Disclaimer: What? (lawyers wait expectantly for Mickis to start talking) You want me to say it, don't you? (sighs) Fine… I don't own the Ninja Turtles. There! Ya happy now? (group of suit wearing lawyers perkily prances away, holding hands with each other)
A/N: Sorry, I've been absent again. (sheepish smile) My excuses must've gotten pretty boring by now. It's just… I've recently become a member at Gaiaonline, so most of my time has been spent there. Excellent website, BTW. You should really check it out. The place could use a few more TMNT fans. Anyway, I'm back with a one-shot (and a story still in the planning stage, if anyone's interesting in beta reading. Hint, hint.) But, to focus on the project at hand, this one shot… (trails off trying to come up with anything good to say about it) Well, let's just say this is something most of us should relate to, even if you have siblings or not. Enjoy! And please do leave your thoughts before you abandon me entirely. Thanks!
PICK UP!
by
Mickis
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Rating: K+
Summary: Laziness has a way of coming up with all kinds of creative excuses, especially when in company of siblings. (One-shot)
It was a typical Sunday afternoon, clouded with a thick fog of dullness. Even in the deepest tunnels of New York City's sewers, where a long forgotten subway station was inhabited by a bunch of walking, talking turtles, and their tutor rat (a.k.a. father figure), boredom seemed to rule their existence. The fact that they were all ninja warriors, trained in the ways if swift killing ever since being old enough to pick up a weapon, did nothing to jolt their imagination in this particular situation. They had all stared into the gleaming eyes of evil on more than one occasion, yet never before had they encountered an enemy so indestructible.
The logic thought had been to turn to the faithful old TV of the household, but the plan had backfired on them once it turned out there wasn't anything worth watching. Raphael, the quick thief of the remote, had been channel surfing bravely for a good half-hour, until he was forced to face the horrible truth that there wasn't anything to watch.
He'd ultimately settled for an old World War II movie, and this is where our courageous heroes could be found at the moment, slowly wasting away in front of the television set.
The movie was just as flat as everything else that day; it practically sucked the room dry on life and creativity, which there wasn't much around to begin with, leaving the four teenagers staring at the TV screen like a huddled group of mindless zombies. Yet, they were much too bored to look away. It was quite a dilemma.
Suddenly, unexpectedly, the phone started ringing from inside the kitchen sub car, where it hung mockingly on the wall, far away from anyone's grasp.
After a few signals of unendurable disturbance, it became quite obvious that none of the boys had scheduled any plans for getting off their lazy butts in the nearest future. Finally, the blue masked turtle got sick of the noise and tore his eyes from the incredibly slow movie.
"Isn't anyone gonna pick that up?" he wondered, waiting for a reaction from any of his three younger brothers, watching them from the chair he occupied.
"Not me," Mike quickly interjected where he sat on the right end of the sofa, lying with his shell squashed into the cushions of the old, brown couch. "I went last time."
"You keep track?" Raphael asked, turning to look at the sapless turtle to his right.
Michelangelo looked up at his brother with irritation twisting his features. "Well, it's not like I keep a journal or anything. It was just a few hours ago. You answer."
Raph unaffectedly turned back to the TV, mumbling his reply to his brother, "Phones are against my religion."
Lured in by the odd statement, Donatello turned to look at his red masked brother where he sat to his right. "What religion?" he asked skeptically, quite curious about what answer his brother might come up with.
"I juz told ya," Raph said, turning to glare at the turtle who usually feared confrontations, aloofly turning back to stare at the TV. "My religion."
"Right…" Don mumbled, as if giving himself a mental kick for even asking in the first place. "And what exactly does that involve?"
"Not answerin' phones," Raph replied the obvious, never breaking his focus on the movie.
"That's the best excuse you can come up with?" Donatello asked. "C'mon, Raph. Just answer before they hang up."
"Big deal," Raph shrugged. "So let the machine get it."
"You broke the machine."
"When?" Raph wondered, turning to look at his purple masked brother with a genuinely confused expression.
"When it wouldn't play you that message Casey left you," Donnie answered, still rather annoyed by the so-called 'accident.'
"What?" Raphael exclaimed in surprise. "That was like a week ago. I can't believe ya haven't fixed it yet."
Donnie noticeably started seething, the usually invisible vein on his forehead growing quite visible.
"Why not just answer it yourself, Don?" Leo innocently put in, staring at him from the chair he sat in.
"It's not for me," Donatello answered, suppressing his anger while talking to his big brother.
"How do you know?" Leonardo wondered.
"'Cause I'm not expecting any calls."
"Yeah, but you never know when someone might decide to call you," Leo smartly insisted.
