A/N: All fics posted from this account are authorized reposts from a specific group of writers on AO3. For info on who we are and links to the original AO3 fics, check out our profile! This fic was written by Maddie and Kate.
About halfway through his third glass of wine, Aomine found it very difficult to concentrate on the movie they were watching, especially when Tetsu's lap was so warm and soft and Tetsu was running his fingers through his hair… He wasn't sure what time it was when he woke up, but the sun had set, the movie was over, and Tetsu was sitting cross-legged directly in front of the TV. In his hands a was a giant mug the size of his head... that he had never seen before, where the hell did that come from? "Tetsu…?" he mumbled sleepily.
Kuroko looked up at the sound of his name and smiled brightly at Aomine. "Daiki! You're awake! I tried to tell you about how fast the moon has to move to orbit the Earth, but you were sleeping, so I couldn't talk about space to you, so I let the TV tell me about space instead," he told Aomine proudly, pointing at the screen that was playing a space documentary.
Aomine facepalmed. "...So this is where it comes from. This is where you get all those fucking random-ass space facts when you're drunk."
"Nope. This is my first time watching it!" Kuroko said cheerfully before taking another sip of his drink.
Aomine buried his head in a pillow and yelled "WHAT THE FUCK" into it. Would he never know where Tetsu's drunk space talk came from? He sighed and gave up on figuring it out, again. Otherwise he'd go insane. "...What are you drinking?" Aomine said as he suddenly noticed that whatever was in Tetsu's mug was definitely not the wine they had been drinking.
"I don't know," Kuroko said, looking down at his glass with a slight frown.
"Oh. That's reassuring," Aomine said, sitting up and glancing around to see if he could spot any other bottles.
"I think it's a little of everything we have," Kuroko decided, sounding proud of himself for figuring that out, and looking at Aomine like Aomine should be proud of him as well.
Aomine raised his eyebrows. They had several different kinds of hard liquor in the house. "Tetsu, you can't just mix shit like that, you're gonna get sick, idiot."
Kuroko shook his head. "No I'm not," he denied, taking a large sip to prove his point. "See, I'm fine. No sickness here."
Aomine rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you're fine now. You won't be saying that in a couple hours." He got up off the couch and grabbed the mug from Tetsu, who reached up for it and gave Aomine a pitiful look when he couldn't reach without standing up. Aomine tried to figure out what it was by sniffing it, and then taking a sip. He almost gagged. "Shit, Tetsu, what the fuck is in here?"
"Um." Kuroko's face scrunched up as he tried to think about it. "Stars from space for sure," he decided. "Also, vodka, moonshine, rum, Jack Daniels, and something else that I can't remember the name of because things were starting to look blurry. I think it might have been cough syrup."
"Cough syrup?" was Aomine's first reaction. Then he did a double take. "And since when have we had moonshine? I don't remember either of us buying that."
"I bought it when I went on an adventure after Kise's last party," Kuroko told him with a beaming smile.
"An… adventure…?" Aomine said weakly, picturing drunk Kuroko wandering through the streets and buying alcohol from some guy in an alley. He sighed. He was way too sober for this shit.
"Can I have my mug back?" Kuroko asked, reaching up towards Aomine again and pouting at him.
Aomine very much wanted to say no, but as usual, Kuroko's face was just too damn cute to refuse. "...Only if you drink a whole glass of water first. Okay?"
"I don't want water." Kuroko mumbled, looking at the floor sadly, and letting his arms fall in defeat.
At this point Aomine had too look away to avoid being swayed by the cuteness. "Goddammit Tetsu, I'm gonna pour this entire freakishly large mug full of mystery shit down the drain - "
Kuroko's head snapped up and he wrapped his arms around Aomine's legs, looking up at him with tear filled eyes. "No, Daiki! Don't do that! Please! You can't pour it out! It has space stars in it!" He said as he started to cry on Aomine's jeans.
"Son of a bitch," Aomine swore under his breath. If it had been literally anyone else, he would have zero compunctions about just dumping the entire mug of alcohol on their head and walking away. But this was Tetsu, and he was being cute and crying on him and he really just didn't have the heart to be that much of an asshole… for once. "Tetsu, you can have your damn mug back, okay? But you're going to have a glass of water too, and I don't care whether you want it or not. Got it?"
Kuroko sniffled and nodded in agreement, a few more tears falling, but he didn't let go of Aomine's legs.
Aomine held the mug down within Tetsu's reach in the hopes that he would grab it instead of continuing to cling to his legs.
Kuroko leaned up to try and be able to sip from the mug while still holding Aomine, but it wasn't really working.
Aomine started laughing loudly at Kuroko's sad attempt at reach the mug with his mouth, and he had to lean over and set the mug down on the coffee table before he dropped it.
Kuroko looked longingly at the mug and then back at Aomine, clearly conflicted on which he should pursue.
Aomine saw Kuroko's indecision, and leaned down to ruffle his hair affectionately. "Tetsu… the space stars need you. Go to them." He barely contained another fit of laughter.
Kuroko suddenly got a look of determination on his face and released Aomine. "When you go to Mars for water, please make sure it isn't frozen." Kuroko told him, before half crawling and half rolling over to the table with his mug, making grabby hands at it until he was finally able to reach it and bring it to his lips.
"I'll do my best, Tetsu," Aomine called over his shoulder as he went to grab a large glass of water from the kitchen. He returned as quickly as he could. It'd been a long time since he'd seen Kuroko this drunk, and he didn't completely know what to expect, so he figured leaving him alone for too long would be a bad idea. When he returned, Kuroko had returned to his starting place - sitting in unhealthy proximity to the TV, clutching his giant mug. "Here you go, Tetsu. Drink some," Aomine said, handing him the glass of water.
