This is a songfic about Sora, obviously. Since I hate when people use songs for songfics that don't relate to the characters, I took one of the very few songs that HAS to relate to Sora -- namely, her image song, Ashita wa Motto. This fic takes place in the Dark Masters arc, I'm placing it right before they destroy Machinedramon, there seemed like there was a gap between Puppetmon and Machinedramon. I guess you can say this could be romance; I, personally, would not, but you romance fiends can use this if you want for fodder (doubt ya will...). The song's in Japanese and in English, pretty obvious which is which.
Tomorrow I'll Be
by Rb
Tai shakes me gently. I mumble something unintelligible as I wake up.
"C'mon, Sora, it's your turn at watch." I can see the whites of his eyes and the flash of his teeth when he talks, white against darkness.
"Did you see anything?" I ask, arrested by his intensity.
"No, but we should still be careful. There's two more Dark Masters to defeat. We've got to be on our toes."
I nod understanding and climb carefully up from my cramped position on the cave floor, in front of T.K. and Kari, next to Biyomon. Izzy's a few feet ahead of me, curled into a ball next to Tentomon. I'm careful not to disturb anyone. I can't disturb anyone. I make my way to right in front of the cave, where a small fire is burning. Tai collapses behind me, he's so tired from taking the first watch. Koromon snoozes next to him
Yume mita jibun totemo tookute
That time when I had a dream seems so far away
I remember a conversation I've had with Tai, in front of a fire much like this one.
"It makes us seem so small and insignificant," I said, "like nothing we do really matters."
Tai answered, "of course it matters. We can't take the chance that it doesn't."
If that's true, then why do I mean so little?
Hito shirezu nakitai
I feel like crying more than anyone knows
Does anyone else on the team ever feel as insignificant as I am? I feel so useless. I'm not strong enough to go on my own, like Matt, or to demand personal space, like Mimi.
Bukiyou de kimochi ienakattari
Too clumsy to convey my feelings
Tsuyogatte misetari
I try to pretend to be strong
I am useless, aren't I? People may think I'm strong, but I'm too weak, too undecided in myself to decide who I am. All I do is support the others, help them out, I say...am I really helping?
I normally think I am, but in the darkness of the night, all my fears and uncertainties creep out and attack me. Maybe I just wish it.
Demo kono yo ni hitori nara
But if I'm all alone in this world
Namida ga kieru kawari ni ai mo kieru
And love disappears instead of tears
I never tell anyone about my fears. I don't want anyone to think less of me. I want to pretend I'm strong, so no one will have to worry about me.
Utsumukanaide habatakou
I won't hang my head, I'll fly away
Ashita wa motto chikaku naru daita yume ni
Tomorrow I'll be closer to that dream I held
I grip my crest tight in my hand. I can't give up. I'll never give up. I have to stay strong...don't I? Or else, everything I've done and everyone I've tried to help...they're all useless!
Tabi wa nagakute toki ni tsurakute
The journey is long and sometimes painful
Hito wa tada chiisai
People are just so small
I laugh, I make comments, but in the end, does anyone know my inner self? Do people trust in me, believe in me? I try to believe in others, but...is it enough?
Yowasa ga fui ni mienaku suru no
My weakness suddenly makes me unable to see
Koko ni iru imi sae
Even the meaning of my being here
How am I important to the other children? Aren't I just a nuisance, useless to them? I'm not strong like Matt or brave like Tai or smart like Izzy, and my crest of Love is surely the weakest out of all of the crests.
Demo kokoro wo sumashitara
But if I clear my heart
Dokoka de kitto sosogitai ai ni deau
Someday I'll surely find a love I want to fill it with
But if I believe that, won't my crest become weaker? I have to believe in myself. I have to believe I can make a difference. Because if I don't...then I simply can't.
Akiramenaide habatakou
I won't give up, I'll fly away
Ashita wa motto tsuyoku naru dareka no tame
Tomorrow I'll get stronger for someone's sake
Only by belief can I change myself for the better. I'll be strong...so the others will be able to count on me. I have to be.
Demo kono yo ni hitori nara
But if I'm all alone in this world
No matter how little I feel I can depend on myself...
Namida ga kieru kawari ni ai mo kieru
And love disappears instead of tears
...I have to let the others count on me.
Utsumukanaide habatakou
I won't hang my head, I'll fly away
Ashita wa motto chikaku naru daita yume ni
Tomorrow I'll be closer to that dream I held
I'll be strong. I have to be. I have to be.
I will be.
I watch the flickering beauty of the flames dreamily for a few more minutes before realizing that my watch is over. I jerk up, but Izzy is already standing on the edge of the cave. He's mostly in shadow, but I can feel his eyes on me.
"I'm so sorry, Izzy, I must have zoned out," I apologize.
"It's okay, Sora." He doesn't enter the small circle of firelight, and I make no move to leave it. There's a bit of a pause, as we both gaze upwards, at our home world, stuck in the sky. I wonder if our families are still there, watching for us. My mom...I feel so terrible for making her wait.
I'm sorry, Mom. I'm not strong enough yet to come home. I will be, though...someday.
I get up and stretch a bit. I have to sleep.
"Sora." Izzy's voice stops me cold.
"Yes?"
He seems...embarrassed? Is that even an emotion that Izzy can feel? "Look, Sora...just because you and I don't have the strongest digimon, and we aren't as strong as the others...doesn't mean that we aren't important. We're still a part of the team. We're still strong people by ourselves, and we're strongest when we work together."
"Yeah." I think about his words for a moment. "Yeah!"
Izzy walks into the firelight for a moment. He's got an embarrassed smile on his face. We stare at each other, from opposite sides of the fire. I have the strangest urge to walk over to him and hug him, but I don't.
All I know is that...for a brief, fleeting moment, I had proof that I'm not alone. And I think I'll keep that feeling for the rest of my life.