Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist (Duh) and credit for Fullmetal Legacy names go to the Risembol Rangers.
Scissors In The Wrong Hands
It was a normal day for Edward Elric. He enjoyed his peaceful life with Winry and his two children, Aaron and Trisha. It would still be a while before his kids got back from school, and he was taking a nap on the couch as he always did at this time of day. He slept in his usual manner, meaning he was on his back with his hand resting on his exposed stomach. This would usually make Winry laugh but unfortunately she was not in a good mood that day. She had been working tirelessly since dawn and was beginning to get tired of Ed's regular nap taking.
As she stood there scrutinizing him she realized that his hair had become exceptionally long. Much longer than he usually kept it. Winry then decided to take matters into her own hands.
She marched to the kitchen where she kept a pair of scissors in a drawer. After she retrieved them she began to head back to the couch where Ed was sleeping. Before she incurred the wrath of a tired Ed she thought she should grab her wrench just in case.
So she quickly ran to her workshop and grabbed her largest spanner. She sprinted back to Ed in the hopes that he wouldn't wake before she got there. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw he was still fast asleep.
She tiptoed up to Ed's side with her scissors and spanner at the ready. And in one quick sweep she grabbed Ed's ponytail and snipped the whole thing right off. Ed's head flopped back onto the arm of the couch with a violent plop, instantly snapping him awake.
He looked around the room with a scowl from being awoken so suddenly. He then spotted Winry standing there with his severed ponytail and wrench in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other. It took him a moment to process what had happened but once he did even the mighty Truth could not stop his wrath.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!? YOU'RE LUCKY I DON'T HAVE MY ALCHEMY BECAUSE IF I DID-", Ed was cut off abruptly by Winry's wrench connecting with his temple.
Ed fell dazed to the floor, a lump already beginning to form on his head. Ed stood up slowly and shot a glare at Winry that could curdle dairy, in fact it has.
"Don't you hit me with a wrench! I should be hitting you with a wrench! You're the one who ruined my hair!", Ed charged at Winry but stopped dead halfway when the front door opened and Trisha and Aaron walked in.
"Daddy, what happened to your hair?", Trisha asked alarmed.
"Your mother cut it off! See!", Ed pointed frantically towards the bundle of golden hair still clutched in Winry's hand.
Winry shook the ponytail in Edward's face and began ranting, "It's your own fault! It was getting too long, you should have cut it yourself! It was bugging me!"
"Bugging you!? You should have asked me to cut it-", Ed was once again interrupted, instead of a wrench though this time it was his son.
"Mommy's right though. Your hair was really long," Aaron looked up sweetly at his father with a twinkle in his eye.
Edward just stood for a moment, staring at his traitor child. Then he said with a smirk, "Oh really? Well sir you have just declared war," Ed ran to Aaron and began tickling him.
Aaron tried to fight back, but it was futile. Soon his sides were splitting from laughter. Eventually Winry and Trisha joined in as well. Before long they were all rolling on the floor unable to control their laughter.
After the commotion died down Edward would soon realize that he would, in fact, have to cut his hair.