Balamb Bulletin
As editor of the Balamb Bulletin, a high-ranking and well respected newspaper, I was apalled to hear that the game (FF8) made representing the events conducted a year ago were apparently completely inaccurate. We have uncovered documented photos, tape-recorded clippings, and witness accounts from the night of the SeeD Graduation of Squall Leonhart. Our head writer has written a lovely re-account of the night's activites which have been published here for everyone to read. Most of our documented information came from one Seifer Almasy, who was oddly enough very enthusiastic about helping us uncover the falacy that was made. When questioned about his source and his motive... Seifer dislocated the jaw of one of our associates. Get well soon, Jun.
Thank you--
Elle Neil (Editor)
The Forgotten Encounter-- a reinactment written by Wink Chusaino
Quistis couldn't help feeling out-of-place again. Not only was she at a dance in which people would expect you to, well...dance, but she was also in her battle uniform instead of some fru-fru ballgown. She eyed the girls her own age who were either giggling or practically purring whenever a uniformed SeeD walked by, and rolled her eyes in veiled disgust. She couldn't understand the reasoning behind all the preperation and primping just to see the same guys she'd seen every day of her life...and had assigned homework to.
Just as she was in the middle of rationalizing why she didn't dress up, instead of kicking herself for it, a girl in a tight maroon dress slid by with a puppy of a cadet trailing on her heels and shot her a look laced with pity. Quistis decided it would be wise to study her untouched wineglass. The lights from the chandelier reflected back up at her blurred and out of focus...mirroring her own disjointed thoughts. She was only 18 and she knew she had accomplished so much, but it was times like this when she wondered if maybe there was something she was missing because of her load of responsibilities. Not that it would be a problem much longer now that she was being stripped of her license.
The lecture she got from Xu about the "spider" incident was still ringing in her ears, but in the end it was a mixed blessing. Quistis leaned up against the wall and surveyed the crowd full of laughter and lights and tried for a smile. The night was a huge success, sponsers were lining up to speak with Cid about recruiting the new members, and she was able to keep Seifer at bay. She did smile at that, imagining the look of indignation falling into a haughty pout as he heard he was restricted to his quarters for the night. Well, she was justified. Tonight she didn't want any disturbances for her latest and last star pupil...
Tentatively, she scanned the crowd again. Maybe he wouldn't come. It did seem like showing up at a social gathering wouldn't be particularly conducive to his angst-boy-loner image, but, he knew it was his duty to be here tonight. And if there is anything Squall took seriosuly, it was his sense of duty.
Quistis shook her head with a touch of ire and brushed a stray locke of honey-blonde hair back from her eyes. She understood him, more than he gave her credit for. It was almost as if she could anticipate his actions and words just by the small nuances he seemed to exude. Plus, Squall really had no idea how expressive his eyes truly were. Or how unnerving they could be.
Her heels clicked on the marble softly as she began to trace the perimeter of the room. She was the one who had been nervous inside the fire cavern and had thus babbled on like a complete moron. But she had to say something to break the silence and avert the attention of those cold, piercing eyes.
A murmer surged through the crowd and she turned.
"Speak of the devil....", she exhaled ruefully as the general female populace began to primp and surge forward towards the fresh meat. Even from across the room Quistis caught panic, embarrasment, and amusement flash across his face, emphasized by the shadows cast by the candlelight. Though soon enough his features were chiseled back into non-chalance, and he made his way to a quiet corner.
Quistis knew she must have something better to do then gawk at a student, but he was unmistakably attractive to her. It wasn't just the way he moved so confidently, or how he looked lounging against the wall in that uniform. Most of it was this overpowering desire to see him smile or replace that caged look in his eyes with one of peace.
Something in her wanted to protect him. Something about him cried out to be saved regardless of his hard, indifferent exterior. And foolish Quistis Trepe was in love with him.
The ironic part had to be that she knew how impossible her feelings for him where. The chances of him reciprocating where about the same as him happily dancing. A giggle escaped her rose-tinted lips at the ludicrousness of the thought since he practically had "Approach and DIE" tattoed on his forehead.
Settling back into the shadows cast by the chandelier, she continued to regard him thoughtfuly. That scar of his would mar the face of any other man. She knew it had to be due to her own biased thinking since the mirror-mark left on Seifer only seemed to make him more ruggedly bully-ish, but certainly didn't increase his appeal. At least not to her.
But...on Squall...
