Disclaimer: I own nothing, I make nothing.
AN: This is in response to Nytd's fanfiction challenge--as with Ctina's
story,see the end for the requirements. For those of you who may not have read "A
Witch, a Wolf, and a Serpent", I'm putting in a blatant plug to go check it
out. Read and review, please.
Remus Lupin was having a bad day.
Two more Howlers had arrived at breakfast from parents complaining
about the Board's decision to allow Dumbledore to rehire him--not
that the lack of job applicants had provided them with much choice.
His back was still aching from last week's transformation, and he
had had three owls in two days from the Registry reminding him that
his files needed to be updated. On top of everything else, Neville
Longbottom had knocked over his cage, releasing the recently-acquired
Australian Billywig. In case dealing with a group of giggling,
floating teenagers wasn't enough, Snape had chosen that moment to
saunter past and had been providing a running critique of his teaching
abilities the entire afternoon.
Somehow, Remus didn't think that this evening's meeting with Dumbledore
would improve his mood.
He sighed, brow furrowed. "I'm getting to old for this shit."
"You never know, Moony--the ladies appreciate a few gray hairs."
Spinning around, Remus allowed a grin to spread across his face.
"Padfoot! What in the world...what are you doing here? I thought you
were enjoying your freedom with that blonde from Newcastle."
Sirius' expression grew dark. "Yeah, well, I would be, but that damn
Skeeter woman caught up with us."
"What, you think 'Harry Potter's Godfather Caught in Seaside Tryst'
is front page news?"
Sirius cast a sideways glance at him. "'Harry Potter's Godfather'
would have been in more trouble than that. Dumbledore hasn't told you
what this meeting is about, has he."
Remus shook his head. "Tell me about it on the way to the dungeons.
I have to deliver these Billywig stingers to Snape."
Sirius suddenly looked interested. "Billywig stingers? Aren't those
only used in love potions?"
"Apparently one of his seventh years choose to concoct the Adamare
Potion for his Advanced Potions thesis, but neglected to include the
oak leaves."
"So what happened?"
"It was the last step. Apparently, oak diminishes the explosive
qualities of the potion--his cauldron blew up and shared the love
with everyone working around him. He's lucky I had the Billywig on
hand--they're hard to get a hold of. Snape'll need it for the
antidote. Now, what do you know about tonight's meeting that I don't?"
"OK. You know the blonde I was seeing?"
"Yeah. The one with the legs."
"That's the one. She's a Death Eater."
"What?"
"Yeah. Apparently she's been in Voldemort's inner circle for some
time now."
"You know, Padfoot, it's one thing to go to bed with the rich and
famous, but you're right--Rita really would have had a good time
with that one."
Sirius glared at him. "Will you let me finish? Anyhow, the whole
reason I'm here, and that we're having this meeting, is that
apparently she thinks I fall into the 'good-looking but stupid'
category" --he was interrupted again by Remus' snort-- "and that my
time at Azkaban may have softened my attitude towards Voldemort.
Hey," he held up his hands at Remus' skeptical expression, "I didn't
say she was a smart Death Eater. She used to be Severus' lover, after
all."
"Wait--Severus? Had a *lover*? A blonde, leggy one?"
"Yeah, who knew? Anyhow, She's planning to present my case to the other
Death Eaters tomorrow night. What she doesn't realize is that I placed
the Invenire charm on her--."
"Without her realizing it?"
"Let's just say she was...distracted." Remus grimaced at the thought of
Sirius "distracting" the same person Snape had slept with. "Anyhow,
I'll be able to find her tomorrow night. When Dumbledore and I discussed
it earlier, it seemed as if your--heightened sensory abilities--might
come in handy, and Snape will have some idea about what security measures
might be taken. Since he can't serve as Dumbledore's spy anymore, at least
he can help us with a little reconnaissance."
