Don't own Bleach!

This has both Yaoi and Yuri. Non-concentual. You have been warned.


The hollow's cries were loud and near. No matter how many times Ichigo had heard their haunting bellows, they still startled him when they began.

Since his teacher refused to let him go to the bathroom during class anymore, Ichigo had conveniently developed turrets syndrome. Backed up by a forged note from his father, it was enough to bring his teacher to tears at his plight and allow him the freedom of leaving the class whenever he had an 'attack'.

Ichigo stood, slammed his fists on his desk and yelled. Then he dashed out of the classroom while the teacher's eyes began to water in pity and a few classmates shuffled awkwardly. There was a storage closet at the end of the hall that Ichigo used for instances like this. He dove inside and slapped his shinigami badge against his chest, expelling his soul. His body slumped over one of the extra desks as Ichigo vanished in a gust of wind that stirred the settled dust.

By lunch, Ichigo still hadn't returned. The hollow was fast, Uryu could feel it zigzagging just out of Ichigo's reach. It was a powerful one, that much Uryu could tell by its reiatsu.

Uryu set his lunch on his desk and began unwrapping it from it's checkered handkerchief when there was a short cry followed by a crash. Orhihime, who was sitting at her desk had been ambushed by Chizuru who grabbed her breasts from behind and bit her shoulder. The over excited lesbian had knocked the chair off balance, sending them both crashing to the floor. This final act of abuse was too much for the poor chair, the jolt shearing a screw and sending a steel leg sliding across the room.

"Oh, no! My lunch!" Orihime exclaimed. Red bean paste covered the front of her blouse in a sticky mass of goo. Chizuru straddled her hips and pinned her hands above her head.

"I'm sorry, Hime! I'll lick off the mess right away!" Chizuru said, her eyes gleaming as she leaned forward with her forked tongue hanging out.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Tatsuki growled, beaning Chizuru upside the head and knocking her away from her best friend. "HOW MUCH DO I NEED TO BEAT YOU BEFORE YOUR CURED OF YOU PERVERTEDNESS?" Tatsuki yelled, pummeling Chizuru with the heel of her shoes.

"Um…Tatsuki, it's alright, you really don't need to go that far," Orihime said, trying to calm her friend. Uryu set aside his lunch and stood, patting Orhihime's shoulder as he walked passed her.

"I'll go get you a new chair," he said.

"Oh! Thank you, Uryu! Ah! Tatsuki! She's bleeding!"

Uryu was steady as he walked to the storage closet, but nearly collapsed when he shut the door behind him.

Holy shit, lesbians were hot!

For a healthy teenage boy, just one reference to girl on girl action was enough to get his pants tight. Uryu groaned and reached for his fly. Since Chizuru's rampant horniness was a daily occurrence, Uryu had made himself a set of special underwear that would keep his 'ahem' in check for the sake of decency and his own safety. They weren't very comfortable in cases like these and they were a bit of a pain to get off, but they battled the bulge in a very dangerous war. He shuddered to think of what Tatsuki would do to him if she realized he was getting off each time her best friend was assaulted.

The small storage room was pitch black. Uryu flipped the light on and locked the door behind him as his one hand deftly took care of his belt. Just as the leather strap fell to the floor, Uryu turned around and his heart nearly jumped out of his throat. Ichigo lay slumped across a spare desk, his head turned to Ishida at an odd angle and his eyes wide.

"Kurosaki!" Uryu shrieked. He jumped back and found his back pressed against the door. "I was, uh, I had to…"

Wait, Ichigo was miles away battling a hollow. Uryu could definitely feel his reiatsu in the distance.

"Um…Kon?" Uryu asked the still body. It didn't move. Uryu took a few cautious steps forward and leaned down to peer into Ichigo's face. His eyes were glassy and his mouth was ajar, a small puddle of drool forming on the desk below him. Ishida snorted.

"Not very glamorous now, are you?" he asked, undoing the button of his pants and letting them fall to the floor. Then he eased the tight, padded briefs down, letting his erection free with a small sigh of relief. He pulled down one of the chairs stacked along the wall and sat on it, lounging against the back and grabbing himself.

