when darkness turns to light.
--
Sonny was walking past the Mackenzie Falls set when she heard some sounds that made her stop in her tracks.
It was—wait, was that someone sniffling? Her heart at once went out to them because Sonny couldn't bear to see people cry. That tugged at her heart-strings and made her want to give the person a big hug, regardless of whoever it was.
She turned around the corner, gravitating slowly towards the direction of the noise when she saw something that made her jaw drop.
There was Chad Dylan Cooper, sitting on big sound speaker, mopping at his red eyes. Chad was crying? Sonny knew she should walk away and obviously not intrude upon a moment that was decidedly private but she couldn't go away and leave someone when they were crying. Besides there was no one even to comfort him and everyone needed someone to comfort them didn't they? Even Chad Dyaln Cooper did.
She went near him, quietly as she could. "Chad," she began hesitantly, "what's wrong?"
Chad's head whipped up at the sound of her voice. His face was streaked with tears and his eyes were red and puffy.
"Go away Monroe, be sarcastic to me some other day," he snarled, hopping off the speaker to walk away.
"Chad wait, I just wanna know what's wrong," Sonny called out after him.
"Nothing," Chad spat back determined to get away.
"Come on Chad, you can tell me," Sonny said softly as she walked up to him.
"Yeah and after I do that, you'll go and blab to those losers about how hilarious I looked when I was crying. Just leave me be." Chad said angrily before trying to walk away.
"You know I wouldn't do that Chad," Sonny said, her voice quivering with hurt.
"Yeah, you wouldn't. I am sorry Sonny. I'm not in a very good mood right now." Chad said wearily, running his hands through his hair and making it stand on the end.
"Tell me what's wrong Chad, maybe I can help," Sonny said gently, drawing him to the side and sitting him down on the stairs and then sitting down next to him. Chad looked extremely skeptical but nonetheless he began speaking.
"I just spoke to my parents, who told me that my granddad died. They didn't even tell me he was ill and now because he's dead, I couldn't even say goodbye to him." Chad said breaking down anew. He wept into the heels of his hands, his shoulders shaking with each fresh wave of tears. At the sight of him in tears, Sonny could feel her own eyes well up with hot tears. She put an arm around his shoulders and let him lean into her.
"My granddad, Sonny. And they couldn't even bring themselves to tell me? I loved him so much Sonny and without him, I just don't know what to do." Chad said trying to wipe away his tears.
"Maybe they didn't want to tell you because they knew it would hurt you and make you worry unnecessarily," Sonny said hesitantly.
"I am seventeen Sonny, if I can fucking drive a car then I can sure as hell learn how to handle news like this." Chad said, sitting straight up and letting Sonny's hand drop from his shoulders.
"The worst part is Sonny, I didn't even get to say goodbye and I didn't even get to say I loved him," Chad said turning to Sonny with a tortured look on his face. His granddad had been his best friend, literally. He was the one to motivated Chad and he was Chad's biggest fan. Despite the fact that Chad had more work than he could handle at times, he always took time once a month to go back home and see his granddad and just spend time with him, doing ordinary stuff. His granddad was his hero, his idol and now he was gone. Who would he look up to now and who would assure him that no matter what, everything would be all right.
Suddenly, everything felt bleaker than usual. There was a big gaping wound in his heart.
His granddad was gone for good.
Sonny found Chad's hand resting on his thigh and she linked her fingers through it giving him a reassuring squeeze. "I am sure your Granddad knew you loved him."
"That he did, I made sure of it every single time I talked to him," Chad said blinking through his tears and giving Sonny a small smile for her show of support.
"He brought me my first beer, you know, when I was fourteen and underage. When I said Mom would kill me, he said that she wouldn't have to know. That was our thing. Whenever I went to meet him, he'd always buy me a beer and we'd sit at the backyard of his house and drink while watching the sun set." Chad said, chuckling as he remember the first time his granddad had snuck out of the house and brought him back a beer. He had been shit scared of course but he managed to drink it, all the while spurred on by the twinkle in his granddad's eyes. It was a fun thing tradition which he had quickly gotten used to. And the fact that it was their little secret made him love it and treasure it all the more. It would also explain why he picked up an affinity for Heineken beers only.
Sonny gazed at him with a small smile on her face. Seeing Chad being so human was new. But it also showed that he wasn't infallible and that under all the glitz and glamour, he was also just a teen trying to live with fame. It was at times like these that Sonny knew there was more to Chad than he ever let on. And in a way she felt privileged that she got to see what went on beyond the surface. She watched as his eyes misted over with memories of days gone by. He looked like a lost and wistful little boy, looking for something he was never sure he'd find again.