Without warning Quistis' lips thinned and she turned on her heel, facing the wall. Shadows played on its surface, dancing and laughing. It was all so ridiculous. She was behaving like some love-starved floozy instead of a strong, independant woman. This obsession of hers had to stop. It just wasn't going to be...she would have to accept that.
Inhaling deeply, silently, she closed her eyes and refused to acknowledge the tears clinging precipitously on her lashes. A flick of the wrist and a moment later she turned, a small smile painted on her face. It was to the world as if nothing had ever troubled the cool veneer of Instructor Trepe.
Quistis decided it would be in her best interest to leave, now, while she still felt like she had some shred of dignity left. She couldn't rationalize having much after spending 99% of the whole celebration staring at her student. Well....ex-student after tonight.
Sliding through the crowd, she knew no one would question her leaving or her absence. She had the freedom to go back up to her dorm and....and.....
She rolled her cynic-turned eyes at her own hesitation. It didn't matter...
About ten yards to freedom and she spotted Selphie clutching her sign-up sheet like a shield and wielding her smile like a sword. Everyone knew that certain death lurked on that clipboard and kept their distance. Quistis was not willing to be the exception. Making a 180 towards the back doors, she faced a throng of hedonists sparkling with starlight and champagne bubbles. Her steps stilled and she felt an angry flush stain her cheeks.
Why couldn't she be like them ?! Why couldn't she dance without a care with one of the Treppies, smile seductively, and just be done with the night? Why did every man there pale to him in her eyes? Why was she waiting for him to wake up and realize he loved her? Why was she feeling this way !?
It was simple....because she was foolish enough to hope for what she was intelligent enough to know could never happen.
Chewing on her lower lip softly, she reigned her emotions back under control. Treading lightly, as if her whole world were made of breaking glass, she stepped through the crowd. She didn't think anything could puncture the careful shell she had constructed for the sole purpose of making it back to her room in one piece, but from the corner of her shaded eyes she saw an achingly familiar face...
.....on the dance floor....?
Quistis whirled around, the chains riding low on her hips tinkling like bells. Her eyes widened and the aqua irises, unshaded by the fringe of her lashes, became a soft baby blue.
He was dancing, perfectly, like in a dream, with some beautiful brunette in a cream-colored dress. But not only that, he was smiling. Quistis shook her head in amazement, a smile of her own staining her lips. Squall was actually dancing. Recalling her private jest she watched as they twirled in perfect harmony to the lilting music, and it was a balm to her heart. Maybe there was a way to melt Squall's exterior after all. Maybe it wasn't so impossible.
Maybe...she had a chance.
The music ended as fireworks exploded cheerfully above the glass expanse, raining color and life down upon everything beneath. Quistis watched as the two parted ways, the angelic girl towards Cid and Squall slipped out onto the back balcony.
Without a definite plan in mind, she followed him to the glass doors. Before exiting Quistis glanced up through the dome and smiled at the moon...for luck.
"You really are an excellent student", she began as she entered the quiet, star-strewn terrace and settled beside him. "Even that dance was perfect."
Squall shrugged, crinkling the stiff fabric and didn't look at her.
"Thank you", he replied non-commitally and fell into silence.
A slight breeze ruffled his hair as she waited beside him. Waited for what, she wasn't entirely sure. Maybe for just a small sign that the smiling Squall she had glimpsed a moment ago wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Tucking a stray locke behind her ear, Quistis listened to the soothing sound of rustling leaves and leaned against the banister.
"Yes?", he asked, his voice tinged with cool, distant respect.
She could tell he was growing uncomfortable with the intruding silence.
"So you'll dance with someone you don't even know, but you can't stand being around me?", she replied, glancing at him with an impish half-smile.
He shot her a quizzical look.
"...Whatever. You're an instructor, and I'm your student. It's kind of awkward when you don't say anything."
She smiled softly at his profile and assessed him silently. Something was definitely a bit different about tonight if Squall Leonhart was feeling uncomfortable with silence. Like maybe the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse rode by without her noticing.
"That's true. I was like that myself", she brushed off and gazed again at the lovely panorama. Maybe if she got him into a deeper conversation she could carve through that ice...Too bad there were so many people around that could come out at any moment and ...throw up in the bushes or something. That'd ruin the moment. But it was so beautiful out she didn't want to leave... Suddenly a bolt of inspiration struck her.