As they took the last steps into the hall outside of Snape's dungeon,
wild laughter could be heard from inside. The two hastened their pace and
stepped inside. They hesitated at the door for an instant before Black
fell to the floor in laughter.
Remus could understand his amusement. Snape's normally sterile dungeon was
utter chaos. His combined 6th-7th year class were scattered about in small
groups, laughing as they observed each others' exploits. He watched as a
Gryfinndor 7th year and a Slytherin 6th year gave into the inevitable and
slipped under the work bench, then listened on as their companions began to
take bets on how far things would go. Snape stood at the front, stirring a
potion and glaring about the room, then at Remus and Sirius.
Sirius, finally managing to regain his composure, sauntered to the front of
the room. "Need some help, Snape?"
Snape turned sourly upon him. "Not from you, Black."
"Why are they all still here, Severus?" Remus asked.
His glare turning even darker than usual, he replied, "Madame Pomfrey wouldn't
allow them in sickbay. She said they'd be 'too disruptive'--as if they aren't
here."
"Have you told Dumbledore?"
Snape slammed the vial he had just emptied onto the table so hard that it
shattered. "Obviously. He came by long enough to remind me we have a meeting
tonight and to prevent me from revoking house points from Harry Potter and the
others."
As Sirius opened up his mouth, presumably with a smart-ass remark, a petite
Slytherin 6th year ran up full speed to the front table, grabbed Snape by the front of his robes, and bent him down into a deep kiss.
Sirius fell down.
"Miss Scelere, you'll join the others in detention."
"The others?" Remus asked, shocked at Severus' calm demeanor.
"Miss Rana, Miss Bulstrode, and Miss Belua will all be joining Miss
Scelere while she rebottles potions tomorrow night."
Sirius stood up. "Hate to point this out, Snape, but in this case
that may not be much of a punishment."
Snape gave him the evil eye. "Pity, Black, that the dementors had to
let you go without giving you that final kiss."
"No, that's my job" piped a small voice from behind them. A short
Slytherin stood on his tiptoes, pecked Sirius on the cheek and ran off.
Sirius' expression suddenly grew dark. "How long till you have that
antidote ready?"
"Still find it as amusing, Black? As soon as Remus gives me those stingers." Snape added the final ingredient and the potion turned a dark blue and began to boil gently. After Sirius and Remus had helped him to round up the students from various corners and tables, they began to administer the antidote, resulting in a room of very calm, highly embarrassed students--except for one.
"Draco Malfoy!"
At the sound of Snape's voice, usually so tolerant towards him, Draco spun
around quickly and promptly slipped, hitting his head on the desk. "Wha--"
he slurred. Pansy Parkinson, his partner for the class in more ways than
one, looked at him curiously, her cheeks flushed from both exertion and
embarrassment.
Snape approached their table. "Mr. Malfoy. Did you just take the antidote?"
Malfoy squinted up at him. "Wha--yeah. I thin' I did."
"But you weren't hit with the Adamare potion, were you?"
Malfoy paused. "No, I jus--" Even in his somewhat intoxicated state, he
realized from Pansy's sudden shocked, furious expression that his answer
wasn't the right one. "I mean--yeah, I...." Seeing that his situation
wasn't improving, he sought to cast blame on his usual victim. "Sir, is'
Har'y Podder's faul--."
Snape's face was frozen with fury. "Mr. Malfoy, your actions were most
unworthy of your house. I will have to talk--."
Draco knew the answer to this one. "--to the sorting hat. Yeah, let's
talk to it. I can say, 'Hello, Hat, you sing really--" He stopped.
Apparently this answer wasn't right either. He looked up as he felt a
hand on his shoulder. It was that werewolf--he stood up to move out of
his grasp, only to suddenly fall on top of him as Pansy tackled them both
with a shrill scream. By the time Sirius pulled them apart, Remus had a
cut on his forehead and Draco a bloody nose. Both were staring at Pansy
in shock. Draco stared up at Sirius. "You--you save' my life."
