With you always
Disclaimer: I do not own NCIS. Although I do have s1 & 3 (s2 not arrived in the post yet :( ) does that count?
A/N: This is a follow on from my other two longer stories of Yankee White Tate Style and What the Future Holds, set just after the events of Kill Ari part 2.
I have 2 versions for this story, both with the same letter. This one, she dies, and the other one she doesn't. If people would like me to post the other story as well, tell me and I will either add it as a second chapter or as a separate story if that seems more appropriate.
Hope you enjoy. :D
Tony was clearing out some of the files of Kate's in the study, when he came across several envelopes. One had his name on it, while the other two had Emily's, all in Kate's familiar scrawl. Curious, he sat down on the chair, unsure whether to open them or not. Normally, Kate would have a go at him for opening her things, but as it was addressed to him, he thought that she wouldn't mind. 'She was gonna give it to me at some point anyway.'
Upon opening the letter, he soon discovered that it had been written before Kate and Emily moved back in with him, whilst they were still separated.
Dear Tony
If you are reading this, then something must have happened to me, and I am no longer with you. I do not know what has happened, but I hope that it was in doing something that I love. You were always a fantastic husband and father, and I know that you will continue to be. Just promise to take care of Emily for me while I am gone. Make sure that she remembers me, but carry on with your lives – both of you. I will always be thinking of you.
I know you probably don't believe me, but I never stopped loving you. I cannot express how sorry I am at the pain I caused you. I never meant to hurt you. Despite all the things that were said towards the end, we really did have a great marriage, something I never forgot. You should know that there has never been anyone else, not even whilst we were married. Nothing happened between James and me, though it may to too late to convince you now, but you refused to listen to us. I was on my way to explain and try to sort it out when I saw who you were with. I never originally wanted to take the papers with me, but took them on impulse. I honestly believe that we could have made it work, but were both too stubborn to try.
You deserve to have been involved in Emily's life, more then an outsider. My biggest regret is leaving you, not only because of my loss, but of the pain Emily went through, seeing her parents arguing and not understanding why. It broke my heart every time you left, watching the look on her face. After each visit, she would spend the following week asking when Daddy was coming home. I never knew what to say.
There should be another couple of envelopes for Emily. One of them is for her to read (or be read) now, but the other is to be kept until she turns eighteen, to tell her all the things she deserves to hear, but can't. I know I won't be there for her as she grows up, but remind her that I will be watching and listening, so you can both talk to me anytime. I will always be proud of her, and I will give you strength when you most need it.
I don't expect you to be alone forever. I just want you to promise me that you will be happy. I will always love you and never forget that. The few years we had together were the best years of my life, as short as they were and I know that my last thoughts will have been of you.
With you always
Love
Kate DiNozzo
Putting the letter down, Tony soon noticed tears had made their way down his cheeks. He thought back to what life had been like before that day on Air Force One. He supposed he should have thanked that reporter, as sick as that sounded, for bringing them back together.
Now, however, he had just buried his wife, after Ari had shot her on the rooftop. She shouldn't have even been back in the field officially yet! Only two months previously, she had given birth to their son, Nathan, and had been back at work for a week, complaining that she was missing it too much. He had tried to convince her to stay at home, but she was just too stubborn.
A cry from the other room prompted him to go next door to check on their son. "How can I do this without you Kate?" He asked allowed. In the hallway he spotted Emily hugging her teddy bear. "You ok?" She shook her head. "You wanna sleep in with Daddy tonight? I could use the company." She nodded and walked with him into the nursery.
As they walked up to the crib he knelt down beside it. "Now do you remember what Mummy said about helping me?" She nodded, "Well I'm gonna need a lot more help from now on, since she won't be here to help us." Hearing she won't be back brought more tears to Emily's eyes, but she was determined to remain strong, for Tony.
"Can I help with Naffan?" She asked, quietly. It was the first time she had really spoken since the funeral, two days before, and it shocked him.
Quickly recovering, though, he instructed her to get a bottle out of the fridge. Watching her go, he thought for the first time that things might actually be alright.