Um...would it sound corny and lame if I asked for a Speedy/Bee fic in the spirit of Valentines day??? Heheheh...yeah, I thought so. Oh well, here is some bittersweet love from yours truly!
Oh, and the term "tyrannical bitch" was borrowed from a Titans East fic that I was reading called "Failure to Connect" If the author is reading this, please don't kill me! -puppy dog eyes- It was a great phrase, and I'm so sorry if you're angry! All credit goes to vouz! -wonders if that bad attempt at French made any sense at all-
Regarding the contents of this story: I was born and raised in New York, and I've gone to Bloomingdales a zillion times before, so I couldn't resist putting it in the story. I understand it sells things for both women AND men, but hey, it's Speedy talking here! Enjoy!
XOXOXOXO-Chocobubbles
Birthday Blues
"What?"
He eyed his teammate wearily as she canted her hips to the side and replied with a disdainful, "hmph." He glared at her in return, his eyes bearing tired annoyance. Her arms were crossed tightly and her back was facing him, and he could see her wings buzzing furiously.
"What?" he asked, his tone slightly more desperate. Bumblebee had been acting this way all day, and she simply refused to say what was bothering her. Instead she had been ignoring him for the most part, only stopping to communicate important information through little monosyllabic remarks. However, she had been behaving perfectly normal to Aqualad and the twins, if not acting even more perky and bubbly towards the three than she normally did. It was only him that she was piqued at, and he didn't even know what he had done.
She ignored him again, swaying her hips again as she flitted off into the air primly. Speedy thought for a second that he might go after her but then decided against it. He wasn't going to bust his ass over trying to appease her. He had already begged her to tell him what the problem was, but the only thing she had made clear was the fact that whatever it was, it was all his fault. Though, he was positive he hadn't done anything to offend her, at least not unlike the ways he usually does, but that was just teasing after all. In fact, he hadn't even gotten a chance to say two cocky, condescending words to her all day because from the minute he had woken up she had given him the cold shoulder.
He flopped down on the couch with a disgruntled frown. Aqualad raised his eyebrow curiously as his teammate started muttering distasteful comments under his breath.
"¿Como estas?" asked Mas and Menos.
"Just peachy." grumbled Speedy in return.
"You sure don't sound like it," said Aqualad, "something wrong?"
"No," said Speedy his tone hard and restrained, "nothing's wrong, you know, except for the fact that our leader is being a total bitch today."
Aqualad exchanged glances with the twins.
"You say that about her all the time." he replied.
"Well she's an all around pain everyday, but today she's being really bad. She won't stop ignoring me and she won't even tell me what's wrong!"
"No entendemos," said the twins, "¡Bumblebee es muy bien!"
Speedy paused before he addressed their comment, trying to recognize one of the few Spanish phrases that he had programmed his mind to memorize. Fortunately, "muy bien" computed.
"Yeah, maybe to you," he replied with narrowed eyes, "but she's been staring at me like she wants to kill me."
"And that's surprising?" asked Aqualad.
"I'm telling you, she's really pissed this time!"
His teammate watched him as he continued mumbling foul things about their leader. Though he looked genuinely upset about this, it wouldn't have surprised Aqualad if Speedy was exaggerating, overreacting, or both.
"Maybe you inadvertently offended her somehow." suggested Aqualad thoughtfully.
Speedy gave him a skeptical look, "I didn't do anything; she's just being dumb."
"Bumblebee wouldn't get really angry for no reason," Aqualad reasoned, "maybe she didn't like the present you gave her."
Speedy turned his head and looked into Aqualad's ebony eyes very oddly. Confused at his comment, he repeated, "Present?"
"Yeah," the other boy replied, "you know, birthday present?"
"Er…" he said rather blankly. On that note, Aqualad's face grew grim.
"Speedy," he said seriously, "you're not saying you actually forgot that today was Bumblebee's birthday, are you?"
Mas and Menos were staring him intently, waiting for his answer.
"Uh, maybe…?"
"SPEEDY!"
"Aye, aye, aye," groaned the twins in despair, "¡Ninguna maravilla ella es enojada!"
Okay, so maybe it had slipped his mind.
"You have got to be the most thoughtless person I know," scolded Aqualad, "how could you have forgotten? You're her teammate! The least you could have done is wished her a 'Happy Birthday', what with the way you bother her all the time!"
"Chillax, Waterboy," said Speedy, trying to brush away the guilt slowly creeping into the corners of his mind, "it's not a big deal."
