No fucking way! There was just no way that that could be Effy Stonem sitting in her park. The park near her house where her twat little brother played his football games every Saturday. The park where she and Freddie had had their first kiss. The same wanker Freddie who'd shown up at her house last night and informed her rather sheepishly that he was with Effy now and he hoped that there wouldn't be any hard feelings. Fuck him! How could there fucking not be hard feelings? He had fucked Effy while he was dating her, after Effy had fucking hit her over the head with a rock and left her to die!!! Effy belonged in jail, not dating Freddie!

Katie felt rage bubbling over inside her. Right, she thought, I'll deal with her then. In truth she'd almost been looking forward to this confrontation; looking forward to getting even a bit. She marched confidently towards the bench that Effy was sitting at. She was facing away and definitely hadn't noticed the oncoming wrath that was about to be showered down on her. Katie wasn't sure if she wanted to punch her or yell at her first. Maybe both. She was only about a metre away when Effy finally looked up, lone tear trailing down her face, looking, for the first time that Katie could remember, small and insecure. Katie felt the wind go out of her sails and she plopped down on the bench next to Effy. "Fuck!" was all she could think of to say.

Effy nodded, not saying a word, just looking down and away. They sat in silence, Katie trying desperately to remember all of the reasons that she wanted to beat Effy to a bloody pulp, but being stopped by the look of despair on the brunette's face.

"I'm sorry," Effy mumbled after a while, so faint that Katie had to strain her ears to hear it.

"You should be," Katie glowered, but her heart was only half in it.

"I am. I fuck up. It's just what I do," Effy's voice sounded miserable. "I don't mean to. It just always happens."

"No shit!" Katie replied. "So you're with Freddie now?" she murmured after a pause.

Effy shrugged.

"Well he seems to think you are. And you seemed to want him enough when you hit me over the head," Katie pointed out, tone harsh because Effy's nonchalance at that had annoyed her, had reminded her that she wished Effy would just fall off the face of the Earth.

"Did you ever think that you really wanted something…Like really had to have it, then you got it and it wasn't what you expected? It turned out it wasn't what you were really looking for all along?" Effy asked, gazing out at nothing in particular.

"Yes," Katie replied, much to Effy's surprise. Effy looked at her, finally, and Katie saw sadness, unmasked in Effy's normally stoic expression. "So Freddie…He's not what you're looking for?"

Effy shrugged again, turning away, unable to keep Katie's gaze.

"I thought you were in love with him," Katie grumbled.

Effy nodded. "So did I."

"So why does he think you're together then?" Katie asked.

"I haven't told him we're not," Effy replied simply.

"So you're still fucking him then," Katie concluded.

Effy nodded. "I fuck things up and I fuck people. It's all I'm good at."

"Have you ever considered trying to form a relationship before jumping into bed with someone?" Katie suggested.

Effy shook her head no. "That's not very me, now. Is it?" A small half smile that reminded Katie of the Effy she knew graced Effy's face, but only for a second.

"Maybe you should try to change. Doesn't seem like you're especially happy as you," Katie commented.

"I wouldn't know how to start," Effy admitted, surprising herself with her candour.

Katie found she could relate to that too. When she'd found out that Emily was gay, all she'd wanted was for things to stay the same, to not lose her control over her sister, to not lose her love, to just not lose her in general, so she'd continued pretending that Emily wasn't gay. She'd lied to everyone and to herself, but she'd been miserable and worse, she'd made Emily miserable in the process. She hadn't known how to change, but Emily had helped her. Naomi too, even, not that Katie'd been very cooperative about letting her help. Maybe Effy just needed someone to help her. Katie said as much.

Effy laughed, a hollow, dry, laugh. "Who would do that? The boys just want to fuck me. Or think that they love me, which is worse. I don't even know why! Why do they want me? Ok, I'm hot, but why do they think they love me? I'm not worth it! It's fucking ridiculous!"

Katie shrugged. "They obviously think you're worth it." She felt a small stab of pain at that, because she had liked Freddie. Not loved him, but liked him a lot, and he had genuinely hurt her by choosing Effy over her.

Effy shook her head. "Doesn't matter. None of them would help me change. None of them can think with anything other than their cocks half the time. It's not like I have any friends."

"What about Pandora?" Katie asked.

Effy shrugged. "We're not as close as we used to be. She hasn't taken my calls in a month. Besides, she's busy with Thomas now that they've made a fresh start."

Katie considered the other options for a minute. JJ, Freddie, and Cook were clearly eliminated automatically. Emily...Well, Emily had definitely not forgiven Effy for hitting Katie over the head, and besides she and Naomi seemed off in their own lovey-dovey world more often than not these days. That left Katie, and really? Seriously? Like that was going to fucking happen. Effy was fucking lucky that she hadn't been punched yet. Katie did not forgive so easily.

"Let's face it. I fucked everything up by fucking you over. I screwed myself out of the only real friends I've ever had besides my brother," Effy murmured, and again Katie couldn't help thinking that she seemed so...small and timid and...breakable.

Katie found herself wanting to put a comforting arm around the brunette, but she stopped herself. What was she thinking, for fuck's sake? Effy had left her for dead a few short months ago! "Yeah, you did," Katie finally agreed.

"I'm sorry. I really am," Effy turned to face Katie again, staring her in the eyes for a second before averting her gaze, flinching as if Katie's eyes were burning her just by looking at her. Katie, who'd never been overly sure if Effy meant what she said, was positive about the sincerity behind the apology.

"Yeah, well...Just don't fucking do it again! You fucking owe me!" Katie grumbled.

