Taking a Risk
By Misha
Disclaimer- I totally do not own any of the characters of Smallville (though I wish I owned Lex!), they belong to a lot of people with more money than me. I am not making any money off using them in this story, so please don't sue me.
Author's Notes- This is just a short Lana piece set near the end of ÒCrushÓ, right before she learns about Whitney's dad. It's just her thoughts on Clark and her feelings for him. I love Clark and Lana together (almost as much as I love Clark and Lex!), and I seriously hope that that's the direction the show will go in. Anyway, that's all for now, enjoy!
Rating- PG
Spoilers- Crush.
Is it too late? Have I played it safe for too long and now have to stand by and watch as Clark slips out of my reach forever?
I want to die as I watch him gently take Chloe's hand in his.
I think about our conversation. I know that he was talking about me. That he let the moment that might have been us slip by and it might never come again.
We both let it slip away.
That night on the porch if Nell hadn't interrupted... That evening in the loft if it hadn't been for the news about Whitney's dad...
Those were our chances. We let them slip by.
And now I might never get another chance.
I knew Clark liked me, but I tried to deny it, because it was easier. Safer.
I told Clark once that Whitney made me feel safe, that he was always there when I need him. I told Clark another time that while he wasn't always there when you wanted him to be, he was there when you needed him to be.
Whitney is familiar, but I don't think he's what I want anymore.
The question is it too late for what I want? Have I lost my chance with Clark?
I don't know. Maybe not.
Maybe I can do something about it. I think it's worth the risk.
Clark is one of my best friends and I value that deeply, but is keeping that friendship worth giving up what Clark and I might be able to share? I don't think so.
I think I have to take the chance. See if it's not too late for Clark and I.
Even if it is, I think it's also too late for Whitney and I.
To be honest, our relationship was dead long ago, we just held onto because neither of us wanted to admit it. Especially when Whitney's dad got sick. Then, it was easy to go back to the way we always were.
But now Whitney's dad is getting better and I can't hide any longer. I think Whitney and I are through.
For the first time in my life, I'm really going to take a risk. I'm going to be honest with myself and go after what I really want.
Maybe it's too late, but I'll never know if I don't try. And if I don't try, I'll always regret it.
There's Whitney now. It's time for us to talk.
I'm done playing it safe, it's time for me to take a risk and see if the reward is greater than the possible pain.
The End