"¡Es problema grande!" reprimanded the twins angrily.
Speedy turned away with furrowed brows and a crooked frown, crossing his arms like a little five-year old boy ready to have a major tantrum. Aqualad stared daggers at his back and continued to speak.
"You better fix it." he ordered coldly.
"And how the hell am I supposed to do that?" spouted Speedy defiantly.
"¡Busca un regalo, stupido!" cried the twins as if it was elementary. Aqualad nodded his head concurrently .
"In English, please?" requested Speedy sourly.
"Get her a gift, stupid." translated Aqualad.
He pondered this for a minute before replying. Well, it did seem quite obvious that the only way to remedy this situation was to get Bumblebee a birthday present, but that was much easier said than done. As far as he knew, the only thing that made her happy was incessantly nagging at him all the time, and he was not about to go mute for a day just so she could get the satisfaction of griping at him without retaliation. Asking her about it was out of the question, since she had already classified him as dead to her, so Speedy did the only logical thing to do: ask his teammates what to get her.
"Any suggestions, Fish Face?" asked Speedy grudgingly.
The Atlantean opened his mouth as if he was going to yell at him some more, but then snapped it shut. He rubbed his chin with a gloved hand, thinking deeply for a few seconds.
"Well," he spoke finally, "you should get her something special."
"Tch," scoffed Speedy, "thanks for that advice Sir-Gay-A-Lot. It really helped me narrow things down."
"Hey, don't complain. You're the one who forgot." he scorned. Mas and Menos nodded in agreement. Speedy rolled his eyes under his mask.
"What'd you get her?" he asked, jabbing a finger into Aqualad's chest. Aqualad batted his finger away and said complacently,
"A seashell."
Silence.
"PFFT…!" droplets of spittle landed on Aqualad's face as Speedy tried to contain his hysterical laughter, "A seashell? You've gotta be kidding me."
"For your information, it was an extremely special seashell," Aqualad stated proudly, "It was an exceedingly rare pink and orange Carribean Conch shell, as big as two hands. I polished it myself."
After his last sentence, Speedy couldn't bear to hold back any longer. Aqualad wasn't pleased when he was further showered with saliva.
"HA!" bawled Speedy uncontrollably, "HAHAHA!!"
A vein throbbed in his teammate's head as he glowered murderously at him. He greatly appreciated it when Speedy was able to cease laughing within a few more seconds.
"Oh God," sighed Speedy, wiping a tear away, "that was a good one. Mas, Menos, what'd you guys get BEE-otch?"
He motioned to the twins, and they in turn looked at each other with gleeful smiles.
"¡Un vestido!" they exclaimed cheerfully.
"Which is…?"
"It means dress, moron." barked Aqualad bitterly. Speedy quirked an eyebrow. Where did those two scrounge up the money for a dress when he was dead broke?
"A dress, huh?" said Speedy, "What'd it look like?"
"¡Es rojo y amarillo!" they answered happily, "¡Muy bonita!"
"Yeah," added Aqualad, "they ordered it from Guatemala. It's supposed to be some sort of traditional gown. Bee really seemed to like it."
"Probably more than your seashell."
"Hey!"
Speedy blatantly ignored him while he thought hard on what to get his female teammate. Let's see, he mused, She's a girl. What do girls like? Dress is already taken. Hmm…nail polish? Perfume? Damn it, why is this so hard?!
"Gift Card" ran through his brain but he decided that was far too insincere, and he had already forgotten her birthday as it is—no need to screw it up further with a crappy present. He was supposed to be her friend, after all, despite how he fought with her all the time. No, this should be, as Aqualad put it, special. However, Speedy wasn't exactly a sentimental guy, and as stated earlier, he didn't really have cash on him at the moment.
What should I do? Oh, I've got it!
"Aqualad, I need to borrow fifty bucks."
His teammate blinked, frowned, and stared at him with dark eyes that seemed to convey nothing but pure disgust.
"Money, please?" Speedy waved his open hand in front of his face for emphasis. With gritted teeth, Aqualad pulled out his wallet and fished out a fifty dollar bill. Speedy scrutinized the money for a few seconds, and then added a hopeful,
"Actually, how bout you throw in an extra ten? You know, so I can get her something really special."
"You owe me." Aqualad said irritably, pulling out another bill.
"I'll pay you back in a few million years," Speedy smirked as he grabbed the money, "I'll be back in a few…hours, but I'll be holding the perfect present!"
