Summary: Sirius always gets the girl he wants but does it apply to a certain girl? Will a certain girl fall for her sworn enemy? CANON or maybe AU? You see...
Claimer: nothing you recognize. Isn't that a shocker??
Dedication:
Marauding Mara, for an excellent story, My Everlasting Love, and for the fact she always goes to my story when I ask her to and is brutally honest, which brings me back to the ground and keeps me wanting to improve and get everything just right!! Thanks Marauding Mara!!
And Angelhalo101 for having the name Jessalyn in her story My Best Friend's Sister. It sparked me for this story. So thank you Angelhalo101!!
And mysterious victoria and GiddyGirlie! Thanks for your support! And anyone who reviews or puts me on alerts, or favorites! Here's to you!!
OC character description - Jessalyn - Metamorphmagus, Gryffindor...you'll see the rest!
Without further ado...
To Be Or Not To Be
May 24, 1977
"Come on! Give it up! Stop playing hard to get Mallory. You are so immature. Just say yes, you know you want to." the famous Sirius Black proclaimed to not-so-perfect Jessalyn Mallory. Her expression suddenly turned cold.
"It's really none of your business Black." she said as cold as an ice queen. Sirius winced at her but more so at the fact that she had called him Black after all the friendship progress they had made that year. Sure it was their seventh year and, chances were, that they would never see each other after Hogwarts. Now they were preparing for N.E.W.T tests and everyone was getting more and more stressed and now starting to take it out on each other, that meaning fights were breaking out everywhere you looked, even the best of friends. "Anyway, I'm in love with Marley so just mind your own business. I can't stand you anyway, so why would I want to spend time with someone I hate?" she said flicking her now blonde hair over her shoulder as she marched away, her pure-blood status obviously showing in her strut. She was a seventh year Gryffindor who Sirius Orion Black was infatuated with, for some odd reason. She was a Metamorphmagus and her hair changed accordingly. Her real hair color was indeed blonde but it also turned blonde when she was angry and upset or ready to murder, in general.
Sirius leaned against the cold wall and sunk down. He cared about her like no one ever before, he didn't understand why but he did. And he knew he had a few months left to get her and her long-time boyfriend broken up. He would succeed, he had to, it was his last hope. He sighed again as he ran a hand through his chin length hair. He knew it would be near impossible but he would succeed, if James could get Lily after seven years of her hating him, he could get a girl that could mildly stand him.
Jessalyn's POV
Once she could no longer see Sirius Black when she turned around, she ran. She didn't know where her legs were taking her, she just hoped she would run somewhere far away from Sirius and the Marauders. She needed to get away from them all. She had to.
Suddenly, she realized, she was in front of the Ravenclaw's Common Room. She knocked on the door, praying that Marley was there, sitting near enough to hear her desperate knock. His best friend opened it, she sighed with relief.
"Oh, it's Marley's ditsy girlfriend. I suppose you want in." he said. He always has had a problem, I don't know why, I never did anything to him. My
"Oh Marley!" I said, seeing him, running faithfully into his arms. He, however looked rather angry, especially since he pulled me out the of his Common Room.
"I thought I told you to never come to my Common Room." that had always confused me, what if I was like dying, I still couldn't come?
"Sorry but I really needed-"
"No excuses." he said as we continued walking down the empty corridor. He suddenly stopped and had an evil glint in his eyes. "You weren't dying though, so it gives you no right what so ever to be anywhere near my Common Room. It looks like I'll have to punish your pretty little face, won't I?" he said smirking, an evil glint lurking in his eyes.
Meanwhile...
Sirius' POV
He knew it. He felt it. Something was wrong. He checked his pockets for that one thing he always carried and made sure he had with him. He cursed aloud when he realized it wasn't with him. He ran a hand through his now messy hair before he took off running in the opposite direction that Jessalyn had taken. He ran at full speed one thing running through his mind, something is wrong, I can feel it, I need that piece of parchment. I need it! He finally made it to the Gryffindor Common Room and ran up the Dormitory steps.
"Padfoot, mate..." Sirius didn't stop to listen he kept going taking the steps three at a time. He had to get to the stupid piece of parchment. As he was searching for it James was at his side. "What are you looking for?!" James asked as their belongings were thrown apart and around the room.
"She's in trouble I can feel it. I need the effin' map! I can't find her without the map, now where is there effin' map at!?" I said frustrated at the fact she would be dead before I could find her.