"I know. I'm quite the hero." Sirius grinned. As Remus rolled his eyes,
Severus glared again at Draco.
"Goyle, Crabbe, take him up to sickbay and have Poppy tend to him. This,
ladies and gentlemen, is one example of why one shouldn't ever take an
antidote without need. Without the chemical interactions of the Adamare
Potion, the effect is...quite different. With that in mind, get out of
my dungeon."
As the students left, Snape looked around with a sigh at the overturned
furniture, then at Sirius, still laughing. Even the werewolf wasn't able
to hide his smile.
"Try and get control of yourselves before the meeting, please." he snapped,
and stalked out of the room.
Remus and Sirius looked at each other and grinned. Maybe this day wasn't so
bad after all.
Here's the premise. Remus, Sirius and Severus are the main characters. They
get sent on a mission for Dumbledore together to gather intelligence about
Death Eater activity and whereabouts. (just get back/about to go ok also as
long as the mission plays an important part in the story)
Should be one or two chapters. Rating whatever you like. Not slash, please.
Ok to be comedy, angst, romance, drama - you name it. May be year 5 or
beyond. May include any other characters that you wish. Sirius may be free
or a fugitive in hiding still. Severus may still be a spy or not. (Sorry,
Remus is still a werewolf.)
Stipulations: At some time in the story Sirius Black gets kissed by a man.
(Yes, that's right, I said not slash.)
Severus gets kissed by no fewer than four different women. (Hard to imagine,
I know, but it is a challenge after all.)
Remus must discover a very important piece of information about Snape's past,
good or bad.
One of them must have a conversation with the sorting hat.
Someone in the story must say "I'm getting too old for this shit." (Bleep it
if you have to for rating)
At least one person must get substantially drunk.
Remus must demonstrate/use his knowledge of Defense in some way.
Severus must make/use a unique potion.
Sirius must save someone's life.
Every character in the story must say the name 'Harry Potter' once
AN: This is in response to Nytd's fanfiction challenge--as with Ctina's
story,see the end for the requirements. For those of you who may not have read "A
Witch, a Wolf, and a Serpent", I'm putting in a blatant plug to go check it
out. Read and review, please.
Remus Lupin was having a bad day.
Two more Howlers had arrived at breakfast from parents complaining
about the Board's decision to allow Dumbledore to rehire him--not
that the lack of job applicants had provided them with much choice.
His back was still aching from last week's transformation, and he
had had three owls in two days from the Registry reminding him that
his files needed to be updated. On top of everything else, Neville
Longbottom had knocked over his cage, releasing the recently-acquired
Australian Billywig. In case dealing with a group of giggling,
floating teenagers wasn't enough, Snape had chosen that moment to
saunter past and had been providing a running critique of his teaching
abilities the entire afternoon.
Somehow, Remus didn't think that this evening's meeting with Dumbledore
would improve his mood.
He sighed, brow furrowed. "I'm getting to old for this shit."
"You never know, Moony--the ladies appreciate a few gray hairs."
Spinning around, Remus allowed a grin to spread across his face.
"Padfoot! What in the world...what are you doing here? I thought you
were enjoying your freedom with that blonde from Newcastle."
Sirius' expression grew dark. "Yeah, well, I would be, but that damn
Skeeter woman caught up with us."
"What, you think 'Harry Potter's Godfather Caught in Seaside Tryst'
is front page news?"
Sirius cast a sideways glance at him. "'Harry Potter's Godfather'
would have been in more trouble than that. Dumbledore hasn't told you
what this meeting is about, has he."
Remus shook his head. "Tell me about it on the way to the dungeons.
I have to deliver these Billywig stingers to Snape."
Sirius suddenly looked interested. "Billywig stingers? Aren't those
only used in love potions?"
"Apparently one of his seventh years choose to concoct the Adamare
Potion for his Advanced Potions thesis, but neglected to include the
oak leaves."