"Oh, I completely forgot. I wonder what's to become of me? ", she turned towards him as he cocked an eyebrow in her general direction. "I've come to give you an order. You and I are to go to the 'secret area'. It's where students secretly meet up and talk after curfew. It's inside the training center."
He shook his head and regarded her with bored incredulity.
" What do you want to do there? Are we going there to tell everyone they're violating curfew? If that's the case, forget it. Leave that for the disciplinary committee", he replied in strained dismissal.
He really did try too hard sometimes.
Quistis yeilded a soft, partially suppressed laugh that floated above the sound of music wafting through the closed doors. "Go get changed and meet me in front of the training center." she rejoined with a smile tinting her voice. "This will be my last order", she tossed over her shoulder as she left the terrace.
Departing was a piece of cake now that Selphie was preoccupied on the other side of the room with some poor guest cuckolded into selling away his soul. She offered up a prayer for him and glided out of the ballroom. When the doors closed behind her it was like entering a quiet sanctuary in comparison. But on the inside she was in turmoil....
Alright, now she was going to have her chance...her first and maybe last shot of being able to really talk to him one on one...and hope he'll listen to what she wasn't saying as much as what she was....
She continued to muse silently as her boots clicked loudly and echoed on the deserted marble path towards the training center. Her mind seemed to be a whirlwind of disjointed thoughts circling her mind and heart.
Before she knew it she could feel a pair of eyes burning a hole into her back. Turning slowly, she faced Squall and her countenance softened into a greeting smile. He quickly looked away and walked past her, ire tracing his characteristic indifference.
She followed silently, not sure yet of what to make of such an acknowledgment. He seemed either severly annoyed or, she hoped, unsure of himself and thus overcompensating with treating her like that. She shrugged it off for now and followed him inside the training center.
Together they fought silently side-by-side through several trivial battles. There was always a certain repore between them on the field that belied words, but tonight it seemed especially strong. She always seemed to know just when to heal the wounds he wouldn't take care of, and he always seemed to find ways to lend her a hand should she take on too much.
By the time they arrived to the 'secret area', Quistis was in high spirits. The spot was enchantingly bathed in pale moonlight and her eyes sparkled with childish delight at the view. Squall pointedly tried not to notice...
" I haven't been here for a while", she breathed as Squall hunched over the rail.
Quistis rested her elbows on it and smiled softly into the breeze. "What time is it?" she asked idly.
"It's after midnight", he replied stifly.
Quitis stretched her arms behind her back and then lifted her palms towards the sky.
" Oh well... I, Quistis Trepe, am no longer an instructor as of now! I'm a member of SeeD now, just like you. Who knows, maybe we'll end up working together", she leaned back down, her hands framing her cheeks on the rail as she grinned up at him.
Squall barely glanced at her from the corner of his eye and subtely turned away. He shouldn't have come...
The silence thickened between them. Quistis' smile faded and ....was lost. Her gaze slowly drooped and fell to the ground. Squall peered over and caught the top of her head bowed slightly. He felt like an ass....but that was the point.
" ...Oh really?" his voice cut her with it's obvious apathy.
"Is...that all you're going to say?", she asked faltering for something to reply.
He shrugged and raked his fingers through his hair in irritation.
" If that's how it was decided, you have to abide by it."
Quistis shifted closer into herself and her vision blurred softly at the edges.
"They told me that I failed as an instructor. Basically, that I lacked leadership qualities. I was a SeeD by the age of 15, got my instructor license at 17... It's only been a year since I got it... I wonder where I went wrong... I did my best...", she paused and inhaled smoothly past the lump in her throat. "...Are you listening?"
Squall closed his eyes with a slight shake of his head.
"Are you done yet...? I don't wanna talk about it. What am I supposed to say about other people's problems?"
Quistis felt lost, shaken...what had she done to deserve that?
"I'm not asking you to say anything. I..I just want you to listen. " And care, she added silently.
" Then go talk to a wall."
She stiffened from the impact. In one second she went from the brink of tearful rejection to something much deeper.
The only sounds between them were the click of her heels on the brick and the tinkle of her belts as she crossed over to him. His leather clothes rustled softly as he turned towards her.
And the sound of a sharp smack reverberated between them.
His face turned sharply from the unexpected force and a red print of her hand tattoed his cheek. He stood there, silently, not looking at her.
"Why are you treating me this way? What have I ever done? I don't care how little you like me, you can at least show me some common curtesy!" She was so upset that angry tears were glistening in her eyes.
