Disclaimer: So the title of this fic says it all. It's Not Over. Shonda on the other hand says it is over. So over. See the difference?
Meredith woke up the morning after the wedding-that-wasn't. She had fallen asleep on Burke and Cristina's… on Cristina's couch, and Cristina had fallen asleep in the bedroom. Meredith numbly walked to the door, checking on her friend who lay in bed with her hair mussed and her make up smudged, her eyebrows worn off. She had the blankets drawn up around her body, still in her undergarments from yesterday, and she clung to Burke's pillow, sorry and sadness evident on her face even in sleep.
Meredith sighed, feeling an empty pit begin to grow in her stomach as she thought of the day before and the day that lay ahead of her. Her stomach flipped as she thought of going into work to see Derek… Derek. The man who she'd called her McDreamy, the person that she was going to spend the rest of her life with. Tears pricked at her eyes as she remembered that, and she swallowed, fighting them back.
She turned and went to the small kitchen area, searching for a coffee pot and the coffee mix. She frowned when she found them both; now all she had to do was figure out how to make it. She knew how to make coffee, that much was true, but Burke apparently had some sort of fancy, state of the art maker, with a million different buttons that worked with some sort of press instead of the regular drip maker she was used to. She sighed, starting to take the machine apart, checking the directions every five seconds, before she finally put the machine back together, coffee successfully inside of it. Now all she had to do was figure out which button to push.
"Brew…" She thought for a moment before shrugging. "As good as heat or instant I guess." She said to herself before pressing a button. She smiled proudly as the scent of coffee slowly started to fill her nostrils and she turned, walking away from it. She looked down at the dress she wore. The brown dress that she'd worn yesterday. She hadn't brought any clothes with her to the apartment yesterday, so her best hope was that Cristina would allow her to wear something.
She rustled into the bedroom, and looked around. Cristina's eyes were open, but she hadn't moved from her position. Honestly, Meredith was scared. She'd never seen her friend like this, but then again, she guessed that it was her turn to pick up the pieces. She'd been broken enough by, Derek, it was only fair she help glue back whatever was left of Cristina. She went to a drawer and pulled it open carefully, blinking as she saw that Burke's clothes were still in it.
"We alternated drawers… mine are the second and the fourth." Cristina's quiet voice broke through the thick, silent air. Meredith looked at her and opened her mouth to say something but thought better of it. She turned and closed the third drawer which she'd opened before opening the second drawer above it. She pulled out a pair of jeans and a long sleeved top, closing the drawer and leaving the room. Once she was in the living room she stripped of her clothes; her dress lay in a heap on the floor and her stockings accompanied them. She pulled on the jeans and the top, feeling freer already, and she left her clothes where they were as she went to check on the coffee.
Rich, warm smells assaulted her and she poured herself a cup, inhaling before taking a gulp from it. It was smooth and she definitely had to give Burke a hand; he'd most definitely done his research before purchasing this machine, and it hadn't been faulty.
She went into Cristina's room and watched her. She still hadn't moved and Meredith made her decision.
"I'll let them know you're not coming in today." She said before turning and exiting the room. She didn't have anything to take with her to the hospital, and this would be her first day as a resident. She supposed she could get her scrubs there and she usually tried to keep a spare stethoscope in the car, as she sometimes had trouble finding her original one. She finished her coffee in silence before going to the door, pulling it open. She decided not to say goodbye to Cristina; she would hear the door close.
The drive to the hospital was silent and when she got there she decided to take the stairs; elevator encounters were not exactly her number one hope for today. She got to the locker room and immediately found that things were different. Not only was Cristina missing, George was missing as well; Alex was looking more morose than usual and Izzie looked numb, and empty, not unlike how she had after Denny died. She went to her locker and opened it, pulling out a pair of scrubs that she kept there and she began to change. New interns began to pile in and she looked them over quickly, one girl catching her eye for a brief moment longer than the others.
She hung her spare stethoscope around her neck couldn't help but smile as she saw Dr. Bailey walk into the room and she began to address the new interns.
"And you three," she began, pointing to her old ones. Alex, Izzie, and Meredith instantly straightened up, alert and ready. "If I see anything, or if I hear anything about you killing patients, playing hooky, giving the new interns hell, you're all going on scut." She said. They blinked at her and Alex was the first to respond.
"You can't do that."
"You're not our boss anymore." Izzie chimed in.
"That's completely unfair." Meredith said in disbelief. Bailey raised her eyebrows at them. "You think just because your internship is over I still don't own you?" She snorted. "You so damn stupid. When are you gonna figure out I own everything?" She said in her classic style; yet there was something forced about her words. The three shook off her warning and left the room as she continued her speech to the interns.
"She can't actually put us on scut can she? I mean she's not technically our boss anymore, right?" Izzie asked quickly.
"Who knows. They don't call her the Nazi for a reason." Alex said. Meredith however remained quiet, her eyes trained on a certain neuro-surgeon. He looked horrible. Circles lined his eyes and it was clear he hadn't gotten much sleep if any last night. His hair was wild and his face was drawn as he wrote on a chart. He pushed it towards a nurse and ran a tired hand over his face before turning around, away from her line of vision. She swallowed and fought back the urge to go run up to him and hold him, take it back, say she lied, say anything to make them ok again. But she couldn't It was over… so over.
Maybe it was for the best. She didn't know if she saw a future for them or not… she had seen a future, she had plans… but after Derek left her for his wife… she lost those plans.
"Liz… Liz was my wife… and when she died… you do this thing, where you stop making plans."
She knew what Finn had been talking about. It was as if Derek had died… he hadn't just killed their relationship, what they had, he'd killed himself, effectively wiping himself from her life. He was there and then he wasn't.