Chad suppressed an inward wave of grief that threatened to engulf him as more memories of traditions and occasions came flooding back. His granddad always let him do things a little earlier than he was supposed too. He had given Chad his first Playboy magazine when Chad was thirteen. Of course his mom had quickly confiscated it but Chad never forgot the first glimpse he got of scantily covered women. It had been heaven. And he had waxed eloquent to his granddad about it who had just chuckled out loud at his wonder about the female body.
His granddad had also taught him to drive his station wagon when he was fifteen. And when Chad had run into a stop sign, he didn't even blink an eye. He just waited till Chad reversed and made sure that Chad drove them back home. That's how Chad learned to drive. And to this day, whenever he went back home, he preferred driving the station wagon around despite the fact that he had a Porsche of his own.
But despite all these things, his granddad also helped him in many other ways. When Chad got his firs bad review for Mackenzie Falls, it was his granddad who asked him to take all of those criticisms in a positive light and use them to improve himself.
When Chad got turned down for the twentieth time in his quest for a role, it had been his granddad that encouraged him to keep on trying, telling him that failure was but a passing phase and that one day, his day in the sun would come. And of course, his day did come. No one had been happier than his granddad that day and when he hugged Chad tightly, it had been the one time where Chad had actually seen him cry.
His granddad had been such a big presence in his life. A figure bathed in golden light, whom Chad idolized and loved. Without him, he felt ever so lost and adrift.
"People come and people go. I'm not gonna say your granddad is in a better place or something cause I don't know how heaven is technically supposed to be. But what I want to say is that he lived his life Chad to the fullest. And when his time came, he went. But it won't change the fact that he loves you. He loved you then, he loves you now and he'll love you always. And from somewhere, he'll be watching, hoping that everything you face only makes you stronger. Most of all Chad, he'll always be there inside of you, in your heart and in your head. He'll never leave until you want him too." Sonny said earnestly, titling Chad's face towards her and looking him straight in the eyes.
"Thanks Sonny. I guess I just needed someone to reassure me that he hadn't all gone away. That he was still here inside of me and that he'd still love me." Chad said a tad wistfully. He missed his granddad no doubt but what he also worried about was that there would be no one who loved him unconditionally and unequivocally like his granddad did.
"Anytime Chad. I remember when my grandma died; all I wanted to know was whether she loved me and whether she missed me as much as I missed her." Sonny said, her eyes shining a bit. Her grandmother passed away a year ago, but sometimes just thinking about her made her eyes well up.
"I'm sure she loves you and misses you. And I'm pretty sure she's proud of you too. You are one of a kind Sonny Munroe." Chad said sincerely. The pain at the knowledge of his grandfather's dead hadn't completely gone away. But Sonny had at least eased it a bit. She made the grieving easier.
"So are you Chad," Sonny said with a soft light shining in her eyes, before she threw her arms around him in a tight hug. Chad was surprised at the hug but he hugged her back, relishing the feel of someone warm, holding him close to them. It was comforting, almost like allowing the other person to share your sorrow. It felt good.
"Now, how about we go get you a big banana split ice cream?" Sonny asked disentangling herself from the hug, standing up and pulling Chad up with her.
"I think I'll pass," Chad said a little colorlessly. Truthfully speaking, he wanted nothing more than to go home, throw on his oldest clothes and eat a whole lot of junk because he couldn't even attend the funeral due to contractual obligations.
"Come on, I'll buy and you can make fun of me and my cast," Sonny said waggling her eyes brows at him.
"It will not make me feel much better, but it will kind of cheer me up," Chad said as he stood up, his face brightening at the prospect of making fun of So Random.
Suddenly feeling like he owed Sonny a lot more gratitude than he could express, he gave her a quick kiss on her cheek, along with a tight hug. It didn't express whatever he was feeling fully. But at least it attempted too. Sonny just smiled brightly at him and linked her arm through his, making him walk towards the ice-cream parlors.
Sometimes grief wasn't the easiest thing to deal with, especially alone.
But with Sonny with his side, Chad knew it would definitely ease the pain.
Because sometimes, all you needed was some sunshine to brighten up the gray.
--
The ending is all kinds of bad cheese but I'm stuck in a rut for my other SWAC fic and I needed a break. Title courtesy of the All-American Rejects' 'It Ends Tonight'. I'd like to think it has a lot of hidden meanings and all. I don't own them and I don't own SWAC and I dont own Heineken beers.
Anyhow, knowing your thoughts on this would be nice. :)