He tentatively cast his line of sight towards her and winced at the distraught and unhappy look on her face. Without a word he brushed his gloved fingers over the tears on her cheek. Her breath caught as she looked up at him questioningly.
"Look, just..don't cry, ok?"
"You still haven't answered me", she persisted stonily...but still unable to completely forget how close he was.
His hand seemed to linger on her face before he drew it away sharply.
"Why should I? My business is my own. Everyone has to take care of themselves. I don't want to carry anyone's burden", he clipped out and turned to walk away.
"....Why are you always running..?", Quistis barely whispered "What are you so afraid of?"
Squall stopped in his tracks, his back facing her.
Slowly, driven by impulse, she reached up and placed her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and she rested it back on his shoulder again.
"What are you trying to do...?" he asked as witheringly as possible.
"I just want you to look at me, in the eyes, and tell me...tell me you're annoyed that I brought you here and that you want me to leave you alone."
"Fine..." he gritted out and turned towards her. The stars put silver highlights in her hair and illuminated the trails that had streaked her cheeks. Her eyes, wide and vulnerable, seemed to keep begging him for something he knew he didn't deserve to give her. Of course to anyone else in her previous wrath she would seem like a vengeful goddess, but to him she was just like an angry kitten. Though right now, he knew he had the power to hurt her. All he had to do was say it, leave, and know he did the right thing.
But...he also knew that she'd never smile at him the same way again. And that she'd never try to crack corny jokes with him again. And that she'd never try to get him to talk to her again. Quistis had no idea how much of an open book she was. Though no one else seemed to be able to penetrate that professional surface, he knew what a romantic she was...how she always wanted that knight on a white horse.....and he always knew she had feelings for him.
But he was no knight to save her. Hell, he could barely keep himself in check. And that look in her eyes kept making him feel like she fully believed that he could single-handedly save the world, but it also made him realize all the more how much he couldn't do at all. The fact that she believed in him so damn much made him feel powerless.
And he hated that.
Or she looked at him as though he was a child she had to protect. He didn't need that. He didn't need anyone. He was perfectly capable of protecting one person, himself...and...she was just going to have to realize that the hard way.
He narrowed his eyes at her and began to form the words, but he could literally see her heart break in her eyes the second she thought he was serious. Someone watching would think she was looking at him with scorn...but he knew....he could feel it...how much she was hurting.
Because he felt the same way.......
Damn it....
He took her gloved hand in his and watched her expression closely.
"Quistis....listen...I know why you brought me out here. I know how you feel...and...you have the wrong guy. There are 20-odd Treppies sitting in there right now that would give their right arms to be by your side. They'd treat you like a goddess and be anything for you. I can't be more than what I am."
Shock registered first, and then her face burned a bright pink in embarrassment, which faded into a small smile of understanding.
"Squall, I don't want someone who puts me on a pedastal because I know how badly they'll be disenchanted at how the real person behind the name acts." She took a small step closer, her gaze lifted to his in ungaurded honesty. "I want you because you see me for what I am and I see you for what you are. Behind the labels. And..." she chewed softly on her lower lips for a moment, and averted her eyes before lifting them up again, shining with unshed tears. "And....I love you. I feel like I always have...like I have forever. And I don't want you to say a word. I know you don't feel the same way, but I never did like playing games. Whatever you decide to do now...just do as your heart tells you. And if you ask it of me I'll never speak of it again."
His knew this was his escape. She offered it to him. He hesitated and brushed one last tear from her cheek. But somehow his hand stayed cupping her face. And somehow he drew her closer. "Who says", he murmered next to her ear, "that I don't feel the same way...?"
And somehow, when his lips touched hers, it took their breath away.
The kiss they shared was sensual and achingly sweet. Squall drew back to touch his lips ever so gently on the corners of her eyelids were tears had left them moist. He could feel her heartbeat quicken.
"Quistis...." Squall began huskily.
"Don't say it...I know." she pulled him closer and rested her cheek on his chest. "I know that this isn't the time for us. Something tells me that you have something greater in store for you than this place. And though you try to deny it with every breath you take, you feel it too. You are what heroes are made of."
Squall enveloped her in his arms, his face nestled in her hair that was quickly being spotted with tears.
She smiled through the haze and cherished the moment.
"Squall....I'll be here..."
"...Why?"
"I'll be waiting...for you." she murmered softly.
"...So...
if you come here...you'll find me.
I promise."
