Stupidity
Disclaimer: I don't own 'Flight 29 Down' or any of its characters. Nor do I own 'Be Strong'.
'Stavros' and the plot are all mine (unfortunately?).
Author's Note:
Warning:
This is not my usual fare. I don't know where this story came from but I woke up at three in the morning and couldn't sleep until I wrote it. (Guess I ate something weird for dinner). I tried to forget it and move on but I couldn't get it out of my head until I finished it.
It has a very mature theme right at the beginning and it shows a side of Melissa that I'm still not sure about (but I guess based on my character theory, it is a possibility as this is fiction).
I'm not sure how I feel about this piece but I know some of you are mature enough to look past the 'adult' parts and appreciate the underlying story.
Rated M for adult themes and also for language.
Poetic license as always and remember to suspend disbelief.
Set in the future.
No offense intended toward any of the occupations characterized/mentioned in this story.
- -
Melissa lay there, eyes closed, the fogginess in her brain slowly dissipating, allowing her to gradually become conscious of her surroundings. Ugh! Too much wine! she thought. She became aware of something, no someone moving on top of her. His scent was somewhat pleasant but unfamiliar. She opened her eyes and as they adjusted to the dim light she took in a nightstand with a lamp and alarm clock on it, two chairs and a small table with what looked like bottles and glasses on it. It finally clicked, she was in a hotel room. A strange hotel room. Not my hotel room. She closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to remember. Seattle. Medical conference. Seminars all day. The bar. A handsome man. Sam? Steve? No...Stavros! Definitely Stavros. Businessman. Tall, dark, muscular Greek god. Longish, dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes with a thick fringe of lashes. The fog lifted further. She felt his bare back under her hands, his hardness against her inner thigh. Her legs were spread apart, one of them hooked over his hip. His mouth was moving down her neck, nipping roughly. He had just pulled off her bra. Glad I wore the black lace one flashed through her mind. "Ow!" she suddenly cried as he bit her nipple a little too hard.
"Sorry, Claire," he mumbled as he continued to tweak and suck her nipples.
Her eyes flew open. Claire? Who the hell is…Oh, right! I gave him a fake name. Melissa winced and sobered up in an instant as he pinched her other nipple roughly. Bit by bit, pieces of the evening drifted back to her. Meeting him in the hotel bar, drinking and laughing, coming to his room, champagne and some kissing. How she went from kissing to being in his bed with only her panties on was still a little foggy. What the hell was I thinking? I have to get out of here! She felt his hands aggressively moving lower, his bites following and she knew she was in trouble. More memories surfaced. Stavros pushing her up against the wall a little too enthusiastically. Almost ripping her dress trying to get it off by violently yanking the zipper. Shoving her down on the bed harder than necessary. Okay, Mel, you have to be smart about this or you're gonna end up in real trouble. Think! She felt her panties being pulled down on one side as his hand slid inside them and forcefully squeezed her butt. To distract him she raked her nails up and down his back and said, "Stavros, how about a little more champagne?" She raked her nails down his back again, harder this time, leaving eight dark red streaks. He groaned with pleasure.
"Wha?" he said dazedly, lifting his head.
"I want some more champagne."
"Moresh…sh…champagne?"
"Yes," she said. Thinking fast, Melissa smiled at him seductively and licked her lips. She made her voice husky and said, "My mouth's dry and that won't work for what I have planned." Stavros pulled his hand out of her panties and slowly sat up. Melissa grabbed a pillow and flipped over on her stomach trying to casually hide her nakedness. He gave her a devious smile and slapped her hard on the ass then lurched over to the table and poured more champagne. Melissa shuddered with disgust as he rubbed his growing erection through his briefs. She was relieved to see that he was already drunk, his movements unsteady, eyes unfocused. Melissa caught a glance of a woman sitting opposite her. Who the hell! Then she realized she was seeing her own reflection in a faintly lit mirror. My hair! She searched her mind, trying to remember. Oh yeah, I borrowed it from Daley. She noticed the wig was a bit askew so she quickly straightened it as her eyes darted around the room locating her clothes and the door.