"We won't wait up." replied Aqualad, flipping open a magazine.
---
Speedy had resorted to cursing vehemently under his breath again, though this time it wasn't because of Bumblebee. His feet sloshed against the wet sidewalk as he ran hurriedly through the rain. In his haste of leaving the Tower, he had neglected to grab an umbrella, or any sort of disguising article of clothing, and he was now trying to ditch a large mob of fangirls that were chasing him down fifth avenue. After how he had mocked Aqualad, the reproachful, little voice inside his mind better known as his conscience classified this scenario as resulting from pure, bad karma.
"Ladies, I know I'm hot but I don't have time for autographs!" he yelled over his shoulder. He immediately admitted that the mention of his attractiveness wasn't the smartest thing to have said. The lovesick crowd just sped up in pace and were now closing in on him very quickly. Speedy dashed to the corner of the sidewalk, and spotting a taxi coming towards the area. He wildly waved his hand in the air, desperately trying to hail it. Luckily, the cab swerved in his direction, pulling up in front of him. Ignoring the fact that the sudden movement of the car had projected a wave of muddied water at him, he tore open the door, got inside, and slammed it shut.
"Drive!" Speedy yelled in a frenzy.
"Where to?" the driver asked in a thick, unrecognizable accent.
"ANYWHERE! JUST GO, GO, GO!"
He stepped on the gas pedal and the wheels screeched a loud, err as the vehicle zoomed through the streets.
"Whew," Speedy sighed in relief, "that was a close one."
He saw questioning, dark brown eyes in the rear-view mirror.
"Hey, I know you!" the driver said in sudden excitement, "You superhero! What your name again? Speedo?"
"It's Speedy." he corrected sharply, leaning back in the car seat. He tried to eradicate the onslaught of men's swimsuit fashions swarming his brain.
"Yeah, that it! What you doing running from girls?"
Speedy laughed sheepishly, looking through the back window to check for any sign of the crazed flock of females that were probably going to give him nightmares for a week.
"It's a long story." Speedy replied, even though it really wasn't. He was currently exhausted and soaked with a mixture of dirty water and his own sweat; he didn't feel much like talking. Speedy could see the driver's shoulder go up in down in the motion of a shrug.
"So where you going?" the cabbie asked.
"Turn right at the light. You can drop me off on the sidewalk when you see Bloomingdales."
"That woman store," he replied curiously, "Why you need go there?"
Speedy cringed at the word woman, but answered him nevertheless.
"I…uh," he said, his tone sounding embarrassed for reasons he did not know, "need to get a present…for a friend."
"Ahh!" said the cabbie with dawned realization, "I see! It for wife, yes?"
His jaw let loose and his mouth fell open comically, matching his ridiculously widened eyes and flabbergasted expression. When he spoke his voice was hoarse and barely-there, like part of his breath was still caught in his throat.
"Of course not!" he croaked, "I'm not even old enough to be married!"
"It engagement gift, then?"
"NO!" yelled Speedy, the extremely heightened volume signaling for the driver to abolish any other absurd ideas about him being romantically involved with anyone. After that exclamation, the cabbie did indeed stay silent.
---
Most of the women at Bloomingdales were over thirty or at least well into their twenties, so Speedy deemed it safe territory. However, that was only in the sense that he would leave the store with all his clothes still intact. As for the actual atmosphere of the place, he categorized it as a sickly-sweet smelling wasteland of the effeminate persuasion. Trying to make his repulsed gagging-faces less noticeable, he casually walked through the aisles.
If Speedy had been a common shopper, he would have known, and reasonably accepted the fact that finding an adequate gift item under a hundred dollars was near to impossible at a store such as this one. Unfortunately, this was not the case.
"WHAT THE HELL?" he shouted angrily, "A HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR A SCARF? WHAT ARE THEY TRYING TO DO, ROB ME??"
He thrust the scarf, wrinkled and unfolded, back into the neat pile from whence it came. The shocked stares he was receiving bounced off of him like rubber. Stomping over to another table, he picked off a bracelet from a rack. Eyes narrowing once he saw it's price tag, he turned to an elderly lady browsing next to him and shoved it in her face,
"Look at this!" he complained loudly, "Don't you agree that the cost of this crap is preposterous? IT'S AN OUTRAGE!"
