Disclaimer:

Me: Melissa, you are such a freakin' jerk.

Melissa: Maybe if you didn't make me dance to My Chemical Romance with you all the time I wouldn't be jerky.

Me: Then you're beef jerky!

Melissa: (throws tomato sauce on me) Ha!

Me: While I beat up Melissa please know I do not own iCarly so enjoy! (Attacks Melissa) You're so dead, Melissa!

Sam's POV

I was at my second house, if you guessed Carly's apartment you guessed right. But this time they weren't here so I looked in the fridge, like always. Jackpot! Mama loves her ham but before I got to devour my ham I got a text message. It said I won the I Must Have My Meat contest. It also said I can go to Paris and I can bring four other people. Paris here I come! Well, right after I eat my ham.

After I was done eating my ham, I started dancing around until the door opened and I just froze.

"Nice moves, Samantha." Freddie said. But I quickly unfroze when he said Samantha.

"Call me Samantha again and I'll kill you." I warned him. He looked scared but continued talking.

"So what's with the dancing?" He questioned.

"I won a meat eating contest and I can bring four people with me to Paris!" I screamed in excitement. Freddie and I looked at each other then we both danced around the room until I tripped and fell on top of Freddie. I enjoyed being this close to him but I acted like I didn't.

"Watch where you're going, nub." I said while getting up and helping Freddie up. As soon as I touched his hand I felt like electricity ran through me. "And keep your nubness off me." I said while pulling my hand away from his.

"Will do, Princess Puckett." He said while dusting himself off then I heard him mumble. "Will do."

"So Fredweird, you know who I'm gonna take, right?" I asked and he nodded. "Alright call the hunkiest boy of all your friends and I'll see you when school starts." He looked hurt but I laughed. "I'm kidding just tell your psycho mother you'll be back when school starts and give a hot boy my phone number, will ya?" He looked happy again and he smiled that wonderful smile of his. This nub is a weird one with a psycho mother but man does this boy make my day. Oh, that reminds me…..

"Hey Fredweird can I have a hug?" I asked trying not to smile. He looked confused but he smiled and hugged me and I wrapped my arms around him and gave him the biggest wedgie in the history of wedgies. I pulled back and smiled at his priceless face. I still got it! Then I sat on the couch and continued to look at him. "Now give me my ham, nub." He went to the fridge and got more ham and gave it to me. After he gave me my ham he sat down next to me and he wrapped one arm around me. I could feel I was blushing. "Nubness!" I coughed and he quickly retreated his arm back to his side.

Me: Did it fudgin' suck? Or….

Melissa: It sucked.

Me: You know what else sucks?

Melissa: What else sucks?

Me: You! But anyway, review 'cause I gotta know if it sucked or not. I just want 5 reviews and that's it.

Melissa: Review for the children!

Me: Oh you mean you're baby brother?

Melissa: Yes! What's wrong for reviewing for Alex?

Me: He basically attacked me! Your brother is an animal!

Melissa: Then he's doing what he's been told!

Me: Also review saying if I should kill Mel or not!

Melissa: But-

Me: (waving) I'm sorry that's all we have for today! Bye! Mel's annoying!

Melissa: What?

Me: (still waving) Nothing, buddy.