Stavros plopped down on the bed, sloshing champagne onto Melissa's leg. "Oops! Lemme jush clean tha up," he said, starting to slur his words. He bent down and licked the back of her thigh then bit her buttock. Melissa squealed and quickly flipped over and sat up, grabbed her glass and raised it in a toast.
"Bottom's up!" she said loudly, clinking her glass to his. Stavros threw his head back and drained his glass. Melissa took this opportunity to dump hers out between the bed and the wall. "More!" she giggled, holding out her glass. Stavros grinned lecherously at her then stumbled back to the table and brought the bottle back. Melissa grabbed it from him and filled his glass to the rim. She then yelled, "Opa!" and pretended to drink straight from the bottle.
Stavros smiled and yelled, "Opa!" then drained his glass in one gulp. He grabbed the bottle from Melissa, put it to his lips and drained every drop. When he was done he belched loudly as he tossed the bottle against the wall with a dull thud then fell on Melissa and started kissing, biting and squeezing whatever he could reach. Melissa played along and dug her nails into his back. Stavros pushed her back and climbed on top of her. He kissed her harshly, shoving his tongue in her mouth, roughly kneading her breasts. Melissa tried to remain calm and figure out what to do next. He suddenly staggered to his feet and pulled his briefs off, grabbed a condom off the nightstand and slipped it on clumsily then kneeled on the bed over her.
Melissa's mind was working swiftly. He was reaching for her panties when she said, "I have to pee!"
"Now?!"
"Sorry, guess it was all the champagne. I'll be right back!" She leaned forward and gave him a forceful kiss, biting his lip before pulling back. He licked his lips and slapped her ass one more time before rolling onto his back. Melissa jumped up and calmly walked toward the bathroom. She glanced back over her shoulder at him. He was stroking his erection with one hand and fumbling with something in the other.
Melissa controlled her disgust as her eyes darted around the room looking for something to help her. She was acutely aware of her bare breasts and had to fight the impulse to cover herself. She stopped at the table and picked up a bottle. "Oooh! I love tequila! Let's do shots!" she exclaimed. She poured him a triple, walked back to the bed and handed it to him. Melissa lifted the bottle to her lips and once again pretended to drink.
Stavros watched her with a look of admiration on his face. "You flight atten...attendantsh...sh…sh…surecan drink!" He drained his glass.
Huh? Flight attendant? Right! Flight attendant. That's what I told him. "There's not much else to do on layovers," she giggled. Melissa poured him another triple and pretended to take another swig from the bottle. His speech is pretty slurred now, he should be passing out soon, she thought. He drank it down then laughed. Melissa poured him one more, placed the bottle on the nightstand then said, "Ooo! I gotta go! I'll be back!" She walked to the bathroom, scooping her bra off the floor as she went.
Stavros emptied his glass again and laughed. He'd taken several pictures on his phone without her noticing. The light's pretty low, I hope these come out, he thought. He poured himself one more and drank it then lay back on the pillows, waiting expectantly. He laughed quietly as he checked the pictures he'd taken.
Melissa locked the door behind her. She leaned against it trying to calm her breathing and focus her thoughts. She looked at herself in the mirror and thought, I don't even recognize myself…and that's probably a good thing. The reflection staring back was of a young Asian woman with a short, black bob, heavy eye makeup and smeared red lipstick. She was wearing only black lace panties and had several bruises showing on her neck, breasts and abdomen. She started thinking about what she had almost done and felt the bile rising. Stop it, Mel! No time for that now.
