"I want a nook for my birthday."
Karkat spits out the soda he was drinking, a very comical reaction to such a humorless situation. At least to Karkat.
"What the shit-loving fuck, Strider?"
One of the said male's eyebrows rise above his aviators.
"You heard me. They're amazing as fuck man."
Karkat can't believe this. When did Dave find out about nooks and who did he know- wait a minute, did he actually go all the way with Terezi?! Suddenly, rather than embarrassment, Karkat is seething with jealousy and hurt.
"Go ask Terezi." He mumbles. "She seems to be granting full access to hers."
That wasn't a nice thing to say, but who said he was a nice troll? Who else got into her pants?
Dave hums at this, like he's actually thinking about it.
"Really? I didn't know she had one."
Karkat stares at the human with an 'are you kidding me' expression. Okay, maybe he didn't get with Terezi.
Great, now Karkat felt bad about what he just said... Well, great, he had another thing to feel guilty about. Add that to the list.
As he shakes his head and leans against the wall behind him, he's determined to talk the human out of this strange desire.
Did the idiot even know what a nook was?
"We all have one, you brainless tool." He picks up his soda can and sips, eyes trained ahead at the movie neither of them were paying attention to as he thickly gulps down the lemon-lime tasting liquid.
It was a bad idea, agreeing to hang out in Dave's hive. He used the excuse that he got a new TV set and wanted to show it off, but apparently what he wanted was to make Karkat really, really, really fucking uncomfortable. He was succeeding in the latter, because the tiny 24 inch television was pretty pathetic. And Dave's sudden request had made everything worse. It was completely out of the blue, they weren't even talking about birthdays or nooks... In fact a commercial for diapers was playing. Maybe Dave had a thing for children nooks? The thought makes Karkat's lips from a grimace.
"So can I use yours?" Karkat was ripped from his the disturbing theories by the low tone in Dave's voice. He didn't notice him getting so close, but now the blonde was sitting right beside him on the bed, his face only three inches from his Karkat's. The question sent a shiver down the troll's spine, but the words made Karkat blink at him, and then slowly a horrified expression spread on his face.
"W-what?! No! What in gog's green earth made you even consider asking me such an indecent request?!" He barks out, cheeks displaying his blood color. Who dare the human request such a vulgar activity! They weren't even matespirits!
When he tears his eyes from the spot on the wall they were burning into, they can see that Dave looks rather confused. Well, as confused as his shades would let him look.
"Whoa dude, calm down... I just want to read a little... Bro told me about this rad as fuck book and I thought I could-"
"Wait, what? I'm not sure who gave you the wrong instructions, but you can't read a nook..."
At this point both of the boys were confused as fuck. Karkat wonders if the glasses wearing hipster had been hanging out with Gamzee before this. He didn't make any sense at all. Well, less than usual.
"That's sort of the point of them, Karkles." Dave says with a small chuckle, only serving to bamboozle the troll further.
"Um, no... The point is for mating, Dave." A brief moment of silence sweeps over them, lasting for a few solid seconds before Dave erupts into full blown laughter, tear streaming down his cheeks as he fights to regain his breathing.
"Shit! No! Ahaha, dude! I'm talking about the thing you put books on! It's called a nook!"
Karkat's brows furrow at this new discovery.
"It's a human thing." Dave adds, face returning to its poker-ready normal state. Karkat paled. Of course it was. He slaps his face with his hands and groans deeply, red covering every inch of him. Wow, this was beyond awkward.
"I can't... Oh god, did you think...? Oh wow this is fucking gold." Dave pretends to wipe a tear from his eye, which looks kind of weird because his sunglasses are there. He's obviously amused, adding to Karkat's already sky-high shame.
"Shut the fuck up, Strider." And even now the sounds of his favorite romcom can't comfort him. "I hate you so fucking much and I hope you never get that damn device."
Dave feigns hurt, a hand on his chest. "Ouch." However the mock sadness fades away, a sly arrogance takes its place almost instantly. "But-" He swings one of his legs over Karkat's and places his hands on either side of the other's head. "I would love to use your nook."
Karkat's eyes are as big as plates, his mouth open in shock. It snaps close when a sound of arousal slips out. God damn it. He was hoping the Strider didn't hear it, but unfortunately for him the guy had amazing ears. 20/20. Probably, if ears could be measured like that. Dave's grin spreads ever so slightly, indication that he did hear it and was pleased.
"Dude, I can read you like a fucking book."