"Okay." Kuroko agreed, pouring it into the mug and taking a long sip.
"But - no, Tetsu - you - " Aomine sighed. "I… guess that's better than nothing?"
Kuroko grinned at him and happily drank more. "Mars water and space stars and the extra vodka that I put in while you were in the kitchen." He almost sang after another large sip.
"...Tetsu. Tetsu why?" Aomine sank to his knees, and then also just sort of laid on the ground and banged his head on the floor repeatedly.
"Daiki, do you want some space drunk?" Kuroko asked, holding out the mug to him.
"Yes. Yes I do." Aomine sat up and reached for the mug and just fucking chugged as best as he could. He could not handle this sober, he just couldn't. ...And then he almost gagged, even at the watered-down version of Tetsu's diabolical concoction, and looked around for something with which to wash it down. There was only his half-full glass of wine from earlier. He drank it, and it tasted like a sugary children's fruit juice drink in comparison.
Kuroko frowned at him. "You didn't like it." He said, taking it back and holding the mug protectively, stroking it a few times and whispering things about how 'I still like you' and 'you're wonderful, he's just mean' to it.
For one wild moment, the alcohol went to Aomine's head and he felt jealous of the stupid mug. Then he mentally slapped himself in the face… no, wait, no he actually did it. He actually slapped himself in the face. "Well, I…" He tried to come up with something to say. "...Sorry, Tetsu, I guess I'm just not astronaut enough for that stuff."
Kuroko reached out and patted his face. "Then watch the movie, Daiki. Watch the movie and learn things. Or go on an adventure with me. We can learn things . . . together." He moved the hand on Aomine's face to over his heart. Well, it should have been over his heart, but he was drunk, so it was more on his shoulder.
Even though he was thoroughly exasperated at this point, Aomine couldn't help but find this extremely endearing, and he smiled, grabbing Kuroko's hand. "Wanna come sit on the couch, together, so we can actually be comfortable while we watch it?"
Kuroko nodded and got up. And then promptly fell over into Aomine's lap, completely unconscious.
"Aww shit." Aomine said, carefully making sure that Kuroko's head didn't slide off his lap and hit the floor. Then, he remembered the mug, and looked up just in time to watch it fall to the floor and crack in half, spilling its vile contents all over the rug. "Awwww SHIIIIIT!" And he started swearing under his breath, and didn't really stop as he lifted Kuroko up into his arms and carried him to their bedroom.
Kuroko wanted to die. His head hurt. His stomach hurt. Everything hurt, and someone needed to put him out of his misery.
And it seemed like that was the toilet's job, because he ran to the bathroom to empty his stomach as soon as he was awake, crashing into a wall on the way because his vision was still blurry.
Aomine woke up with a jolt when he heard a loud thump from nearby, closely followed by the sound of vomiting. "Tetsu?" he called as he got up out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. "Are you oka - oh."
Kuroko had just finished puking for the third time and was now laying on the floor, curled up into a ball crying. "Why did you let me drink, Daiki? Why? I'm in so much pain. Everything hurts." He whined weakly, voice raspy from puking and sobbing.
"I didn't let you - " Aomine began indignantly, then cut himself off as he realized he kind of did. He sighed. "...Be right back," he muttered, walking out.
"You're leaving me?!" Kuroko tried to shout after him, but it just came out a whisper because his throat was too raw.
"I said I'll be right back," Aomine called while he filled a glass with water, grabbed some aspirin, and returned. "See? Here I am." He set the glass and pills down on the counter, and reached down to help Kuroko sit up.
Kuroko started crying harder when Aomine tried to move him, and clung onto him begging him to stop because it hurt to move.
Aomine frowned, and tried to compromise by maneuvering Kuroko's head onto his lap. He ran his fingers through Kuroko's hair. "Hey, Tetsu. Hey," he murmured. "You're gonna be okay. I have some aspirin and water for you. Do you want it now or do you wanna wait?"
He shook his head. "I think I'll puke if I try to drink anything." He said sadly. He wanted the pain meds, but he was terrified of the idea of puking again.
"Well, I mean, it's probably better if you just get it all out, but… let's see how you feel in a few minutes," Aomine replied, settling down and preparing to spend several minutes just silently stroking Kuroko's hair.
After another round of vomiting into the toilet Kuroko ended up laying on the floor again, because it was too much effort to move back to Aomine's lap. "Can you bring me a pillow? I want to sleep, but I don't want to move." Kuroko said, sounding utterly miserable.
The idea of Kuroko sleeping in the bathroom made Aomine want to laugh, but he held it back. "Alright," he said, fetching a pillow from the bed and carefully placing it under Kuroko's head. He settled down next to Kuroko and gently rubbed his back.
"I don't want to get drunk ever again." Kuroko told him. "Why would you let me drink that much? What did I even drink?"
"Because you're too damn adorable for your own good. And stars from space, according to you," Aomine answered, in order.
"I don't feel adorable right now." Kuroko muttered.
Aomine grinned. "You kind of still are though."
"You're a terrible person. There should be nothing adorable about how much pain I'm in." Kuroko tried to ignite pass Aomine, but it was more like he poked him because he didn't have the energy.
Aomine caught the slow-moving hand, kissed it, then released it. "Of course not. It's more like… you're adorable in spite of how much pain you're in."
Kuroko wondered if he would find that sweet if he weren't crying from pain at the moment. He decided it didn't matter since he was, and just tried to bury his face in the pillow and forget everything.
Aomine rested his head against the bathroom wall and closed his eyes and resolved to find the moonshine and get rid of it. Maybe he'd give it to Kise, that might be funny.