"Okay, I see it's an emergency so I will tell you Remus has it, he's doing rounds on the seventh floor, and I will so kindly save the questions for later." he finished but Sirius was already out the door. Not often Sirius lives up to his name, James thought as Sirius disappeared through the Common Room door, no doubt after Remus and the Map.
I need to find Remus John Lupin! Where is he when I really need him?! Sirius thought conveniently as he ran into someone.
"Watch where you're going dude. I could've... REMUS!! I've been looking for you everywhere, I need the map, it's an emergency!" Remus looked completely confused but handed his mate the map, nonetheless. "Thanks Moony, I swear I'll explain later." Remus had opened his mouth to see that Sirius was already down the staircase. He shook his head knowingly. Knowing Padfoot he's probably worried that Jessalyn is snogging Marley, Remus though wryly.
Sirius paused for moment then said aloud "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good." Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs immediately appeared. "Aha!" he said as he found the dots Jessalyn Mallory and Marley Corner together, on the sixth floor. "Mischief managed." he said as the map disappeared and he slipped it quickly into his pocket as he ran as fast as he could to get to the sixth floor, just to be sure she was alright. He abruptly stopped when he saw two figures in the moon's shadow. He realized with an unpleasant jolt that they were, indeed, Marley and Jessalyn. Then, with a much more unpleasant jolt...
Jessalyn's POV
I hadn't realized Marley lifted his arm to punch me. I was hit squarely me the jaw and the pain, the pain was surreal. I gasped at his force which sent me tumbling to the cold hard floor. I could tell he was smirking with pride at his accomplishment. I so wish I could slap him right now. Then, as if the slap wasn't enough, he kicked me right in the gut, aka my ribs and with a horrible jolt I realized a few ribs had loudly cracked. Then he was about to kick me again, I close my eyes tightly, but just as his toes grazed my face it just...it just...stopped. I managed to listen and what I heard startled me. My savior was cussing Marley out saying such horrid things that if he ever came near me or touched me again he would be dead. I also heard a few slaps go around, then the sound of running, fading away. The figure cupped my face as he murmured to me soothing words.
"Shh, I promise it'll be okay. Just remember that I love you Jessalyn Mallory. I really truly love you." she sighed happily and then did what she never thought she'd do she leaned in to kiss, very passionately, the last person she'd ever expected. Sirius Black. She hastily broke away.
"Sirius...I don't know if I can do this...with you of all people. You broke my heart once, I don't know if I want my heart broken again." I spoke in a weak, vulnerable voice that didn't sound like my own. But for some reason, beyond me I felt safe, secure in his arms. A feeling I wanted for the rest of my life. "I'll give you one more chance Sirius. But, this time I want it to be different than last time. Please promise me. Okay?" he nodded and she happily scooted into his lap and rested her head on his chest.
April 1, 1981 (April Fool's Day)- Jessalyn's POV
Jessalyn sighed as she sat in the uncomfortable chair in the boring, white room. Why do I have to be here I have never been sick, until now anyway. Sirius, now my four year boyfriend, had said he was really worried about me. First I started getting migraines, at first they weren't bad but they progressed to getting so bad that I wouldn't be able to walk and even as far as being on the verge of passing out. And Sirius even said I wasn't myself. He had specifically said my normal, relaxed, and affectionate self was replaced by some stressed out neat freak who wouldn't cuddle like I used to. The first ten times I blew him off, which was also completely unlike me. Then the next couple times we had gotten into huge fights. I was getting tore up about me and Sirius' rapidly suffering relationship. Finally, about the twentieth we'd gotten into a fight over it and a month later, he had finally threatened to break up with me. That was one thing entirely different. That was one thing I couldn't take and that was why I was here because I had to choose St. Mungos or knowing Sirius. I obviously choose the later. So I was sitting here, waiting for the Healers final diagnosis. Did I have Dragon Pox? A million sicknesses went through and across my head. Finally the Healer arrived, not that I noticed her, 'cause I didn't, I was too busy thinking to pay any attention until she cleared her throat, much like that pain-in-the-arse Umbridge.
"Yes?" I said quite pettily and snippity, snappity. I quite enjoyed it since it was Umbridge's favourite niece. I was getting mad, they shouldn't make witches like me wait. Haven't they learned their lesson? Apparently...NOT!