The woman yelped squeakily and ran away, eager to get away from the screaming maniac. Speedy gazed at her receding form with a puzzled, "What'd I Do?" look which quickly disappeared when he noticed someone out of the corner of his eye. He whipped around to see a fruity, skinny looking man with a curled moustache tending to the stack of scarves that Speedy had just ruined. The Bloomingdales badge that was pinned to his coat pocket made it clear that he was salesperson.
"Hey you!" growled an enraged Speedy. The man's head popped up from his work and turned to meet his masked eyes.
"Yes, Monsieur?" he replied brightly.
"Look at this!" Speedy dangled the bracelet from in-between his thumb and forefinger.
"Oui, a beauteeful piece, don't you zink?" the salesman said, clapping his hands together.
"Yeah, and it'd be perfect if it wasn't for this ass load of a price you slapped on it!" Speedy barked.
The man looked at him in confusion, trying to decipher his colorful use of words, "Eh…?"
"How's a guy supposed to find a decent gift around here if even the smallest things are like, a bazillion dollars?"
The man's acutely plucked eyebrows arched in amusement. He flashed Speedy a shining, yet slightly sleazy, seventy-five dollar smile.
"Monsieur," he said, "If you wanted help finding a gift, zat eez all you had to say!"
Speedy winced at his words, heavily coated in a French accent that he could not tell was real or fake. Before he could protest, the man pranced off, expecting him to follow.
BEE-otch better like her present.
---
"How about zis?" said the salesman, who's name Speedy had learned was Jacque. He was holding up a pink diamond studded watch.
"Nope."
Jacque frowned and set it down, then picked up a golden heart pendent.
"Zis?"
"Nah."
Running low on patience, he placed his hand on his hip in a very Bumblebee-esque manner, which made Speedy flinch.
"Monsieur, I have showed you so many beauteeful zings. Surely zere is somezing you liked…?"
Speedy shook his head stubbornly. They had been at this for about two hours now, and sure, the stuff he had seen was good, but not good enough, and after all he had been through, he was not going to settle for something second-rate.
"Well, I don't know eef—"
"Wait, what is that?" Speedy cut him off and pointed animatedly to a small sparkling something hanging on a far rack. Turning in that direction, Jacque squinted his eyes to see exactly what he was talking about.
"Hmm…" he said, "Oh, zat is one of our most popular pieces. Eet is a small teddy bear charm—only fifty-two dollars. But eet looks like zere is only one left!"
Speedy's mind raced as he spotted a middle-aged woman walking towards the rack.
Bear. Honey. Honeybee. Bumblebee. It works!
He broke into a feverish sprint that gusted past Jacque, leaving him with his oily black hair side-swept and disheveled. He dashed towards the rack, knocking the lady out of his way with a rude, "Move your ass!" and grabbed the little bear. His expression was victorious until he noticed that attached to the other end of the chain was another hand: thin and topped off with blood red nails. Speedy's eyes followed it up the arm and finally laid sight on the poisonous looking face that was glaring right at him.
"It's mine!" snarled the woman. She pulled at it with unexpected Herculean strength. Speedy was yanked along, but he did not let go.
"I don't think so!" yelled Speedy, putting the heels of his boots to the floor like a makeshift brake system. Their little game of tug-o-war attracted many onlookers, not to mention a fast-approaching Jacque sporting a completely panicked expression on his face.
"Get off, you hooligan!" screamed the woman.
"In your dreams lady!" spat back Speedy.
"People, pleez!" begged Jacque, trying to soothe the situation, if that was possible.
"I protect your ass day and night; I deserve it!" said Speedy, using his superhero status as a pulpit, "I even deserve to get it at a discount!"
"I don't care, I saw it first!" shrieked the woman.
"I grabbed it first!"
"You lie!"
The battle for the bear raged on, and as it did, the string of events that had occurred today ran through his mind. He had fought tirelessly against a horrible slime-monster, made five trips back to the tower to replenish his arsenal of arrows, stifled a prison break, and he had done it all under the icy stare of his pissed-as-hell leader, who had been anything but sympathetic with his troubles. He had ran from a pack of psychotic fangirls, in the rain, spent hours at this stinkin' women's department store in a soaked, muddy uniform, and for what? To lose the perfect gift to some hag that smelled like cough drops?! As the intensity of the moment caught up to him, Speedy exploded into a heated rant that shocked everyone in the store.
"Listen to me, I slave under a cruel tyrannical bitch, day and night, protecting this smokey-lump-of-ice-for-a-city from all kinds of horrible shit, never asking for anything in return, and after going from hell-and-back, if all I want is a miniscule teddy bear charm, to give to that tyrannical bitch, to get her off my back, THEN GODDAMNIT I'M GOING TO GET IT!"
