(In this reality, Benjamin Barker drowned at sea trying to escape his banishment. Mrs. Lovett remained poor and alone, finally dying of food poisoning from her own cooking. Lucy still, sadly, went mad. She wandered the streets devoid of memory or sanity, with no inkling her daughter lived in a house she passed each week.)
The Judge's Redemption
Johanna knocked softly on the bedroom door. A low, gravelly voice answered her from behind the thick wood. "Come in."
She meekly opened it and poked her head in. "Sir? May I have a word with you?"
Judge Turpin, pleasantly surprised by her appearance, answered, "Of course." The last he had seen of her he had asked for her hand in marriage to which she gasped, burst into tears and ran away, and avoided him since.
She came into his bed chamber and closed the door behind her. Her soft, white nightgown hid her figure as she padded quietly to the foot of his bed. She sat on the billowy comforter next to his feet and sighed, gathering her courage. "Sir, I want to...I want to apologize for my reaction yesterday, I reacted foolishly and childishly. I was so shocked by your proposal that I cried all the way to church."
"You went to church? I thought you would run to that young sailor boy." He crossed his arms defensively.
"You mean that young man who has been showing me attention?" she asked. He nodded. "No, he's young and handsome but you know what they say about sailors. A girl in every port. I don't want that. No, I was lighting a candle for you, sobbing much too loudly, and the Priest came over to me and took me into his office to tell him why I was crying."
"And why were you sobbing and lighting candles for me?" he asked.
"I explained to the Priest that you had proposed, and I was appalled… because I believed you guilty of incestuous thoughts." Johanna looked down, ashamed.
The Judge encouraged her to continue, "And what did the Priest have to say to this?"
"He laughed at me." She blushed. "Just a little, then he handed me a handkerchief and told me to dry my tears. He said "the Judge is not your family, my dear, you are his ward, not his child. He never adopted you. I know because I asked him his intentions when he brought you into his home when you were just a baby." I told him I had always looked upon you as a father-figure. But he insisted that not only were you not my father but he would never believe for a moment you to be guilty of any incestuous thoughts towards me. He explained, very nicely, the way you explain things to me, that you have always been my trusted protector. And now that I am a young woman you wish to protect me as only a husband can."
Smiling gently he answered, "Very smart Priest."
"Perhaps my reaction was so childish that maybe you do not consider me worthy of marriage anymore?" Johanna hung her head sadly.
Judge Turpin spoke quickly, he didn't want her to cry again, "Of course not, my dear. I love and care for you as ever I did and more; you learned something from your perfectly honest mistake. What more could I ask of you?"
Joanna moved up the bed so she could hug him, she was so relieved she didn't think about the inappropriateness of her actions, the Judge did not scold, but held her gently. "Thank you, Sir. I would be so honored to be your wife, if you'll still have me?"
"Of course, of course, my dear." He laughed a little, like the Priest, and hoped she wouldn't notice his arousal under the bed sheets. He couldn't see her figure beneath her nightgown but he could definitely feel it; soft and curved.
She pulled away, "Goodnight Sir. You've made me very happy." She made sure his door closed and went to her own room. She wished she could just stay the night with him, begin this marriage right off, but a proper wedding was only appropriate. She hoped that it wouldn't be a long wait. Her husband-to-be was not a young man, and she wanted to give him a son as soon as possible. She dreamed of babies.
She barely ate her breakfast in the morning, too excited to discuss wedding plans but not wanting to put too much pressure on her very busy fiance'. He ate only a little, too, read his paper and drank his coffee. He gave her a small kiss on the head before he left for the day.
She decided she would help prepare a special dinner for him and they could talk tonight. She spoke with the cook and asked if she could help. Shocked, but pleasantly surprised, the cook graciously taught her some basic cooking skills. They began with soup.
Joanna was proud of her concoction, having tasted it before serving, she knew the Judge would like it, too. She moved her chair closer to the head of the table so they could talk more freely.