"I do," Effy agreed softly, before standing quickly. "Sorry. I should go." She left without giving Katie a chance to respond. Katie stared after her dumbfounded. How had that just happened? How had she gone from wanting to kill Effy to practically fucking comforting her? And then...What the fuck had just happened? Katie felt her anger returning, now that Effy wasn't in front of her looking pathetic anymore. What the fuck was Effy playing at? Why had she even been at that park? Was she waiting for Katie? Hoping to see her? Did she just want to apologise so that she could feel better? Katie shouldn't have given her the opportunity! For fuck's sake, Effy didn't deserve to feel better! She'd stolen Katie's boyfriend, apparently didn't even want him anymore, and she'd hit her over the head with a fucking rock, knocking her unconscious! The marks had taken over a month to heal and fade! She still had a scar from where she'd had stitches! She should have just given Effy a fucking piece of her mind and stormed off! Fuck Effy and her magical powers of drawing people to her! I am not going to be sucked in by her! Katie swore to herself. She stood and marched off down the street, still fuming. Fucking, Effy Stonem!!!

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She had been going to ignore her. She had been going to avoid her even. She didn't want to see her again in case the pathetic imitation of a girl from the park had vanished and had been replaced again by the piercing blue eyes and the smug smirk that made Katie really want to resort to violence. She had wanted to hate her again. A week later though and Katie was still rolling their conversation over and over in her head, still trying to understand it completely, dissecting small portions of it, looking for the Effy that she loved to hate in the conversation. She just couldn't find her though, and Katie felt her rage continue to numb, to subside, to flow out of her. It had been with her for two months now so constantly that she felt almost incomplete without it.

"What is with you?" Emily asked, taking a seat on her sister's bed.

"Nothing," Katie sighed. "Why are you here anyway? Aren't you going out with Naomi?"

"We're going to a club in a bit, yeah," Emily replied, not budging from her sister's side. "Want to come?"

"And be a fucking third wheel?" Katie growled. "No thanks."

"See? Now I know something's wrong, because you've been so much better about being nice recently, and now you're back to being a bitch," Emily scowled, but she still didn't move.

"If I'm such a bitch, why do you want me to come out then?" Katie retorted.

"Katie..." Emily pleaded a bit, because she really didn't want to fight with her sister. "Please just come out. We'll have fun. It's not like Naomi and I will be off snogging in the corner all night, leaving you stranded. Please, just come out with us!"

Katie sighed. Emily was right. Emily and Naomi were really good about including her. They made a clear concerted effort to not act too much like a couple around her. She appreciated it too. "Fine," she replied.

Emily smiled at her, and it was a genuine smile. Katie felt a little sheepish then. After all of the crap she'd pulled at the beginning of Emily and Naomi's relationship, her sister had still managed to forgive her, to want to be her friend, to want to spend time with her, to still be her twin in only a marginally different way. Emily was less of her shadow now. Katie had lost her control over her. To Katie's surprise, she didn't miss it as much as she'd thought she would and their relationship seemed almost strengthened by it. She really should thank Naomi, rather than still being somewhat snarky with her. She sat up after a few minutes, almost surprised to find that her sister was still sitting on the edge of her bed staring at her. "What?" Katie snapped, a bit harsher than she intended.

"If you need to talk...Or want to talk ever...You can always talk to me, you know. Just because I'm with Naomi doesn't mean I don't have time for you."

Emily leaned in and gave her twin a quick kiss on the cheek and squeezed her shoulder comfortingly before finally getting up. Katie shook her head. She could almost forget sometimes these days that Emily really did know her so well. Maybe Emily wasn't as completely oblivious to anything not Naomi as she thought.

"Get dressed then," Emily urged before heading to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Katie couldn't help marvelling at the role reversal that seemed to have taken place since the beginning of college. She was of course still the better dresser and really, still the hotter twin, but things had changed. For the first time that she could remember, she was single and her sister was not. Emily had a reason to go out most nights, and Katie found herself slightly less motivated to. It was better now that the bruises had healed though. She felt less self-conscious. Had even found herself flirting back to this guy at the club last week who was well fit. It was just hard, not really having friends that weren't friends of Effy's, that didn't look at her slightly pityingly. The boys all still so clearly wanted to fuck Effy (except Thomas), and Freddie apparently was, though possibly not well if Effy's comments the week before were anything to go by. And Pandora...Well Katie could only tolerate Pandora in small doses at the best of times, and she was Effy's best friend, and now that she was all couple-y with Thomas , Katie could tolerate her even less. Especially since both of them always shot her slightly pitying glances from time to time, especially if Effy was mentioned, and it drove her insane. That left Emily and Naomi. Emily was her twin. Plain and simple. Sometimes, she just couldn't talk to her though. And Naomi...Well, she had to give Naomi credit. Naomi never acted like she pitied Katie in the slightest. It was one of the few things that Katie appreciated about her. Katie paused then, because what had started as only a few things, was actually now an ever-growing list, much to her surprise, and she resented it a bit. She wondered momentarily, though, if she could try talking to Naomi about the conversation she'd had with Effy. Katie felt like she'd be the person least likely to judge and also the one most likely to give her honest opinion. She dismissed the thought when she realised that she'd probably just tell Emily, what with them being madly in love and all. She rolled her eyes and climbed out of bed, knowing that Emily would grumble at her if she came back from the bathroom to find that she still had not moved. She sighed and started going over the conversation with Effy for the millionth time as she picked out an outfit to wear that would draw appropriate attention to her tits, which she knew were one of her best features. Why couldn't Effy have just been cocky and smug like always? Hating her would be much more manageable then.