She turned on the water and used one of the washcloths to wipe her mouth, removing the smeared lipstick. Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy. I'm gonna feel like hell tomorrow, she thought. Melissa picked up her bra from the counter and put it on. God Mel, what the hell were you thinking? Something terrible could have happened! And it still could. She looked hard at herself in the mirror again and shook her head. She straightened the wig. At least you wore this stupid wig and gave a fake name and occupation! She shook her head again. Alright, there will be plenty of time to berate yourself later, right now you have to focus on getting out of here.
She listened at the door for a few minutes but heard nothing. Melissa quietly eased it open a little and listened again. She heard snores coming from the room. Inaudibly, she let out a sigh of relief as she inched the door open and crept out. She picked up her red dress from a nearby chair and stepped into it. She looked around for her shoes as she zipped it up. There! By the bed. Melissa tiptoed to the bed and carefully picked them up. She looked down at Stavros. He was lying on his back against the pillows, holding his cell phone. He looked kind of pathetic lying there naked, with the condom hanging loosely off his now-flaccid penis. He is gorgeous. If only I was that kind of girl, she thought. He's definitely Taylor's cup of tea. Melissa pulled the phone from his hand and set it on the nightstand. She rolled him over onto his stomach with his head hanging over the side and positioned the wastebasket under it. Don't want him to puke and asphyxiate on his own vomit, she thought, ever the doctor. Melissa's cheeks reddened as she noted the dark scratches on his back.
She quickly crossed the room and slipped into her shoes and pulled on her coat. She picked up her purse and did one final check to make sure she didn't leave anything of hers in his room. She opened her purse and there was her room key, cell phone, some cash and the red lipstick. She walked back into the bathroom and reapplied her lipstick. She noticed she had both earrings on but her watch was missing. Damn! Melissa walked back out to the bed. There, on the nightstand. She was putting it in her purse when something about his phone caught her eye.
She picked it up and saw it was in camera mode. Melissa pushed a few buttons and stared as a picture of "Claire" clad only in tiny black panties flashed on the screen. She scrolled through several more pictures showing "Claire" from the back, the side, walking, pouring a drink, laughing and ended on a close-up of her breasts as "Claire" appeared to be drinking from a bottle. I look pretty good, she couldn't help thinking. She pushed the arrow again but it was a picture of Stavros on a boat. Melissa looked down at him and scowled. "Sneaky bastard," she said quietly. Taking pictures for all your friends? Melissa navigated through a few menus to make sure he hadn't emailed them. She breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't. She deleted the pictures and snapped the phone shut. She flipped the back off and removed the SIM card. Melissa reached in her purse and took out the one thing she had with her at all times since being rescued. A lighter. She flicked it and held the small flame to the card, melting the little computer chip. When it was definitely destroyed she played the flame over the inside for a few seconds to melt the connections then replaced what was left of the card back in the phone and snapped the cover in place. Then she threw it against the wall as hard as she could and watched it fall in pieces to the floor.
At the sound of the phone smashing against the wall, Stavros snorted and pushed himself up on his hands and looked at her. Melissa froze. They stared at each other for a few seconds then he collapsed back onto the bed and started snoring. She quickly crossed to the door and let herself out into the hall. Deserted. Thank god!
She went to the elevator and pushed the down button. She watched as it slowly started to climb from the lobby. She was getting anxious, it was taking too long. She saw the exit sign at the end of the hallway and walked as fast as she could toward it. Why the hell did I wear these stilettos? She carefully walked down several flights to her floor and stepped out into an identical hallway. Melissa scanned the hall then hurried to her door. She had her key card out and ready. In another few seconds she was safe inside her own room with all three locks secured and the 'Do Not Disturb' sign hanging from the knob. No one had seen her.
Melissa stood there for a minute catching her breath then she started to tremble. She threw her purse on the table as she kicked off her heels and tossed her coat over a chair. She pulled off the borrowed wig and tossed it onto the dresser. Melissa removed her clothes and went into the bathroom and turned the tap on. She pulled out her cleanser and scrubbed her face until there were no traces of "Claire" left. Melissa felt sick as she replayed the evening in her mind. She suddenly felt her belly heave. She bent over the toilet and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach into it. When she was done she flushed the mess away and rinsed out her mouth.
