Guilty Party

Chapter 1

Zuko

Time stood still as the Avatar fell, still smoking slightly from my sister's lightning strike. I briefly looked at my sociopathic little sister before suddenly being engulfed in water. Katara. Enraged by the apparent death of her boyfriend (even I could see it) the waterbender had harnessed the power of the water from the river, propelling her towards him to get him to safety. I readied to fight, but was stopped when Uncle gently touched my shoulder.

"Nephew, you've got to get out of here.."

"But..." I spluttered. I didn't want my uncle to have to face Azula alone.

"GO." He said. He smiled at me, which spoke more than words could ever say. He was proud of me. It killed me to leave him, but he was right. I had to get out of here. Had to make sure that Uncle's sacrifice wasn't in vain.

A burst of electricity behind me...

"Wake UP, Sparky!" The voice jolted me awake. I was on a Fire Nation ship. The person who had spoken happened to be the little blind girl that traveled with the Avatar- Toph. The little earthbender fixed me with a steely glare that was not lessened by the fact that she was, in fact, staring at my shoulder.

The dream was slipping through my brain like sand. Uncle, I felt a shock of guilt. I should have been there for him.

I refocused in time to catch the end of Toph's little rant.

"Come ON Sparky. No one could get any sleep with you tossing and muttering in your sleep. You're worse than Twinkletoes!"

"Twinkletoes" I'd learned, was a nickname for the Avatar. I was still having a bit of a problem decoding all the various nicknames that these people gave each other. Apparently I was "Sparky."

"Fine" I said sullenly,turning and walking towards the door of the cabin that we all shared. I didn't have to take this crap.

"Where are you going?" This time, it was Sokka who spoke up. I was surprised he was even awake. The boy could sleep.

"Out." The door slammed, its frame shaking with the impact.

Two left turns and I was at the staircase up to the deck. This ship design might be different than I was used to (it was easily 30 years newer than my old ship), but I was already miles ahead of Sokka and any of the other kids, I was willing to bet. Except...

I stopped and turned as a new thought occurred to me. I turned and made my way back down the staircase and turned a left.

I soon ended up at the top floor staring at a door I knew more than anything. The captain's quarters. I silently opened the door.

There was no one in the room, save for the little prone figure on the futon. I walked over and sat down at the other side of the room.

It had become a ritual of sorts. Whenever I felt upset or angry, I could come in and just talk. No one suggested anything or got on my nerves. I found that no matter how upset I felt, when I came in I felt this brief feeling of peace.

I sat for awhile before speaking up.

"So, I guess you're wondering why I keep coming here. The way I figure, I get some company and you get some relief from the boredom. Win-win."

It had been almost 3 weeks since the kid had been shot and he wasn't showing signs of coming out of his coma. Still, it reassured me to come in here to find him still alive, in spite of it all. Katara had said that he was getting better.

I felt a pang as I thought about Uncle. I felt awful about leaving him. It was a sensation that hadn't left since the battle.

I talked to him for awhile. The dreams, the guilt, everything just came pouring out. In a way, I felt like he was listening to me. At the end of our little chats, I usually felt better. Not all the way, but some of the gnawing feelings that plagued me took a leave of absence. Even while unconscious, he really did seem to listen. And I did appreciate being able to talk to someone who wasn't constantly making sarcastic remarks, teasing me, or just being nosy.

Before I left, I turned back.

"So, whenever you feel like waking up and gracing us with your presence, let us know." Then I went up to the deck. The cool breeze made me shiver, but I didn't go back below. I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. That was just how I had been, lately. Once I was up, there was no use in trying to get back to sleep.

I heard a little creak behind me as someone opened the door. Without even turning around, I could guess at who it was. Sure enough, it was Katara who walked up to join me next to the railing.

"Hey Katara"

She said hello, then shivered as a soft gust of wind blew over the deck.

"Cold, isn't it?" I murmured my agreement.

"Why are you here?" This is why I didn't talk to her. For some reason, she absolutely needed to know everything. Privacy was a big thing for me.

She looked annoyed at my bluntness.

"I was just trying to make conversation. You don't have to snap at everyone for trying to make small talk. What I would like to know though is what you're doing out here in the middle of the night. You look like you haven't slept at all since-…"

She didn't need to finish her statement. It was the same for me. Since the fiasco at Ba Sing Se, everyone had some guilt, some "what ifs". We all felt horrible for letting the great city fall and- I felt a twinge of guilt at thinking this- I regretted not joining my sister in the battle. Then I could have at least gone home.

Katara looked at me uncertainly before asking the question that had undoubtedly been the one that was really on her mind.

"Are you still mad about..?" She pointed to the left side of her face, where the scar was on mine.

I sighed before shaking my head slightly. And I wasn't. There might have been a flash of indignation at the beginning, but in the end, I realized that that spirit water wasn't for me. It had never been.

She sighed too, in relief. Then she looked at me again, this time with curiosity.

"You don't talk much." She observed.

I gave her an almost-smile. "True. Even my crew noticed it."

We spent the next minute standing there in that awkward silence that originates when two people have managed to run out of subject matter in only a few minutes and are desperately trying to either find something to talk about or get away. I chose the second option.

"So uh, it's pretty late, we should try to get some sleep."

Katara agreed and we quickly parted ways.

I spent some time wandering through the hallways, caught between wanting to go to sleep, but not wanting to go back and face the rest of the group. I got to the end of the hallway and walked down the stairs on the left, there was an vacant bedroom. Feeling as though I could actually pass out from lack of sleep, I decided to take the opportunity to get some shut eye before morning. I crawled onto one of the two bunk beds and for the first time since Ba Sing Se, I fell asleep and didn't dream.

A/N: For those who are still with me for IMBD, I haven't abandoned it. However, I decided to write this. Like IMBD, this was an idea that I have had since before I discovered . This fic will focus mainly on the feelings that Zuko is going through after COD if he had decided to join the Gaang at that point. I am trying to make him and the rest of the Gaang as in character as possible, but please tell me if anything is off. I do appreciate and respond to constructive criticism as well as positive feedback.

I have made some improvements on content. (Thanks Kimberly T for pointing that out by the way!) I have also made some minor spelling/grammar changes.

Thank you to AangsForeverGirl, ArrayePL and Kimberly T for reviewing and alerting this chapter. The feedback was wonderful and I will update soon.