Spoiler warning: Events covered from end of SEED to Phase 31 or Destiny.
Summary: What you desire may lay at the end of the path you didn't take. But the path that you didn't take may as well never have existed.
THE PATH CHOSEN
By MapleRose
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"So this is where you're hiding," she smiled at the young boy staring into the depth of the ocean. He didn't answer.
"What's wrong Kira-kun?" she asked, noticing his troubled expression.
He still didn't answer, and she didn't want to push the matter, so she turned to the ocean, waiting for him to respond.
This boy that she met in Heliopolis, he had grown. He was no longer the awkward and shy boy of two years ago. No, he was much more sure of himself and full of purpose, or so he looked.
"It's just that," his sudden voice startled her at bit. She turned to his with a reassuring smile, waiting for him to go on.
"What are we doing Murrue-san?" the boy was looking at the ocean instead of her.
"I thought, I thought that when I got on the Freedom for the first time, I had a clear idea of what we should be fighting for. But now," he looked down, "Now I'm not sure anymore."
"Hmm," she sensed that he had more to say.
"I wanted to prevent a war from happening, and I don't want anyone to die. That's what I thought when I went on the battlefield. But it seems that all we're doing is causing chaos and confusion, and it seems that more lives are lost due to our intervention. And," the young Coordinator struggled a bit, "and in the end, we weren't able to prevent what Cagalli had feared. It all seems so pointless! Why is it so hard to do the right thing!"
He hit his fist on the glass in frustration. He was surprised by the gentle hand on his shoulder.
"What you desire may lay at the end of the path you didn't take. But the path that you didn't take may as well never have existed."
"We're only human, Kira-kun. We have no way of knowing the future. We can only choose the path that seems to be right at the time, and later, if we find that we are on the wrong path, we may regret it, cry a bit, but that's life. We can't go back and changed the past, no matter how much we want to."
Kira noticed a tinge of sadness in her eyes, and he knew what she was thinking. Murrue saw him looking at her, and gave him an encouraging smile.
"It's hard to know what the right thing is, especially since we're in a war. The path we chose may be the most difficult, and in the end, it may have been the wrong one. It seems that what we're doing right now is in vain, but how will we know if we don't even try? We have no way of knowing what would have happened if we didn't intervene. We may not have been able to prevent the battle, and people may have been killed due to our intervention, but you also have to remember that your actions also saved people."
Kira smiled a bit, grateful for her reassurance, but that smile faded as he thought back to his meeting with Athrun.
"I never thought I'd be fighting Athrun again, but—" he broke off, searching for the right words.
"Are we mistaken? What if Athrun was right, that the Chairman isn't wrong, and Lacus was targeted by mistake?"
"I can't tell you that Kira-kun." Murrue answered softly. "But I believe that to protect someone precious to you is never mistaken or foolish."
"Eh?" Kira was surprised at her words.
"I think you can love the world because there is someone out there who's precious to you. That's why we try so hard, and that's why we fight, in order to protect that someone," she looked down, smiling sadly. "Even though you may think the action was foolish or mistaken at the time, all you really wanted was for that someone to be there for you."
"Murrue-san…" Kira noticed her sad smile, but he knew there was nothing he could do or say make her feel better.
"I'm sure Athrun-kun is fighting for the same reason, to protect what's important to him." She gave an assuring grin at the young Coordinator. "Both you and Athrun-kun are good people, and that makes the situation more difficult. But I'm sure one day you and Athrun-kun will be able to work together again. So until then, don't be so hard on yourself, you're not alone." She smiled and gently ruffled his hair.
"Thank you Murrue-san."
AN: this was inspired by that quote in italics (said by Rau), as well as Murrue's conversation with Kira in Phase 31 and her words to Talia. I really like the relationship between Murrue and Kira, especially in Destiny. It seems that while they respect each other, they do take advice and listen to each other's suggestions.