A/N: Ron Moore created the world of Battlestar Galactica and the profits belong to him. I merely take his world and tweak it to soothe my shipper soul. This time I've eliminated Lee's unfortunate weight gain and establish that forgiveness doesn't necessarily have to come after bloodshed.
It starts…
with a whisper.
Like it does every night.
It's so faint that he isn't even sure he actually heard anything.
But something woke him.
A voice, close to his ear, whispering his name.
He rolls to his left to see if it was Dee who had spoken, but she's lying on her side, back to him, sound asleep.
He pulls the blanket up higher against the chill in the room. Sleep feels impossible now, so he listens and waits to see if he'll hear it again.
As he waits, he watches the low light of the room glint off his wedding band, and he remembers a cold night on a nearby planet. Warm in the heat of another woman's arms, bodies locked together in passion, her breath soft on his face as she sighs his name.
"Lee."
He jerks awake, unaware that he had fallen asleep again. He's almost certain that his sudden movement woke his wife, but when he checks, she hasn't moved.
"Dee?" He says quietly, tentatively – afraid to wake her, but he has to know if it was her. "Dee?" He says again, infinitesimally louder, just to be sure, but she doesn't stir. He listens to her slow, rhythmic breathing and is certain it wasn't she who had called to him. Confirms it was only a dream.
His heartbeat won't slow and a soft sheen of sweat still beads on his brow, as if the dream (so real) doesn't want to leave him as much as he doesn't want it to.
He sits up, swings his legs over the side of the bed and holds his head in his hands. He takes deep breaths, willing himself back to normal. But there is no normal for him. Not here.
He dresses silently and leaves.
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She's only had one decent night's sleep since they settled on New Caprica; a cold night in a quiet field, wrapped in Lee's arms, listening to the strong beat of his heart. She had declared her love for him to the stars that night. Shouted it to the sky, loud enough for the gods to hear. She meant it then. She means it still. It's why she ran from him.
She's spent every night since that one like this; waiting for her husband to fall asleep before she slips out into the cold darkness of her new home world.
She finds their place, lies on her back in the cold, yet soft sand and gazes up at the billions of points of light above her. She finds the one that she's deemed to be The Pegasus in its protective orbit – though she knows it's impossible to tell - and sends up her silent prayer. Not to the gods, but to him.
She tells him again that she loves him and she prays that he's happy.
She doesn't pray for his forgiveness. She doesn't want it. What she wants is for him to be as far away as possible from the curse that is Kara Thrace. It's destroyed every man that she's ever held dear – her father, Zak – but she's learned from her mistakes. She can keep one step ahead of it and keep Lee safe. As long as he's alive, she can survive.
And she has Sam. He's close enough in appearance that she can look into his blue eyes, run her fingers through his soft brown hair and imagine he's Lee. She loves him, but not as much as he loves her. And she can live without him.
She squeezes her eyes tight against the sharp sting of tears she refuses to shed -she will not give in to self pity. She raises her hand to her face to wipe away the one rebellious tear and imagines his gentle hands are touching her.
"Lee."
-----------------------
He wanders slowly through the corridors of The Pegasus. He runs his hands along the bulkheads and concentrates on the low hum of the ships engines - different from Galactica, but familiar and comforting all the same. It's a routine that usually helps calm his demons, but tonight they won't be stilled. In his mind he hears her whisper his name over, and over.
He considers having more than a few drinks in the rec room to exorcise it. Dee is never impressed with him staggering into their quarters, blind drunk, in the wee hours of the morning. She knows why he does it. But impressing her isn't his goal tonight. Every other distraction - playing cards, going to the gym, running – reminds him of her.
He's restless. Empty. Needy. And what he needs isn't here on this ship. It's down on that planet.
Before he's even aware of it, he's standing on the hangar deck, staring longingly at the ships.
"Thinking of taking one out for a spin, sir?" Lee startles at the sound of the Deck Chief's voice, he hadn't heard him come up behind him.
There's no point in going down to the planet. She's made her choice. He's made his.
"No."
He'll get over Kara Thrace. But even as he thinks it, he knows it's a lie. That woman in his bed is a consolation prize, a poor substitute for the woman he wants and his heart betrays him.
"Wait.."
-----------------------
It starts with a whisper.
So faint that she isn't even sure she actually heard anything.
But something woke her.
A voice, close to her ear, whispering her name.
She raises her hand to her ear to capture the ghostly sensation of his breath on her skin, certain that he was only just there.
But she's alone.
His light in the sky has faded and there's a soft glow on the horizon. It will be dawn soon. Time for her to leave Lee and go back to Sam.
She stands slowly, stiff from the cold ground, and gives one last look to the heavens. "I love you." She whispers.
The reply comes from behind her.
"I love you too."
fin