Uryu closed his eyes and imagined Chizuru straddling Orhihime, holding her pinned and grinding against her hips as she violated Orhihime's virgin mouth with her snakish tongue. As he stroked himself he imagined Orhihime's cries of alarm turning to pants and startled cries as she was turned on by her assault, succumbing to lust and being confused by it because she was just so damned innocent. He imagined Chizuru licking up the red bean paste that smeared Orhihime's blouse, coaxing the nipples to stand hard and round as cherries from beneath her damp shirt because Orhihime never wore bras in Uryu's fantasies. Then their shirts were gone and Chizuru pressed her breasts (which were now two cup sizes larger than in real life) against Orhihime's making her cry in pain as the sensitive flesh was mashed between the two bodies.

Uryu's eyes rolled open and he glanced over at Ichigo's body. Ichigo's face was still turned to him, his blank eyes wide and staring with his mouth gaping.

It was creepy.

Uryu let go of his erection and stood, closing the gap between him and Ichigo in one step. He wrapped an arm around Ichigo's shoulder and lifted him up, turning his lolling head so that it was facing the other direction when he set him back down. Uryu reclaimed his seat and closed his eyes.

Matsumoto burst in on the two girls wearing nothing but a purple strap on dildo. Orhihime squeaked and Chizuru cooed. Uryu grinned and began stroking. Rangiku was taking Orhihime from behind while Chizuru was on her back beneath the two of them, her tongue feasting on their cunts whilst Rangiku violated Orhihime's ass with the dildo. Orhihime was sobbing and incoherent with lust, her breasts swinging and slapping together in time with the brutal invasion.

"Oh, yeah. You like that, don't you?" Rangiku was purring. "You may seem innocent, but you really want it in the ass." Orhihime cried and shook her head.

"No? You don't like it in the ass?" Rangiku asked. Orhihime shook her head again, a string of drool dribbling from her mouth onto Chizuru's thigh. "So you don't like it when I do this?" Rangiku sped and deepened her thrusts making Orhihime scream.

"Maybe I should stop, since you don't like it so much. Do you think I should stop Chizuru?" Rangiku asked. As answer Chizuru's tongue dove into Rangiku's pussy, making the shinigami gasp.

"Good idea, Chizuru. Orhihime, if you want me to stop you have to eat out Chizuru. Until she comes, I keep slamming your ass," Rangiku purred into Orhihime's ear, nibbling on her shoulder.

Uryu's eyes opened again, he swore he sensed Ichigo's body twitching. He continued to stroke himself as he kept a wary eye on the body. There it was again, a small spasm of the little finger. Uryu jumped. Watching carefully, he noticed something else. Ichigo's body was breathing. The breaths were so slow and so shallow that it was almost unnoticeable. Uryu was fascinated. He had almost forgotten that this was Ichigo's actual body, not a gigai.

Uryu stood again and stepped up to the body. He reached around and pressed his fingers at the base of Ichigo's neck. It took a moment to find it, but there was his pulse, slow and steady. Uryu stood up straight and stared at the body, his hand absently going back to his hard organ as an idea formed in his head.

He couldn't say he was friends with Ichigo, in fact he couldn't exactly say that he even liked him. He respected Ichigo's determination and ethic, but couldn't stand the fact that he could grow so powerful when he was so naive. He was jealous of how quickly the shinigami had risen above his level of power, and he hated knowing that Ichigo could destroy him without breaking a sweat.

Ishida was pretty loose in his sexuality. He'd never been in a gay relationship before, but he had jacked off thinking of guys a few times and didn't really see the harm. If there was a hole, he'd fuck it. And there was a hole right here. Ichigo wasn't using it for anything at the moment, so why not?

Feeling extremely confident and just a little vindictive, Uryu stripped Ichigo's body from the waist down. It took a bit of effort to situate the lifeless body over the edge of the desk and prop each knee on a chair stacked with old phonebooks, but he managed it and his prize was a pucker at exactly waist level.

