against Shou's chest, allowing his eyes to close as warmth settled around them. He could already feel his body succumbing to the pull of sleep, and for once could find no reason to fight it. He fell into slumber within his brother's arms.
And, for once, no nightmares lay there to claim him.
Owari
Notes: Is it possible to kill yourself with fluff? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I just drowned in this...
Please review!
