A story invented by my sister and me. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoyed creating it. This is only the first chapter, but this story is not going to be very long. I think.

It was a normal day at the ninja academy. Sunny with the occasional cloud. Oh yeah, and Naruto was annoying everybody, as usual. And the fan girls were being fan girly. And the irrelevant characters were busy being irrelevant with the other irrelevant characters. And Sasuke and Naruto were playing tic-tac-toe for who got Sakura. Only Sasuke was purposefully losing. Yep, pretty normal. Yet though it would surely stay that way for the rest of the story, it will be slightly unnormal for you, reader, because you are probably not used to unnormal things being normal. But I digress.

Iruka stormed in with an angry look on his face that made everybody shut up and sit up straight. Only Naruto had just beat Sasuke at tic-tac-toe for the sixty third time and shouted, "Yes! I beat you! What a streak! You lose! Ha! Ha, ha!" and the like. Iruka was in no mood for this today.

"Naruto! Get off the ceiling!" he shouted. For what is tic-tac-toe if you're playing it right side up?

"What's got you down, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked, unhappily sitting in his chair. Sasuke stayed on the ceiling because Iruka hadn't told him to come down, not to mention, he was safe from the fan girls.

"I was so busy grading all your papers that I didn't get any sleep last night!" Iruka growled.

"But sensei, it usually makes you happy to grade our papers because you dish out so many F's," Sakura noted.

"Well, that and my cat was caterwauling all night," Iruka added. "But nonetheless, I want you guys out of my hair. So I'm going to give you a special assignment."

"Is it a ninja assignment?" Naruto said, standing up.

"Naruto! You interrupted me! I'm fed up with your over-exuberance! I'm going to give you a punishment!" Iruka shouted.

"Aw, what's it gonna be today? Are you going to make me write lines on the board or stand on my hands till all the blood drains out of my face?" Naruto asked, so used to these punishments that he had excellent finger strength.

"No. We're going to mix it up a little today with a nice book I bought." Iruka grinned, pulling a book out of his desk drawer titled Pioneer Classroom Punishments of the 17th Century. "Let's see… Naruto Uzamaki, your punishment is to stand against the wall with a bucket of Sunny D on your head!"

"But sensei, Sunny D wasn't around in the 1800's," Sakura stated in her usual smarty pants way.

"Yeah, even I knew that!" Naruto yelled, even though he had only known that since three seconds ago.

"Sakura, that's blatantly obvious. I'm merely saying we must make do with what we have." Iruka took a two-gallon container of Sunny D out from under the cabinet and filled it into a bucket.

"To the corner," Iruka instructed.

"Yeah, okay." Naruto did not trust the new punishment. But Naruto has trouble trusting anything new unless it's a new flavor of ramen or something.

"Your assignment is actually a requirement. Fortunately for all you idiots, it doesn't matter if you get an F as long as you keep trying," Iruka explained. "Also, all you nameless, irrelevant people aren't going to do the assignment at all. You're going to go home and continue to be irrelevant until you're needed later."

"Aww…" said all the irrelevant people as they filed out, knowing that none of them would ever become amazing ninjas or really anything important ever again.

"Okay, this is a partner project. The teams are supposed to be boy-girl, but since we lack in girls, some will be boy-boy. Your partners were chosen out of a hat at random."

"I don't care! Just tell us what the assignment is already!" Naruto shouted from his corner.

"I'm getting to that!" Iruka gritted his teeth and tried to calm himself.

"Dead cats… dead cats…" Kiba muttered like a mantra, the only one who remembered why Iruka was in such a bad mood in the first place.

"Ah, yes… Thank you, Kiba. As I was saying until Naruto so rudely interrupted, your assignment is to take care of this." Iruka held up a flower sack.

"But… why that? What's so special about it?" Ino asked.

"Absolutely nothing. Yet. As soon as it is in the arms of you happy parents-"

"Parents?!" Hinata shrieked and fell over.

"Just leave her there," Iruka said, even though no one was making a movement to get her. "Yes, parents. Pretend parents. As soon as this flour sack is in your arms, it is your baby. You must treat it with kindness. Also, joining us today are some ninjas you may know: Team Guy, consisting of Lee, Tenten and Neji. They never got to do the assignment last year."

"We all had the flu!" Lee said, sticking up his index finger.

"Guy gave us food poisoning," Tenten stated flatly.

"I still wonder why I trusted him to be good at cooking," Neji mumbled bitterly.

"It was a simple mistake! Guy sensei was just trying to make dinner!" Rock Lee said in his beloved teacher's defense.

"It doesn't matter if they're both white! Mixing up flour and bleach is not a simple mistake!" Neji and Tenten argued back.

"Shh, don't say that in front of the children," Shino… well, I don't really know what you'd call it. Well, I guess we'll say he spoke, but it was in such a demeaning and creepy way that it is indescribable. But because this chapter can only be so long, he spoke.

The utterance of Shino sent a shiver down everyone's spine.