As editor of the Balamb Bulletin, a high-ranking and well respected newspaper, I was apalled to hear that the game (FF8) made representing the events conducted a year ago were apparently completely inaccurate. We have uncovered documented photos, tape-recorded clippings, and witness accounts from the night of the SeeD Graduation of Squall Leonhart. Our head writer has written a lovely re-account of the night's activites which have been published here for everyone to read. Most of our documented information came from one Seifer Almasy, who was oddly enough very enthusiastic about helping us uncover the falacy that was made. When questioned about his source and his motive... Seifer dislocated the jaw of one of our associates. Get well soon, Jun.
Thank you--
Elle Neil (Editor)
The Forgotten Encounter-- a reinactment written by Wink Chusaino
Quistis couldn't help feeling out-of-place again. Not only was she at a dance in which people would expect you to, well...dance, but she was also in her battle uniform instead of some fru-fru ballgown. She eyed the girls her own age who were either giggling or practically purring whenever a uniformed SeeD walked by, and rolled her eyes in veiled disgust. She couldn't understand the reasoning behind all the preperation and primping just to see the same guys she'd seen every day of her life...and had assigned homework to.
Just as she was in the middle of rationalizing why she didn't dress up, instead of kicking herself for it, a girl in a tight maroon dress slid by with a puppy of a cadet trailing on her heels and shot her a look laced with pity. Quistis decided it would be wise to study her untouched wineglass. The lights from the chandelier reflected back up at her blurred and out of focus...mirroring her own disjointed thoughts. She was only 18 and she knew she had accomplished so much, but it was times like this when she wondered if maybe there was something she was missing because of her load of responsibilities. Not that it would be a problem much longer now that she was being stripped of her license.
The lecture she got from Xu about the "spider" incident was still ringing in her ears, but in the end it was a mixed blessing. Quistis leaned up against the wall and surveyed the crowd full of laughter and lights and tried for a smile. The night was a huge success, sponsers were lining up to speak with Cid about recruiting the new members, and she was able to keep Seifer at bay. She did smile at that, imagining the look of indignation falling into a haughty pout as he heard he was restricted to his quarters for the night. Well, she was justified. Tonight she didn't want any disturbances for her latest and last star pupil...
Tentatively, she scanned the crowd again. Maybe he wouldn't come. It did seem like showing up at a social gathering wouldn't be particularly conducive to his angst-boy-loner image, but, he knew it was his duty to be here tonight. And if there is anything Squall took seriosuly, it was his sense of duty.
Quistis shook her head with a touch of ire and brushed a stray locke of honey-blonde hair back from her eyes. She understood him, more than he gave her credit for. It was almost as if she could anticipate his actions and words just by the small nuances he seemed to exude. Plus, Squall really had no idea how expressive his eyes truly were. Or how unnerving they could be.
Her heels clicked on the marble softly as she began to trace the perimeter of the room. She was the one who had been nervous inside the fire cavern and had thus babbled on like a complete moron. But she had to say something to break the silence and avert the attention of those cold, piercing eyes.
A murmer surged through the crowd and she turned.
"Speak of the devil....", she exhaled ruefully as the general female populace began to primp and surge forward towards the fresh meat. Even from across the room Quistis caught panic, embarrasment, and amusement flash across his face, emphasized by the shadows cast by the candlelight. Though soon enough his features were chiseled back into non-chalance, and he made his way to a quiet corner.
Quistis knew she must have something better to do then gawk at a student, but he was unmistakably attractive to her. It wasn't just the way he moved so confidently, or how he looked lounging against the wall in that uniform. Most of it was this overpowering desire to see him smile or replace that caged look in his eyes with one of peace.
Something in her wanted to protect him. Something about him cried out to be saved regardless of his hard, indifferent exterior. And foolish Quistis Trepe was in love with him.
The ironic part had to be that she knew how impossible her feelings for him where. The chances of him reciprocating where about the same as him happily dancing. A giggle escaped her rose-tinted lips at the ludicrousness of the thought since he practically had "Approach and DIE" tattoed on his forehead.
Settling back into the shadows cast by the chandelier, she continued to regard him thoughtfuly. That scar of his would mar the face of any other man. She knew it had to be due to her own biased thinking since the mirror-mark left on Seifer only seemed to make him more ruggedly bully-ish, but certainly didn't increase his appeal. At least not to her.
But...on Squall...