His voice echoed through the shop, leaving everyone completely speechless. The woman's fingers slowly slid away, removing themselves from the charm. Speedy's chest was still heaving.
Jacque sighed with a relieved happiness, "Will that be cash or credit?"
---
Speedy smiled gloriously, holding the gold plated, crystal bellied, enamel teddy bear charm in front of his teammates.
"Told you it'd be perfect," he smirked, "and it's definitely better than some seashell."
"Haha," said Aqualad resentfully, "but it doesn't look so great."
"No, no," chirped Mas and Menos, "¡Es magnifico!"
"Why thank you boys," said Speedy, sending a triumphant look to his Atlantean teammate, "BEE-otch can't be mad after I give her this."
"Wanna bet?" challenged Aqualad, "You still have to give her an apology."
"Piece of cake." Speedy waved Aqualad's comment away confidently. He placed the little bear in a pink box and tied it shut with a silky white ribbon. He then sauntered up the stairs with a self-satisfied grin and knocked on Bumblebee's door.
"Go away!" she yelled from the other side.
"Hey, BEE—I mean—Bumblebee. I have…something to give you…"
He immediately knew that she recognized his voice by the way she didn't reply. Despite that, he continued.
"Look," he said awkwardly, "I know today is your birthday. I also know I forgot…so I just wanted to uh…say…uh…s-sorry?"
It felt so weird on his tongue to say that. The words ungracefully tumbled out of his mouth. They were met with silence.
"Bumblebee?" he called, "I…um…got you a…present."
Suddenly the door slid aside and revealed Bumblebee's irate stare.
"I'm listening." she said expectantly, tapping her foot. Speedy gulped.
"Eh…" he took her hand and set the small package in her palm. She looked from it to him, then back. Slowly pulling the ribbon off, she opened the box and her eyes widened. She picked the little keychain up by it's golden lobster clasp, the shine of it glittering in her dark eyes.
"I thought these were all sold out…" she breathed.
"Almost," said Speedy, "I got the last one. Some stupid bag lady tried to get harass me for it, but I won it in the end."
Bumblebee's cherry lips drew up in a small smile as she held the trinket close to her heart.
"Speedy, I…" she
"No need to thank me, I already know I'm—"
He was abruptly cut off when she punched him across the face, leaving a stingy red mark.
"YOWCH!" he cried, "What the hell—!"
"That's for being an asshole and forgetting my birthday!" she huffed. He was staring back at her viciously, ready to give her a stern piece-of-mind, when she pulled him by the shoulder and laid a swift but tender kiss on his swollen cheek.
"And that's for getting me this present." she giggled. Speedy deadpanned, not sure what face to put on. He wasn't sure the heat he was feeling at the moment was from the pain caused by her punch or the blush rushing to his face.
"You must've remembered how I said I wanted one of these last month!" she beamed, throwing the box aside and clipping the charm to her belt. She engulfed him in a big hug.
"Uh…sure." he replied, having no idea what she was talking about, but wrapping his arms around her anyway.
"Thanks, lazy-ass." she said sincerely.
"No problem," he said, not able to fight back the grin that was curling across his lips, "so you forgive me, right?"
She pulled back, frowning at him like he had just made another one of his glib, flippant remarks.
"I guess…" she said, rolling her eyes. His grin grew wider, and he pulled her out of the doorway by the hand.
"How about I serve you dinner?" he said smoothly, putting his arm around her shoulder.
Her eyes glistened, "Aw, you cooked for me too?"
"Sure," he said, giving her his signature playboy smile, "if you're into cold pizza."
---
The Titans East were dining on their leftovers in good spirits. Mas and Menos were taking turns flipping channels, until they settled on the evening news. A well-coifed anchorman was speaking seriously,
"This just in," he spoke with a low voice, "Speedy, most well-known as the agile archer of the city's esteemed Titans East, was seen earlier today making a scene in the jewelry department of downtown Bloomingdales. Here is video footage of the angry rant he made…"
All five of them watched in disturbed awe as Speedy's furious, long monologue played on the television screen. With each profane sentence that flew out of his recorded mouth, Speedy felt the growing need to take cover under the couch. After it had finished, the four boys looked to Bumblebee, who was not pleased in the least.
Speedy watched in horror as her stingers sparked up like lightning.
"Tyrannical bitch, huh?"
END