Uryu smiled to himself and ran a hand along Ichigo's back. Ichigo's body was lithe and finely muscled, his limbs long and perfectly toned. Uryu had never jerked off to Ichigo before, he preferred thinking of dominating men that were larger than him. He had masturbated to Chad, Renji, and even Kenpachi a few times. But he had to say, Ichigo's body wasn't all that bad even though it was almost the exact same build as his. It wasn't all in the size of muscles, this was the most powerful shinigami he had ever met.

Uryu's hand stroked the firm mound of Ichigo's ass. Ichigo's skin was so smooth and warm, like the lazy heat of someone asleep. Uryu stuck three fingers in his mouth and washed them with his tongue, making sure they were wet from tip to base. Then he braced his fingers against Ichigo's hole. He paused there, taking a quick mental check on the location of Ichigo's soul. He was still chasing the hollow which seemed to be leading him further and further away.

Uryu grinned and eased his finger into the hole. Ichigo was tight and his muscles spasmed around Uryu's finger as he moved it in and out and side to side. The relaxed body put up no fight to him as he inserted a second finger followed quickly by a third. Just for the hell of it, Uryu reached around with his free hand to run a finger along Ichigo's shaft. To his surprise it was hardening. He was definitely doing something right.

Smug to the brim with Quincy pride, Uryu smeared his beading precum down his shaft, positioned himself and eased his cock home.

Damn that felt nice. Uryu had dated a girl for a few months the year before and he'd taken her both vaginally and anally. But holy fuck this was so much hotter! The body didn't clench around him, only giving feeble muscle spasms with its limited ability to react, but just the fact that he was dom-ing a man was all the stimuli he needed.

And not just any man, this was the body of Kurosaki Ichigo lying helpless and at his mercy. It was Ichigo's lungs that were beginning to expand and deflate rapidly, striving to supply oxygen to the blood engorging his cock which seemed to have is own consciousness. The lively organ pulsed and twitched in Ishida's fist, the tip leaking clear fluid into his palm.

Ishida groaned and pressed his chest to Ichigo's back as his pelvis went wild on his ass. The pressure forced Ichigo's breath out in a whooshing groan that startled Uryu. Then Uryu chuckled. Kurosaki Ichigo was moaning for him.

Ichigo's cock spasmed, and then began to spurt. The orgasm forced his ass to tighten involuntary around Uryu's engorged shaft. Uryu groaned again and began to come. His thrusts became deeper and more sporadic. One of Ichigo's knees slipped off the stack of phonebooks with the force of them. Uryu caught it around the thigh and lifted it as he thrusted, changing the angle of his penetration. Ichigo's head was smacking the legs of a stack of desks with each plunge as Uryu rode out the seemingly endless stream of ecstasy.

When Uryu returned to earth, he was panting and sweaty. Ichigo's body was gasping, the head shifted to an angle that made breathing difficult. Uryu swallowed to wet his dry throat and readjusted Ichigo's head. There was a stack of extra linens for the home ec. class on a shelf to his right. He pulled it down and quickly cleaned up the both of them, then eased Ichigo's clothes and shoes on. After dressing himself and putting the storage room back in order, Uryu gave Ichigo a fond pat on the butt and grabbed the extra chair.

"Thanks for the good time, Kurosaki," Uryu said and left the room, turning off the light and shutting the door behind him.

Orhihime, Tatsuki and Chizuru weren't in the classroom when he returned, he imagined Orhime was changing her shirt and Chizuru was in the nurses office. He set the chair at the desk and took his seat, returning to his neglected lunch.

The hollow presence in the distance disappeared. Ichigo began the flash steps back to school.

The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch and the three missing girls returned. Orihime now dressed in her gym clothes beamed a 'thank you' at Uryu who returned it with an 'it was my pleasure' smirk and nod.

The teacher was just about to write some math problems on the blackboard when the school rattled with a scream.

"OOOWWWW! WHAT THE HELL?"

"Poor boy," their teacher lamented.


Mwuahaha. I feel kind of dirty.