Without warning Quistis' lips thinned and she turned on her heel, facing the wall. Shadows played on its surface, dancing and laughing. It was all so ridiculous. She was behaving like some love-starved floozy instead of a strong, independant woman. This obsession of hers had to stop. It just wasn't going to be...she would have to accept that.
Inhaling deeply, silently, she closed her eyes and refused to acknowledge the tears clinging precipitously on her lashes. A flick of the wrist and a moment later she turned, a small smile painted on her face. It was to the world as if nothing had ever troubled the cool veneer of Instructor Trepe.
Quistis decided it would be in her best interest to leave, now, while she still felt like she had some shred of dignity left. She couldn't rationalize having much after spending 99% of the whole celebration staring at her student. Well....ex-student after tonight.
Sliding through the crowd, she knew no one would question her leaving or her absence. She had the freedom to go back up to her dorm and....and.....
She rolled her cynic-turned eyes at her own hesitation. It didn't matter...
About ten yards to freedom and she spotted Selphie clutching her sign-up sheet like a shield and wielding her smile like a sword. Everyone knew that certain death lurked on that clipboard and kept their distance. Quistis was not willing to be the exception. Making a 180 towards the back doors, she faced a throng of hedonists sparkling with starlight and champagne bubbles. Her steps stilled and she felt an angry flush stain her cheeks.
Why couldn't she be like them ?! Why couldn't she dance without a care with one of the Treppies, smile seductively, and just be done with the night? Why did every man there pale to him in her eyes? Why was she waiting for him to wake up and realize he loved her? Why was she feeling this way !?
It was simple....because she was foolish enough to hope for what she was intelligent enough to know could never happen.
Chewing on her lower lip softly, she reigned her emotions back under control. Treading lightly, as if her whole world were made of breaking glass, she stepped through the crowd. She didn't think anything could puncture the careful shell she had constructed for the sole purpose of making it back to her room in one piece, but from the corner of her shaded eyes she saw an achingly familiar face...
.....on the dance floor....?
Quistis whirled around, the chains riding low on her hips tinkling like bells. Her eyes widened and the aqua irises, unshaded by the fringe of her lashes, became a soft baby blue.
He was dancing, perfectly, like in a dream, with some beautiful brunette in a cream-colored dress. But not only that, he was smiling. Quistis shook her head in amazement, a smile of her own staining her lips. Squall was actually dancing. Recalling her private jest she watched as they twirled in perfect harmony to the lilting music, and it was a balm to her heart. Maybe there was a way to melt Squall's exterior after all. Maybe it wasn't so impossible.
Maybe...she had a chance.
The music ended as fireworks exploded cheerfully above the glass expanse, raining color and life down upon everything beneath. Quistis watched as the two parted ways, the angelic girl towards Cid and Squall slipped out onto the back balcony.
Without a definite plan in mind, she followed him to the glass doors. Before exiting Quistis glanced up through the dome and smiled at the moon...for luck.
"You really are an excellent student", she began as she entered the quiet, star-strewn terrace and settled beside him. "Even that dance was perfect."
Squall shrugged, crinkling the stiff fabric and didn't look at her.
"Thank you", he replied non-commitally and fell into silence.
A slight breeze ruffled his hair as she waited beside him. Waited for what, she wasn't entirely sure. Maybe for just a small sign that the smiling Squall she had glimpsed a moment ago wasn't just a figment of her imagination. Tucking a stray locke behind her ear, Quistis listened to the soothing sound of rustling leaves and leaned against the banister.
"Yes?", he asked, his voice tinged with cool, distant respect.
She could tell he was growing uncomfortable with the intruding silence.
"So you'll dance with someone you don't even know, but you can't stand being around me?", she replied, glancing at him with an impish half-smile.
He shot her a quizzical look.
"...Whatever. You're an instructor, and I'm your student. It's kind of awkward when you don't say anything."
She smiled softly at his profile and assessed him silently. Something was definitely a bit different about tonight if Squall Leonhart was feeling uncomfortable with silence. Like maybe the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse rode by without her noticing.
"That's true. I was like that myself", she brushed off and gazed again at the lovely panorama. Maybe if she got him into a deeper conversation she could carve through that ice...Too bad there were so many people around that could come out at any moment and ...throw up in the bushes or something. That'd ruin the moment. But it was so beautiful out she didn't want to leave... Suddenly a bolt of inspiration struck her.
