Sad Song
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I don't know what to think anymore. You're just so confusing! You're hot one moment, and then cold the next. You can't make up your mind. You say you have your problems, and I believe you. But, I still don't know...
I believed you the first time, when you insisted that you couldn't do it, because you were too busy with your career. Such a flimsy excuse. You lied to me, and I fell for it.
The second time, I wasn't so sure that I could believe you. You threw another excuse my way. Why? Is it me? If it's me, then why do you bother? Why don't you just end it now? Do I mean anything to you anymore? I don't know what to think.
You think you answered my questions, but you didn't. Not really. You only convered the surface. I missed that cover up. You insisted that it wasn't me. Insisted that you love me. Insisted that I mean the world to you. I fell for your words, but that still didn't stop the questions from arising.
Do you love me, or are you in love with me? A million question fill my head, and yet, you don't take the time to answer. You dodge the real question, filling my head with lies. Skirting around the edges.
The third time, I was annoyed. I'll admit it. It wasn't like I was asking for your hand in marriage! I just wanted the public to know that we are together. How hard is it to do that? Why are you insisting on keeping it secret? Am I not good enough for you to show around, and bring to parties? Am I not the girlfriend you want me to be? Did I mistake your intentions?
Then, you kept assuring me that you just didn't want the public to be on my case all the time - like they were bound to be if they found out I was your girlfriend. I admit, that ceased my worrying for the moment, only for the moment. You made a point. They would be on my case, considering who we are. They would bug us.
But, every couple went through that. Well, all the major ones did. They survived through all the interrogations. Why couldn't we? You know that I can handle myself. I don't need a bodygaurd. I can take care of myself. I could handle them just fine.
I remembered pleading with you to let us became officailly oficial. I wanted every one to see the love we had. I wanted people to know that you're mine, and for people to know that I am yours. I could have had others, but I wanted you. You, who had a huge ego, and was jerk. Why? I saw something there, inside of you, other then what you put up in your facade. I saw beyound your looks, inside of you. I liked it there. You were different. You proved it, but now - I'm not so sure.
I remembered you saying that you hated the attention the media gave you, and with this - us, becoming official - more media attention would be thrust onto you and me. Me - being the person that I am - believed you. I thought that for the first time, I was finally breaking your little act. That you were opening up - if only just a little bit.
So, we continued our secret meetings in private, but they just didn't do it anymore for me. I wanted something else. I wanted something new. I wanted to be able to go anywhere with you, and not have a care in the world. But, I didn't question nor demand such a thing from you. I honestly believed what you had said, and I left it at that.
I was an idiot.
I knew that you didn't hate the attention the media gave you, you loved it. You thrived for the camera. You drank in all the attention. I fell for your lie, yet again.
When questioned, you just responded that it was how people expected you to act.
I felt like a fool for honestly believing your lies. You lied to me. I had my suspcions, but now they were answered. I cornered you the next day, demanding why you didn't want to go public. I held my ground when you tried to skirt around the issue. I didn't let you leave untill you gave me the answer to the question that I asked you.
When you answered, my heart broke. It shattered, and there was nothing that could piece it back together.
You said that they wouldn't believe that you could have a real girlfriend. They wouldn't believe that you could be in a serious relationship, because they would think that we were just too different. That I wasn't the type you would usually go for, and that you didn't want people mocking m,e and taunting me that you could break up with me any moment - like I didn't live with that hanging on my head everyday. I love you.
But, you still broke my heart. I realised that it wasn't really true what you said. It held some truth in it, but then I realised...
You were just a coward. You weren't ready for a serious relationship. It was all just for you to try to see if you can handle it. What hurts me more, is that you think that you can't. You think that we can't last. That really hurts. I poured my heart and soul into our relationship holding it up, and you think that it could crumble easily.
In the end, I came to the conclusion that, Chad, you're just a sad song with nothing to say.
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a/n: So, what do you guys think? I got the inspiration from a sentence in a song by My Chemical Romance - Disenchanted. "You're just a sad song with nothing to say." It immiedatley stood out, and it bugged me until my muse relented and worked.
REVIEW!!!!