"So what happened?"
"It was the last step. Apparently, oak diminishes the explosive
qualities of the potion--his cauldron blew up and shared the love
with everyone working around him. He's lucky I had the Billywig on
hand--they're hard to get a hold of. Snape'll need it for the
antidote. Now, what do you know about tonight's meeting that I don't?"
"OK. You know the blonde I was seeing?"
"Yeah. The one with the legs."
"That's the one. She's a Death Eater."
"What?"
"Yeah. Apparently she's been in Voldemort's inner circle for some
time now."
"You know, Padfoot, it's one thing to go to bed with the rich and
famous, but you're right--Rita really would have had a good time
with that one."
Sirius glared at him. "Will you let me finish? Anyhow, the whole
reason I'm here, and that we're having this meeting, is that
apparently she thinks I fall into the 'good-looking but stupid'
category" --he was interrupted again by Remus' snort-- "and that my
time at Azkaban may have softened my attitude towards Voldemort.
Hey," he held up his hands at Remus' skeptical expression, "I didn't
say she was a smart Death Eater. She used to be Severus' lover, after
all."
"Wait--Severus? Had a *lover*? A blonde, leggy one?"
"Yeah, who knew? Anyhow, She's planning to present my case to the other
Death Eaters tomorrow night. What she doesn't realize is that I placed
the Invenire charm on her--."
"Without her realizing it?"
"Let's just say she was...distracted." Remus grimaced at the thought of
Sirius "distracting" the same person Snape had slept with. "Anyhow,
I'll be able to find her tomorrow night. When Dumbledore and I discussed
it earlier, it seemed as if your--heightened sensory abilities--might
come in handy, and Snape will have some idea about what security measures
might be taken. Since he can't serve as Dumbledore's spy anymore, at least
he can help us with a little reconnaissance."
As they took the last steps into the hall outside of Snape's dungeon,
wild laughter could be heard from inside. The two hastened their pace and
stepped inside. They hesitated at the door for an instant before Black
fell to the floor in laughter.
Remus could understand his amusement. Snape's normally sterile dungeon was
utter chaos. His combined 6th-7th year class were scattered about in small
groups, laughing as they observed each others' exploits. He watched as a
Gryfinndor 7th year and a Slytherin 6th year gave into the inevitable and
slipped under the work bench, then listened on as their companions began to
take bets on how far things would go. Snape stood at the front, stirring a
potion and glaring about the room, then at Remus and Sirius.
Sirius, finally managing to regain his composure, sauntered to the front of
the room. "Need some help, Snape?"
Snape turned sourly upon him. "Not from you, Black."
"Why are they all still here, Severus?" Remus asked.
His glare turning even darker than usual, he replied, "Madame Pomfrey wouldn't
allow them in sickbay. She said they'd be 'too disruptive'--as if they aren't
here."
"Have you told Dumbledore?"
Snape slammed the vial he had just emptied onto the table so hard that it
shattered. "Obviously. He came by long enough to remind me we have a meeting
tonight and to prevent me from revoking house points from Harry Potter and the
others."
As Sirius opened up his mouth, presumably with a smart-ass remark, a petite
Slytherin 6th year ran up full speed to the front table, grabbed Snape by the front of his robes, and bent him down into a deep kiss.
Sirius fell down.
"Miss Scelere, you'll join the others in detention."
"The others?" Remus asked, shocked at Severus' calm demeanor.
"Miss Rana, Miss Bulstrode, and Miss Belua will all be joining Miss
Scelere while she rebottles potions tomorrow night."
Sirius stood up. "Hate to point this out, Snape, but in this case
that may not be much of a punishment."
Snape gave him the evil eye. "Pity, Black, that the dementors had to
let you go without giving you that final kiss."
"No, that's my job" piped a small voice from behind them. A short
Slytherin stood on his tiptoes, pecked Sirius on the cheek and ran off.