"Well, I'm sorry I took so long but I do have to do a proper diagnosis! At least I, unlike some people want to make a correct diagnosis. Al least I don't want to lie to you that you're knocked up even though you are! HMPH!" WHAT! She HAD to be lying the was no way I could be...be...be PREGNANT!! But, yet, that was the diagnosis. The mood swings, the headaches, and the not wanting to show how much we care for each other. It all fit...like a jigsaw puzzle. It was great that me and Sirius would be...oh sweet Merlin...PARENTS!! I would be a mum and he a dad. I have got to get out of here as soon as possible.
With that I ran out of there as fast as I could. As soon as I got outside the building, I got out of there and popped straight home. To our apartment. Hmm, we'll have to get a house soon...STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BRAIN!!
"Jessa? That you?" a familiar voice called from the kitchen. Oh fricking Merlin, will Sirius even stay with me or will he leave me to be a young, single parent and have a child that never heard of it's dad? I don't want a life like that for my child! What would I do, marry Remus?! He would be there, although I don't think he'd like to marry me in so many words! "Jessa, what's wrong?" Sirius asked from the kitchen walking into the living room, where I was at. Without really thinking this is what I blurted out:
"Oh, nothings wrong! I'm just knocked up that's all. No big deal. And you're going to leave me and the baby! Other than that I'm just peachy!" I said rather sarcastically. I quickly realized my words and that it wasn't in my brain. I looked to see Sirius' face go from shocked, startled, and surprised to relieved and entirely happy for me, for us. I was relieved but what would other people think?
"You're not April fooling me, are you?" he asked stupidly
"No you prat!"
"Honey, that's, um...surprising but I guess it isn't a bad thing. A baby would be great, right?" Sirius said, wrapping his arms around me letting his hands rest upon my stomach and I put my hands over his as he rested his head upon my shoulder.
"I just don't know about having a baby in the middle of a war and...about us being parents." I said nervously.
"Don't worry, love!" he said more lively and confident than before. " You will be a great mum and more importantly is we will be together every step if the way. Okay?" I nodded my head. "And I won't leave you! How could you think such a thing?!" he asked outrageously. Or jokingly. Or both. I really cannot tell.
"Hormones, love, hormones. You will have to deal with that and cravings!" I told him loud and clear. "Just like James had to do with Lily." I stated and he groaned.
"You cannot be serious." he said, more like moaned.
"Nope, you are!" I started laughing, I love hormones and cravings already, although I doubt Sirius will.
"Haha, you made a punny! See, I can do that to!" he said triumphantly. "I love you Jessalyn Mallory. I do now and I always will."
"This will be a long nine months." I muttered. "But, yes I love you too Siri." with that I spun him around to hug me and then we shared a light kiss. "Well now that that's cleared up, can you get me some chocolate and please don't tell me we have to steal some from Moony..."
Oct. 31, 1981
Jessa's POV
Something isn't right. I can feel it. I thought before I tried to get up. It didn't work to well though. I was now seven months into having a baby boy! Yes, boy we went to a muggle doctor to find that out. Anyway, it was about seven o'clock in the evening. Sirius should be around here somewhere.
Lily and James and baby Harry had gone into hiding. Sirius was going to be secret keeper but at the very last minute they all changed to Wormtail. Something didn't feel right. Something was going to happen and I had a feeling it wasn't going to be good.
"SIRIUS!" I finally called after about an hour of trying to get up. He came running in with he offensive stance and wand drawn, what an auror.
"WHERE ARE THE DEATH EATERS!? WHOSE IN TROUBLE!? IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE BABY!?"
"No Sirius, no Death Eaters, no trouble, except you, and no nothing is wrong with William." Sirius looked grouchy.
"Well, what do you want then?" he asked irritably. "And it's baby Padfoot!" He added exasperatedly.
"Honey I cannot get up!" I said before he picked me up, bridal style, and stood me on the ground gently, as if I was a piece of very delicate glass that was super collectible and was worth the world.
"Sorry Jessa, I kind of have this really bad feeling something bad is going to happen. I can feel it and it scares me to death just like lovin' you and the idea of being a father. I don't want everything that I have finally learned to accept and want to be taken away in a flash and I could've prevented it." Sirius had this look on his face which I saw my feeling reflected on his face.
"They'll be okay Sirius." I tried to be reassuring but I'm sure I wasn't.
