You Never Bring Me Flowers….
Oswald goes to see Jim for yet another clandestine evening in. He decides to be romantic and buy Jim some flowers on the way - and he takes ages to make up his mind at the florist because he wants to get him the biggest most beautiful bouquet his money can buy.
Meanwhile, he has numerous texts from Jim, who is anxious for him to turn up, such as:
"Oswald - where are you?"
and
"Oswald - I made goulash. It's getting cold - and so am I!"
The last one kicks Oswald into touch - and into action. He can't have his goulash AND his man getting cold!
So he texts back: "On my way." Jim texts back: "You'd better be!"
He arrives at Jim's door and when Jim answers it he is wearing nothing but an apron.
"I bought flow…"begins Oswald, but before he can finish Jim grabs him by the lapels and drags him over the threshold.
"What kept you?" he growls, and kisses Oswald forcefully, almost biting him.
Oswald drops the flowers on the floor. "Ohhhh Jim…."
The goulash goes cold - but Oswald and Jim get hot!