If I owned Yu-Gi-Oh, I would be rich enough to publish this instead of posting this own a website, don't you think?
Summary: After being rejected by Jou, Mai goes to Varon in hopes that he would make everything seem all right. But she never pictured how wrong she would be.
Raining on my Parade
Written on August 3, 2005
Finished on August 4, 2005
"I'm sorry Mai, I really am."
Pause.
"I don't like you in that way."
Rain started to fall, just like it had threatened to earlier that day, but somehow, Mai did not notice. She didn't notice it because she couldn't feel it. She couldn't feel the cold, wet drops hit her face and her bare shoulders; she couldn't feel the wet tank top and jeans clinging to her skin; she couldn't even feel Jou's brown eyed stare staring, scared to death about what she was going to say.
No, she didn't feel anything at all. She felt rather numb. Unfeeling. Mai tried to nod her head and say, "I understand," but the words wouldn't come out. She couldn't spit the words out. Her mouth was open yet she couldn't say it. She just couldn't say it.
Instead, the words that came out of her mouth were, "Why? After all that happened in Duelist Kingdom? An-and Battle City? The time you risked your life to save mine against Marik? I thought that meant... And what about..."
Her words trailed off as Jou smiled, which broke Mai's heart even more. He reached out and cupped her face and Mai felt as if he was being kind and trying to make her feel better about being rejected.
Wrong. She felt worse. She didn't want his pity. She didn't want him to feel sorry for her.
Yet, looking into Jou's eyes, she almost felt her heart breaking again. Knowing that she wanted to stay in his gaze forever, knowing that she wanted him to want her like he did before...
But he didn't.
"I understand," Mai whispered.
Then she ran.
"Mai? Are you up yet?"
Mai's eyelids fluttered open and she saw Varon hovering over here. She sat up and took the cup that he offered her, smiling—or at least forcing herself to smile—weakly. "Thanks," she mumbled, moving to make room for him on the couch.
Varon sat down and watched as she drank her tea. After the run in with Jou, she did what she knew she had to do: Go to Varon. Varon was the only person who could possibly understand what Mai was going through and the only one who would possibly care as much as she thought Jou did. Clearly, she was wrong, but nevertheless, she was glad that Varon was home that night instead of bar hopping with Amelda.
"Thanks for having me," Mai said softly, putting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes. "I'm really glad to have someone like you."
Varon put his arm around her and kissed her on the head. "I'm here for you Mai. Always. You know that," he whispered in her ear, bringing her closer to him. "I would do anything for you."
Mai looked up and stared into his baby blue eyes with her grateful and appreciative violet ones. She saw the reassuring smile and the loving look in his eyes that she felt her spirits lift up higher than it had been in days.
"Come on," Varon said, helping her up and getting her off the couch. "Wash your pretty face and let's go out to eat. My treat."
The restaurant was quiet and not crowded, just the way Mai preferred it to be. Although she would much rather be at Varon's house, she knew that it was probably best to be out in the open, trying to be her old self again. She survived without Jou once, now she was going to do it again.
Varon did most of the talking for that, Mai was glad. She half listened to Varon, but mostly, she was wondering what Jou was doing and whether or not he was thinking about her. She hoped he was; she hoped that Jou was regretting his decision and would come running in, begging for forgiveness any second. She hoped that Jou would change his mind and realize that there was a chance for the both of them and she wished that Jou would just feel the same way.
"Mai?"
Mai blinked and turned her attention back to Varon, who was staring at her with a look that she had never seen before. It was serious, but she couldn't tell what it meant. "Yeah?"
Varon took a sip from his coffee cup before speaking. "You were thinking about Jou weren't you?" he asked, sounding as if he already knew the answer even if Mai wouldn't answer him.
Mai nodded. "I'm so sorry, Varon, but I can't stop," she confessed, a tear trickling down her cheek. "He's the only person I've ever loved and cared about and it hurts me more than anything to know that he doesn't feel the same way."
Varon reached over and wiped the tear away with his finger, giving her what seemed to be a sad smile. His expression lost the happy shine that he had earlier before the subject of Jou was started up again and his smile seemed somewhat wistful.
"I don't know what I would have done without you," Mai revealed, putting her hand on top of his. "I would have been a total mess, not knowing where to go and what to do. I'm glad I have you. You know what you are to me?"
"What?"
"You're like my older brother... helping me out when I need it, always there for me, and always knowing the right words to say... am I a little sister to you, Varon? Am I? Is that why you're always there for me? Is that why you risked your neck to save me from Dartz? That must be it, right? No friend would have gone to such measures to save me."
Varon's look was unexplainable. He lost his smile completely and he didn't even say anything. He just nodded slowly and moved his hand back, taking his napkin and wiping his mouth.