"You really think so?" he asked me and when I saw the vulnerable expression that masked his face I couldn't lie.
"Siri, something is wrong. I can just feel it."
"You don't understand Jessalyn!" Sirius said as he slammed his fist on the end table.
"What, that James is like your brother, Harry your Godson, and the fact that Lily is like you sister. I do understand Sirius, believe it or not, I do have feelings. Lily was there for me when I needed her and now she's stuck away and so am I. You don't understand, Sirius. You really don't." I said rather coldly. "If you are so worried something is wrong, go. Go and check. Put your mind to ease because I know it won't be rested 'til you see for yourself." I sighed as he ran out of the room as I tried to follow just as quick.
"Thanks honey!" he called as he apparated out. This would not end good.
Wait I remembered something. Peter was always missing Order meetings and he was hardly ever home and...with a horrified shriek I realized he hasn't wore a short sleeve shirt since Hogwarts and the spy was one of us in the immediate circle. It wasn't Remus like Sirius suspected, wait Peter has been the secret keeper and...holy Merlin. He's sold them to Voldemort. And that's why I've had such a bad feeling and Sirius will be blamed, not Peter. That stupid little rat.
I then muttered a few efficient curses to enhance my wand to make it temporarily un-defeat-able and apparated for Godric's Hollow but deep down inside I knew it was too late. What I saw when I got there astonished me. I saw Sirius fight over Harry, against Hagrid but Sirius lost and then Sirius handed over his motorbike to Hagrid.
The house was ruins and I knew that the prophecy had come true. I was relieved to see Harry but I had was more worried about my friends. His parents. What would become of Harry with no living relatives, other than Lily's muggle sister?
I saw Sirius walk over toward the house and stop at the front door, and bow his head.
"Sirius?" I called softly and I heard my voice wavering worse than the wind. He looked up and saw my figure standing and came running to me and embraced me, and since I am about as tall as he is, he started crying on my shoulder and I knew they were gone. But now I had to be strong, for Sirius. I could grieve later. Now Sirius needed me.
"It'll be okay Sirius, it's not your fault. It's the spy, Pettigrew. I figured it out that he was the spy. He sold them to Voldemort." Sirius was saying things like it was his fault, he should've known, and said he should've trusted Remus more.
"Sirius, I'm going to say good-bye. I just...need to." I thought my tears were threatening to escape. I needed to see Lily for the last time. And James. He always said he'd die for Lily and Harry. He probably gave himself to Voldemort to get Lily and Harry time to get out. I slowly walked into the ruins of my best friend's house.
I looked over and saw James laying on the floor, in front of the stairs, which is the quickest route to Harry's room. I looked at his face. His hazel eyes were open and staring lifelessly into space and his glasses on his face lopsided, as usual. His expression was a mixture of anger, determination, and love for his wife and son radiating off of him. I fell down to the ground on my knees and starting crying hysterically. I started saying things like "Why did it have to be you guys?" and "What did you guys do to deserve this?" I was so upset. I somehow managed to get up and walk up the stairs and straight into Harry's room, where I saw Lily thrown in front of the crib to protect baby Harry. Her emerald eyes open and alert, pride showing, ready to die for her son. I noticed her hand crumpled around something, I opened her hand and retrieved the piece of paper and it read:
Dear Jessa,
I know it will be you who will read it because you are very observant. I want you to raise Harry. I need someone I trust. I know I won't make it out alive and I'm not scared about it one bit. I'm ready to die for Harry and I'm sure I'll be joining James, I couldn't live without him and he without me. Tell everyone how much I loved them and this is what I have to say to everyone.
Padfoot: Whatever idiotic thing he does, NEVER EVER let it affect you're family, whatever you do. Don't let him mess anything up, GOT IT??
Jessa and William/Padfoot Jr: Take care and good luck with life. I really wish you guys the best of luck with your family. I hope you name the baby William after your father. William Sirius.
Moony: I knew he wasn't the spy. Tell him to take care and that it WASN'T Sirius' fault. It was Peter, tell him we switched to Peter, please. Please tell him to settle down with someone and have a family, it would do him well.
Older Harry: I know Harry will have some rough time without us but tell him it's how it has to be. Tell him James and me loved him with our hearts and souls. And he should never doubt himself. He can and will do anything he puts his mind to.
I love you all and so did James. You all take care and if James makes it tell him to be strong, for me.
