The early dawn light shone through the open window, the cool air brushed my face making my eyes flutter open. I slowly lifted the covers of my body careful not to wake the sleeping form next to me. I walked across the small room, picking up the discarded clothes of the floor. I slipped on my jeans and metallica shirt making my way towards the door.

I saw the sun rising behind the gray clouds, I began walking slowly, taking slow drags of my burning cigarette. The moments of previous night entering my mind with every drag of the substance, I sighed as I ran my hand through the messy hair atop my aching head.

I found myself at the wooden bridge overlooking the whole river, our bridge. I began thinking of my youth, most of it spent here, with her and Hemmingway. I sat down letting air fill my lungs, trying to empty the sorrow, the pain that existed there. I could not help but think about how time had passed since I was last here. I reminisced about a boy, his leather jacket and bad attitude romancing a beautiful angelic girl. I sighed once again, standing up, making my way of my old escape with its faded memories, and broken promises of an eternal love.

I dreaded going back to her, this was her second day with me, she was able to get away, that was our relationship, nothing but stolen moments. I wanted nothing more than to climb atop my bike and drive off, forgetting her, but god knows no matter how far I go, who I try to replace her with, she is forever with me, forever my soul.

She is apart of me, a dream, a life I will always need, nothing will ever change that.

I reached the house, a faint smile playing on my pale face. I looked over at the oak tree still standing after all this time. Memories of climbing it flooding mind, I would fall onto her bedroom floor, hearing her stifled giggles as I tired to appear cool.

I walked through the door, careful not to make any noise. I crept back into the bedroom to find her putting on my shirt. I let a grin spread across my face. She looked so incredibly beautiful, just being in my shirt. She smiled at me, her blue eyes shone brightly, but I knew behind them lay the truth, she was just as fucked up as I was, she was just as hurt, pained and alone as me.

We were the reason for each other's pain.

I saw her step out of the bathroom, she had washed away my smell, my lips on hers, she had let it drip away from her, down the drain. I scanned her body, she saw me and let a deep red come across her face. She was so innocent. Always and forever. She walked briskly into the bedroom, closing the door behind her with a small thud.

She emerged a bit later dressed no longer in my shirt that had left her looking small and frail. I tried to look into her crystal blue eyes, I desperately wanted to find a small hint in them, anything that said there was a chance for a happily ever after. Instead I looked down, I found my answer, the diamond ring lied perfectly on her finger.

My heart had died a long time ago, but something in me actually stung, I felt a pang deep in my chest, I couldn't breath, I was struggling to fill my lungs with something. She must have felt me looking, she quickly covered her finger. I forced my eyes away from the torture that another man placed upon me.

I looked up, into her eyes, seeing the suddenness in them, I rememberd a time long ago when her eyes were filled with hope, happiness and love. I saw the tear roll down her porcelain skin.

"I'm sorry Tommy, her voice was barely above a whisper. All I wanted to do was hold her in my arms, feel her hands around my neck, just be there for her, but I refused too. Can't she understand that she hurts me beyond reason? How dare she be here with that ring on? Cant she realize I would give up the world to feel her kiss? The anger suddenly enveloped my body, I looked at her, the woman I loved with hate present in every inch of my eyes.

"Get out Tracy" My voice was laced with bitter cold, as was my soul. She placed this pain on me. She hurts me to the point were I cant live my life, she slowly kills me. I hate her, she is my life I love her beyond compare.

She walked over to me, she placed a chaste kiss on my cheek, walked over to the door she uttered the words that left me curled up in a ball, tears falling from my eyes for the life I so desperately wanted, I needed her so much.

"I love you so much Tommy, please don't ever forget that".