Saying I miss you is an understatement, but saying I still love you after all this time seems so pathetic. Moving on sounded so easy but when it came down to it, no man could ever give me what you did. You gave me a friendship, a close bond, someone to lead a ship with, someone to depend on and love and love me, someone who actually showed me how to have fun on our amazing adventures. You taught me everything, from sword fighting to every job the beautiful Jolly Roger had to offer. No man could ever replace you, and god knows they've tried. This is what motivates me to find you. I will find you Killian, if it is the last thing I do.That was the last letter I wrote before my escape from Neverland. I'd attained a rare magic bean from a kind fairy who'd befriended me some time after Killian disappeared. When I had no one and nothing, Stella was kind enough to lend me her help. It was five years until she was able to find a magic bean for me. I knew I could finally go to the land without magic Killian had always talked about and I had no doubts that that is where he'd gone. The deal with the queen hadn't gone as planned, he couldn't have left me on purpose, could he?
The thoughts of what happened that day, or could have happened, have haunted my memory but no matter what I could never accept that he'd abandoned me. That wasn't him. And the moment I got my chance I knew I'd find my way to him again, and that time had finally come after five lonely years. I was ready.
As I said my goodbye's to Stella, I couldn't help but feel a little sad. I had come to Neverland so long ago that I hadn't even remembered what it was like anywhere else. I'd met Killian here, we did everything here, my whole life was here, and yet I had been trying to run from it for half a decade.
I kissed the last object I had of my love, his ring. It was silver with a large garnet set in the shape of an oval. Little diamonds surrounded the deep red rock, like ice around a volcano. He'd gotten it from his brother, Liam, before he died. It was special to him, and he told me to hang on to it for him. I'd given him something special to me in return that day as well. It was my father's necklace he'd given to me before he went out to sea. He and his crew were out to deliver goods to another part of Neverland. The waters were dangerous and I didn't want him to go. So I snuck onto his ship. It burned that night, which was the night Killian saved my life. We'd given each other these special objects as a promise of a bond bound by love.
I activated the bean and jumped through the gaping hole in the ground, afraid of what I would find at the other end. I could only hope this would send me where I wanted to go.
At some point, I'd blacked out. I didn't remember almost anything after jumping in. I opened my eyes to find myself on a beach, freezing cold waves crashing against my shivering body. I sat up and looked around, not seeing anything familiar. I stood up and walked around, hoping to find someone, anyone really, who could tell me where I was.
I wondered out to a road, which seemed incredibly strange to me. Everything looked very odd, hundreds of objects around me were unrecognizable, mostly objects seemed to be used for mobility purposes. As I walked around, I quickly discovered that I didn't exactly look like the others around me. There weren't many people around but they definitely did not look like me or anyone I'd ever seen. Their clothes were strange, materials I hadn't ever worn in ways I'd never think to wear them. I definitely had a lot of catching up to do.
I wasn't sure what I thought I'd find. I knew I wanted to find Killian, but I had never thought about how I'd do it once I got here. I decided to push that thought aside and head to a place that had a sign about serving food. I was starving.
I walked in, soaking wet and probably smelling like the sea. Not a good mix. People were staring and whispering. It must have been a small place. Everyone seemed to know each other and got a little weirded out by a newcomer.
"Sit down dear." I turned quickly toward the voice that belonged to a short, grey haired woman. She smiled at me, which was a relief from all the questionable stares. "Are you from here?" She asked gently, as I sat down at a table she lead me to.
"I just got here." I said, still trying to figure things out. I couldn't get over how strange everything looked.
"Where are you from? And how did you get here?" She asked. She seemed to be trying to sound more casual than she was. She was honestly just asking what everyone else was to afraid to ask.
"Neverland. I got here through a magic bean." I said, finally making eye contact with the woman. "My name is Grace."
"Well Grace, everyone around here calls me Granny." She shook my hand sweetly, though I could tell she was really a tough cookie at heart. "I'm going to get you some food, okay? Wait here." She left through a set of doors behind a bar, though I could still see her whispering to her cook. She took out a rectangular device and touched it a few times and put it away. I was clearly lost so I shrugged it off.
After a short while Granny brought me a plate of food. It was definitely not what I was expecting. Even the food was weird. "This is lasagna. It's a noodle with sauce. Eat up." She smiled and walked away, checking her device again.
Soon after I started eating I realized the lasagna was the best thing I'd ever eaten. Food in this world was definitely better. I ate with such excitement that I hadn't even noticed a pretty blond girl in a black jacket stand before me before she spoke.
"Hi." She said, sharp and to the point. She didn't look very friendly and I was a little afraid of her already. "Who are you?"
"I'm Grace. From Neverland." I said, knowing she'd probably have the same questions as everyone else. "Who are you?"
"Emma." She said, looking a little annoyed. "Why are you here, Grace?" She asked.
"I'm looking for someone. I lost him a long time ago and I was hoping he was here." I said, hopeful. If this place was so small she had to have known him.
"And who is that?" She asked, sitting back in her chair. She seemed so arrogant and dark. I wasn't getting a goo vibe from her at all.
"Well, most people know him by Captain Hook. His name is-"
"I know what his name is." She said, throwing up her hand to cut me off. "Hook is dead." She said, standing up immediately. "So don't bother." As she started to walk away, she looked back with a terrible smile on her face. "Catch." She threw a small object at me. I caught it instinctively, it was a magic bean. "I've been saving that for a special occasion. Go back to Neverland where you belong."
Tears stung my eyes and my cheeks got hot. He couldn't be dead. No way. Killian was a survivor, he couldn't be dead. She had to have been lying. The thoughts were rushing around my head so fast that it became hard to even breathe. I quietly walked out of the building, trying to keep my composure as to not draw more attention.
I took a few back alleys out of the center of town and back to the water. "This can't be real." I kept repeating this thought over and over in my head until it sounded like gibberish. I came to dock where I came across one of my best memories. The Jolly Roger floated before me, quiet. It was just as massive and flawless as I remembered. I did my best not to cry as I slowly walked upon the ship's deck. No one was in sight and the world around me was silent.
I walked around the ship I once called home for what seemed like hours, finally feeling something from my old life again. I desperately needed this to cope with the information I'd just been given. If Killian really was dead, I was going to need some answers. I wanted to know what happened to him and why. If I couldn't find him, I would find his answers. But until then, I thought it best I just lay low until everyone got over my newness.
I made my way below deck to the Captain's Quarters where Killian and I had spent so many romantic and playful nights. I laid down on our bed where so many of my fondest memories came from. We'd sit up at night and talk about our pasts, our futures together, the things we wanted to do and see, not to mention the physical love that occurred there. It was good to be back, to feel so close to him again, but so sad that there as a possibility that this was as close as I'd ever get again.
I sat up and looked out at the water from the window and noticed something shining hanging from a small hook in the upper corner of the wood around the window. I got up to see what it was, and what I discovered broke my heart. It was my father's necklace. He'd kept it all those years. This seemed like proof that he didn't leave me alone on purpose, which hurt a little more. That was the one thing that finally made me break.
I cried myself to sleep that night for the first time since the following weeks I'd lost Killian. Trying to be strong was something I always did, but I couldn't bear the thought of him being dead, but that was what was happening. I had never felt more alone or more at home.