First Justice/Fenris fanfic.
Sorry that my English so poor _ .
You Gone Too Soon
"No, I won't fight to save these mages….. Not for you, not for anyone." Protested the white-haired-elf after he heard Hawke chose to side with the mages instead of Templars.
"You are a fool, Champion," said the Knight Commander, Meredith. "Kill them all! I will rouse the rest of the Order!"
"Go! Get to the Gallows before it's too late!" Orsino told the mages and they immediately followed what he said.
Fenris stepped back from where he was standing behind Hawke, his eyes were set on the troublesome mage who created this madness, Anders, and the mage's eyes also met his. They said nothing as Fenris backing away, and finally ran off the place.
He, Fenris, was sure that Hawke's party, mages and Templars were battling while he was running, following where Meredith and her followers headed to right now. He was off quite far from the place but still the battle's noises can be heard a bit.
Suddenly, he stopped at his tract as the pain from his rib shot up. He groaned and slowly brought himself against the nearby wall. There was blood seeping from the elf's flank, from the unhealed wound he got from the previously fought.
This is bad, Thought the elf.
With a sighed, Fenris sat down, leaning his back against the wall, before slowly took of his chest armor and undid buttons of his top to see the wound. The wound was badly and bloody. He tore a one fine piece from his legging and wrapped around the wound just for temporary. After that, he sat still, resting a bit, gaining energy for the next battle which would start very soon at the Gallows.
While sitting, the elf thought back about the day in the past. That day, at Darktown...
Moans and cries echoed in a night time at clinic of Darktown. Patients were already gone back to their homes, except only one, who paid a visit at this hour.
The white haired elf groaned as a mage, 'healer', pounding into him roughly and painfully, and all he could do is submitted.
This all began from that day, the day that Fenris had dragged himself with his injured legs to the clinic to see Anders and asked him for treatment just because Hawke forced him to do that. The mage agreed to heal his legs but during the treatment, the elf shifting around and tried not to let the mage make contacts with his lyrium and that annoyed the mage pretty much. After the treatment, they chatted but ended up nagging each other which Fenris was brooding about how bad magic was, Anders was angry and turned. Finally, this leaded them to a big quarrel which Anders, or Justice, pinned the elf down with magic and forced himself on him.
After the torture was over and he was able to moved, Fenris gathered himself and quickly left the clinic, then he never shown up for the following day neither in Hawke's party nor the Hanged Man. Hawke paid him a visit at his mansion but the elf refused to let him in by saying that he was fine and wanted to be alone for a while.
Fenris knew that he was supposed to hate or even killed the mage for what he did to him, but worst thing was that he liked the mage's touch. Well, to make it clearer, he liked Justice's touch. Later at nights, he often visited Andres, Justice, at the clinic in Darktown and kept doing that since then.
Fenris chuckled at the flashback, thought that it all stupid.
"Leaving so soon?" asked Justice, sitting on the bed as he watched the elf dressing after their loved making.
"There is no other reason I should stay here" replied Fenris as he finished dressing and bending down to picked his blade up.
The mage got up, walked behind the elf and wrapped his arms around a smaller figure. "You came here to see me, weren't you? Why not spend the night here today?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I….." the elf hesitated. But before he could reply anything, the blue lights faded away from the mage as he resumed back to his normal spirit, Andres.
"Oh, no, not again." Said Anders, released his hold on Fenris, one hand came up to his temper.
Fenris was silent, waiting for the mage to spoke first.
"Fenris…..I….I think you should….." Andres began but the elf cut him off.
"I'm leaving now," said the elf.
"Wait," Anders called and shot his hand out to grab Fenris's arm. Lyrium grew a bit but then faded away. "You don't need to come down here if you aren't injured, or need any treatments. It's not safe in Darktown at night and you knew it."
Fenris glanced at the other, "I did not come here to see you, mage. I came to see him."
"I knew," Anders's hand tighten, "but Justice also not a type of person…..er…spirit you should mess with sometimes and I can't control him all the times."
"I don't care."
"But, but he raped you!"
Fenris jerked his arm away from the mage's grip, "don't speak of it. It isn't your concern."
"Fenris….."
"We're done for today, mage. Good night." With that, Fenris headed to the door and walked out of the clinic.
Fenris sighed.
This is stupid.
I am stupid.
He felt like a fool that he denied his feeling toward both Justice and the mage and never spoke out. Instead, he tried to act as usual as he could when he was around the mage during in Hawke's party.
Blood still seeping through his temporary gauze around the wound, Fenris got up, picking up his blade, and started walking back to the direction he ran off before.
Alone, Fenris stood still, looking at corpses on the floor in front of him. Hawke's party and the other had left the place a while ago, leaving these dead bodies behind. There, the elf spotted one body lying face down on the floor, and he quickly ran to it. It was Anders's. He dropped down onto his knees by the mage's side.
No.
No way.
This is not true.
"Mage," he called, "get up."
No responded.
"Get up." The elf started shaking the body slightly and he saw a knife stuck deep in the mage's bloody back. He noticed that it was Hawke's knife and he was shock, because he didn't expect Hawke to kill the mage.
"….Anders."
When there was no respond from the body before him, his eyes began watering.
Please tell me this is a lie.
I am a fool.
Slowly, he took a lifeless body into his arms, pulling the knife off of the corpse and hugged the corpse hard, then, he closed his eyes. He should not run off. He should instead stay because if he was here just now, this thing would not happen. He would surely not let anyone kill Anders or Justice. But now….
"….Andres…Justice," he sobbed, "anyone…."
Tears running down his cheeks as he tightening his embrace around the corpse, bending his neck down so his forehead touched Anders's, "don't you dare die on me."
I'm sorry that I didn't tell you my mind.
"You idiot, I…..lov…e..." words died on his lips. He knew it was too late to say even he realized that both the mage and Justice were already part of his life, but just didn't want to admit it and kept denying for so long.
He sat there for a short while, sobbing. He then laid the dead mage back down, wiped away tears and stood up.
If it's your wish to fight to protect mages, then I will carry on your wish since mine is already gone.
Fenris smiled bitterly. Ignoring his own injured, he looked at Anders's corpse one last time before turned back to it and started running, heading to whichever ship that broad to Gallows where Hawke's party, Orsino and Meredith were. He hoped he could reach there in time and fight alongside with Hawke to protect mages.
My wish is to see you live,
But now you're gone,
And I'm alone.
++ FIN ++