Mai, who was oblivious to Varon's change of expression, murmered, "I just wish he would love me back," staring pathetically at Varon as though he could make that happen. "I just want him, only him. Nothing else matters to me."
Varon stared at her long and hard before saying anything. "Nothing else matters," he repeated, and he signaled the waiter for the check and didn't say anything else for the rest of the day, even when they arrived back at the house.
Later that night, around three in the morning, Mai was in the kitchen fixing something to drink and stirring it aimlessly when Varon walked in in his boxers and nothing else. He stopped automatically, noticing that he was not the only one there.
"I didn't think you would be up," he remarked embarrassedly. "I could put on a shirt if you want."
"It's fine." Pause. "What are you doing up so late?"
"Couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about the past few days, with you living her for a while and the situation with Jounouchi."
"Oh."
"Yeah." Varon turned away from Mai's blank gaze and sighed. "Do you want to know why I've been thinking about? The last few days ever since you came to my house, soaked the bone from the rain? Why I keep thinking about how much you care for Jou?"
Without waiting for a response, he continued on, his voice getting louder and his tone getting harsher and bitterer.
"Because I feel like such a fool. Before you came to my house and told me all about Jou, I thought that it was me that you loved, not someone like Jou. I keep wondering about all the signs and thinking, 'She must feel the same way'. Then you came barging in, telling me this and that, diminishing my hopes to hardly anything. And then to make it much worse, you think of me as your big brother. A big brother, Mai? Do you have any idea what kind of an insult that was to me? You think I think of you as my little sister? No, much more than that." Varon turned back to face her, staring straight at her eyes. "I know it must have hurt while facing Jou and getting rejected," he said, softening and his eyes losing the anger, "but it hurt so much more to be hearing about it over and over and then having you so close by just to know that you're not mine. I love you Mai, more than Jou ever could."
Varon gave Mai one last longing look before Mai rushed to the door and outside. This time, Varon didn't follow her and didn't feel like comforting her. He just sat down on one of the kitchen stools and felt his heart grow more and more disappointed than it already was.
Even though it was late, Mai ran all the way to Jou's house, sobbing all the way. She didn't know why she came back to Jou's place when she could have easily went to Anzu's place instead, but she somehow felt safer there. When Jou answered the door, the look of surprise couldn't even register to Jou because Mai leaped into his arms, crying all over his T-shirt, not being able to say a word.
Jou took Mai in, rubbing her back and whispering reassuring words, but it didn't help much. She still didn't know what hurt more: Having Jou break her heart or having Varon tell her that he loved her.
Either way, it upset her. She couldn't explain why it hurt so much for Varon to love her. Maybe it was knowing that Varon could no longer be her safety place as he once was or maybe coming the conclusion that Varon—the only other person she would give her life up for—was expecting her to love him.
That night, for the first time in days, she didn't think about Jou. She thought about Varon instead.
When Mai came back to Varon's house to get her things, she saw Varon's luggage in the living room and baggage. Just as Mai was going to go upstairs and ask what was going on, she saw Varon coming down the stairs, with a backpack and a sweater.
He glanced briefly at her and continued to move his things. It was a long time before anybody spoke, but Mai finally found the courage to ask quietly, "Where are you going?"
"I don't know," Varon answered in a neutral voice, conveying no emotions or hints as to what he was feeling that moment. He zipped up his bag and said, "But it's about time ya think? To leave? I've been in this little town for a bit too long."
Not surprising anyone, least of all herself, Mai felt her eyes water watching Varon pack up his things. "Wh-why? Why are you leaving after..."
ZIPPP! "It's because of that I'm leaving, Mai. I only stayed here for you because I felt that you still needed me around, close by. But now I see that you no longer need me, so it's best to be going. I have a ticket to fly out of here in two hours."
"I'm sorry," Mai told him, barely above a whisper. Please don't go, Varon, I still need you here.
Say you won't go.
Varon stopped packing for a second and looked up long enough for Mai to see him and say simply—
"I'm sorry too."
-OWARI-
I've always liked Mai and Varon together and I've always liked Varon. (Him and his great accent of course) I always thought that she and Varon were meant to be NOT Mai and Jou because Jou was meant to be with Seto, no matter how many "hints" there were in the series. I see it more as friendship anyway.
Depressing, I know, but I've wanted to do a story in this pairing for a while now, and here it is. Hope you guys liked it and DO NOT, (I repeat, do not) review just to tell me, "Oh, Joey and Mai were to be together!" It's my story and it said so in my summary. If you didn't like the pairing, you shouldn't have read it right? So yeah. I will be deeply annoyed if I get reviews like that, so really, please don't.
Any other comments are appreciated. Thanks guys.
-lilrubydevil