Temperance Brennan stood in her office, back facing the door, as she solemnly watched the television in front of her. The volume was turned low so no one else would be disturbed by the noise, but Brennan watched the news intently as she slowly pinned a button to her shirt. She'd done this same thing seven times in the past seven years, but the continued coverage of the horrific events of September 11, 2001 never ever ceased to bring tears to the verge of spilling onto her cheeks.
She still remembered that day and its aftermath, even all these years later. She was sure that the entire event would be burned into her brain for the rest of her life, for it was unlike anything else she'd ever seen in this world. She remembered helping with the cleanup for months after the twin towers crashed to the ground. She remembered how painful it was for her to piece back together the burned bodies of the victims of this horrid attack, and it was one of the very few crime scenes that had truly gotten to her. She remembered exactly how the ash of the buildings burned her eyes and cheeks and lungs, and she remembered how cloudy the world had become as she wept for the victims of this attack as she tried to give them their identities back. This hadn't just been a crime scene. It hadn't just been a time where multiple victims needed to be identified. It was a time where the heart of America had been attacked and innocent citizens were the victims. It had angered and saddened and motivated her beyond what she'd thought she was capable of, and that's why it would be a moment in her life that would stay with her forever.
The American flag button now attached to her shirt, Brennan walked over to the TV and turned it off, not needing to see any more than she'd already had. She swallowed the lump in her throat and breathed deeply to keep her tears from falling. She needed to be strong in order to get through this FBI memorial for the victims. She'd gone every year, and she wasn't about to break the tradition.
"Sweetie?" Brennan faced the doorway as she heard the hesitant voice of her best friend. She looked worried for her friend, as she knew what a hard time the attacks had been for Brennan. "Are you ready to go?"
Brennan nodded in response to her friend's gentle question, joining Angela as they headed to the exit of the lab. "Are you going to be okay?"
"Angela, I've gone to this memorial every year since the first one ever held. I couldn't possibly miss it." Angela nodded, understanding her best friend's dedication. She was one of the most focused and dedicated people that Angela had ever met, and her devotion to helping and supporting her country was one of the most powerful things Angela had ever seen. "Booth said that he's coming this year."
Brennan faced Angela and raised her eyebrows as they made their way to the auditorium. "Really?" Booth had also been severely shaken up over the events of September 11, but for some reason he hadn't been at the memorial services the FBI held every year. He placed flowers at the memorial plaques and prayed for the victims and their families, but for some reason unknown to Brennan, Booth had never attended one of the memorial services.
"Yeah. He said he finally feels ready to come to one. I'm not sure what he meant by it though, but it must have really shaken him up pretty bad if it's affected him this much." Brennan nodded solemnly at her friend as they took their seats. And, sure enough, as Brennan glanced around the room, she found her partner hesitantly standing towards the back of the room. He looked upset and uncomfortable, and it sent another wave of sadness through her to see how pained her partner was.
"Ladies and gentlemen," The audience's attention turned to the podium at the front of the room as the head director of the FBI spoke into the microphone. "If you will all please stand, we will now hold a moment of silence to begin this memorial. It is currently 8:46 AM on the eleventh of September, two thousand and eight. At this exact moment seven years ago, the terrorist attacks against America began in New York City." The introduction ceased and the audience's gaze turned to the large American flag at the front of the room. It was deathly quiet as each person silently thought their prayers and reflections for the victims of the attacks.
After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, the director of the FBI resumed his position at the podium and continued the memorial. "Thank you. As you all know, September 11, 2001 was a tragic day in United States history. Attacks against our country commenced with the destruction of the World Trade Center in New York City, as well as attacks at the Pentagon and in Shanksville, Pennsylvania. We have all gathered here today to remember and honor the victims of these attacks."
Brennan's gaze once again shifted to Booth, who was now looking away from the podium as his eyes glazed over with unshed tears. He was struggling to stay calm, that much was clear, and Brennan watched as he eventually couldn't take it any more and quietly exited the auditorium. Worried about her partner, Brennan too quietly rose from her seat and exited the auditorium, ignoring the questioning glances from Angela.
-o0o-
After a few minutes of searching, Brennan found her partner sitting on a bench in front of a fountain at the front of the building. He had his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes with his fingers and he silently sat alone with his own thoughts. She slowly approached him as she watched him quietly grieve. "Booth?"
He looked up at the sound of her voice, a surprised and questioning look in his red eyes. "Bones? What are you doing here? You should be at the memorial."