Melissa turned on the shower and stepped in. She shampooed her hair then scrubbed herself vigorously, trying to cleanse all her senses of Stavros. As the gravity of the situation she'd put herself in hit her, a dam burst and she stood under the hot, pulsating water hugging herself and sobbing until the water started getting cold. She turned it off and stepped out. The air was swirling with steam. Melissa wrapped a towel around her hair and the thick terrycloth robe the hotel provided around her shoulders, pulling the belt tight. She went to the sink and brushed her teeth for ten minutes. When she was done she gargled for another five. The room had finally cleared. Melissa unwrapped her hair and combed through it. She picked up the hairdryer and stood there in a trance-like state trying not to think while she dried her hair. When she was done she stared at herself in the mirror. "I don't even know who you are right now," she said aloud. I can't believe I would do something so…so…wrong for me. That I'd let my desperation to get over Jackson completely overrule my common sense and morals…And all that champagne didn't help either.
Melissa walked out and sat down at the table. I'm just glad no one was here to see me make such a fool of myself. At least I won't have to explain this act of idiocy to anyone. Melissa buried her face in her arms as more hot tears of humiliation and fear poured from her eyes. After a bit she wiped her eyes on her sleeve and looked at her conference schedule for the next day. Good. Nothing until after lunch. Melissa went to her suitcase and pulled on her pajamas. She found her aspirin and popped three tablets in her mouth and swallowed them. Melissa moved to the bed and crawled under the covers. She curled up in the fetal position and felt her face grow warm with shame as her actions began to haunt her again and all the possibilities of what could have happened occurred to her.
How the hell did I let myself get to this place?
--FLASHBACK--
After they were rescued, Melissa and Jackson took their relationship very slow. They dated all through their junior and senior years. They went to UCLA together, Melissa to medical school, Jackson to become a teacher. They fell deeply in love. It wasn't until their last semester of classes that they finally made love. Jackson was so gentle and loving. He made Melissa's first time unforgettable. They graduated and Jackson got a job at a middle school. They started making plans to move in together when suddenly, a few months after Melissa started her internship, Jackson broke up with her. He'd met a music teacher at work and wanted to start dating her. Melissa was crushed. Daley and Taylor let her cry on their shoulders for a few months then they'd had enough.
They dressed her up and took her for a girl's night out. After a few rounds, Daley and Taylor gave her some advice.
"Listen, Melissa. I'm telling you. The best way to get over Jackson is to find someone else," Taylor said, sipping her Cosmo.
"She's right," Daley chimed in.
"I'm not ready to even start thinking about someone else," Melissa replied.
Daley continued, "Fine, give yourself a little more time." She suddenly smiled and became excited. "Hey, you have that conference in Seattle coming up in a few months…that's the perfect opportunity for you to go out, find some hot guy and fuck his brains out!"
"What!" Melissa shrieked in surprise. She'd never heard Daley talk like that before.
"Oh, you're so right, Daley! It's just what the doctor ordered, so to speak," Taylor added with a smirk.
"Yeah, you get dressed up really sexy. A wig, lots of makeup, tight little dress, stilettos. Go to a bar, find a hot guy, use a fake name. Go to his room and fuck his brains out, let him fuck yours out, then go your separate ways in the morning. If he's good, keep him around for the weekend. If not, different wig, different name, different guy the next night."
"Oh my god! Daley! I can't believe you of all people are saying this!"
"What? It works. Ask Taylor." Melissa's eyes widened in shock as she turned to stare at Taylor.
"She's right. It does. And the hotter the guy is, the better it works," Taylor stated matter-of-factly. "Ask Abby."
Melissa couldn't believe what she was hearing from her two closest friends. "I could never…" she started, shaking her head.
