I don't own "Chuck" or anything else referenced here, and basically have no right to be doing any of this.
So, this idea just popped in my head, and I had to run with it. Don't worry, I'll be finishing up with "Chuck vs. the Island Getaway" in the next couple of days. But this is just like that, minus the angst, mystery, plot and logic.
Not much introduction is necessary, other than that this story takes place just after the end of Season 2, and I assume (and hope) that it will bear no resemblance to anything that will happen in Season 3.
Chuck vs. the Side Effect
Chapter 4, er, 1 – A New Hopelessness
The gold lame jumpsuit was not one of Lester's better decisions.
This was the first thought that jumped into Chuck's head as he sat there watching the game. Lester was staring at the chessboard, while his partner watched him in surly silence. Finally, Lester moved his bishop and loudly announced, "Checkmate!"
Casey growled in disgust, his bearded face only partially hiding the scowl.
From behind him, Chuck heard Morgan say, "Not a good idea."
"What?" Lester protested. "I won fair and square."
"Maybe so. But Casey isn't exactly a good loser. He has a tendency to pull people's arms out of their sockets. Next time, I suggest letting him win."
"Oh," Lester's face turned ashen.
Chuck turned to examine his surroundings. The room was dark, and several boxes surrounded the walls. He moved over to one of the boxes, and saw that they were filled with various electronics equipment, all marked 'Buy More'.
He also noticed that the room was moving.
"Are we in a truck?"
Morgan gave Chuck a funny look. "Did you get hit in the head at the bar back there? Of course we're in my truck!"
"But all this stuff belongs to the Buy More!"
Morgan shook his head. "Hey, it's not my fault that Emmitt doesn't lock the back door. Besides, nobody is going to catch us. This truck is fast! Did I ever tell you about the time I made it to Valencia in under 12 parsecs?"
"Uh, Morgan, you do know that a parsec is a unit of distance, not time, right?"
Before Morgan could reply, there was a crashing sound from behind the boxes, and Chuck watched Jeff stumble into view. He said something that to Chuck sounded more like a bunch of gibberish and chirps.
"Wow, he's still toasted, huh?" Morgan commented, and Casey growled in response.
"Hold on, I've gotten used to Jeff when he's this messed up. I can understand him." Lester leaned over to Jeff. "He says he forgot he had a video message on his cell phone. He handed the phone to Chuck. "He thinks it's for you."
Chuck leaned over the phone, and watched the video. It was Sarah.
After watching the message, he said, "That's it?"
Jeff said something else that Chuck couldn't understand. "Jeff said he fell on the phone back at the bar, so it might be a bit damaged," Lester explained. "What did it say?"
"She said something like 'Help me OG1, you're my only hope. Who's OG1, anyway?"
"Hang on, I'll get him," Morgan responded. He knocked on the front wall of the truck, and said "Yo!" A moment later, Chuck felt the truck stop.
A moment later, the back door of the truck opened, and Devon climbed in. "What's up, bro?"
Chuck looked at his brother-in-law curiously. He was surprised to see how much being married to his sister had aged Devon. "Wait, you're OG1?"
"Yeah, dude. Don't you remember that was my nickname from back at the Gamma Epsilon Delta Iota fraternity. You know, Original Gangsta 1? Man, those were awesome times."
"Right. How could I forget," Chuck said wryly. His head was really starting to spin.
"So, what's up, bro? You want to get back to training? I've got the blindfold and the punching bag ready. Just remember to put more force into it this time."
"No, no. Sarah left a message for you. Said you're her only hope."
"Oh right. She's being kept at the Large Mart downtown."
"Really? Wait. Why?"
"You got me, Bro. But we're going to go over there and sneak in and get her? I've got the uniforms right here." He grabbed one of the boxes, and Chuck looked inside.
"Wait, since when do Large Mart employees need armor and helmets?"
"It's the day after Christmas, Man," Morgan explained with exaggerated patience. "We definitely need the armor and helmets." Behind him, Casey growled in agreement.
It turned out that Morgan was right. The Large Mart was a zoo. Chuck had to elbow several people in order to keep up with Devon, Morgan and Lester. Eventually, a woman grabbed Chuck on the shoulder.