"Oh, I completely forgot. I wonder what's to become of me? ", she turned towards him as he cocked an eyebrow in her general direction. "I've come to give you an order. You and I are to go to the 'secret area'. It's where students secretly meet up and talk after curfew. It's inside the training center."
He shook his head and regarded her with bored incredulity.
" What do you want to do there? Are we going there to tell everyone they're violating curfew? If that's the case, forget it. Leave that for the disciplinary committee", he replied in strained dismissal.
He really did try too hard sometimes.
Quistis yeilded a soft, partially suppressed laugh that floated above the sound of music wafting through the closed doors. "Go get changed and meet me in front of the training center." she rejoined with a smile tinting her voice. "This will be my last order", she tossed over her shoulder as she left the terrace.
Departing was a piece of cake now that Selphie was preoccupied on the other side of the room with some poor guest cuckolded into selling away his soul. She offered up a prayer for him and glided out of the ballroom. When the doors closed behind her it was like entering a quiet sanctuary in comparison. But on the inside she was in turmoil....
Alright, now she was going to have her chance...her first and maybe last shot of being able to really talk to him one on one...and hope he'll listen to what she wasn't saying as much as what she was....
She continued to muse silently as her boots clicked loudly and echoed on the deserted marble path towards the training center. Her mind seemed to be a whirlwind of disjointed thoughts circling her mind and heart.
Before she knew it she could feel a pair of eyes burning a hole into her back. Turning slowly, she faced Squall and her countenance softened into a greeting smile. He quickly looked away and walked past her, ire tracing his characteristic indifference.
She followed silently, not sure yet of what to make of such an acknowledgment. He seemed either severly annoyed or, she hoped, unsure of himself and thus overcompensating with treating her like that. She shrugged it off for now and followed him inside the training center.
Together they fought silently side-by-side through several trivial battles. There was always a certain repore between them on the field that belied words, but tonight it seemed especially strong. She always seemed to know just when to heal the wounds he wouldn't take care of, and he always seemed to find ways to lend her a hand should she take on too much.
By the time they arrived to the 'secret area', Quistis was in high spirits. The spot was enchantingly bathed in pale moonlight and her eyes sparkled with childish delight at the view. Squall pointedly tried not to notice...
" I haven't been here for a while", she breathed as Squall hunched over the rail.
Quistis rested her elbows on it and smiled softly into the breeze. "What time is it?" she asked idly.
"It's after midnight", he replied stifly.
Quitis stretched her arms behind her back and then lifted her palms towards the sky.
" Oh well... I, Quistis Trepe, am no longer an instructor as of now! I'm a member of SeeD now, just like you. Who knows, maybe we'll end up working together", she leaned back down, her hands framing her cheeks on the rail as she grinned up at him.
Squall barely glanced at her from the corner of his eye and subtely turned away. He shouldn't have come...
The silence thickened between them. Quistis' smile faded and ....was lost. Her gaze slowly drooped and fell to the ground. Squall peered over and caught the top of her head bowed slightly. He felt like an ass....but that was the point.
" ...Oh really?" his voice cut her with it's obvious apathy.
"Is...that all you're going to say?", she asked faltering for something to reply.
He shrugged and raked his fingers through his hair in irritation.
" If that's how it was decided, you have to abide by it."
Quistis shifted closer into herself and her vision blurred softly at the edges.
"They told me that I failed as an instructor. Basically, that I lacked leadership qualities. I was a SeeD by the age of 15, got my instructor license at 17... It's only been a year since I got it... I wonder where I went wrong... I did my best...", she paused and inhaled smoothly past the lump in her throat. "...Are you listening?"
Squall closed his eyes with a slight shake of his head.
"Are you done yet...? I don't wanna talk about it. What am I supposed to say about other people's problems?"
Quistis felt lost, shaken...what had she done to deserve that?
"I'm not asking you to say anything. I..I just want you to listen. " And care, she added silently.
" Then go talk to a wall."
She stiffened from the impact. In one second she went from the brink of tearful rejection to something much deeper.
The only sounds between them were the click of her heels on the brick and the tinkle of her belts as she crossed over to him. His leather clothes rustled softly as he turned towards her.
And the sound of a sharp smack reverberated between them.
His face turned sharply from the unexpected force and a red print of her hand tattoed his cheek. He stood there, silently, not looking at her.
"Why are you treating me this way? What have I ever done? I don't care how little you like me, you can at least show me some common curtesy!" She was so upset that angry tears were glistening in her eyes.