"Continuing," Iruka said after he had collected himself, "I will call the name of your partner. You two will receive your flour sack and decide on the name. Then you will take care of your sack for the rest of the day. The person with their flour sack in the best condition will receive the best grade. Do not give up! If something happens to your flour sack, come back for a new one. It's better than not becoming a ninja. Any questions?"

"Oh! I have a question, sensei!" Naruto was waving his hand about rabidly; the Sunny D had long ago spilled over and he had snuck back to his desk.

"Yes, Naruto?" Iruka truly didn't care.

"Where do babies come from?" Naruto asked, an insidious grin on his face.

"I DON'T KNOW! ASK GUY!" Iruka shouted back.

"Oh, no. Don't ask Guy," Neji said, shaking his head back and forth, eyes wide.

"But he explains it so well!" Rock Lee said youthfully.

"Too well," Tenten said, her expression the same as Neji's.

"Alright, now your partners are as follows." Iruka picked up a list and cleared his throat. "The clearing the throat thing? That was just for emphasis. Alright, first: Naruto and Tenten."

"Who's that?" Naruto asked.

"Me." Tenten stared back at Naruto.

"Oh. I thought you left the show," Naruto said sincerely.

"I thought you were a walking traffic cone, but shows how much we know." Tenten and Naruto grinned almost maliciously, somehow knowing that their partnership was an interesting twist of fate.

"What will you call your flour sack?" Iruka asked them.

"Oh… a name, huh? It's gotta be good. Hmm…" Naruto stared at the ceiling.

"Nymphadora," Tenten answered.

"That name sucks!" Naruto growled.

"Yeah, well I'm reading the fifth Harry Potter right now," Tenten said with a shrug.

"Okay, next is: Hinata and Nej-"

"Nooooooooooo!" Hinata wailed. "No! No! Nooooooooooo!"

"What's the big deal, Hinata?" Neji asked, eyes narrowed.

Hinata, looked down, poking her index fingers together. "Well… I-"

"Ugh! You're such a push-over! Don't slouch like that! Sit up! Are you a ninja or aren't you? Look me in the eye when you speak! And don't forget to breathe!" Neji commanded.

"Yes, sir!" Hinata was having difficulty doing all three at once.

Iruka knew he had randomly chosen teams, but things were working out quite well. "And what do you want to name your child?"

Hinata started blushing noticeably. "Um… Naru-"

"Well, it's ridiculous to name something such as inferior and simple as a flour sack. Its name must be something easy to remember, something unimportant… We will call it 5!" Neji decided with vigor.

"Um… 5?" Hinata questioned.

Neji's eyes glinted. "Is there a problem with that?"
"No, sir!" Hinata proceeded to sit up as straight as a yardstick, taking humongous and loud gulps of air to prove that she had, indeed, remembered to breathe.

"Now for the last of Group Guy: Lee and Sakura," Iruka announced.

"Aw, you're kidding." Sakura slammed her spacious forehead into the desk.

"We will have such a beautiful child!" Rock Lee's eyes lit up with his inner youth.

"Right… So, it's name?"

"Sasuke jr., of course!" Sakura squealed.

"You're naming a flour sack after me?" said Sasuke, for just because he was upside-down did not mean he wasn't paying attention.

"I name everything after you. It's what a fan girl does." Sakura nodded along with Ino.

"Okay, this chapter is almost four pages long, so you guys are going to have to cut down on the dialogue," Iruka explained. "Next: Ino and Shino. Oh. Your names rhyme. That's so perfect."

"Adorababy!" Ino shouted before Shino could get out a word.

"But I want to call it Adorabuggy," Shino protested.

Ino stuck out her tongue. "Well, that's just too bad."

"Adorababy… right. Okay, now that no more girls are left in the class, here are our boy-boy groups. First, Choji and Kiba."

"Who's that?" Choji asked, his words cut up by bites of potato chips.

"Um, hi," Kiba said, waving at Choji from across the room.

"Whatever." Choji continued eating too much. "Our flour's name is Sacky."

"How original of you. Now, Shikamaru and Sasuke, you're partners. The last ones, I think," Iruka added.

Shikamaru and Sasuke stared at each other.

"Just to get this settled, I'm not mommy," Shikamaru said.

"You look more like a girl than me though," Sasuke insisted, for just because he was upside-down did not mean Shikamaru had any less hair.

"Okay, I don't care. What's the thing's name?" Iruka asked, getting impatient with how long this was taking.

"Ugly," Shikamaru said simply.

"You can't call Sasuke's baby Ugly! His baby's name should be something better!"

"Something Better… okay, nice name, Sasuke." Iruka wrote that down. "Alright. Everyone come get a flour sack and leave."

"Hey! Hey, Tenten!" Naruto shouted.

"Yeah?" Tenten said.

"My football popped," Naruto shouted.

Both grinned equally as an idea formed in their heads, staring at the flour sack child in a rather malicious way.

And so that is how their normal morning began.

Chapter two is soon to come.