"Excuse me, could you tell me if you have the IG-88 blender in stock?"
"What, er…" Finally, Devon walked back and came to Chuck's rescue.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am. These are not the salespeople you're looking for."
"Oh," the woman said disappointedly and turned around.
As they made their way through the crowd, Chuck turned to Morgan. "So where's Anna?"
"Ah, she didn't want any part of my electronics smuggling biz." He shrugged. "It was inevitable, anyway. I was always meant to fly solo."
Finally, they made it to the back. Devon fished out a flashlight and turned it on.
"Uh, Devon, why is your flashlight blue?"
"Wait, you haven't seen these, Chuckster? They're the top of the line. Much more elegant than those clumsy ones you usually use."
They followed Devon until they came upon a closet door. Chuck tugged on the handle, and was surprised to find that the door was unlocked.
Inside, Sarah was seated on a bench, wearing the Halloween costume she had bought two Halloweens ago. "Isn't it a little early for that?" Chuck asked, trying not to stare too much.
Sarah shrugged. "Laundry day." Then she looked around, and sighed in relief. "Thank god you found me! You're my hero!" She got up, and proceeded to kiss Morgan on the lips.
"Whoa, whoa, what about me?" Chuck protested.
"You? Ewww, you're my brother, remember? I'm not kissing you!" Sarah explained, and then returned to making out with Morgan.
"Nooo!!!"
Chuck burst up, and took a moment to orient himself to his surroundings. Finally, he recognized the guest bedroom of his apartment. A moment later, the door opened. "Chuck!" Sarah exclaimed.
Chuck tried to ignore the small t-shirt and shorts she was wearing. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"Never mind that. You had another dream, didn't you?"
Chuck sighed, and nodded.
"Ok." Sarah sat down on the bed. "This has gone on for long enough. You've had one of these dreams for every night this week."
"Well, what can we do?"
"I told Beckman." Sarah said.
"Wait, you did?" Chuck wasn't sure that was a good idea. The General had been less than patient with Chuck since he had uploaded the new Intersect into his head. She had questioned Chuck's motivation behind it, and it had been a struggle for Sarah to explain to her that Ellie and Awesome's wedding meant that Chuck and Sarah's cover depended on them now sharing an apartment.
"It's ok, Chuck. She told me that the team behind the new intersect included a psychiatrist. It sounds like he could help you."
"You think I'm nuts?"
"No, Chuck, it's not that. But you have to admit, your brain is a bit, unusual, these days. It could probably use the opinion of an expert."
"So Doc, what do you think?" Chuck asked Dr. Farrow.
"Man, that is messed up!" the Doctor replied.
Chuck sighed. Dr. Farrow wasn't what he had expected. He wasn't sure if he was expecting somebody with a German accent and a pipe, but Dr. Farrow barely looked like he'd graduated from high school.
The ride over to the meeting had been bad enough. Casey had spent the entire time making snide nutjob and fruitcake jokes. Chuck wished he could go back to just growling.
"I'm just messing with you!" Dr. Farrow slapped Chuck on the shoulder. "No, I expected something like this to happen. When something like the Intersect interacts with a person's brain, there can be some unusual side effects. Dreams are just one example.
"So, this is normal?"
"Well those are some pretty weird dreams. I really want to follow up with this lusting after your sister thing.
I don't lust after…"
"It's not matter," the doctor brushed him aside. "Now, tell me, I understand you attended Comic-con recently?"
"Yeah, a couple of weeks ago. Why?"
"Well, judging by your dream, I'd say that may have something to do with it. You may be especially suggestive to certain types of popular culture."
"So, what do I do?"
"Well, I'd suggest laying off of movies, television, and video games for a bit. That should at least lessen the impact of your dreams. In time, I'm sure they'll go away."
Chuck nodded, then looked up. "What am I supposed to do then, without any of that?"
Dr. Farrow shrugged. "Not my department."
As Chuck left the room, and walked over to Sarah, and alarming thought hit him. What exactly were the two of them supposed to do without any movies or TV to distract them?
Chuck gulped.
Alright, I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It might be a full-on story, or just might be a few inter-connected scenes, serving no purpose other than entertaining myself. What do you think this story's fate is? Review and comment, por favor!