"Sure you could!" Daley said.
Melissa stared at her, incredulous. "Daley! You're a guidance counselor for god's sake! Is this the kind of advice you give to your students? And Taylor, is this what a life coach tells her clients to do?" Both girls exchanged amused glances. A thought suddenly struck Melissa and she turned to Daley. "Wait! Is that what you did in that six month period when you and Nathan broke up?" Daley looked calmly at Melissa and opened her mouth to answer but Melissa held her hand up to cut her off. "Stop! I don't want to know!"
"Look Mel, I'll loan you some of my mom's old wigs …"
"Oh, and I have the perfect little red dress. It'll look great on you! And the matching stilettos, of course."
"And make sure you wear black lingerie."
"Yeah, that's crucial."
"Thanks guys but…I think I'll pass."
"At least take the stuff and think about it," Daley said. "It really will help. Trust us."
--END FLASHBACK--
Melissa buried her face in her hands. What the hell was I thinking listening to such asinine advice? This is so not me…and it never will be! Screwing some stranger isn't going to help me get over Jackson…it's only been eight months. I just need more time. I can't believe I was so stupid! And so incredibly lucky that nothing bad happened. He could have been some perv or a serial killer…or…I could have gotten a disease! God, I know better than to do something so reckless!
Melissa started thinking about her friends. Did Daley really do that when she and Nathan broke up? I knew Taylor and Abby slept around, but Daley? She did take that trip to New York a few months after their breakup. I wonder if Nathan knows? An involuntary tremor passed through her body. I don't even want to think about it.
Melissa sighed. I need to sleep. But her mind was stuck on her foolish actions. She rubbed her eyes. Alright, Mel. Time to stop. You've beat yourself up enough. You did something stupid, realized your mistake and thankfully stopped yourself before you had any real regrets. It's over. Now try and let it go so you can get on with your life. Melissa took a deep breath, exhaled slowly and looked over at the clock. 3:27 a.m. She set the alarm for ten, turned off the lamp and lay back, hugging a pillow to her chest. She fell asleep almost instantly.
The next morning Melissa woke as soon as her alarm went off. The events of the night before hit her at the same time as her headache. She got up and downed more aspirin then took another shower. She called room service and ordered some food. Melissa put on a conservative blouse, black jeans and sneakers. She pulled the front of her hair back in a clip and applied minimal makeup. Her food arrived and she sat going over her seminar notes and schedule as she ate. It feels good to focus on work, she thought. It had been her solace in the months since Jackson had dumped her. When she finished she headed down to the conference rooms. Melissa attended three different lectures then met up with some of her parent's friends for dinner. They went to a quiet, casual restaurant that had excellent food. This is the kind of place Jackson and I would have loved, she caught herself thinking. Melissa returned to the hotel and ran into some of her friends from medical school in the lobby. She agreed to meet them in the bar in an hour.
Melissa returned to her room and freshened up. She applied a little more makeup and let her hair down. She traded her sneakers and jeans for a black skirt, tank and low-heeled boots. Thirty minutes later she was downstairs with her friends, talking and laughing but not drinking. When it was her turn, she went to the bar and ordered a round for the table then sat there a few minutes sipping her water, taking a break from all the chatter. Melissa felt someone slip onto the empty stool next to her. She could tell from her peripheral vision that he was staring at her. Oh shit, here we go again. At least I know it's not Stavros. Melissa had called the front desk and he had checked out that afternoon, much to her relief. She turned to brush the guy off and froze.
"Hey, Mel."
What the…? She was facing the person she least wanted to see and most wanted to see. He was certainly the last person she expected to see. "J…Jackson? How did you find me?"
"Don't be mad. I tricked Taylor into telling me where you were."
Well that couldn't have been too difficult, she thought. God, he looks so good. He was wearing a dark blue shirt, black leather jacket and jeans. Damn! Why does he have to look at me with those blasted blue eyes of his? Pull yourself together, Mel. You can deal with this. "What are you doing here?"