Sirius' expression suddenly grew dark. "How long till you have that
antidote ready?"
"Still find it as amusing, Black? As soon as Remus gives me those stingers." Snape added the final ingredient and the potion turned a dark blue and began to boil gently. After Sirius and Remus had helped him to round up the students from various corners and tables, they began to administer the antidote, resulting in a room of very calm, highly embarrassed students--except for one.
"Draco Malfoy!"
At the sound of Snape's voice, usually so tolerant towards him, Draco spun
around quickly and promptly slipped, hitting his head on the desk. "Wha--"
he slurred. Pansy Parkinson, his partner for the class in more ways than
one, looked at him curiously, her cheeks flushed from both exertion and
embarrassment.
Snape approached their table. "Mr. Malfoy. Did you just take the antidote?"
Malfoy squinted up at him. "Wha--yeah. I thin' I did."
"But you weren't hit with the Adamare potion, were you?"
Malfoy paused. "No, I jus--" Even in his somewhat intoxicated state, he
realized from Pansy's sudden shocked, furious expression that his answer
wasn't the right one. "I mean--yeah, I...." Seeing that his situation
wasn't improving, he sought to cast blame on his usual victim. "Sir, is'
Har'y Podder's faul--."
Snape's face was frozen with fury. "Mr. Malfoy, your actions were most
unworthy of your house. I will have to talk--."
Draco knew the answer to this one. "--to the sorting hat. Yeah, let's
talk to it. I can say, 'Hello, Hat, you sing really--" He stopped.
Apparently this answer wasn't right either. He looked up as he felt a
hand on his shoulder. It was that werewolf--he stood up to move out of
his grasp, only to suddenly fall on top of him as Pansy tackled them both
with a shrill scream. By the time Sirius pulled them apart, Remus had a
cut on his forehead and Draco a bloody nose. Both were staring at Pansy
in shock. Draco stared up at Sirius. "You--you save' my life."
"I know. I'm quite the hero." Sirius grinned. As Remus rolled his eyes,
Severus glared again at Draco.
"Goyle, Crabbe, take him up to sickbay and have Poppy tend to him. This,
ladies and gentlemen, is one example of why one shouldn't ever take an
antidote without need. Without the chemical interactions of the Adamare
Potion, the effect is...quite different. With that in mind, get out of
my dungeon."
As the students left, Snape looked around with a sigh at the overturned
furniture, then at Sirius, still laughing. Even the werewolf wasn't able
to hide his smile.
"Try and get control of yourselves before the meeting, please." he snapped,
and stalked out of the room.
Remus and Sirius looked at each other and grinned. Maybe this day wasn't so
bad after all.
Here's the premise. Remus, Sirius and Severus are the main characters. They
get sent on a mission for Dumbledore together to gather intelligence about
Death Eater activity and whereabouts. (just get back/about to go ok also as
long as the mission plays an important part in the story)
Should be one or two chapters. Rating whatever you like. Not slash, please.
Ok to be comedy, angst, romance, drama - you name it. May be year 5 or
beyond. May include any other characters that you wish. Sirius may be free
or a fugitive in hiding still. Severus may still be a spy or not. (Sorry,
Remus is still a werewolf.)
Stipulations: At some time in the story Sirius Black gets kissed by a man.
(Yes, that's right, I said not slash.)
Severus gets kissed by no fewer than four different women. (Hard to imagine,
I know, but it is a challenge after all.)
Remus must discover a very important piece of information about Snape's past,
good or bad.
One of them must have a conversation with the sorting hat.
Someone in the story must say "I'm getting too old for this shit." (Bleep it
if you have to for rating)
At least one person must get substantially drunk.
Remus must demonstrate/use his knowledge of Defense in some way.
Severus must make/use a unique potion.
Sirius must save someone's life.
Every character in the story must say the name 'Harry Potter' once