In-chapter warnings: none applicable
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"Nights were the hardest. /p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"Joaquín laid staring up at the ceiling, picking idly at the bedclothes. The ceiling fan blades turned lazily, but he didn't truly see them. His mind was exactly seven thousand, four hundred thirty-one miles away. /p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"Beside him, Ayame sighed in her sleep, shifted and wriggled under the blankets. Joaquín started to look at her out of the corner of his eye, but stopped himself when he remembered that he was still getting used to not having the vision in that eye. Instead, he turned his head and watched her steady breathing, almost envious of her and wanting to be in her place. He immediately regretted the thought and tried to pull it back in—for him to be in her place, she would have to be in his. As miserable as he was, he couldn't bear the thought of putting Ayame through his hell./p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"He sighed and turned to stare up at the ceiling again. He was lying on his back and it wasn't comfortable. He started to turn on his side, and a sudden overwhelming rush of vulnerability forced him back down. span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"You're being a fucking idiot/span, he mentally chastised. span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Nothing will happen if you get comfortable./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"But what if it did? Danger could come as easily to Stockton, California, as it did to Fallujah—and if it did, who would take care of Ayame?/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"That's stupid and you know it. /spanHis hands clenched into fists. span style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: oblique; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"Nothing's coming—and if something happened, 'Yame can take care of herself. She's tough./span/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"But was it worth the risk? Who would look at Ayame, who was small and quiet and unassuming, and know that she could and would defend and care for herself?/p
p style="border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 15.1199998855591px; font-family: 'Lucida Grande', 'Lucida Sans Unicode', 'GNU Unifont', Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif; vertical-align: baseline; list-style: none; margin: 1.286em auto; padding: 0px; line-height: 1.5; color: #001521;"He sighed again, slowly reaching out and taking Ayame's hand in his. The feel of her fingers in his grounded him, but only slightly, and had little effect on the fact that despite his exhaustion, he wasn't tired. Nights were the hardest, and this was shaping up to be no exception./p