"Enough teasing, Jack," Ianto rasped, his voice rough with need.

Jack froze mid-lick, and had to remind himself that a few preliminaries still had to be sorted before 'teasing' fully ceased. Jack flicked a glance up at Ianto's eyes and it did nothing for his determination. Ianto was so hot, naked and wanton as he was, that it was almost painful.

"Ianto…," Jack breathed, making his way back up Ianto's body to kiss him thoroughly while he rummaged blindly through the bedside drawer for a bottle of lube.

"Jack," Ianto murmured, threading his fingers through Jack's hair. "Come on."

"Keen, are you?" Jack grinned, popping the cap and dispensing some of the cream. "Oh, baby, don't worry. I'll take good care of you."

"Yeah, Jack. Yeah…," Ianto sighed, feeling Jack's fingers preparing him.

"Be patient, you eager minx," Jack snickered. "I promised I'd take care -"

"Jack… um…. Jack… stop a minute."

Jack pulled his hand away, concerned. "What? What is it?"

"Doesn't feel right… something's off."

"What do you mean? Ianto, what's wrong?" It was far from their first time together, and Ianto seemed so ready only moments ago. What could have happened –?

"It… it burns. What the hell is it?"

"Burns? Yan…. It's nothing different, we always use -"

"Fuck, Jack! It's… oh, god… it really burns!"

"Have you developed an allergy?" Jack wondered, pulling back a bit as Ianto clasped his hands between his legs in agony.

"I don't bloody know!" Ianto shouted. "I just know it's fucking awful!"

"I'm sorry, Yan. I just… it's the same stuff…." Jack fished around in the bedsheets for the tube he'd dropped there. "Uh…."

"What?"

"Um…."

"What?"

"Well, I – uh – maybe it's not the same. I think I kinda, um, grabbed the wrong tube."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"This is… um… capsicum cream, actually."

"You what?!"

"That would explain the burning."

"What in the fucking hell did you do you to me?"

Jack took a deep breath. "I think… well, apparently, I appear to have accidentally grabbed the muscle cream, instead of, ya know, the actual lube…."

"What the fuck? You fucking idiot!"

Jack sat there in bed, pouting guiltily as Ianto hurried to the loo and turned on the cold water tap.

"I'm really sorry, Ianto," Jack said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You never do!" Ianto snapped.

Jack was still feeling the burning guilt by the time Ianto returned to the bedroom, glaring.

"Is it better?" Jack asked quietly.

"Slightly," Ianto huffed.

"I'm really sorry, Ianto," Jack said again. "Really. I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. I just…. Please forgive me?"

Ianto frowned deeply but said nothing as he gingerly climbed back into bed.

"Ok," Jack whispered eventually. "I'll just head back…. I'm sorry."

Ianto grabbed Jack's arm as he moved to get out of bed. "Where do you think you're going?"

Jack shrugged. "Back to the Hub?"

"Oh, I don't think so. You made me miserable, but you're also the only one who's going to make me feel better right now."