"I came to see you. I have to talk to you, Mel."
"And I have to get back to my friends," she said evenly, turning away from him.
"Please, Mel. I have some things I really need to say."
"Your actions spoke volumes eight months ago."
"Mel, please? I came all this way. It's important. " Melissa turned and looked at him, considering for a moment.
"Fine." Why can't I deny him?
"Can we find someplace a little more quiet?" he asked, looking around the noisy, crowded bar.
"Okay, just a minute. Let me tell my friends I'm leaving." Melissa walked over to the rowdy table and told her friends she had something to take care of. They promised to get together again tomorrow. Melissa led the way out of the bar to the lobby. There were plenty of places to sit and talk there. Unfortunately, as this was Seattle, it was raining outside and the lobby was packed. Melissa sighed and led him to the elevators. She entered one and pressed the five button. Is this smart, Mel? Taking him to your room? Nothing's going to happen, we just need a quiet, private place to talk, she rationalized. The elevator stopped and the door slid open.
Melissa led him to her room and opened the door. They walked in and she calmly sat down on one of the chairs, folding her hands in her lap. Jackson took the one opposite and leaned forward, placing his hands on the table. They sat in an awkward silence for a minute. "You look really good, Mel."
She looked away from him. "Don't, Jackson. Or you can just leave now."
He took a deep breath. "Sorry, Mel. Please, hear me out." She turned her gaze on him. He looked her in the eye. "Eight months ago I made a stupid decision that I regret more than you can know. I realized after a month that it was the biggest mistake of my life and broke it off shortly thereafter. I wanted to come to you a long time ago but…I knew I'd hurt you so…I tried to forget about you. I tried to move on but…I couldn't. I realized that the only thing in my life that made me truly happy…was you. I am so incredibly sorry. I…want you back, Mel. I want us back. Please?"
Melissa saw the sincerity in his eyes. She said, "No."
He looked surprised and hurt. "What?"
"I said no. A simple apology isn't going to cut it."
Melissa was proud of how strong her voice sounded because there was a part of her, bigger than she cared to admit, that wanted nothing more than to throw herself into his arms, everything forgiven, and make love to him. But she knew she couldn't do that. The old Melissa, the Melissa before the crash, before Jackson, would have. But she wasn't that person anymore. Melissa had proven long ago to herself and everyone else how strong she really was. Jackson knew this. He was the one who had encouraged that strength through their years together. He couldn't expect her to take him back so easily. And she wouldn't.
Jackson gazed at her and saw the familiar look of determination in her eyes. He hadn't thought she'd let him off easy and he realized he was glad she wouldn't. That was one of the reasons he loved her. He rubbed his hands over his face, exhaled loudly and looked at her. "You're right, Mel. I owe you so much more than an apology. The problem is, I don't know if I can explain it to your satisfaction. Hell, I don't know if I can explain it to myself."
Melissa was watching him closely. She projected a calm façade but inside, her stomach was churning, her heart was pounding in her chest. "I'm listening."
He took a deep breath. "Mel, remember how slow we took our relationship?" She nodded. "It was because of several things, but mostly…because I was scared to love you."
"Why?"
"Because I always lose what I love and I didn't want to lose you."
"Well that strategy worked out really well for you, didn't it?" she said sarcastically.
Jackson looked at her, puzzled. Melissa was rarely sarcastic. "Please, Mel. I am so so sorry. When we started making plans to move in together I felt…cornered. No, wait, that's not the right word. I…It was a huge step for me, and I still felt like a kid. I believed in you and our love but…I didn't…believe in myself I guess. It all seemed kind of …surreal." It was Melissa's turn to look puzzled. He explained, "Having someone to love and trust, and that person loving and trusting me, having a decent career, starting a life together…no gangs, no case worker, no problems…it's like I was living someone else's life. A life I didn't deserve. And…I don't know, I…I guess I just wasn't ready." He threw his hands in the air and let them drop then looked at her helplessly.
