Not quite sure if the tissues are needed. But as always, I'm going to warn ahead of time that they may be needed.
Yes... there are just times when I need to write something sad instead of fluffy.
The Raven
There was a ruffle of air brushing against his cheek. The feel of weak morning sunlight against his skin. The purr of the truck engine as it glided down the dirt road with the windows down. From the corners of his eyes he could see his blond hair playing loosely in the breeze. But he didn't do anything to prevent what would become a hassle to untangle.
The truck coasted up and down a series of low-rising hills. Within a mile it broached the next and last hill that rose up to a small cottage home against the backdrop of a forest still dotted with the snowfall of winter that hadn't yet melted in the new spring sunlight.
Edward turned the steering wheel gently and applied the brake to bring the truck to a halt a few yards from the cottage. He sat there, staring out the windshield-but not seeing what was past it. His fingers uncurled and curled again against the warmth of the steering wheel, but never let go.
It was the caw of a raven in the forest that finally brought him from his daze.
His eyes closed, and clenched in unison with his fingers as he gripped the steering wheel. And he lifted one hand away to turn off the engine. As the truck ceased its familiar and oddly comforting rumble of an idle, his eyes opened again. They were bloodshot, glassy, and the dark circles under them looked rubbed raw.
Slowly, as if he'd forgotten how, he unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door to the truck. He turned to shut it with both hands as gently as he could, and stood leaning there against it for a time.
The raven cawed again.
Edward lifted his head from its bowed position and looked over his shoulder at the cottage. After a moment he turned and walked towards the door. His hand hesitated mid-knock, but he finished it with two more just to be heard.
…though he wasn't sure if he wanted to be.
His walk was devoid at best of the purpose that had once given him a cocky stride. And he sat down along the wall. Not minding the dew on the grass seeping into his clothes as he cradled his head in his hands.
He didn't hear him come out the front door, but he heard the body settle down beside him. Felt the arms wrap around his shoulders and pull him in for a tight hug.
"I'm here." Alphonse whispered, one hand gently stroking his brother's arm.
Edward's body shook in a silent sob, and his eyes clenched against the tears.
Alphonse nodded, and placed a chaste kiss to the wind-ruffled blond hair. "It's okay." He consoled gently, and slowly took his arms from around his brother and stood up. "Come on."
Edward raised his head from his hands, and stared at the hand Al was offering down to him. His stomach in knots, his heart clenching in anticipation. Slowly he reached out his own hand to slide it into Al's, and he accepted the help up.
Alphonse patted his hand comfortingly, and began to lead his brother around the cottage. Back towards the forest.
It was a short walk… but to Edward it felt as if it took forever. And yet, when he was standing there in front of the white marble marker secured into and rising up from the ground a few inches, it felt as if the walk had never happened.
Alphonse let him go as Edward walked forward even more. And he didn't move from where he stood as his brother fell to his knees. He could only swallow hard against the lump in his throat and blink hard against the prickle of hot tears.
Edward shook as the nearly-silent sobs racked his body. Now that the floodgates had opened, every time he tried to dam up the flow he could only gasp a few breaths before he'd begin to cry all over again. And he rubbed roughly at his eyes with his gloves that were already stiff with the salt from tears he'd cried the night before.
He cried out all the pain he couldn't free himself from. The pain he didn't want to free himself from.
Until he no longer had the strength to cry.
Bloodshot and watery golden eyes stared down at the name inscribed, a name now bathed in his tears. He reached out to trace it, much as if touching the name would help. He didn't know how it could help, but he did it anyway.
"Brother?" Alphonse ventured tentatively, unsure how Edward would react to the interruption of his tortured mourning.
Edward's eyes closed, his hand clenching over the name. "We were going to get married." He whispered, and the ring he'd never taken off felt like the fire his fiancé had loved. It was warm against his skin… always reminding him.
"I know." Al replied softly, a lone tear sliding down one cheek. "It gets easier… I hear…"
Edward sighed a bitter sigh, and opened his eyes to let his gaze drift over the name as he'd done so many times before. "A year ago today he died… I'd ask when it's supposed to get easier… I still can barely sleep. I still feel the pain. I'm not sure now if I want it to get easier."
Alphonse gave him a sad smile, but he didn't attempt to go to his brother.
Slowly Edward rocked back so that he was kneeling, his hand drifting off the wet marble. He was silent for several moments, before he attempted a small smile at the name shining wetly up at him. "I love you… always."
He stood up carefully, and half-turned before looking back at the marker. A last tear slid down one cheek before he turned around and began to walk towards Alphonse.
Alphonse reached out to take the hand offered to him, and he squeezed it tenderly. "We'll get you some breakfast." He promised, and began to lead his silent brother to his cottage.
The raven cawed again, and the sleek black bird flew out from the forest to land carefully down onto the wet headstone marker. It watched the pair disappear from view, the black eyes always watching the shorter of the blond's, and once they'd been gone for several minutes he took reluctant flight again… back to the forest to wait another year.