"Like I blinked and he was gone."
She swallowed and turned away, swerving in the opposite direction down the hall.
"Meredith?"
She heard her name being called by Izzie and Alex, but she ignored them, continuing her journey down the hall. She needed to find something to do, anything to do. Why oh why couldn't she be an intern?
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Derek had left the wedding the night before and gone immediately to the hospital. Surgeries were the only thing that could cure him, and even they were a temporary fix. Nothing could make him forget…
"It's over… it's so over…"
He clenched his jaw as he went to the elevator and pressed a button, somewhat surprised when the doors opened without a wait. He stepped on and pressed close, not waiting for anyone else. He needed to be alone. If only for a floor, he needed to be alone.
She had ended it. They'd… he fought, and she fought, and they fought… and now they were broken. Completely broken. He has always been willing to be with her, always. And she had been too. But now it seemed, she wasn't. And he didn't know what that meant.
The door opened at the next level and a girl dressed in light blue scrubs, with dark brown hair that was cut short looked up and met his eyes. She blinked a few times, her mouth falling open in class Grey style, and finally she uttered one word.
"Crap."
Derek himself groaned inwardly as he looked at the door.
"I must have an intern magnet." He thought moodily to himself.
"Hi… I'm um…"
"An intern." He supplied shortly.
"Yeah… first day." She said. "I uh…"
He sighed. Not only was it an intern it was a first day intern. Just his luck. Deciding to be polite he held out his hand.
"Dr. Derek Shepherd."
Her eyes widened. "Neuro-surgeon Dr. Shepherd? As in Chief of Neuro-surgery?" She asked, her voice rising in pitch a little on the last few words, and he nodded.
"That would be the one." He said.
"Crap." She said again before taking his hand and shaking it.
"I'm um… Lexie. Lexie Grey." She said and Derek froze in his spot.
"Grey?"
"Yeah… my Mom, Susan Grey… she died here about a week ago…" her voice became a little quieter. "And my half-sister Mer--"
"Meredith…" he finished her sentence softly, panic rising a little. "Meredith, I know her." He said and she nodded. "Right well… she works here, and it's home so I figured…. Why not try to get a job here! And here I am." She said.
"Right…" he couldn't stay there, he needed to think.
"Nice to meet you Dr. Grey." He said.
"Nice to meet you too Dr. Shepherd." She replied with a smile. It was a nice smile, different from Meredith's… but the fact was, that she wasn't Meredith, no matter who her father was, and no matter what the last name was.
"I'll see you around." He said before stepping out of the elevator and walking briskly down the hall.
"Yeah, um… bye!" She called to his retreating back.
He turned a corner and nearly ran head on into a small body.
"Sorry,"
"Sorry, I wasn't… oh… hi." Meredith whispered softly.
"Hi," he said in a low voice.
"So near, yet so far." He thought wryly, and she thought the same.
"I um…" she started.
"Yeah," he said. She started to move past him and after an awkward little dance she made it.
"Meredith?" He said and she turned.
"Yeah?"
"I…" he sighed. "Never mind."
She nodded and turned slowly, making her way around the corner. She ran to the elevator, just in time to see it close. "Hold the door please!" She called as she sprinted and managed to slip in just in time.
"Thanks." She said.
"No problem." The pretty girl flashed her a smile. There was a pause before Meredith decided to make chit-chat. She didn't know why she chose to, but she figured that as a resident she needed to make the new interns feel welcome.
"Are you new here?"
"Yeah. First day actually." The girl answered with a nervous smile. "I'm kind of scared."
Meredith chuckled. "Don't be. Even if you have the Nazi as your resident, you'll live." She said.
The girl laughed with her for a moment. "Yeah well, I already flirted with my boss, so I guess things can't get much more awkward." She said. This caught Meredith's interest and she looked at her out of the corner of her eye. "Really?" a small smile came on her face. "I did the same thing once."
"Really? Wow… at least I'm not the only one. I mean, you did it and you lived." She said.
"Barely." Meredith thought to herself.
"Yeah, I guess I did!" She smiled cheerfully… too cheerfully. Izzie cheerfully.
"So who'd you flirt with? I got Dr. Shepherd." The girl offered with a laugh. Meredith froze in her spot and plastered a tense smile on her face.
"Really? Der- Dr. Shepherd?" She said through her teeth. The girl nodded. "Yeah. We met in a bar about two nights ago. Turns out…"
"I know this story." Meredith said. And it was true she did. Girl in a bar, guy in a bar… the only thing that was different was that he hadn't slept with her. Things may have been rough between her and Derek, but she knew that he would never cheat on her.
Meredith turned to her and offered her hand. She might as well get to know the competition.
"The old competition. She's not the competition anymore, you broke up with him remember?"
"I'm Meredith… Meredith Grey." She said and the girls eyes widened.
"Meredith?" She smiled brightly. "I had no idea it was you!" She took her hand. "I'm Lexie, Lexie Grey. Thatcher's other daughter." She said.
"Crap."
I was blown away. What could I say? It all seemed to make sense. You've taken away everything, and I can't deal with that. I try to see the good in life, but good things in life are hard to find.
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First chapter of a new fic! And as usual, I'm kind of nervous. I might try a little bit of a different writing style this time around… not too much, just a little tweak here and there… this is a MerDer story, so don't worry about Lexie… at least for the long run.
So this is the chapter where everyone meets everyone else. And Cristina doesn't come into work… because she just got left at the altar. We'll see her soon though.
There's really not much to explain here… so I'll cut my rambling short. Thank you so much for reading and please review!! Especially since this is my first chapter….
Ta-ta for now!