BURNING MEMORIES
A Saw Fan-Fiction by: Liquatic
It was the first week of January. My one day off work. A day where cases meant nothing, where murderers could do as they wished, thieves could continue to steal, and criminals could run free. It wasn't my day to deal with them. Today, I was but a citizen, roaming the streets in search of something more.
It was cold, calm, and quiet. Something I'd never felt in this city until now. I was scared, but at the same time, intrigued. As I walked around, I couldn't help shake the feeling that I was being followed, though every time I turned around, there was no one there.
I walked through the park, it never looked so dead inside. I felt a bit of myself reflected amongst its snow covered trees and barely visible sidewalks. The world just didn't feel the same to me anymore. There was no good to be found anywhere. It was just...There.
I took the long walk to my apartment. As I walked inside, I could hear the voices simply fading as memories of my past. The kids running down the stairs, happily expecting my arrival. My wife in the kitchen, smiling back at me as she made my favorite meal, refusing to let me take control of the stove no matter how many times I demanded it. It was all too wonderful. What remains now, is but a memory of their presence.
The hallways felt colder than usual, I'd never taken the time to stand back and just gaze down it's bright interior. Living each day of my life in the living room, with memories of my family all around. I refused to believe they were gone, and thus I would stay in this room each night, where all the beautiful memories would fill my dreams.
As I began to lie down on the couch, I heard a noise upstairs. I jumped up with a fright. I knew I was the only one here. I pulled out my gun as I walked up the stairs. Taking each cold step slowly at a time. My fears having to be conquered as I came closer to the rooms I so refused to come into. I nervously turned the corner into my daughter's room, my fear being the room itself, what it symbolized...Emptiness. Memories of the past cut deep, it was only then I realized I had exposed myself. Just as I turned around, I felt a sharp pain in my neck, everything began to fade away as I fell against the cold wood floor. I watched helplessly as someone took a step over my body...Then it all went black.
I awoke in a strange room, still halfway in a confused state. It was then that I noticed a TV, an old one at that. It was the only thing I could make out in the room. To my surprise, the very thought of it seemed to mysteriously turn it on. It began playing a message...
"Hello Detective, You spend your days lingering over your past. You mock the very fabric of the life given in front of you, in favor of the past that has long since been taken away. You feel at fault, that somehow the events of the past are yours to blame. Today you are given a choice. The device you are strapped into is set on a timer. You will have but 60 seconds. There is a button in front of you that once pressed, will ignite a flamethrower aimed at your body. If you choose not to press this button, you will instead be doused with liquid nitrogen until you are frozen in the chair you sit in. Will you burn away the past that so binds you and be free to live the life that today has chosen? Or will you forever be frozen, a victim of the past forever left to rot in a cold harsh state? Live or die Detective....Make your choice."
It was then I stood in fear. For the very first time in my life, I knew not what to do. I could only imagine my end, swiftly, at the hands of this device. I stared at the clock, time never seemed more slower than it did this very second. I weighed out my options, this was it...This was my moment to either live again, or die a failure. I couldn't let myself be a failure. I'd failed far too many times, today would not be that day.
I hesitantly pressed the button, time slowed down even more. I felt the flames mash against my body, slowly peeling away the very fabric of myself. Amongst the screams and burning flesh, I could faintly see my wife staring back at me, that beautiful smile she always had, that would always assure me everything would be ok. I envisioned my children, running in the park...Being just as uncontrollable as they always had been, but this time...this second, it didn't bother me. What felt like an eternity lasted but a minute. The timer stopped and I fell to the ground as the straps let me loose.
In my pain, I slowly looked up to see a figure coming closer to me. A toy, a puppet, a doll. As he rolled up to me, nothing made sense, though I felt a sense of assurance in his voice. "Some people are so ungrateful to be alive....But not you, not anymore". But how much truth was behind his words?
What have I been fighting for all of this time? To live a life of loneliness? Regret? Guilt? Did I really deserve a second chance, the gift of a new life? The world was quickly going downhill and all the while I was refreshed, given a new outlook on life. Are not those before me much more deserving of a renewed life? Is my past really to be forgotten if you realize truth behind it that others fail to see?
I remember a night, much like any other night. I remember the screams, the helplessness, and all the while I couldn't move. All I could do was stand there in shock. I could have been the hero, yet I instead chose the way of the coward. How deserving am I of this life, why was I given a second chance? Why did you help me?!
Today, I write this message to whomever may find this. He helped me, in as many ways as a person could possibly help someone. I can say that with all honesty. I declare today that I was given a message, a new chance at life. But today I say to you...that I don't deserve it.
God forgive me for my next move...I finally feel free.