He was rushed when he came in but when the help told him Joanna had prepared something special he slowed right down, reached into his pocket and placed a lovely little box on the table in front of her. "In all the running around, I wasn't able to give you this."
Joanna smiled, she always loved his gifts, but she knew what this was. Without disappointment it was an engagement ring, and he placed the perfect flowering jewel on her perfect, slender finger.
"It's beautiful, thank you. I know you have a busy schedule, do you have any thoughts about when the wedding should be?"
They chatted over hot soup and bread and retired to the library. He, of course, had work to do, and Joanna noticed some of the titles behind his chair. She wasn't allowed to explore those books, he said they were special interest and not for a young lady's eyes. But some of the titles did stand out to her. She thought maybe she could secretly peruse them for ideas about the wedding night,. She knew her husband-to-be was older and wiser than she, but she was pretty sure he was more experienced in the ways of love, as well.
She had no idea. In his younger days he was with a different woman every night. Some professional, some from parties, some prisoners attempting to gain his favor. It never worked, of course. He promised nothing and they got nothing. He had studied the physical arts and love making rituals of many societies, the Kama Sutra, love stories. He was still a virile man now sixty. His partners were fewer. There was no longer the thrill of the chase, or the excitement of getting caught in an inappropriate venue. His only desire turned to his young ward. It was time to settle down. He would teach her the ways to please him. And if that smile she'd had the last 20 hours was any indication of her enthusiasm, she would be a good student.
His thoughts had wandered and she sat on the footstool in front of him. "You're smiling. Thinking of something pleasant?" she asked.
"Very pleasant." He brushed a long strand of hair from her face.. She blushed, liking that he was thinking pleasant thoughts of her. "I'm tired, I think I'll go to bed now. But I should probably let Father Matthew know about the wedding and the date we discussed tomorrow. If that's alright with you?"
"That'll be fine." She leaned in and kissed him gently. He pulled her closer for a longer kiss. She felt so warm, tender, perfect. A quick wedding and a long honeymoon, he couldn't possibly wait any longer.
The wedding plans came together quickly. They both wanted something simple, to spend the wedding night at home, and travel on his regularly scheduled holiday, a full month, for a honeymoon in Italy. Johanna took to planning, organizing and household duties quickly and efficiently. Gone was the child, a woman emerged. But as the wedding drew closer, she began to feel like a little girl again. She was excited, yes, but scared. She was afraid of disappointing her new husband, because she knew nothing of the pleasures of the flesh. She'd seen him dance at parties, and kiss other women, but she was not like those women. They knew what to do, how to please a man. His forbidden books called to her, if she just saw some pictures maybe she would have a better understanding. No, she would trust her husband to teach her. He knows she is a virgin, he would be kind.
The Judge was aware of her nervousness, she always bit her nails when something was on her mind and she was nibbling at hers after dinner every night that week. In the quiet of the library, when all the servants had retired or gone home, he watched her.
"What's troubling you my Bride?" She looked up at him, surprised he could tell. She didn't ask a question, but he answered it anyway, "You've always nibbled your fingernails when you are nervous.."
She laughed lightly and looked, so she had.
"Nervous about our wedding tomorrow?" he assumed.
"Not exactly." She blushed, and looked down at her book, then back to him. Well, if she couldn't talk to her soon-to-be-husband, who could she talk to? "I am nervous about the wedding night. I'm afraid I won't please you because I don't know what I'm doing."
It was his turn to go and sit before her. He had had many a virgin in his life. Some willing, some not so much. But Johanna was a treasure. This time, he would do it right. This time was his first as well. This was the first time he was going to make love.
He held her hands gently and reassured her, "My Dear, it is precisely your innocence that I love so much. Don't worry, I will show you, patiently. We have the rest of our lives to love each other." She flung her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He stroked her hair. Yes, she was a treasure. And tomorrow she would be the first and only Mrs. Edmund Turpin.
A more stunning bride had never been seen. White lace covered her from the crown of her hair to the toe of her shoes. The dress would be a family heirloom, her own granddaughter would wear it to her wedding. Judge Turpin never looked more galant, clean and shaved and smiling.