"Why didn't you just tell me that?"
"Because I was…scared. And stupid."
"I would have understood. Do you think I wasn't scared? You weren't the only reason we moved so slowly. I loved you but I had trust issues, too. Remember?"
Jackson sighed. "I guess I was just so caught up in my own head, I wasn't thinking about how you felt."
"Obviously."
He looked at her intently. "Look, Mel. I loved you. I still love you. I realized that you are all I want, all I need. Please, please forgive me. Give me another chance."
Melissa peered into his eyes. God, I've missed looking into those eyes. But there was no turning back for her. Jackson had hurt her too deeply. She couldn't forgive that so easily. He'd have to earn her trust again. Earn her. He still has my love but I'll keep that to myself for now, she thought.
Melissa said, "I'll do my best to forgive you but forgetting won't be so easy. You broke my heart and my trust…it will take a long time to earn them back. And I won't make it easy for you. Are you sure this is what you really want?"
"I'm sure. I'll do whatever I have to, to win you back. I don't expect you to make it easy, I don't want you to. I know I don't deserve it, but just give me that chance, Mel. Please."
"I…need to know something, Jackson." I really don't want to but I need to. "Did you…sleep...with that girl?"
Jackson looked down at the carpet. She noticed the color rise in his cheeks. He raised his eyes and stared directly into hers. "I could never lie to you, Mel. I want to right now but I won't. You deserve the truth." He took a deep breath and said, "I did. A few times."
Melissa did her best to show no emotion but she felt like a knife had been plunged into her heart and twisted. Despite her best efforts, two small tears ran slowly down her cheeks.
Jackson saw the tears and felt a stab in his own heart. "I know this will sound clichéd but it meant nothing to me. She meant nothing to me. Everything felt wrong while I was with her and after we had…I felt so…empty." Jackson dropped his head in shame and put his hands over his eyes.
Melissa felt the knife twisting in her stomach now. "Then why did you stay with her if you felt that way?" she asked in a small voice.
Jackson rose from his chair and closed the distance between them. He knelt in front of her and looked up into those lovely brown eyes. He reached up and gently wiped away her tears. "Because I was a fucking idiot who listened to the advice of some other fucking idiots. They filled my head with all that 'sow your wild oats' and 'you're young, you need to play the field' crap and I was dense enough to listen. It's no excuse, it was my decision to do something so stupid and I accept full responsibility."
Jackson took her hands and was encouraged when she didn't pull them back. "I never stopped loving you, Mel. I tried to tell myself that I needed to find out what else was out there, but I discovered there was nothing and no one for me…except you. Nothing that happened to me, no matter how good, meant anything without you beside me to share it. I am really and truly sorry for hurting you and I don't know that I'll ever forgive myself, even if you do. I knew I had a good thing with you, better than I deserved, better than I ever dreamed I'd get in this life. And I've kicked myself everyday since I left you for throwing something so amazing away. I still can't believe I was so incredibly stupid."
Melissa stared into his extraordinary eyes and felt her heart flutter. She took a deep breath and said, "I appreciate your honesty, Jackson. I do." She gave a little laugh. "You know, there's a tiny part of me that wants to take you back and pick up right where we left off…but, I can't. You were the first man I ever trusted completely and you broke my heart. I thought I was going to die that first week after you left." She gave him a half-smile. "But I didn't. The island showed me how strong I was. You showed me how strong I am. I deserve better than what you did to me." Jackson closed his eyes, dropped his head and nodded in agreement. Melissa gazed at him for a few minutes then seemed to make up her mind.
"I accept your apology." His head snapped up and he was pulled into her warm brown eyes again.
"I've done some stupid things too, Jackson." He looked at her questioningly. Melissa's cheeks flamed red. I hope he doesn't notice.