Love, Lily
I couldn't take it. I started crying again. You would have to if your best friends would have just been murdered. After what felt like an eternity I made my way down the stairs to see Sirius bowing his head in front of James, his long hair covering his face.
"Sirius?" I called gently my tears coming again. Sirius looked up his face tear-stained and came over to me and he held me. I couldn't be stronger. I needed Sirius to help me get through this. I reluctantly broke away and gave the crumpled paper to Sirius so he could read it. His eyes started scanning the paper, his tears came as he read Lily's last words. Some things he laughed gently at, through his tears, others made him cry all the harder.
When he was finished, he held me in his arms and whispered in my ear, "William James Sirius Black." I managed to smile through my own tears.
"It's perfect." I said. We stayed there for some time and started to share sad and funny stories of our late friends. We cried through it all. When we left Dumbledore arrived, he had given us our time to grieve, we shared sad expressions before getting ready to apparate we both said "goodbye, Lily and James Potter the best friends anyone could have asked for. Love you." and we left. We left to make plans on how to deal with Peter Pettigrew: number one pest, operation extermination.
Nov. 4, 1981 - Sirius' POV
I sighed as I realized the truth, what was going to happen to the Marauders. Remus would think Jessa and me betrayed him and Peter and the Potters. I wish we would've told him.
We had a source telling us where we could find a Peter Pettigrew today, on a muggle street.
I'm not too sure about letting Jessa go. I would feel...dead if something happened to them. I couldn't live, let alone function if I would know Jessa and the baby suffered something of my fault.
"Uh, hey Jessa, are you sure you want to go? I could handle it without you, you know." I said, in hope she would stay home so I could be positive her and the baby are okay, no matter what will happen.
"No, Sirius!" she said marching into the room, with her large belly leading the way. "I am perfectly capable of going with you and not getting hurt, thank you Sirius. I know that you're just trying to protect me but I can take care of myself." she explained to me. I sighed as I realized I would not win this duel with her.
"Fine, but you have to promise if something happens to me, you get out of there. Promise me, no matter what." I said. I needed to be sure that she would be safe, I needed her to move on. And that's what I would have.
"Yes, baby." she replied. "But, only if you promise the same." I was about to open my mouth to argue but she said, "Then if something happens to you, I will not leave." I had to give in.
"Fine, I suppose." I grunted grudgingly.
"You'd better, 'cause we need to go if we're going to rid ourselves of our problem." she said grimly and we popped to a dark alley so muggles couldn't see us.
As soon as we got there, everything happened fast, very fast. WAY too fast. We quickly found Peter and I cornered him. Jessa's watching my back, she's guarding the alley entrance, and before I knew it he said loudly for everyone to hear "Sirius how dare you betray Lily and James! Our friends!"
I growled my response but he didn't hear as the street was blown up, by him, him and his wand. Many people were laying lifeless and among the I saw Jessa, lying on the ground. I couldn't think. The woman I loved was lying there dead and I had failed her. Her and my baby who would never see his mother's smiling face nor meet me, his father. It was over.
I started laughing hysterically. I couldn't believe Peter killed himself and all those muggles, and Lily and James, and Jessa and William and I would be blamed. I would serve life in Azkaban, not him. I vaguely feel the wizards of the ministry come and load me into a jail like car to fool the muggles. All the time still laughing hysterically about how Peter "Wormtail" Pettigrew had fooled us all and killed the ones we cared about and poor Remus left all alone in the world without friends, thinking I betrayed him and that was my last thought as I looked to the woman I loved, dead, again because of Peter Pettigrew and Remus' thinking I did it. That is what is killing me the most. Well not the most but it feels like it to me. Remus won't ever know the truth.
I was so mad and upset at the same time. But Remus' life will move on without us. Whether he likes it or not, but I still feel bad. I feel bad almost everyone I loved and cared about...is...is...DEAD!
That hit me like being tormented by the Whomping Willow.
"I love you Jessalyn Mallory" I said quietly so no one would hear and that was my last free thought before I was brought into The Prison of Azkaban and surrounded by darkness and no happy thoughts.
A/N - Ok I know how depressing tha ending was. But there will be a second part that I am going to put up soon! And for those who haven't read my stories, check out Jessica Potter and The Beginning Of The End but I suggest The Beginning Of The End last. So yeah and my poll as well.
Thanks for reading and please Read and Review! Thank you! AnimalAddictions - T.R.K.