A/N: I'm sorry, I couldn't resist writing one of these..lol..
Kareoke Strikes Again
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"Settle down!" Dumbledore announced to the Great Hall one night. "It's that time of the year again!"
The room erupted in cheers.
"Righto then." Sirius whispered to his friends over at the Gryffindor table.
"As most of you know," Dumbledore added, seeing the puzzled look on the First Years' faces, "It is once again, Kareoke Night."
Everyone began to cheer and whistle again.
Merle stood up and began to rush to the Gryffindor table. Seeing the look of horror on Snape's face, she poked him hard in the back and kept running.
"Best day of the year, eh?" Lily asked her when she reached the table.
"Yup. I completely agree."
"Traditionally, Mr. Sirius Black will be performing a series of Serious Silliness." Dumbledore said. Sirius grinned. "The songs will be performed with various people." He continued. "No one has signed up to sing yet, so Mr. Black will start off singing one of the songs with Ms. Merle Charton."
"Sirius, have you—where'd he go?" Remus said, turning around and looking for Sirius. Sirius was already on stage with Merle, and they both had identical mad grins on their faces.
Sirius/Merle:
I want a new duck
From the start, the hall burst out laughing.
James: What've they got up their sleeve this time?
Sirius/Merle:
One that won't try to bite
One that won't chew a hole in my socks
One that won't quack all night
I want a new duck
One with big webbed feet
One that knows how to wash my car
And keep his room real neat
Lily: They look like they're having fun, don't they?
Others: *nod in agreement, they can't say anything because they're too busy laughing*
Sirius:
One that won't raid the ice box
One that'll stay in shape
Sirius/Merle:
One that's never gonna try to migrate or escape
Sirius:
Or I'll tie him up with duck tape
Remus: He's got something going there, doesn't he?
James: I wonder…
Sirius/Merle:
I want a new duck
A mallard I think
One that won't make a mess of my house
Or build a nest in the bathroom sink
Lily: *laughing very hard*
James: Lily…?
Lily: Nothing. *cracks up*
Remus/James: Okay…
Sirius/Merle:
I want a new duck
One that won't steal my beer
One that won't stick his bill in my mail
One that knows the duck stops here
Peter: Since when do they drink beer?
James: Maybe they mean butterbeer.
Remus: I don't think so.
Lily: This is a Muggle song, you twit.
Sirius:
One that won't drive me crazy waddling all around
Sirius/Merle:
One who'll teach me how to swim and help me not to drown
Sirius:
And show me how to get down
How to get down baby
GET IT?
No one bothered to look up from their laughing until an array of ducks came waddling onto the stage, swaying from side to side.
Ducks:
Quack quack, quack quack quack.
Quack quack quack quack quack.
(Quackquackquack, Quackquackquackquack)
(Quackquackquackquack)
(Quackquackquack, Quackquackquack)
Lily: Who knew this was going to happen? *laughs*
Sirius/Merle:
I want a new duck
Not a swan or a goose
Just a drake I can dress real cute
Think I'm gonna name him Bruce
Peter: Bruce? Is that a good name for a duck?
Remus: Who cares?
Sirius/Merle:
I want a new duck
Not a quail or an owl
One that won't molt to much
One that won't smell too fowl
Sirius:
One that won't beg for breadcrumbs
Hangin' around all day
Sirius/Merle:
He'd better mind his manners
Better do just what I say
Sirius:
Or he's gonna be duck pate, duck pate, yeah, yeah.
Ducks:
Quaaaack
Quack quack quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quack quack
(Quack quack quack, quackquack quackquack)
Quack quack quack quack
Quack quack quack quackquackquackquack
[lots of quacking sounds]
Sirius and Merle bowed and climbed offstage, joining in with the Gryffindor table (and all the other tables including the Professors', matter of fact) laughing their heads off.
"The next performance will be Ms. Rita Skeeter," Dumbledore announced, making the whole hall groan.
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Okay…any song suggestions for Rita Skeeter? R-E-V-I-E-W spells review. Click the purtee little button down there, please.