The fall weather brought in a pleasant September breeze. Johanna neatly hung up her dress and changed into the prettiest nightgown she'd ever owned. She bought it special for Edmund. Edmund; it felt odd to call him that in private now, it made her giggle the first time she used it. The nightgown was very thin and soft in white. The servants had been dismissed for the day, so the house was empty, just them.
His room was lit with more candles than usual. Their room. The bed had fresh sheets on it. Edmund was already in bed when she entered. The look on his face was priceless. She was a stunning bride, but now she came to him with this silky wisp of a nightgown on with her hair flowing down. She blew out the candles on her side of the bed, there were just too many.
"Don't blow out all of them, my Dear, I want to see you." She left the last one lit and crawled under the covers with him. She smiled at him and held his hand. "Are you still very nervous?" he asked her, rolling towards her. He began stroking her long hair again. She was irresistible.
"Now that we're here together, no, I'm not as nervous as I was. I trust you."
He would not betray that trust. Gone were the other women, the drunken parties, the seductive waifs. Now it was only her. They would be a family, faithful to each other. He kissed her tenderly and carressed her neck. Lowering the sleeve of her nightgown, he kissed her neck and then her shoulder. She was holding her breath. Without being told her hands found the buttons of his nightshirt and began undoing them. Her now exposed breast made her shiver with his breath on it. Her hands stroked his chest, she helped him slip off his nightshirt and stroked his back.
He pulled off her nightgown and slipped his hand between her legs. "My dear, this may hurt a little." he whispered. She gasped, not because it hurt, because she'd never felt anything so wonderful. She pushed her hips against his hand in rhythm, she began to feel the pain he spoke of. She grabbed his arm and squeezed hard, as he pushed in deeper, she clung to him, and cried out. She covered her mouth with her hand, ashamed she had made any noise. He took her hand away and reassured her, "It's alright, it's alright. You're doing fine." He had never been so kind a lover. One last thrust and his hand emerged with blood. He kissed her passionately and climbed on top of her. "Open, Love. It won't hurt anymore." She opened her legs wide for him and rubbing his back as he entered her.
Her noises came differently now, every stroke of him inside her felt surprisingly wonderful, surely it must be a sin to enjoy this so much. His noises were getting louder, too. Her enjoyment spurring him on. She caught his lips in a passionate kiss. One last thrust and she gasped, his body frozen in convulsion with hers.
They lay naked entwined together that night. The Honorable Judge Turpin laid naked against his wife for the first time with such contentment he had never felt before. They slept late. Johanna brushed some wisps of hair off his forehead. "Good morning Husband," she smiled. She thought he was adorable all disheveled. "Good morning Wife," he answered.
The staff was kept away for the weekend. Johanna knew her way around the kitchen well enough to take care of them for a day. The Judge took care of her that night, he worshipped her, the smell of her hair, the feel of her skin on his, her soft lips; and she responded so beautifully to all that he did to her. She enjoyed, yes, but she gave. She was generous with her love and eager to touch and stroke him in ways she learned he liked.
November was their honeymoon, and a much needed rest for the Judge, and they had a beautiful place to stay, with views to gaze upon all around them; the city, the mountains, the ocean. Every day was fine meals and gazing at fine art. One evening they skipped going out and stayed in and danced together to the music coming from the city to their open windows.
The only thing that seemed disagreeable was Johanna's stomach, somehow the dinners did not sit well and she often awoke unwell. She was always fine once she had eaten breakfast, so she ate less dinner, hoping to avoid nausea, but that didn't fare well. Instead of having nausea she ended up fainting. Edmund summoned the Doctor and they assisted her to bed. It didn't take long for the Doctor to have a diagnosis. "Congratulazioni Giudice Turpin, stai per diventare padre. He smiled warmly and left them be.