"It's not for me!" Donnie outburst, condemning the room to awkward silence. The otherwise calm brother turned back to watching the movie, his siblings still staring at him in mute shock. "Besides," Don later added, much calmer than before. "Why don't you pick it up if it's such an important call?"
Mike and Raph quickly turned to look at the Fearless leader, curiously waiting for his response.
"Just forget it," Leo said, ignoring the stares he got from his younger siblings and turning back to face the television. "They'll probably hang up any second now, anyway."
Each turtle seemed to agree on this theory, as all four of them turned back to watching the movie. Leo's words had made a lot of sense. The caller would get tired of waiting. No person in their right state of mind would still remain on the other end.
Oddly, the phone didn't stop ringing - and this affected some more than it did others.
"All right!" Leo exclaimed, throwing his arms above his head. "Someone just answer the goddamn phone!"
"Leo!" Mikey gasped in shock, a hand put to his chest in disbelief of what had just happened. "You swore. "
"Mike, answer the phone," Leonardo suddenly decided, turning to look at the orange masked turtle with a stern expression.
"What?" Mike exclaimed in surprise. "Why me?" he asked, pitifully pointing to himself with his right palm.
"Because you're the closest," Leo quickly rationalized, using one of the most popular tricks in the Lazy-butt's Handbook.
"But I went last time," Mike sadly reminded his brothers.
Leonardo rolled his eyes. "You know, that's getting really old. How long are you gonna use that excuse?"
"Till someone else picks up the phone."
This was where Raphael decided to try out a different approach with his little brother. "C'mon, Mikey," he said, turning to look at the teenager with a disgustingly nice expression, one that made the youngest turtle fear foul play was in the making. "What if it's one of those contests where you win like a million bucks, juz for pickin' it up?"
"Yeah right!" Michelangelo snorted in apparent disbelief. "Fat chance, Raph. They don't even have our number."
"Sure they do," the red masked turtle cheerfully insisted. "Right, Donnie?" he turned to the residential brain for backup.
Donatello looked away from the TV, smiling briefly at his younger brother. "Sure."
"Really?" Mike asked, quite intrigued by this new information.
"Yeah," Raph nodded smilingly, nudging his baby brother in his side. "Hurry before they hang up!"
Mikey seemed to consider this, his stance and facial expression turning into something that looked rather foreign on him: the act of thinking.
"One million dollars, Mikey" Leonardo sneakily reminded him. "That's a lot of money."
This seemed to work as the final push, as the orange masked turtle shot up from the couch and leaped over the armrest, running down the platform towards the kitchen sub car. Once he was gone from sight, Raph quickly turned to Don, his once pleasant smile perished.
"Our number ain't listed, is it?" he asked, just to be sure.
"Not a chance," Donatello replied with an evil chuckle.
Then, while Raph's characteristic smirk grew larger on his face, the ringing suddenly stopped. The three remaining brothers turned around at the sound of shuffling feet. Michelangelo dramatically dragged his feet after him as he made his way to the living room area, a look of exaggerated disappointment drooping his otherwise sparkling features.
"Who was it?" Leonardo casually asked.
"They hung up," Mike revealed in irritation, causing Raphael to break out into sadistic fits of laugher. Mike tiredly climbed over the back of the couch and slumped down in his seat with his arms crossed over his chest, painting the perfect picture of a spoiled brat.
"If it's any consolation," Donnie kindly put in, where he sat beside the low-spirited turtle, "you didn't lose a million dollars."
"How do you know?" Mikey asked, looking up at his brother in childlike curiosity.
"Because our number isn't listed," Don revealed.
"What?" Mike exclaimed in disappointment. "How do you know that?"
"I wired the phone, remember?"
"Yeah, but still," Michelangelo insisted. "You can't be sure we're not in some kind of computer system. I saw this thing on the Discovery Channel about how the Government keeps track on all kinds of things."
"Yeah, well not this, they don't," Donatello said confidently.
"You can't know for sure," Mikey shook his head in disagreement, quite influenced by that documentary.
"Yes, I can," Don answered. "I didn't plug our phone to that connection."
"Then how come it works?" Mikey wondered.
"You wouldn't understand even if I told you, so let's just drop it," Donnie advised, turning back to watching the movie.
Michelangelo thought about this for a moment. "Yeah, that's true," he finally decided, joining his brothers in watching the movie. It didn't take them very long to get settled in their old bored-to-death atmosphere, watching the ever so boring World War II movie.
A few, brief moments later, the phone started ringing again.
Leonardo let out a frustrated groan in the all-too-familiar noise that came screaming out the open kitchen carriage.
"I went last time!" Mikey quickly pointed out.
"Yeah, but you're the closest," Raphael argued.