Brennan took a seat next to Booth as she listened to his poorly hidden pained voice. "Booth, I know that this is the first time you've come to the memorial. And I saw how upset you are about what happened seven years ago. Something is obviously wrong and I'm worried about you."
He shook his head with a sad smile as his listened to her, not responding to her concern. She took his hand in hers and looked him straight in the eyes, displeased with the fact that he wasn't talking to her. "Booth," Her voice was gentle as she addressed him again, "whatever it is, you can talk to me about it."
He let out a long sigh as he took in his partner's concern. After another few seconds of silence between the two of them, Booth finally caved and spoke to her. "It's just… I lost someone that day. A close friend."
Brennan nodded understandingly. She had sensed that something like this had happened. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I think so. I couldn't come to this memorial for seven years because it was just too painful of a memory. But this year I thought I could handle it, so I think I'm finally ready to talk to someone about it." Brennan squeezed his hand encouragingly as he slowly began to tell her his story. She was still worried about him and wanted to help him, so if listening to his story was what he needed she was more than willing to do so.
"Ray was his name. He was my roommate in college and one of my best friends. We could joke and talk about anything, and I always felt like I didn't deserve him. He was such a good person." He chuckled softly as he remembered his friend. "We stayed in touch even after we graduated. I was his best man when he married Lucy. I was one of the first people he called when his daughter Amy was born. I always thought that we'd be friends forever. Silly, huh?"
Brennan shook her head at his last thought. "No, Booth. It's good that you had such a close friend."
He let out another long sigh as he took a pause in his story. "I remember the day he called me to tell me he'd gotten the job in New York. We'd made a bet over who would get the best job first, and he joked that wanted his money since he'd won. I was so happy for him. He'd gotten a big office on one of the highest floors. It had a great view of the city, and he was so happy. He was so excited about his family's future now that he'd gotten his start in his career."
Booth paused again and the smile slowly faded from his face as he remembered the next part of the story. "I started out like any other normal day. Ray kissed his wife goodbye, said he would see her for dinner, and went to work. I remember seeing the plane crash on the news and I was panicked. I kept telling myself, 'He's gonna be okay. He must have gotten out. He had to get out.' I remember Lucy calling me. She was hysterical and terrified. She couldn't get a hold of him on his work phone or cell, and she was so worried that he hadn't gotten out of the building. I kept telling her that the power lines must be down, that cell service had blacked out because of the ash. I told her that he was going to be fine. He had to have gotten out, and he was just trying to get home. How could I have lied to her like that Bones?"
Brennan shook her head strongly once again. "Booth, you can't blame yourself. You were just as worried as Lucy was. You had to tell yourselves that he'd gotten out and that he was okay. It wasn't a lie, Booth. It was hope, and there's nothing wrong with having hope. Okay?"
Booth's cheeks glistened with the tears he'd finally allowed to silently slip down his cheeks. Brennan's heart sank as she took in his red eyes and pained demeanor. She grasped his hands in hers and continued to try to soothe him. "Booth, you were so brave to come here today. Those attacks affected everyone in this country, and it takes an enormous amount of strength to be able to face the pain of that day. Do you realize the emotional strength you showed today by coming to the memorial? You're honoring and remembering Ray, and you shouldn't feel guilty about anything that happened."
Booth remained silent for a few minutes as he continued to breathe deeply and think to himself. "It's just so unfair. It was just another day, and it robbed Lucy of a husband and Amy of a father. How could it happen, Bones?"
"The how and why aren't important here Booth. They're not important when it comes to remembering the victims of the attacks. All that matters is that they are honored and remembered. They are heroes, and we'll never forget them. That's why this memorial and the memory of that day are so important Booth. It helps us get through each day and helps keep their presence in this world alive."
Booth faced his partner and held her gaze for a few moments, her words began to sink into his consciousness. "Thank you Temperance." His voice was quiet as he spoke her name. "It just hurts so much to remember."
"It hurts everyone to remember it Booth, including me. But as long as we all help each other remember, we'll still be able to get through each day." Booth smiled a small smile at her in silent thanks. He unclasped his hands from hers and wrapped them around her shoulders as he gave her a hug, thankful to have someone to help him get through this tough event in his life. "Thank you so much Temperance."
"You're welcome Booth." They pulled away from each other and their gazes met once again. "Do you think you want to go back inside?"
He nodded after thinking about it for a few seconds. "I think so. We have to remember, right?"
She smiled gently as she took his hand once again. "Right."
-End-