"Please tell me you're happy, Edmund," Johanna said to her husband when she saw his face. He looked shocked. She was smiling, so happy it had happened so quickly. Of course, they were very active in their love making.
He nodded and smiled, sitting next to her on the bed. "I hadn't given it any thought, I just assumed I was too old." He held her hand.
"I asked the Doctor if we could still make love, and he said 'absolutely'".
"What made you specifically ask the Doctor that?" Edmund asked.
Johanna laughed a little, "Because I know my husband has a healthy appetite for his wife, I wanted to make sure I could still be there for you. I never want to give you reason to wander." She ended seriously.
He was surprised. Surprised she would be so blunt, that she would think that was a possibility, surprised that it hurt him, and disappointment that he knew she was right. He kissed her forehead. "My Dear," he spoke softly and gently, "there was a time where such an inconvenience would have tempted me. I did not have the patience or desire for the patience to wait. You have quieted my soul. There are no temptations for me anymore. You are my contentment." He was even more pleased and surprised that it was the truth. Lying beside this angel each night gave him great peace. He made love to her that night so sincerely, so selflessly. He had never been more gentle. This precious angel loved him, she gasped the truth of it and he breathlessly replied in kind.
…
Johanna grew and accepted the changes in her body with adventurous spirit and youthful curiosity. Everyone had advice and opinions. She wisely listened to the voices that gave her peace of mind. One day reading in the library she looked up and noticed a title of one of Edmund's private book collection, "The Mother Within". That might be about pregnancy, surely she could look at that.
She wished she hadn't, she'd never been angry at her husband and the contents of this book made her furious. It was entirely sexual experiments on nude, pregnant women. The drawings were vivid, mostly women in Africa. She looked up from the pictures and really viewed the other titles on the shelf. "Erotica", "The String of Pearls", "Nude Observations", "The Submitted Woman", etc. In one book about "Gardens" were actually pictures of sexual positions and old letters. Letters to the Judge from a woman named Rita. She was, was "love" the right word?, in lust with him. This Rita person described what she missed and liked best about Edmund in bed. There was no date. She had no idea how long ago this woman had been a part of his life.
Did he miss her? He was so loving and attentive to her she didn't think so. Should she say something? Will he be angry with her? More angry with her than she with him? Perhaps an honest talk was all that was necessary. She could not scold her husband for the man he once was. What is important is the man he is now.
So for dinner she served him two books and the letters on his plate first, and then spooned out the soup. "What are these books doing here?"
"I've always obeyed your every rule, Husband. I've never touched your book collection. Until this afternoon, when the title "The Mother Within" caught my eye."
"That is unfortunate."
"Yes, then I noticed the other titles. Something as seemingly innocuous as "Gardens" was not referring to plants. Then I found the letters. It was a disappointing discovery."
"Very disappointing." He was angry, he didn't want anyone to look through his collection and papers. She had invaded his privacy. Then again, he was married now, with a child on the way, perhaps there was no more privacy to speak of.
"Do you still have feelings for Rita?"
"That is NONE…" he banged the table but couldn't finish. "Of your business" did not come out because he looked at her face, his angel's beautiful face. It was her business. She kept looking at him, tears welling up in her eyes. She wasn't angry with him, and she had every right to be.
"My Dear, I'm sorry I raised my voice." He took her hand. "No, I do not have feelings for Rita, or anyone else. Since we married you have been the love of my life, I do not desire another."
She smiled and sighed, she was relieved. Yes, she believed him. His eyes told the truth even more than his words. She watched him put his other hand on the books. She couldn't believe what happened next, her husband started to cry. "Edmund? What's wrong?"
He could barely speak. "I'm ashamed. So ashamed." He reached out with his free hand to grasp her arm. He fell onto the floor hard, kneeling before his wife. His shoulders were shaking and he was sobbing into her lap. She stroked his hair and rubbed his back. "I never wanted you to see that. I have spoiled your innocence leaving them in the house. I will not risk our son or daughter's innocence by continuing to have them here. Forgive me Johanna. I will have them removed immediately."
