A Rock and a Hard Place
Disclaimer: All familiar characters belong to Marvel. I own Farrah/Persiana and Leon/Crisis.
One Shot
Leon Maxwell, the West Coast Avenger known as Crisis, woke up suddenly from a nightmare. He shook his head,
"Wow; that was a terrible dream."
Suddenly, he saw something move in the shadows. He got defensive and readied a white energy blast,
"Who's there?"
A blur tackled him, shouting,
"Honey!"
Leon instantly knew who the voice belonged to,
"Farrah, what are you doing?"
Farrah Willows, the white-haired feline Avenger Persiana, grinned mischievously,
"Welcoming my boyfriend to a brand new day!"
She hugged him, leaning her head on his chest, contorting her limbs around him. Farrah sighed happily,
"I'm in love."
Crisis groaned,
"Farrah, I need to get up."
The lioness pouted,
"But, I want to stay with you. It's so cold out there."
A loud crash was heard, followed by a familiar feminine scream,
"PERSIANA!!! I KNOW IT WAS YOU!!!"
The red-eyed powerhouse sighed,
"What did you do to her now?"
Falcon's voice could be heard,
"Hey, Carol. Nice look!"
This was followed by what sounded like a girlish scream, and the sounds of bones breaking. Carol was not the one screaming.
Firmly, but gently, Leon pushed his girlfriend off, untangling her limbs. He put on a shirt, but Persiana immediately pounced on his back, wrapping up again. Seeing as how it would be pointless to continue, Leon walked out of his room. The sight that greeted him he found…interesting.
Carol Danvers, the heroine Miss Marvel, had a pink wig glued to her head, as well as a pretty pink dress. She had pink high heels on, and the blonde Air Force brat was brimming with rage.
Leon blinked,
"Carol? What happened?"
Carol shrieked,
"THAT STUPID FURBALL DID THIS TO ME! SHE STOLE ALL MY CLOTHES!"
Farrah smirked,
"Now you really look like a Barbie doll, only without that plastic smell."
Carol growled, then pulled out a Guns'n'Roses CD,
"Tell me where my clothes are, or I burn this CD."
Farrah, horrified, shouted,
"You better not, Barbie! I'll rip you apart for that!"
Leon, wincing at how close her voice was to his ear, said,
"Farrah, just give Carol her clothes back."
Farrah shouted,
"Not until Carol stops going after my man!"
The blonde heroine snapped,
"Fat chance! I love him!"
Leon shook his head,
"This is getting us nowhere."
The red-eyed hero finally broke free of Persiana's grasp, grabbed the CD, and then went back to his room. A moment later, he returned, carrying some clothes,
"Carol can borrow some of my clothes until Farrah gives them back."
Carol grinned,
"Thanks, but it would be a big help if you gave me the clothes you're wearing now."
Farrah snarled, embedding her claws into Leon,
"Fat chance, bitch. He's mine."
Leon winced,
"Uh, Farrah; you're claws are cutting me."
Miss Marvel folded her arms,
"Oh, please. Like he's interested in your furry tramp ass!"
Farrah, growling and scratching her claws further, shot back,
"And I suppose a bubbly blonde Barbie bitch like you is any more attractive? You giggle like an air head every time you see him."
Crisis said,
"Farrah, I may be invulnerable, but those claws are really hurting me right now."
The lioness jumped off and pouted,
"I'm so sorry, honey."
She hugged him tightly. Leon would have returned the hug, had Farrah not embedded her claws in his backside and leaned her head in his chest. Carol rolled her eyes,
"You're not just a tramp, Farrah; you're a shameless bitch."
Farrah turned around, smiling evilly,
"Tell me something, Barbie; when the aliens abducted you into their ship, did they discover that you're the only life form that doesn't have a brain and still lives?"
At this, Carol stormed out of there. The furry heroine smiled,
"Hah!"
A moment later, Carol came back, carrying a bucket of ice water. She threw it all over Farrah. Both she and Leon were soaked, but the white-haired Avenger got the worse of it. She looked at Carol's smug smirk and pounced,
"DIE, BARBIE BITCH!"
A cat-fight broke out between the two heroines. Leon, who was somewhat soaked, shook his head,
"Why do they keep having to do this? What have I done to deserve this?"
He walked away to change, not wanting to see the damage that was being done.
Five minute later…
After drying off and finding some fresh clothes, Leon looked in the mirror. He had to tell these women to stop fighting over him. It was getting ridiculous.
As the red-eyed hero stepped out, he got hit with a flying sofa. He was momentarily knocked around before catching it and lowering it to the ground.
Carol called out,
"Sorry, Leon. I meant to hit Farrah!"
Farrah shouted,
"You tried to kill my mate!"
A series of crashes could be heard. Not doubt furniture was being overturned and something fragile was broken. War Machine's voice could be heard,
"NOT THE GOOD CHEEK!!"
Leon watched as the two women continued their cat-fight. He sighed and finally shouted,
"KNOCK IT OFF!!"
Instantly, the two women stopped and came up to either side of him. Carol pouted,
"Leon, what do you see in her? I mean, she's not half the woman I am."
Farrah wrapped her arms around Leon's arm,
"He's mine."
She tugged him, but Carol grabbed the other arm and began a tug of war, with the red-eyed hero as the rope. Finally, both women tried to slap each other, but ended up knocking Crisis unconscious. Farrah and Carol both shrieked,
"LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!"
The cat-fighting resumed.
Leon would be out-cold for several hours. He really did not like being the center of attention.
End of One Shot.