Jason Dean rode his bike as fast as he could without raising suspicion, head still reeling from the fight with his fuck head of a Father earlier that evening. Words had been said; words he would never repeat out loud. Still, they crashed around inside his skull as if they were looking for an exit. The city of Sherwood, Ohio passed in a blur of angry car horns and lights still turned on in driveways; waiting for someone to return home. He periodically wiped tears out of his eyes; telling himself that they were caused by the wind that burned every time he breathed in and made him lick his drying lips every so often. He pulled up abruptly outside a small 7/11 just outside the town; the one he frequented in Sherwood was haunted with memories of Veronica.
He ran a hand through his hair in an effort to undo the damage caused by the wind and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He opens his eyes again when they stop stinging and turns his bike off, kicking down the stand and leaning to the right so he can get off. Trench coat is delicately collected in one hand as he clumsily stumbles off the seat and shakily runs his hands down his face, trying to collect his thoughts. He scratches an itch on his arm near the healing cuts and clenches his hand into a fist. Sighing, he walks into the 7/11; boots splashing in the shallow puddles of water from the occasional light drizzle that Ohio was subject to early in the morning.
Green eyes dart down to look at his watch: 1.30 a.m. Perfect. Another school day he was sure to start on five cups of $2 black coffee. He smiles at the familiar ding, signalling his entrance into the store, reverse air-conditioning catching the shivering boy off guard and making his fingers ache from the change in temperature; grateful that it was warm, he gave a thankful smile to the cashier who replied with a lazy wave. Heart rate returning to normal from the rush of adrenalin that was finally wearing off, JD ran his fingers along one of the shelves, trying to ground himself in reality with the familiar isles.
He slowly makes his way to the Slurpee Machine, the familiar hum of the electricity powering its simple motor forcing a relieved chuckle out of JD's lips. Picking up a cup, he fills it with whatever he can; most of the flavours mixing with each other and forming some sort of horrid half-sour-half-sweet drink that JD could just stomach, although he drinks it regardless. A Slurpee is a Slurpee. Cigarette smoke hung lightly in the air, revealing the type of folk that hung around 7/11's during the day and JD is glad he's missed them. Most people don't react well to his "look".
After paying the cashier more than was required, he walks outside, shuddering as the wind cuts into his trench coat and leans up against his bike, the metal still warm from the journey. His now wet sleeve from the rain stings against his newer cuts, but he ignores the pain, sipping at the Slurpee instead.
The only other thing outside the 7/11 was a stray bird that was pecking at crumbs near the garbage can, its black feathers gleaming under the lights from the gas station. JD watched it for a while, flexing his fingers to keep them from going numb from the cold Slurpee held in his grasp. He looked down at the cement, splashing the water towards the bird with a smooth side kick of his foot. It stared at him for a while, tilted its head to the side, and flew away.
"Smart bird…" mumbled JD, staring down at his now wet boot and flicking the water off it with a stomp.
He grins and holds his thumb to the middle of his brow as the first of many brain freezes takes hold. A pure ache at the front of his skull, just above his thumb, that made him close his eyes and grit his teeth as a moan escaped his lips. He pushes himself into a standing position and walks along the small brick wall near the petrol pumps as if it were a tight rope. He uses his hands to balance himself, outstretching them and almost dropping his Slurpee. He crushes a particularly dry leaf under his heel for the hell of it and turns to look out over his "kingdom".
What he saw forced his mouth to hang open in a bewildered gasp and his eyes to grow wide with child-like wonder; actions he had thought long lost after his Mother left. A city of lights danced before him, like the times when his Father had rushed his Mother to a hospital in the early hours of the morning and the lights blurred into one long string as the car drove past.
In front of him, laid out like it was a display for every child, were the lights reflected in crystal like forms from the wet cement. Each puddle of light reflecting the ghastly red, orange, and green lights in a different way as the rain that started to fall also caught some of the lights and blurred them. There were no other sources of light except for inside the 7/11 and the various street lamps along the highway. The ground beneath him wasn't just a reflection; it looked like a portal into another world. A small smile forced its way onto his lips as the low buzzing of the lights registered in his already damaged hearing, bringing back memories of white hospital rooms and low-hanging ceilings of Principal offices.
Now, JD looked up; up towards the moonless sky that shone only with stars. He gave the brightest star, Orion his Ma had called it, a little wave and blinked his eyes a few times to get rid of the sting of rain water in them. It was at these times, when JD was most alone, that he didn't feel lonely at all. He felt content. Standing there in the rain, trench coat growing damper by the second and hair becoming curlier each time a drop of rain fell on it, he felt as if all the pain, all the heartbreak, all of his illness, had been washed away by the water. Standing just above the ground gave him a sense of being greater; more powerful than anything life could throw at him, able to take on the world, to fight for what was right. He could swear his Ma was standing next to him, face wet from tears and rain mixed together and she was telling him he could survive, he could win, and he was going to do both of those things. He took one last look at the ground that would never be the same tomorrow night, or the night after that. This distorted reality, this light, this beauty, was for him: the boy who had managed to find beauty in the rain.
But dreams can never last.
As with so many good things, they end. JD jumped down from the wall, landing in a puddle with a groan as jeans became sopping wet and the ground lost its shine and became a dull grey again. Although the beauty was still there, he couldn't see it, so it was lost to him. His Ma's presence disappeared and the pain of another brain freeze throbbed through his skull. JD sipped the contents of the cup again, cringing as it coated his tongue and made his teeth ache. Almost gagging from the flavour, he throws it away; reality hitting him hard like a hand around his heart. He remembered; everything. And the numbness crept back in like a master reclaiming its property. Hands down by his side, no longer caring for the blood that was slowly making its way down his thumb, he marched to his bike and drove home; no longer taking notice of the lights or the rain. He cursed the beauty he'd seen, the happiness and rest it had given him. And the boy who had found beauty in the rain disappeared forever in a cloud of motorbike exhaust fumes.