"And that's why…I'm willing…in time…to give you a chance."
Internally, Jackson sighed in relief. "That's all I'm asking for, Mel."
"This isn't a guarantee, Jackson. It doesn't mean I'm taking you back. Only that…we'll see what happens."
"I understand, Mel."
"I hope you do."
"Thank you so much. I know this is more than I deserve."
"You can start by taking me to lunch when I get back to L.A.."
Jackson's eyes lit up. "Really? You mean it, Mel?" He hadn't expected to be able to see her so soon.
"Yeah, I think lunch would be alright." She gave his hands the slightest squeeze, then pulled hers free. Melissa wanted to hug him and feel those familiar arms hold her, to bury her face in his neck and inhale his scent but instead, she stood and said, "It's time for you to leave, Jackson."
Jackson stood and looked down at her. "Okay. Mel, thank you. I'll…uh…call you on Monday?" he asked tentatively.
"I won't be back until Wednesday evening."
"Thursday then?"
"Thursday."
Melissa followed him to the door. As he reached for the handle Jackson stopped and said quietly, "You know, I saw you yesterday."
Melissa looked confused. "At the NICU seminar?"
Jackson was staring at the doorknob. "No. Last night. In the bar." Melissa's eyes went wide. She felt her face grow warm.
He continued softly, "I recognized you right away…even in that wig. I'd know you anywhere." He took a deep breath. He traced his index finger up and down the pattern of the wood grain on the door. "From the looks all the women were giving him…I'd guess that guy was considered 'hot'. He certainly looked rich." Jackson paused. "Did you…sleep with him, Mel?"
Several emotions crossed her face. She was glad she was facing his back. Melissa used everything she had to keep her voice even. She crossed her arms over her chest and said, "You have no right to ask me that, Jackson."
He exhaled loudly. It was his turn to feel a knife twisting in his gut. Still staring at the door he said, "You're right, I don't. I'm…sorry." He pulled the door open and turned to look at her once more. He had tears in his eyes.
"I'll talk to you on Thursday," she said. He nodded sadly and turned away.
"I…didn't," she whispered. Jackson stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around and searched her face. Quietly she said, "I was going to but I couldn't go through with it. It wasn't right for me." She looked him squarely in the eye and answered the question she saw there. "I was a fucking idiot who listened to the advice of some other fucking idiots, too. I tried to be someone I wasn't just to prove I was over you."
"And did you?" His eyes bored into hers.
She shook her head slightly. "I proved that I can only be myself and shouldn't listen to other people when it comes to my feelings." It was Melissa's turn to exhale loudly. "I'm really tired. I'll see you when I get back. Good-bye, Jackson."
"'Bye, Mel." He turned and walked toward the elevators. Jackson felt a small smile play at the corner of his mouth. She didn't sleep with him. He felt immensely relieved and more optimistic than he had in eight months. There's still hope, he thought as he started singing 'Be Strong' under his breath.
She closed the door and sagged against it. Melissa didn't know if she could ever get over what Jackson did to her but in her heart, she knew she wanted to. She had never stopped loving him and didn't know if she ever could. But that doesn't mean we'll be together. Melissa sighed and started getting ready for bed. Hopefully, this can be a new start for us, she thought as a little smile appeared on her face.
One thing Melissa knew for certain, I'll NEVER listen to Daley and Taylor's lame-ass advice again. Ever!
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A/N: Actually, the more times I read this, the more I can see it happening. I know plenty of adults who let people talk them into doing stupid things, completely out of character (guilty). We've all been guilty of this at least once in our lives. Or will be.
So, this is the part where I say thanks for reading and ask you to review. (If you feel more comfortable sending me a PM, that's fine, too). Or both. :)
If you're one of the younger readers on this site who just want to comment on the sexual part, thanks for reading but please don't bother. You obviously missed the point.