WE'RE BAAACK! yeah, this is Season 2... which calls for a whole new musical! to the dismay of many characters... and THANK YOU to all the reviewers, we love you guys!

now, on to the rather chatty prologue...

sigh standard disclaimers still apply.

Prologue

"Do we have to do this again?" Rodney moaned.

Sheppard nodded his head emphatically. "I've been scarred for life from the last musical."

"As was I," agreed Teyla.

"Ditto," Ford put in.

Nightpheonix rolled her eyes. "Well, you don't have much of a choice, now do you?"

Seanait waved her notebook threateningly. "If I can turn John's gun into a banana, I can do anything!"

"C'mon, this one will be a lot more fun than the last one!" Elizabeth pleaded.

"Well, since Kavanaugh and Kolya are dead..." mused McKay.

"And Bates," Teyla added with a snicker.

"And Everett," Weir reminded them all.

"...that will get rid of a whole lot of irritating people singing." Rodney finished.

Seanait and Nightpheonix exchanged glances. "Well..." they said in unison.

"What aren't you telling us?" John growled.

"We had to resurrect them all," admitted Nightpheonix.

The entire Atlantis team burst out, "WHAT!"

"We didn't have a choice!" Seanait defended. Nightpheonix nodded in assent.

"But they don't get songs, right?" demanded Sheppard.

When the fic writers didn't answer, McKay repeated, "Right!"

"Hey..." Nightpheonix said thoughtfully. "We never gave Bates a song last season, did we?"

Seanait thought for a second. "That we didn't," she said, an evil grin spreading slowly across her face. The two authors exchanged glances, and then sprinted out to begin writing, laughing insanely all the way.

The Atlantis team stared after them in horror. "Oh God. This is going to suck."

OOOOOOOOOOOO

"McKay, it's about to start. Go out there."

"No."

"Whaddaya mean no?"

"I mean no, major… err… sorry. I did the intro to the last musical and you said it was boring. If you want an exciting intro, you do it."

"By the way, it's colonel. Oh, come on-"

"Don't tell me the legendary Colonel John Sheppard has stage fright!"

"No! Not at all!"

"Then go out there."

"Aw, c'mon, sir! It'll be fun!"

"Ford, that's what you said about the last musical, and look how that turned out."

Silence.

"Colonel Sheppard, it would be wise to say something to the audience before they become angry."

"Yes, Teyla, but what should I talk about?"

"I dunno, make something up."

"Gee, McKay, thanks."

"Anytime."

"How 'bout you talk about the puddlejumper, sir?"

"Well, I guess that's okay..."

"Great, just go out there now, colonel."

Pause.

"McKay, are you sure you don't want-"

Sheppard falls onstage, kicked by Rodney and the others. John glares at the group offstage and rubs his backside.

Sheppard addresses the audience: Well, you guys know why you're here. "SGA: The Musical 2," also known as "Oh No, Not Another One!"

McKay proudly from backstage: That was my idea!

Sheppard: Nice one. Anyways, if you guys saw the last musical, you know there's gonna be a lot of singing and...yeah, whatever. So I'm out here to talk to you guys about the puddlejumper 'cause McKay was being a whiny b-

McKay, threateningly: Colonel Sheppard, I swear...

Sheppard: Brainiac. I was going to say brainiac. Yeah, the puddlejumer. Well, it's this really cool little ship-

McKay: -that goes through the gate! Gateship! That's a much better name than puddlejumper!

Sheppard: Rodney, are you going to do this intro or am I? (Silence) Good. So the puddlejumper can go-

Weir walks onstage: Yeah, I think that's good, colonel. We're on a tight schedule here, so let's get this musical started.

Sheppard: But-but-but!

The others also walk onstage.

Ford: Well, I'm sure it would have been great if you had had the time, sir.

Sheppard: Waitaminute...Ford, what are you doing here?

Ford: What do you mean?

Sheppard: I mean aren't you supposed to be some sort of pseudo-Wraith completely convinced of his own superiority and totally addicted to that enzyme?

Ford: Oh. Yeah. Right. Much to the woe of all my fangirls, I'm not a main character anymore!

McKay aside to Sheppard: Ford has fangirls?

Sheppard shrugs: Who knew?

Ford: I heard that!

Sheppard: So?

Ford: Hmph! Well, maybe it's a good thing I'm leaving if I'm not wanted!

Silence. Ford growls at them all. They jump and scream.

Sheppard: We have to do something to help him!

McKay, Teyla, Weir: You can do something. We're staying away from him!

Suddenly, a cardboard box cut into a triangle zips out of nowhere.

Sheppard: Uh... stage crew, what's that?

Stage manager: The Wraith Dart.

McKay: Budget again?

Stage manager: Yeah. Oh, you guys are going to have to pretend there's a puddlebox from now on.

Sheppard: WHAT! You cut up my puddlebox to make a dart!

Teyla: But I thought that you disliked the puddlebox, colonel.

Sheppard: Yes, but-

He is cut off by Ford yelling, "Wee-hooo!" and running under the Dartbox, screaming, "Beam me up! Beam me up!" He disappears and the Dartbox flies away.

Sheppard: Well.

Weir: That was different.

Beckett comes on stage.

Beckett: What in bloody hell was tha'? I almost got my head taken off by a cardboard triangle!

John begins to sob hysterically.

Beckett: ...oh?

McKay: Oh, grow up, colonel. We all hated the damn thing.

Sheppard: But (sob) it was my SPACESHIP! (sob)

Teyla: Colonel, now we can use the real puddlejumper on set.

Sheppard immediately brightens up: Really! AWESOME!

John does a victory dance. There is silence.

McKay: Ahem... on to act 1 you guys? This isn't looking like a proper prologue.

All: Shut up McKay.

McKay: Fine.

A curtain falls, clunking McKay in the head.