He got up and picked up Rita's letters, he placed them in the fire. To hell with his past. His future sat at the table behind him. Johanna was overwhelmed at this gesture of love. All doubt was erased. Love swelled up within her. They went to bed early, and she initiated their love making. He wasn't sure he wanted to be physical tonight. She told him, "I need you to know how much I love you. This changes nothing between us." Her belly had gotten a little bigger and she straddled him the way he had taught her. She was slow and gentle, and he shared the rhythm she started instead of the other way around. His excitement spurred her on. She caressed his face, she climaxed after he had started to. The Judge held onto her tight that night.
The very next day he arranged for boxes to be delivered and his entire collection of adult material was packed up and sold to a bookseller. With the money he made they decorated the nursery. She thought it the most romantic gesture he'd ever made.
His son arrived in the still and quiet of a night in May. Little Edmund was born at home and his place was mostly at Johanna's enlarged breasts. He had a hearty appetite, a strong set of lungs and was the most amazing and beautiful of creatures his Father had ever seen. He had never looked to the future. He always lived in the now, the pleasures of the moment, appeasing his current mood. Now he would go to work and his thoughts were about his son. Normal for a new father, but the thoughts interrupted his decision-making. A case of forgery he would normally sentence two years confinement for the amount. The defendant was a family man and he only gave him one year. Merciful was not his reputation.
Little Edmund had his mother's blonde curls. They were going for a walk together and she held onto him, wrapped in a blanket. The sun shone down on them, while the shadows engulfed him, "Lucy". He was swept back in time, remembering the look of fear in Lucy's eyes when he approached her. He remembered like it was yesterday, plotting to remove her husband forever so that he could have her for a moment. And he did have her. Once. By force. What would he do if someone tricked his lovely Johanna that way? Thank goodness he married her in time, protecting her from someone like...himself.
"Edmund? Edmund!" Johanna cried for help as she watched her husband collapse to the ground with his hand on his chest.
At home the Doctor found nothing to explain the Judge's collapse. He was in fair condition for a man his age. He postulated that work plus fatherhood had simply exhausted him, and that rest was in order. Johanna insisted on tending to her husband herself, she would not hire a nurse. She took care of her husband and son, until she was exhausted. Once the Judge was back to work she took to bed to recover.
Judge Turpin paused when he caught his reflection in a mirror. When had he become so old? He looked into his own eyes, admonished himself for the wicked life he had led. What did Johanna see in his hazel eyes? What will Little Edmund think of the life of his Father? He might not see his son grow to adulthood. It was a very real possibility that his last years would be few. He had financially provided for his family, but what more could he do? What more should he do?
He must find Lucy. He had never looked for her. For all he knew she was dead. Once he had taken Johanna into his care he never checked on her in Bedlam. He was neglecting work but he had to find her. He began his search with a private detective. A simple report on where she was and what condition her life was in.
He held Johanna tightly each night, but rarely accepted more physical pleasures. He was so sick to his stomach with worry for Lucy he kept seeing her face in his wife's. He reassured her, and kindhearted dear that she is, she understood, and accepted being held instead.
At last the mystery was solved. The news was as horrible as he imagined. By his selfishness, he had doomed the poor woman to a life of poverty and wretchedness. As a non-violent patient in Bedlam she was released to manage on her own. Living under a bridge, sifting through garbage, begging for scraps, all the while mumbling to herself, lost to the truth of what happened. Judge Turpin knew the truth. He arranged with the hospital for a fund to be set up, The Edmund Tobias Turpin Foundation would care for, until death, an unfortunate soul. Lucy was taken for physical care and would never have to beg for food again.
Even though the Judge had set things to right for Lucy, his chest pains did not desist, his stomach still gave him trouble. He did not sleep peacefully unless Johanna was in his arms, and he was uncharacteristically merciful in all matters at work. There was talk of his retirement.
Johanna remained patient, he mourned even that, for he knew he did not deserve the unconditional love of this beautiful angel. His redemption.