He tentatively cast his line of sight towards her and winced at the distraught and unhappy look on her face. Without a word he brushed his gloved fingers over the tears on her cheek. Her breath caught as she looked up at him questioningly.
"Look, just..don't cry, ok?"
"You still haven't answered me", she persisted stonily...but still unable to completely forget how close he was.
His hand seemed to linger on her face before he drew it away sharply.
"Why should I? My business is my own. Everyone has to take care of themselves. I don't want to carry anyone's burden", he clipped out and turned to walk away.
"....Why are you always running..?", Quistis barely whispered "What are you so afraid of?"
Squall stopped in his tracks, his back facing her.
Slowly, driven by impulse, she reached up and placed her hand on his shoulder. He shrugged it off and she rested it back on his shoulder again.
"What are you trying to do...?" he asked as witheringly as possible.
"I just want you to look at me, in the eyes, and tell me...tell me you're annoyed that I brought you here and that you want me to leave you alone."
"Fine..." he gritted out and turned towards her. The stars put silver highlights in her hair and illuminated the trails that had streaked her cheeks. Her eyes, wide and vulnerable, seemed to keep begging him for something he knew he didn't deserve to give her. Of course to anyone else in her previous wrath she would seem like a vengeful goddess, but to him she was just like an angry kitten. Though right now, he knew he had the power to hurt her. All he had to do was say it, leave, and know he did the right thing.
But...he also knew that she'd never smile at him the same way again. And that she'd never try to crack corny jokes with him again. And that she'd never try to get him to talk to her again. Quistis had no idea how much of an open book she was. Though no one else seemed to be able to penetrate that professional surface, he knew what a romantic she was...how she always wanted that knight on a white horse.....and he always knew she had feelings for him.
But he was no knight to save her. Hell, he could barely keep himself in check. And that look in her eyes kept making him feel like she fully believed that he could single-handedly save the world, but it also made him realize all the more how much he couldn't do at all. The fact that she believed in him so damn much made him feel powerless.
And he hated that.
Or she looked at him as though he was a child she had to protect. He didn't need that. He didn't need anyone. He was perfectly capable of protecting one person, himself...and...she was just going to have to realize that the hard way.
He narrowed his eyes at her and began to form the words, but he could literally see her heart break in her eyes the second she thought he was serious. Someone watching would think she was looking at him with scorn...but he knew....he could feel it...how much she was hurting.
Because he felt the same way.......
Damn it....
He took her gloved hand in his and watched her expression closely.
"Quistis....listen...I know why you brought me out here. I know how you feel...and...you have the wrong guy. There are 20-odd Treppies sitting in there right now that would give their right arms to be by your side. They'd treat you like a goddess and be anything for you. I can't be more than what I am."
Shock registered first, and then her face burned a bright pink in embarrassment, which faded into a small smile of understanding.
"Squall, I don't want someone who puts me on a pedastal because I know how badly they'll be disenchanted at how the real person behind the name acts." She took a small step closer, her gaze lifted to his in ungaurded honesty. "I want you because you see me for what I am and I see you for what you are. Behind the labels. And..." she chewed softly on her lower lips for a moment, and averted her eyes before lifting them up again, shining with unshed tears. "And....I love you. I feel like I always have...like I have forever. And I don't want you to say a word. I know you don't feel the same way, but I never did like playing games. Whatever you decide to do now...just do as your heart tells you. And if you ask it of me I'll never speak of it again."
His knew this was his escape. She offered it to him. He hesitated and brushed one last tear from her cheek. But somehow his hand stayed cupping her face. And somehow he drew her closer. "Who says", he murmered next to her ear, "that I don't feel the same way...?"
And somehow, when his lips touched hers, it took their breath away.
The kiss they shared was sensual and achingly sweet. Squall drew back to touch his lips ever so gently on the corners of her eyelids were tears had left them moist. He could feel her heartbeat quicken.
"Quistis...." Squall began huskily.
"Don't say it...I know." she pulled him closer and rested her cheek on his chest. "I know that this isn't the time for us. Something tells me that you have something greater in store for you than this place. And though you try to deny it with every breath you take, you feel it too. You are what heroes are made of."
Squall enveloped her in his arms, his face nestled in her hair that was quickly being spotted with tears.
She smiled through the haze and cherished the moment.
"Squall....I'll be here..."
"...Why?"
"I'll be waiting...for you." she murmered softly.
"...So...
if you come here...you'll find me.
I promise."